Kinda sorta inspired by Adele's song Rumour Has It.

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She doesn't love you like I do. She's screwing around behind your back, you know. It's so hard to watch because you're completely oblivious. I'm dying to tell you, but it's not my place. And I know you wouldn't listen to me anyway. I'm just the best friend who blends in with the background. Not easily seen or heard, especially when you're with her. It hurts so much, because I turned down tons of nice guys who actually wanted to be my boyfriend. All for you, but you don't know. You never did.

Rumors fly all over campus about her. But you don't hear. At this point, I don't know if it's just plain obliviousness or wilful ignorance. All I know is I can't stand it anymore. I don't care if it's not my place, you deserve to know. You have a knowing look in your eyes when I finally meet you in our dorm room. I open my mouth to begin, but you hold up your hand and give me a sad smile.

    "I already know, Minho. Did you think I couldn't hear? No. I heard every single whisper. I've even caught her at it. I just... I don't know what to do about it. I love her," you start crying in front of me. I'm incredibly awful at making people feel better, but I think you know I'm trying my best. You hold onto me tightly and stifle your sobbing in my shoulder. It feels so nice to have you clinging to me like this.

    "You have to let go of her, Jinki," I say quietly. You look up from my shoulder with wide eyes and begin shaking your head. "You're only going to wind up hurting yourself in the end if you don't." You flinch at the harsh tone of voice. I instantly feel guilty but this is something you need to hear whether you want to or not. I should probably take my own advice and let go of you.

    "I love her so much, though. I don't want to let go," before I can think twice about my actions, I grab your face and kiss your lips. Your eyes widen almost comically before you push me away. "What was that, Minho?" you ask in a shaky voice. I'm so nervous about what you're going to say, but I hide it.

    "I thought it was pretty clear that it was a kiss," my voice is flat, but I catch a note of desperation towards the end. "I've loved you since the beginning of high school, and I'm tired of watching you hurt yourself over girls who obviously don't care." You stared at me, speechless. Your mouth was wide open. I couldn't bear to look in your eyes to see the disgust that had to be there.

    "I.. I didn't know," you sound so sad. I knew this would happen, but I can't help the disappointment welling up in me. "I'm sorry, Minho." I nod, too choked up to say anything, and leave. I can't stand being around you anymore. Even though it's my own fault.

~

I don't see you for a couple of weeks after that but the rumors fly around that you've broken up with your girlfriend. It's nice to hear that you took my advice. I wish I could take my own advice. I'm still not over you. I don't think I ever will be. Not completely anyway.

It amazes me every time I think about it, but I've actually managed to make a new friend in the time I've spent away from you. He's a charming soul who goes by the name of Jonghyun. He lives down the hall from us, by the way. Just in case you've been wondering where I spend nights when I don't come back to our dorm room.

I know he's attracted to me from the glances he gives me when he thinks I'm not looking. But I don't think he'd ever act because he already knows about how hung up on you I am. I feel like I can tell him everything, and I've known him less than a week. Isn't that odd? I never feel like I can tell you anything.

I'm studying when I hear a knock on the door. I figure it's Jonghyun coming to help me study since he said he would, but you stumble in drunker than I've ever seen you. I try to help you to the bathroom, but you push me against the wall and start kissing me. You keep slurring about how wrong I was to leave, and how you love me. I want so badly to believe it, but I don't. You want this, and I have to frantically repeat it in my head to make myself even seem okay with our clothes coming off.

You wake up the next morning screaming. I open my eyes and look at your face. You're looking at me with so much disgust and hate. I knew it was a bad idea, and I take full responsibility. I figure you probably don't want to see my face so I get up and put my clothes on. I don't look at you or acknowledge you, even when I hear you ask where I'm going with that bag of clothes.

I break down when Jonghyun finally opens the door to his room. He fortunately doesn't have a roommate, so he gladly helps me make up the other bed. I know he's sad for me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he's insanely happy that you're out of the picture for good (probably). I don't know, it could be the slight smile on his face. Or the gleam in his eyes, either one.

~

I think I'm finally over you. Being away from you and not seeing you (I did move into Jonghyun's room, by the way. In case you were wondering why you don't see me in the dorm room anymore.) has done a lot to help me lay my first love to rest. But I really should know by now that God hates me.

I'm walking in the hall of our dorm building with Jonghyun when we cross paths again. I stand stock still and my grip on Jonghyun's hand is painfully tight. He entertwines his fingers with mine reassuringly and shifts closer to me. You stare at us for several seconds, as if you're trying to figure something out. You flash me a sad smile when it seems you're finished.

    "So it seems the rumors are true, then," I nod. "I'm sorry I freaked out the morning after we... well. You know. I blamed you, even though it was my fault. And I think part of the reason I freaked out so bad was because it meant I was forced to realize I care about you as more than a friend. But you have someone else now." I want to protest, but I can't because it's the truth. Jonghyun is kind of adorable, like a puppy. He's become my knight in shining armor, even though I'm not some girl who needs to be saved.

You walk away and my heart feels heavy and lighter at the same time.

The next day, I hear the rumors fly about you dating some guy named Kibum. I hope he's good to you. You deserve it.
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So yeah. I feel like this is complete crap, but I'll post it anyway since it's been a while.

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Til next time, loves. ^o~ ☺ ♥ ♫