This idea refused to leave me alone. So here you are. This story includes a lot of angst.

Also includes a lot of swearing. It has a somewhat happy ending. I tried to make it realistic.

There's implied , One!Sided 2min, and implied Hyunseung/Taemin [No, though]

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Taemin felt sick to his stomach. He picked at the food Key made, wishing it was someone else who'd made it. Because honestly, Key was a man and men weren't supposed to feel this way about other men. Especially the ones Taemin felt a supposedly family-like connection to. Taemin hadn't thought of Key as an umma-figure in a long time, and it sickened him because Key was a mother figure. It's just.. Taemin feels disgusting and Key doesn't like anything disgusting, and why did he even care because guys didn't like other guys.

He felt even sicker as his thoughts whirled in circles around each other. He started hyperventilating as the pain he felt in his chest got to be too much and his vision started to darken at the edges. He widened his eyes. When had he managed to get this bad? Taemin didn't know. He didn't hear the concerned shouts as he slumped over, landing in Minho's lap. The older boy was nearly beside himself when Taemin slumped and landed in his lap. He had always wanted Taemin, but not like this.

When Taemin opened his eyes, he was in his room and it was light outside. He noticed immediately that he felt awful. His head hurt and his whole body hurt and he felt of his forehead and felt a slightly warm, wet cloth on his forehead. He frowned. He was sick? Crap, he needed to practice his dancing, and there was school to worry about-- He tried sitting up and was pushed back down. He looked up and saw Key there. He frowned, please no, not now not now-And his heart was ripping to shreds in his chest and tears stung his eyes.

    "Please leave," he managed to get out without sounding like he was about to cry. Key objected, but then saw Taemin's face scrunched with the effort to not cry. He didn't question the request, but couldn't help feeling extremely sad. Couldn't Taemin see that he'd be there for him no matter what? He walked out of the room and walked into Minho. He looked up, surprised.

    "Would you please go in there and watch after Taemin-ah? He didn't want me in there," Key couldn't help the hurt and confusion that showed clearly on his face and in his tone. Minho nodded and went in Taemin's room. Taemin just about threw himself at Minho and sobbed. Minho didn't ask questions, and just held his dongsaeng. That was all he could do.

The next day, Taemin wasn't feeling much better, but forced everyone to let him resume his schedules anyway. He avoided Key like the plague and Key noticed. He was disappointed, and frustrated, and hurt and confused and God, why was Taemin avoiding him? Did he unintentionally hurt Taemin? Oh, dear Jesus that would be so so so bad, he could never forgive himself. Jonghyun stopped Key's inner ramblings by thumping his forehead. Key glared at Jonghyun and rubbed his forehead, silently thanking the dino for stopping his thoughts. He was getting nearly hysterical.

Taemin clung onto Minho like a lifeline and Taemin supposed that for now, he was. He knew it was unfair to use Minho in such a manner, especially since he knew how Minho felt about him. But Taemin's heart belonged to Kim ing Kibum, and he hated every second of it. He hated loving Key because he knew it was disgusting and wrong and confusing as because he knew that Key wasn't gay. He let Minho use his body, hoping that it would get rid of his feelings. He cried and hated it because the only thing he could think was 'it's not Key'.

Minho knew that Taemin was in a bad place. A very bad place, mentally, and he felt awful taking advantage of the maknae like that, but if it was the only way he could be close to Taemin, so be it. He tried to stop the maknae's advances initially but-- oh, oh Taemin needed to do that again.

Key was increasingly worried over Taemin. He couldn't help beating himself up all the time, even though he didn't know what he'd done wrong. Stupid Kibum, stupid, because of you Taemin is sick and he's not okay and God, what did you do to him? Taemin didn't know that most nights, Key had to take medicine to help him sleep, or his thoughts raced around Taemin.

The other members noticed what was happening and decided that whatever it was, Key and Taemin needed to work it out pronto. Their public image was beginning to get affected with it, which was not good. At all. Jonghyun had to drag Minho of the apartment for the day, protesting that Taemin wouldn't be right again unless something was done. And Minho knew that was the truth, but he was not in an accepting mood. He was almost insanely jealous of Key.

Key woke up that morning and immediately went to the bathroom, refusing to look in the mirror. He knew that these days, he looked like absolute crap. His skin was breaking out like nobody's business despite the wash he used every morning, and had also lost the luster it usually had. He just knew he had panda eyes, which was so unattractive, and it's no wonder Taemin didn't even look in his direction anymore-- . He really needed to stop thinking about Taemin. He walked downstairs, frowning slightly at the silence throughout the dorm. He walked in the kitchen and found a note on the kitchen table.

'Taemin & Key
Work it out or else.
The rest of SHINee'

Key couldn't help but chuckle, even though inside he was panicking. He wasn't sure why he was so anxious but he hated feeling that way. Maybe the other guys were right, this probably should have happened a long time ago, and Key didn't know why it hadn't already-- Taemin shuffled in the kitchen, half asleep and God could Key's heart beat any faster? He wasn't sure, but he felt like it was about to burst out of his chest in a very uncomfortable way. Taemin froze when he realized Key was in the kitchen and was about to walk out when Key grabbed his wrist.

    "Wait, Taemin-ah. Please, talk to me," Key begged. Taemin had his face turned away from Key, and he bit his lip. Key's hand around his wrist was sending borderline uncomfortable shocks through Taemin's system. And he paled, he felt so disgusting for feeling this way, because his body yearned for that touch and he couldn't help it, God help him, he couldn't help wanting Key so bad. He sobbed, breaking down entirely in front of Key and Key was there, hugging him murmuring words of comfort. Taemin vaguely heard 'it's okay, it's okay' and he wrenched himself out of Key's grasp.

    "N-no, it's not-t okay, Kibum-hyung," Taemin said between sobs. "I-it's not o-okay to want y-you this way. I'm s-so sick of feeling l-like this. I h-hate it." Key was confused. Feeling like what? He reached his arms out to hold Taemin, and had his arms slapped away. He felt the physical sting as well as the emotional sting.

    "Taemin-ah, you think you were the only one suffering? Every day for the past month, I've had to take sleeping medicine because if I don't, my head races with thoughts of you. I'm worried sick about you, and you won't even tell me what's wrong, Taemin-ah," he felt tears slide down his cheeks. "Why? I would be there for you no matter what." Taemin looked at Key, sniffling.

He didn't know what came over him, but he leaned towards Key and his lips crashed onto Key's. And there, there was sweet relief from his feelings, and what? What the was he doing? He jerked back, ashamed and disgusted and he just had to things up, didn't he? . Key was silent, his eyes wide, and his hand on his lips. 

Taemin knew it. He ing knew it and goddamn it, he felt his heart rip further, if that was possible. He could see the disgust in Key's eyes and he walked away, not knowing where he was going, but he needed to get out of there fast before he did something else he regretted. He slipped on his shoes and walked out the door, ignoring the other members, who were back from wherever they'd gone. None of them tried to go after the maknae, knowing that Taemin needed time to himself.

Key was so startled by the kiss he didn't even notice the other members, and didn't even flinch when Jonghyun thumped his forehead. He looked up with wide eyes at the other members. He didn't know what to think. Is that why Taemin had been so distant these past weeks? Oh . He had a problem. His feelings were so muddled, he didn't even know where to begin. Wasn't Taemin his adopted son? Was he gay? Did he like Taemin back? He liked that kiss, he realized, but that still got him nowhere. He was still entirely too confused about the situation.
 

~
 

Taemin wound up knocking on the front door to BEAST's dorm. Doojoon opened the door, about to ask what happened, when he noticed Taemin standing there, looking more defeated and saddened than anyone he'd ever seen. He ushered the boy inside, mindful of the paparazzi that were always lurking about. Dongwoon and Yoseob were sitting on the couch and smiled when they saw Taemin, but their smiles quickly fell when they really looked at Taemin. Kikwang, Junhyung, and Hyunseung stepped out of the kitchen to see who'd come in and saw Taemin. Hyunseung rushed forward, pulling Taemin into a hug when he noticed the tear streaks on the boy's face. He felt something wet hit his shirt and knew that Taemin was probably crying again. He brought Taemin to his room and sat down with Taemin.

Taemin broke down and told Hyunseung everything. Hyunseung sat there and listened to every word, offering his support by keeping his arm comfortably around Taemin. After Taemin got everything off his chest, he was surprisingly tired. Hyunseung laid Taemin down on his bed, and closed his door quietly, coming face to face with the rest of BEAST. They all had curious looks on their faces and Hyunseung sighed. Today was going to be a long day.

The SHINee members were nearly pulling their hair out when Taemin wasn't back by 11 pm. Minho was giving Key dirty looks the whole afternoon, which had not helped him in the least. God, he was such an idiot, he should have stopped Taemin, he should have--

    "Stop, Key-ah. You're only driving yourself crazy, doing that," Onew said gently. Key wasn't aware he'd said those things out loud. They heard the phone ring, and Minho eagerly jumped up to answer it.

    "Yeoboseyo? Ahh, okay Hyunseung-hyung. Yes, okay. Bye," Minho hung up the phone and turned to face the other SHINee members, resting on Key with a steely gaze.

    "Taemin-ah is at the BEAST dorm. Hyunseung said that he had been sleeping since early this afternoon, and that it would probably be a good idea for him to take a few days off. So Taemin-ah is going to be staying at the BEAST dorm for a couple of days," he reported. Key sighed in relief, because at least Taemin was safe, if not in his arms where he belonged, and where did a thought like that come from? He didn't know, and didn't particularly care at that moment. At least Taemin was safe.

Taemin ended up having a lot of fun hanging out with his hyungs at the BEAST dorm. The members knew that he was sad, and did their best to cheer him up. Dongwoon, Doojoon, and Yoseob played video games with him and would sometimes make him lose just to see him pout because when Taemin pouted he was ing adorable.

Kikwang and Junhyung practiced singing with Taemin, teaching him a few things that they'd learned, and Taemin learned how to rap a little from Junhyung. Hyunseung did the most, though. Hyunseung practiced dancing with SHINee's maknae, and taught him a few of BEAST'S dances. Taemin honestly had the most fun with Hyunseung and felt the most comfortable around him. He even smiled genuinely in Hyunseung's presence and when the time came that he had to go back to SHINee's dorm, he panicked.

When the rest of SHINee came to pick Taemin up, he clung to Hyunseung, begging him to not make him go back there because hyung knew how he felt and why he was scared to go back. Hyunseung felt bad for Taemin. He did know what it was like to have an unrequited love and seeing someone else in so much pain because of it was like reopening an old wound. He hugged Taemin and instinctively pecked him on the forehead. Taemin blushed and had to be pulled off of Hyunseung. He looked sadly back at Hyunseung, promising to visit the BEAST dorm more often.

Key was fairly angry and felt highly possessive of Taemin. He made sure he was sitting next to Taemin in the car, and rounded on him the minute the car pulled away from the curb.

    "Yah, Lee Taemin, did you have a good time? It sure seemed like you were cozy with Hyunseung-hyung,"he spat out bitterly. Taemin was initially surprised, then he was defensive and hurt.

    "Don't pretend to be so thrilled, hyung," Taemin said sarcastically. "Hyunseung-hyung has done a lot for me these past few days, and just because I'm gay doesn't mean I jumped him the first chance I got. I'm not like that, even if you think so. I don't care if you hate me for being gay, and I don't care if you think I'm a , I'm just tired of this bull." But the truth was that Taemin still cared very much. He cared so ing much and seeing the disgust in Key's eyes was so not helping him. Not at all.

Key was taken aback by the maknae's outburst. He didn't hate Taemin for being gay, and he certainly didn't think Taemin was a . He frowned. Taemin was that insecure? He opened his mouth to say something but Taemin beat him to it.

    "Save it, hyung. We're back. Home sweet home," Taemin muttered bitterly, before getting out of the car and zipping up to his room.

Taemin began spending his free days at the BEAST dorm, much to Key's annoyance and dismay. He hardly ever saw Taemin anymore, but when he did see Taemin, he had to grit his teeth. He was always with ing Hyunseung. Key still didn't know how he felt about the maknae, but he was damn sure he didn't like seeing Taemin acting all lovey-dovey with someone else and that was enough of a clarification for him.

The next free day Taemin and Key had together, Key dragged Taemin in the living room and sat him on the couch. He glared at the maknae and the maknae glared right back.

    "Look, Taemin-ah, I don't know exactly how I feel about you, but I don't hate you for being gay. I couldn't hate you for something so trivial, and I definitely don't think you're some sort of . I was..," he blushed uncharacteristically but took a breath and continued. "I was jealous of Hyunseung-hyung. I hate seeing you with him and when I see you with him, I wish it was me," Key took a breath and looked at Taemin, trying to gauge his reaction.

Taemin blanked his face carefully. Liar, liar pants on fire, was all he could think.

    "Liar," he finally said. Key blinked, surprised. "I saw the disgust in your eyes, hyung, you don't have to pretend not to hate me. It's okay, because really, I was the same way a couple of months ago. I was disgusted with myself for liking another man, but now... Hyungseung-hyung has helped me feel comfortable with that. He's helped me come to terms with it," Taemin finally looked up at Key, and smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes.

Key was stunned. Had there really been disgust in his gaze when he looked at Taemin? He didn't think so. More likely it was frustration because he didn't know how he felt. He never had any idea that the maknae was that insecure and he was suddenly very sorry for not talking to Taemin sooner. He felt guilty for causing Taemin any sort of pain. He swallowed back the tears that wanted to fall.

    "Then, if you don't believe my words, let me show you I'm not lying," Key said before leaning forward to capture Taemin's lips with his own. And this time, Key felt something other than shock. He had pleasant thoughts about the kiss, and he had butterflies in his stomach. He tried hard to portray those things in the kiss, and leaned back when he was gasping for breath. Taemin's eyes had closed at some point during the kiss and they fluttered open when the kiss ended. He'd felt emotion in that kiss, and then he knew that his hyung wasn't lying. He felt the previous months' wounds on his heart start to disappear. He wrapped his arms around his hyung and smiled.

    "Hyung, let's take this slow, okay?" Key wrapped his arms around his dongsaeng and sighed in relief.

    "Okay. We'll take this slow," he agreed.

The members came home from various schedules to find Taemin and Key cuddling on the couch and most of them sighed in relief.

Minho knew that the outcome was inevitable, but couldn't help feeling envious. The only thing he could do is stand there with open arms, waiting for the possibility that Key would one day take Taemin for granted. And he was pretty sure that would never happen.

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And there you are. -headdesk- fail ending. I know.

I hope you enjoyed reading this anyway. -bows- Kamsamnida.