언제나 꿈꿔왔던, 순간이 무너지고.
(The moment I've always dreamed about breaks down.)

The ebony haired boy turned, backpack securely fastened to his back, suitcase trailing idly behind him across the tiles with a clink, clink, clink.

“Woohyun, wait!” A pause; he'd faltered, but hadn't looked back.

“Don't go... Please... We can-. We can work something out, promise! Just please, don't. Don't go.”

And the footsteps continued until the faint tap, tap, tap faded into nothing.

Sunggyu felt his legs give out, falling onto the ground.

“Just. I'm can't say goodbye...” And the tears fell.

기억의 조각들; 한 순간이라도, 내게 힘이 되어 준 적이 있다면.

(The pieces of my memory; just one moment became strength to me.)

Sunggyu sat on floor, stationary, by the door to their – His, apartment. His hand found refuge in picking at a small spot on the little teddy bear that sat in his lap.

The eye'd become mutated, but it didn't occur to him as he stared at the same spot at the doorway, hoping, just hoping, that maybe Woohyun would come bursting in, “JUST KIDDING!”, slipping out of his mouth. And then Sunggyu would slap his arm, cry into his chest, and they'd go to bed together, legs tangled and breath mingling.

But he sat and sat and sat, nothing ever moving, no one ever knocking. And he let the memories play like an old film.

“Happy birthday, Woohyun!”

The boy sat faced with a gigantic chocolate cake on the table in front of him, lips stretched into a wide smile as the big '6' candle flickered and danced. He was surrounded by his closest friends who had happily joined him to celebrate his 6^th birthday. They'd run and jumped and played in the green park, splashing water from the fountain in the middle at each other until they were scolded by the parents.

And he blew out the candle, jumping excitedly in his seat, 'What'd you wish for?!'s reaching his ears from all directions as he eyed his mother carefully cutting the cake.

But he'd heard something that made his world pause; he heard sobbing. And looking up, he spotted a little boy sitting under the tree beside the sandpit, knees pulled into his chest and big fat tears being harshly wiped away by tiny little hands.

“Omma!” He suddenly called, halting his mother in cutting the cake.

“Yes, honey?”

“Omma, cut an extra piece of cake, ok?”

“What for, Woohyun? There's only 11 of us tod-” she paused, noticing Woohyun's eyes locked on the little boy at the sandpit. Her lips lifted in a small smile, “Okay, honey. I'll cut you an extra piece.”

And as soon as she put down the slice of cake, Woohyun jumped out of his seat and dashed across the grass, paper plate crinkling in the grasp of his hands.

---

A paper plate was into his face, held by two hands slightly larger than his own.

Sunggyu looked up, wiping his tears and nose with the sleeve of his shirt. His favourite shirt; the one his mother had bought for him just a week ago.

“Hi, my name's Woohyun! Would you like some cake?”

The boy's eyes shone brightly, tinkling with what could've been a galaxy within those brown orbs. He took Sunggyu's hand and forced his small fingers to grasp the plate and spoon instead of his own. “What's your name?”

“Sunggyu.”

“Okay. How old are you?”

“Seven and a half...”

“So your my hyung. Hyung, why are you crying over here by yourself? Isn't your mummy worried?

Sunggyu looked down at the cake and curled his fist around the plastic spoon, feeling the tears pour out again.

“OH MY GOSH! I didn't mean to make you cry, I just wanted to be your friend! And my mummy said that good friend's cheer up their friends when they're sad! Oh, I really didn't mean it Gyu-hyung! I'm really sorry!”

Sunggyu shook his head and rubbed at his puffy little eyes.

“My mum-. My mummy's in the hospital. And the doctors said she's not going to wake up again. Noona said she's not coming home.” He cried harder, remembering his older sister's words, her cheeks stained in tears and her eyes puffy and red and raw.

Little Woohyun pulled him into a hug, arms wrapped around his shoulders, “It's ok, hyung. Everything will be okay. I'll be here for you, so it'll be ok, right?”

Sunggyu smiled a little bit as he wiped his tears and wrapped his arms around the stranger; no, around Woohyun. “Yeah... It'll be okay...”


“You lied, Woohyun-ah. You said you'd be here... Why can't you be here; why can't you hold me? I need you...”

 

아무렇지 않게 TV를 보고
(I’d watch the TV like nothing happened.)

“That was so funny! Oh my gosh, did you guys see their faces when she punched their leader? Oh gosh, someone hold me!”

The laughter of his friends barely passed by him, but he felt himself smile just a little bit. They were great friends to him, spending time with him, watching movies, trying to distract him of thoughts about him.

Sunggyu could never be more thankful.

He laughed out loud as he looked at his two friends on the floor, clutching their stomachs from laughing at something on the TV; the sight itself was pretty hilarious.

“Guys, get off the ground, we're watching TV, not training to join a circus.
Actually, stay down there, you can help me clean the dust.”

And the boys jumped up off the ground, with Dongwoo continuing to glomp Sunggyu's arm.

The feeling of the body against his side brought with it some unwanted feelings. Emotions stirred within him as he felt his mind retelling those memories that he'd so wanted to bury.

날 안아주면 안돼요?
(Can't you hold me?”)

“Hyungggggg!!~”

Sunggyu had been attempting to bake a cake for his noona's birthday, which was to be the following day, when Woohyun had come along and attached himself to his arm, which kind of made baking a bit difficult.

He laughed, “What is it Woo?”

“Gyu, you're neglecting me! I'm bored, lets play!” Woohyun pouted, before smiling with crinkled eyes and reaching out to shove his finger into the bowl of strawberry batter for the cake.

“Yah! Not in there! That's for noona's birthday tomorrow! Let me finish baking first, then we'll play, okay?”

Woohyun just shifted his gaze to the floor and nodded his head as he on his finger, cleaning it of any batter that had been unlucky enough to get stuck to it.

“Okay, I'll wait here.”

And he wrapped his arm around Sunggyu's waist after the batter was all gone.


His figure sat by the glass window, peering out as the raindrops raced down his window pane. The light was off, and it was almost pitch black, the lighting flashing here and there.


“Can't you just...”
I miss his voice.

 

“Hold me...”
I miss his smile

 

“Just, please....”
I miss his touch

The thunder roared loudly, emptily; he felt it echo within his heart.


“Just come back home...”
Woohyun...

"I need you."