Jonghyun was hurting. He used to be sure he was loved but lately... he wasn't. Minho wasn't an open person and Jonghyun knew that, but even still. Minho used to kiss him and hug him before when they were by themselves in the dorm. He never did any such thing now.

Jonghyun let out a choked sound when he came home and Minho was passed out on the couch. He rushed over and felt for a pulse. He was relieved when he felt a faint one. He saw Minho's chest moving up and down so he knew that he was breathing. Jonghyun was not angry right now. He could be angry when Minho was actually awake to hear.

Minho woke up and looked around. He didn't remember getting upstairs to his room. He looked next to his bed and saw Jonghyun in a chair and knew instantly what must have happened. He felt guilty for what he was about to do. He shifted and sat up, holding his hands to his temples to try to stop the splitting headache he had. He saw Jonghyun instantly jolt awake. The relief was evident in his eyes. But when he tried to kiss Minho, Minho shoved him back.

    "I can't do this. I'm sorry. It's wrong to lead you on when I'm not in love with you anymore," Minho felt more than saw Jonghyun's face crumple. He cringed and felt his heart breaking for Jonghyun. He was hurting for and with Jonghyun.

    "I expected this, Minho, it's okay," Jonghyun said thickly, trying to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to fall. And he was telling the truth. Some part of him expected this, and the longer Minho waited, the more hurt he became. He felt sick to his stomach and he felt faint. He took in gasps of air to try to feel better. He stumbled out of Minho's room only to run into the maknae. Taemin immediately wrapped his arms around his hyung, trying to make him feel better.

    "Hyung, come on, let's go to my room," Taemin half dragged Jonghyun to his shared room with Key. He sat next to Jonghyun and just wrapped his arms around his hyung, knowing that Jonghyun would tell him what was wrong on his own time. He heard Jonghyun take a deep shuddering breath.

    "Minho doesn't love me anymore," more tears slipped out of Jonghyun's eyes. Taemin's eyes widened, having never known that Jonghyun and Minho were in love in the first place. "We never told anyone because Minho's such a private person, and I understood that." The maknae just wiped the tears off Jonghyun's face.

    "Jonghyun-hyung, you'll be okay. You're a strong person," Taemin smiled softly. Jonghyun sighed and smiled back, though it was empty.

    "Thanks, Taemin-ah," he said and laid back on Taemin's bed. "Is it okay if I sleep in here tonight? I don't want to go back in there..." Jonghyun teared up.

    "Of course, hyung. You can sleep in here as long as you want," Taemin was quick to respond. The arrangement wound up being permanent.
 

~~~~~~~
 

A couple of weeks later, Taemin was cursing Minho in his head, wishing him ill 1000 times over. He knew how Jonghyun felt and still brought a girl back to the dorm? Unforgivable. He sent the nastiest glare he possibly could towards Minho and went with Jonghyun to their room.

    "Hyung, it'll be okay, shh. It'll be okay," Taemin soothed. They heard knocking on the door, and heard Key's voice on the other side of the door.

    "Yah, it's rude to leave when we have a guest," he said. Taemin sighed. No one else knew what had happened between Minho and Jonghyun, which was fine by Jonghyun.

    "Hyung, Jonghyun-hyung wasn't feeling well, so I took him to our room, I'm sorry," he said to Key. He heard Key open the door.

    "Oh, does he have a fever? Jonghyun-hyung, why didn't you tell me earlier? I could've given you something," Key nagged. Jonghyun started crying.

    "Because, Key-ah, no kind of medicine cures what's wrong with me," Taemin wrapped his arms around Jonghyun while Key frowned.

    "What happened? Tell me," Key demanded. Taemin shot him a dirty look.
    "Don't make him, hyung, please," Taemin asked.

    "No, it's okay, Taemin-ah. I think Key deserves to know. Me and Minho were in a relationship until a couple of weeks ago. He didn't love me anymore, so he broke up with me," Jonghyun closed his eyes. "And now, he's brought someone back to the dorm to flaunt in front of me."

    "Oh, that insensitive bastard," Key seethed. "See if I do his laundry or his cooking or anything for the next 2 weeks."

    "No, Key-ah. Don't punish him for something that really isn't his fault," Jonghyun said. Taemin expected this but Key was surprised.

    "Why not? He's being an insensitive right now," Key frowned deeper.

    "Because I want him to be happy, and if he's not happy with me, then so be it," Jonghyun smiled weakly. This made both Taemin and Key angry with Minho. He really was being insensitive by bringing someone else home. Taemin stayed with Jonghyun while Key went back outside. He gave Minho his angriest glare and harshly set down a plate of cookies.

    "Enjoy," he said harshly and left. The girl he was with looked surprised.
    "He's way more rude than I imagined," she whispered. Minho looked at her and sighed. He had a pretty good idea of why Key was being so rude. He smiled.

    "I'm sorry, I promise he's not that rude. He's probably just in a bad mood or something," he told her. He, truthfully, was starting to feel ashamed that he'd been in a relationship with another male. He took the girl's hand and led her upstairs to his and Key's room. Key was nowhere to be found. It was good for him. He kissed the girl and began taking her clothes off. Things progressed from there.

Jonghyun flinched when he heard moans coming from Minho's room. He tried hard not to cry, but when tears started to slip out of his eyes, he decided he couldn't handle it anymore. He reached over and grabbed his iPod, turning up the volume as high as it would go. He couldn't help but let out a choked, pathetic laugh as their song 'Forever or Never' started playing.

Taemin was furious. He didn't even have the decency to bring the girl to a hotel? He looked over when he heard Jonghyun choke out a laugh. He wondered what was funny, but didn't ask. He went over to his hyung's bed and hugged him tightly. He climbed next to Jonghyun and laid there, simply giving his hyung a hug. He knew Jonghyun probably needed one right then.

~~~~~~~~

The next morning, when everyone was finally sat at the table, Key sat a plate down in front of everyone but Minho. He was confused.

    "Key-hyung, did you forget someone?" he asked quietly, hoping that it wasn't what he thought it was. Key glared at him.

    "Make your own breakfast," Key said indifferently. Minho sighed in frustration.

    "Look, guys--," "Save it, hyung. You could've at least taken her to a hotel. We didn't want to hear all that last night," Taemin spoke coldly. Minho sighed, knowing Taemin had him there.

    "Guys, it's okay. Let him come in with whoever he pleases. As long as everyone else has something to distract them from the noise, I think it's fine," Jonghyun smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "After all, it makes you happy, doesn't it Minho?" Minho felt guilt starting to stain his conscience.

    "Uhh, yeah. I guess it does," he said and shifted uncomfortably. Everyone except Jonghyun was glaring at Minho.

Later that day, while they were practicing their dancing Jonghyun kept getting things wrong. No one said anything, and Jonghyun continually apologized. He couldn't help the tears of frustration that started to leak out when his ankle rolled and he fell. He grimaced in pain, and looked up to see a hand stuck out to him. Taemin was standing there, concern etched in his face.

    "Are you okay, hyung? That was the ankle you injured, wasn't it?" and Jonghyun realized with a start that it was.

    "Y-yeah, it was Taemin-ah," he took Taemin's hand, grimacing again as he stood up. He looked down to see his ankle starting to swell.

    "Okay, now can we get back to practicing, please? I don't want to be here any longer than necessary," Minho sighed and wiped his forehead off. Key punched Minho in the arm and shot him a nasty look.

    "Oops, sorry. My fist slipped," he said sarcastically. Minho just sighed and looked in the mirror at Jonghyun. He saw Jonghyun wince when he put his foot down.

    "Jonghyun, don't you think you should sit down? You're just gonna drag us down if you have to keep messing up." . That came out sounding way harsher than he thought it would. Jonghyun looked at Minho with a carefully blank face before limping off to sit down. He caught a punch in the jaw and saw Taemin standing there, looking furious.

    "You insensitive bastard. It'd be a wonder if you learn to keep your mouth shut when you're around Jonghyun-hyung, but I'd learn quick if I were you," even Key was surprised at Taemin's boldness. Minho was angry, but he didn't show it because he knew he deserved it. Taemin walked off and went to sit by Jonghyun. Key scoffed.

    "You deserved that one, buddy," Minho gritted his teeth.

    "You're not helping, hyung," he said, clenching his fists.

    "Too bad. You brought this on yourself when you decided to start being ashamed of your past with him," Minho was startled out his anger. Key knew? He shot a look at Key.

    "You know?" he asked, carefully. Key laughed.

    "Of course I know. It's so common, and you show a lot of signs, whether you realize it or not," Key looked at him with disdain apparent in his features. "It's digusting and embarrassing to see someone I know ashamed of love." Key looked over to the dance instructor. "Instructor-ssi, I think we should stop for the day. No one is really focused on dancing anymore." The instructor was disgruntled, but agreed.

Minho knew he didn't have any logical reason to feel the way he did, but he did. He was ashamed that he used to be in a relationship with another man. Key's words cut through him like a knife, and only made him more determined to try to bury his past.

He started bringing home a different girl every night of the week, and sometimes more than one. He was so busy with his own internal crisis that he never noticed Jonghyun getting paler and sicker.

Jonghyun felt sick to his stomach. He could never get the ing out of his head, even when his iPod wasn't on, or looking at Minho. He felt nauseous looking at food. Taemin frowned.

    "Hyung, why aren't you eating? This is your favorite, isn't it?" Jonghyun smiled weakly.

    "It is. I just don't feel well, is all Taemin-ah. I'll be fine," Key jumped up and felt of his forehead and frowned when he felt a warmness.

    "Hyung, if you were sick, why didn't you tell us? You've been pushing yourself too hard haven't you?" Jonghyun sighed. They didn't understand that he needed to be exhausted to sleep otherwise he would lie awake all night, hearing the moans over and over and over... He needed to be starving to eat because he'd throw up all the food he ate thinking about Minho and the numerous girls he ed.

    "I'll be fine, I promise," was all Jonghyun said before forcing himself to eat.

The next day, Jonghyun couldn't get out of bed without gasping at his achy joints. He was determined, and went to the kitchen to get some water, since he was thirsty. He didn't remember ever being so thirsty... He out before he even reached the kitchen.

He woke up to Taemin sitting there with a bowl of what appeared to be ice water and a rag. He coughed, signifying to Taemin that he was awake. Taemin turned worried and slightly tired eyes towards him.

    "Hyung, you shouldn't have gotten out of bed. You're really sick," Jonghyun couldn't help the chuckle that passed through his lips. 'I must be for still being in love with Minho even though he doesn't love me.' He thought idly. Taemin frowned.

    "I was worried, hyung. You've been out for nearly two days," Jonghyun stopped his thoughts at that. Nearly two days? Jonghyun frowned.

    "You mean to tell me that you've been here for nearly two days? Taemin-ah, you must be exhausted. Get some sleep, I feel loads better," Jonghyun lied. In fact, he still felt terrible, but he hated feeling like a burden.

    "You don't have to lie, hyung. I can tell by your face that you're lying," Taemin said rather blandly. Jonghyun sat up and sighed when he felt his joints ache.

    "Taemin, seriously. I feel better enough to fend for myself while you rest," Jonghyun said honestly. He did feel better enough to get things for himself. Taemin looked at him doubtfully, but gave in because he was exhausted.

    "Okay, hyung. But promise me you won't overdo it," Taemin flopped on his stomach on his bed and it wasn't five minutes before Jonghyun could hear the soft sighing noises coming from him.

Jonghyun got out of bed because he was really thirsty, and as soon as he stepped out of his room, he regretted it. Minho had just come from the shower and only had a towel around his waist. He looked surprised to see Jonghyun up and moving.

    "Hyung, how are you feeling?" he asked stupidly, not knowing what else to ask and feeling extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation. 'Like death warmed over' Jonghyun thought. He smiled weakly.

    "Much better thanks to Taemin's nursing," Jonghyun's eyes glazed over when he thought about all Taemin had done for him in the past couple of weeks. He was immensely grateful. He had the sudden urge to go and hug Taemin for all that he'd done for him. Taemin would probably appreciate it.

    "Well, I'm glad you're feeling better, hyung. Er, I better get back to my room," Minho finally said, after seeing Jonghyun standing there with a dopey, happy look on his face. And for some reason, Minho was jealous that he wasn't the reason why it was there.

~~~~~~~
 

The feeling that he was missing out on something nagged him for several weeks after the hallway meeting. Minho found that the girls that once satisfied him didn't anymore. None of them held appeal. He watched with jealousy (though he'd never admit it, not in a million years) as Taemin and Jonghyun grew even closer. He watched as Jonghyun became something like his old self again. He saw the lingering touches, and the whispers. He felt jealousy, guilt, and regret run through his veins as surely as blood. He couldn't get Jonghyun out of his head.

While Minho was having a horrible time, Jonghyun was having the time of his life. Taemin was helping him heal so much. After they shared their first kiss, he was hooked. Taemin was his own personal ray of sunshine, and Jonghyun loved it. Day by day, little by little, the hurt and pain Minho had caused flowed out of Jonghyun and soon it was nothing more than a distant memory.

Jonghyun smiled when he felt a pair of skinny arms wrap around his waist. They felt so warm, like they belonged there. And Jonghyun supposed that they did. He turned to find Taemin smiling softly.

    "Hyung, I love you," Taemin tightened his arms around Jonghyun. Jonghyun couldn't be happier. He kissed Taemin's lips softly and held Taemin tightly.

    "I love you too, Taemin-ah," he said dreamily.

Minho felt his heart break after hearing those words. The regret he felt over taking Jonghyun for granted and letting him go was overpowering. He slammed his fist in the door frame and left.
Jonghyun was startled when he realized that Minho had been standing in the doorway the entire time. He frowned. It didn't make sense that Minho was angry, since he wasn't in love with him anymore. He asked Taemin to wait there in the kitchen for him and went up to Minho and Key's room. He knocked before entering.

    "Minho-ah? Are you okay?" Jonghyun heard sniffles and felt bad that he'd upset Minho for some reason. "I'm sorry for upsetting you. I didn't mean to."

    "Of course you didn't," Minho said bitterly. He got up and walked over to Jonghyun. He couldn't handle anymore.

    "Hyung, I'm sorry for taking your love for granted. I took it for granted and I fell out of love with you. Then I started feeling ashamed of our past, and now I'm sorry, hyung, I'm really sorry, but I think I fell back in love with you. It hurts so much to see you loving someone else and being happy with them," Minho hugged Jonghyun tightly. Jonghyun didn't know what to think. He had finally gotten over Minho only to find that Minho had fallen back in love with him. And what was that about being ashamed? Jonghyun took a step back.

    "Minho-ah, if you were ashamed of us even for a short while, who's to say you won't be ashamed of us in the future? You hurt me really bad, Minho-ah, and Taemin helped nurse me back to myself. I fell in love with him along the way, and I'm sorry, but I don't love you as anything more than a dongsaeng now. I'm sorry for hurting you, Minho-ah," Jonghyun turned and left. Minho sobbed harder.

Jonghyun walked back in the kitchen in a daze. Minho had fallen back in love with him? He was amazed when he didn't feel anything more than sorrow for causing Minho pain. Taemin smiled, but it fell when he saw the look on Jonghyun's face.

    "Hyung? What's wrong with Minho-hyung?" Taemin asked. Jonghyun wrapped his arms around Taemin and smiled into his shoulder.

    "Minho-ah said he fell back in love with me," Jonghyun said quietly. Taemin gulped, feeling very insecure all of a sudden.

    "Do you love him back, hyung?" Taemin asked in a small voice. Jonghyun just chuckled.

    "No. I love you, silly maknae," Taemin beamed at his hyung. He leaned down slightly to place a kiss on Jonghyun's lips.

    "Let's go to the park," he said excitedly. Jonghyun couldn't help but laugh at the maknae's childishness and agree.

The next few months were insanely rough on Minho. He was constantly seeing the sickeningly sweet couple doing couple things. Sharing a milkshake. Cuddling on the couch watching a scary movie. Cooking together. He cried himself to sleep most nights.

If Key noticed, he didn't say anything. Since they started sharing a room, they'd grown much closer than they were before.anyay He apologized to Key for being rude all those months ago, and Key waved it off. Key was there, offering advice and support, albeit in a backhanded manner. It helped him get his mind off his broken heart some.

He started finding small things on his pillow before going to sleep at night, and he started smiling. A Hershey's almond kiss (his favorite, though he'd never told the other members), a small wood carving of Buddha, a necklace with the Chinese symbol for "strength" on it. He started looking forward to going to bed each night to see what sort of present he'd get.
One time, he found Key staring at all the things that he'd found on his pillow at various times.

    "Yah, what's all this?" he asked Minho interestedly. Minho smiled softly.

    "Someone's been doing that for ages. I don't know why, but I appreciate it," Minho laid in his bed and fell asleep without crying for the first time in weeks.

He woke up the next morning with Key in his face. He widened his eyes, the only sign he was startled.

    "You looked like you were in pain while you were asleep. I was about to wake you up," Key stood back, popping an almond Hershey kiss in his mouth. Minho's eyes instantly lit up.

    "Can I have a couple, hyung? Those are my favorite," Key smiled before tossing Minho some.

    "I know," Key said simply. And Minho began to wonder for the first time who was leaving small things on his pillow. The next night, he came in and found a bunch of Hershey's kisses in the shape of a heart with a note in the middle. He smiled and eagerly opened the note to read it.

'Minho
You're worth more to me than all the almond kisses in the world.
I hope you can accept this because I'm too damned shy to be forward about it. D8< It's frustrating.
I know, so un-divalike right? I thought so too. Deal with it.
Key'

And Minho thought that maybe, he could accept it. He chuckled. Even if Key was "too damned shy to be forward about it".

________________________________________________

Uhhh.... Not all of my oneshots will be so monstrously long. @_@ There are nearly 35OO words in this one. I was shocked at myself, since my oneshots usually tend to be 1OOO-15OO words.

Oh and kudos to those of you who recognize what the title is from. I couldn't get that song out of my head while I was writing it.

Haha, I couldn't resist the Minkey at the end. It's my OTP after all. ^.^

I apologize for the crappyness towards the end. I wrote this at like... 5 am my time and I was super tired but determined to finish it.

But I hope you guys enjoy this anyway. -bows- Until the next time my one-shot muse strikes.  ♥