Obsessing Over You

Their first meeting was when Jinki was 6 and Taemin was 4.

At that time, he could remember how his small hands gripped the side of his father’s slightly worn-out jeans tightly that his knuckles went white. How his big eyes concentrated on a figure with a motherly and kind smile. How he liked that smile a lot, because it was the same smile his deceased mother would give him every day, no matter when and where. How he smiled shyly and blushed when he saw the silhouette of the younger boy who had a face of an angel with a smile sweeter than honey dew.

At that moment, he felt his young heart flying towards the boy.

I love you.

He thought he was the sunshine and rainbow that will appear after a storm. Existing in this world to make him feel better if anything bad ever happens to him.

“Jinki, go on. Go greet your new mother and brother.” His father ushered him with a smile and pushed him all the way to the front. He stood there, all awkward and shy, not knowing how to greet his step-mother and step-brother.

Minutes passed and he was about to open his mouth (he was still shy, but he was older so he must do it) but the little boy beat him to it by saying,

“Hi, hyung! I’m Taemin. Nice to meet you!” The young angel appeared in front of Jinki, beaming widely as he introduced himself to Jinki.

The older boy stayed silent for a short moment, opening his mouth with a big grin when he no longer felt shy, “Hi Taemin. From now onwards we are going to be brothers and I’m your hyung.”

“Yeah! I’m so happy that I have a big brother now!”

The boy–no, Taemin chirped like a chatterbox despite him being only a four year old little boy with limited vocabulary.

Perhaps what made him fall in love with him were his sweet like honey dew smile and the excited twinkle that always appeared in his beautiful brown orbs.

Or maybe it was his sweet yet bratty personality.

But either way, Jinki fell in love with Taemin. His sunshine and rainbow.

At that time, Jinki swore that he would protect Taemin from everything and love him unconditionally.

But he did the opposite instead.



Jinki’s blood boiled at the sight in front of him. It was Jongin, the shy sweetheart that took everyone’s heart with his surprisingly charismatic dancing, confessing to Taemin. His Taemin. How dare he.

He clenched his fist and gritted his teeth in distaste, it was only Taemin’s first year in high school and there are so many boys and girls confessing to him. Why are they doing this? Why do they want to snatch Taemin away from him?


Don't they understand why Taemin has never had a boyfriend or why his friends are always him, Kibum, Minho and Jonghyun? Don't they understand why all of Taemin's suitors and other friends ended up beaten into a pulp and then transferred schools or ignored him? And hadn’t Taemin learned his lesson to not let himself get a boyfriend? Was his letters, calls and stalking not enough?

Why is keeping Taemin to himself so difficult?

“Hey, Jinki!” A cheery and familiar voice of his best friend sounded as a hand fell on Jinki’s shoulder, making him turn around sharply with a murderous glare, scaring the blond that came up to him less.

“Oh, Kibum,” Jinki gasped, changing his facial expression into a goofy one in one split second, “Sorry, I was practicing – uhh, you know – the glare that Hwang Taekyung had when Minam always avoided him? Did it work?” He chirped with that fake goofy smile of his, always knowing that he can fool people easily as long as he smiled or acted like a child.

Kibum’s expression turned into a diva-like frown as he scoffed, “Oh puh-lease. You aren’t anywhere near Hwang Taekyung’s glare. Yours is too murderous. Cut out the act!” He babbled on and on about how Jinki could improve but the brunette became too occupied with glaring at Taemin and Jongin blushing at each other.

Jinki knew what was coming up later. The wrenching feelings in the guts are annoying him to no end.

They kissed.

“Hey, Kibum. I’m feeling a little unwell, tell the guys that I’m leaving early okay?” Jinki turned his heels and left towards the office for an early leave slip, ignoring his best friend’s shouts after him, only focusing on how he can vent his anger at home.

And how he can break them up.



“HYUNGS!” Taemin yelled loudly while running to their usual table, the whole cafeteria was silenced with his inhumanly loud yell. His said hyungs groaned at the loud squeal. “What now, Taem?” Jonghyun asked, while scarfing down his portion of seaweed soup with rice and kimchi hungrily.

“Ew, quit it you. You look like you haven’t had a decent meal for years long!” Kibum threw Jonghyun a distasted look and smacked his arm, then mumbled, “Tell me, why do I love you?”

“Because you just do.” Jonghyun winked at Kibum, who tried to fight back a blush with a scoff and busied himself with his food.

“Where’s Jinki-hyung?” The youngest boy ignored the two and came to a realization that his brother isn’t at the table eating chicken like he would die if he didn’t eat chicken for one day.

“Oh,” Kibum looked up from his food and swallowed before continuing, “Jinki’s unwell, so he left before the second period.”

Taemin had a surprised look on his face. “But, hyung hardly gets unwell.” A bad feeling was starting to form in his guts; something about Jinki’s sudden early leave had left him like that.

“Yeah, I know. But he did look like he had constipation or something. Oh yeah, why did you yell just now? Do you have anything to tell us?”

“O-Oh, no. Nothing much, you know, I just got too hyper of drinking too much banana milk.” Maybe I can tell them later. It won’t hurt if I told them a little later, Taemin thought otherwise.

“You silly kid, sit down. It’s weird when you are the only one standing when we are all sitting down.” Minho chuckled and reached out to pull his best friend to sit down next to him. But Taemin didn't want to follow Minho.

“Guys? I think I’ll just go back home and check on Jinki hyung. Bye.” Freeing himself out of Minho’s grasp, he ran towards the exit, ignoring his hyungs’ call. He needed to check on his hyung so that the bad feeling will disappear.



Jinki slammed the house door with a huge ‘bang!’. Autumn is working their way into the world, making the temperature cold, signaling the arrival of a chilly September. He shook the chill out of his body, and walked towards into his room that had a big ‘DO NOT ENTER’ sign on the door. He fished out a key from his back pocket and unlocked his room door. One thing that he does to make sure his parents and Taemin suddenly barging into his room is to keep his room locked all the time and all it took was to convince his parents to give him personal space and his room key without duplicating it.

With a tired and frustrated sigh, he threw his school bag to the corner of his room and plopped down onto his bed. His room is dimly lighted with curtains draw closed to never let the sunlight in. On his walls were numerous pictures, one may think that he had a hobby of taking photos at first but when they take a closer look, they will think otherwise; because those pictures are taken with Taemin in it. At a small part of his wall, next to his windows, were pictures of people with a big and red ‘X’ on it; those pictures were the people Jinki would have to risk climbing out of bed at unearthly hours to warn them not to get closer to Taemin.

Jinki stood up suddenly and walked towards his desk. Numerous letters sprawled on his table, written in red and black. Majority of them were to be sent to Taemin anonymously (of course) and the minority would be sent to those who wanted to get close to Taemin.

He had sneaked a lot of letters like those into their letter box, because it was Taemin’s job to get the letters and newspaper every morning. And he could always volunteer himself to get the letters and newspapers if their parents suddenly decided to get the said items instead to avoid a big mess and nuisance upon them finding out that Taemin has a stalker.

Maybe it was time for him to write a letter to Taemin and Jongin.

He got to work quickly, but what he didn’t expect was Taemin leaving school after he did and barging into his room.


He had forgotten to lock the door.



Taemin’s pale fingers gripped the hem of his light-brown sweater’s sleeve tightly. He hated the bad feeling in his gut; because it was the exact same feeling he got before his friends and suitors left and ignored him the next day in school. He was afraid that his Jinki-hyung would get hurt because of his stalker.

His stomach did a flip-flop and his face paled. Having a stalker is something he would like to have last on his list.

He had forgotten when his stalker started to send him letters (friendly ones, at first) and occasional gifts (apparently, the stalker knows what he likes the most and the gifts turns out to be the things he wanted the most but couldn’t afford to get), but it became scarier as time passed and as he had many more friends.

The first incident (to Taemin actually, there were many more but he didn’t know) that got Taemin scarred was when he was in his last year in middle school, he had a friend that he was extremely close with; they were like brothers at a point.

He was extremely good at soccer, the best even, and people already predicted that he could make it into the national soccer team. But his stalker became jealous, Taemin had given a guess, and decided to threaten his best friend to leave him alone through a few threatening letters written in red. But none of them paid any heed to those letters until the next few days his friend was admitted to the hospital.

Taemin trembled at the memory; it was extremely horrible for him. It was just at the junction where they bid their goodbyes with a bro hug and a playful bump and the next thing he knew, his friend was pulled by a stranger clad in black into an alleyway and Taemin could only watch in shock and horror as the stranger broke his both of his legs and smashed his head with a brick, giving him an extremely big and bloody gash at the back of his head.

As he rushed to save his best friend, the stranger voiced out with a tone colder and icier than ice, “You should know what is best for you if you stay away from people other than your usual group of friends. You know what I mean?”

Taemin shook his head, now with lots and lots of tears running down his face, thinking that it’s best if he gave a little response as he fumbled for his phone to call the ambulance to safe his friend.

“Lee Jinki, Kim Kibum, Choi Minho and Kim Jonghyun. Any other than these four, that person will suffer.”

With that, the stranger left Taemin in the alleyway, waiting for help to arrive like a helpless puppy.

In the end, his friend did not survive. The ambulance took too long and he lost too much blood.

Taemin hadn’t realized he was crying until he saw his reflection on his house window. “Oh, I’ve arrived home…” He sniffed, using his sleeve to wipe off his tears hastily. All it mattered now is his beloved Jinki-hyung.

Quietly opening the house door, he zoomed up to the second floor quickly and tried to barge into Jinki’s room. To his surprise, it wasn’t locked like how he supposed it to be like always.

He never understood why Jinki always locked his room door, he always wanted to see what he hides in his room, but now he knew and he wished he hadn’t.

“H-Hyung…? What is this?” Taemin had his eyes widen big in a mixture of shock, fear and horror, his question came out in a hushed tone. The pictures all over the wall, the letters on the table; Taemin knew all too well. He used to get the same and exact things he sees in this very room. “You…are my stalker a-all these years?” He asked with tears brimming in his eyes, despite knowing the truth in right in front of his eyes. This must be a dream, he thought, I need to wake up. “So you were the one that k-killed…Lu-Luhan?”

Jinki wordlessly stood up, his eyes icy cold, unlike the pair of warm dark brown eyes Taemin likes. “Yes, I am your stalker and I indeed killed him.” He confirmed Taemin’s suspicion, making the younger’s blood run cold.

“Why…?” The boy choked out, “YOU KNEW HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!”

Silence filled the air, adding onto the tension between the two step-siblings.

“Because I love you.” Jinki quietly said, turning back slightly to grab something Taemin recognizes as a…knife? “They are all snatching you away from me. I can’t let that happen.”

“This isn’t love hyung. Not anymore.”

Taemin imediately backed out of Jinki’s room and ran towards his room and locked his door. His eyes are already leaking as he fumbled for his phone, quickly searching for Jongin, Kibum, Minho, Jonghyun or whoever’s contact number. He needs someone to safe him. The feeling when he witnessed his best friend dying in front of him and he was the reason of his death came back to him.

Help! He cries in his heart again and again as he pressed his thumb on Jongin’s phone number, pressing the electronic device close to his ear, his heart pounding quickly as a contrast to the slow beeping coming from the phone.

“Jongin…please pick up. Please.” Taemin was hysterical already. Jinki couldn’t be in love with him. That’s impossible. No, this can’t be. Someone save me out of this nightmare! God, why are you doing this to me? The brunette slid down onto the floor, the phone still beeping slowly next to his ears.

He choked back a surprised sob when he heard three knuckles gently knocking on the door and the voice coaxing him to open the door.

“No…” He can’t let Jinki in. Taemin quickly got up to his feet and ran to his small cabinet, pushing it to his door and blocking the door for a while.

At this time, he swore Jongin’s voice was never that lovely before. “Hello? Taeminnie? What’s wrong?”

“Jongin! Save me! Come to my house now, bring whoever you can! Police or whoever you can; Kibum hyung, Jjong hyung or even Minho hyung! Just come to my house and save me… Save me from Jinki-hyung. Quick! He’s going to kill me now! He has a knife!!!”  The pounding became louder and louder, and Taemin’s voice became more and more hysterical than before.

 “…Okay, I’ll arrive at your house in fifteen minutes. Wait for me, Minnie. I’ll come for you. Promise.” At the other line, Taemin could picture Jongin’s confused and puzzled face as he listens to his boyfriend ramble but nevertheless listens to his commands. Then the line cuts off.

Taemin fell onto his knees and cries his heart out as he crawls into a ball into the middle of his well-furnished bedroom. In between of his loud sobs, he hears the pounding on the door ceasing into nothing then footsteps walking towards another direction. His sobs ceased a little, and then he looked at his periwinkle ceiling with a dazed face.

“Why is all of this so complicated? Wh-” Taemin didn’t finish his sentence, because he screamed in horror. An axe created a crack on his bedroom door.

“NO! HYUNG, PLEASE STOP!” He yelled on top of his lungs, in a shrilly and fear-filled voice. Taemin got up, his legs buckling with fear as he made his way towards his window, hands shaking tremendously as he opened his window. He only had one choice. It’s either him dying in Jinki’s hands or he jumps out of this window.

Jinki on the other side of the door said nothing but continued to chop the door down. He ignored Taemin’s cries, only focusing on bringing the door down. He needs to With his final strike to the door, there was a hole big enough for him to take the door down. He got into Taemin’s room but was greeted with Taemin looking at him with his tear-streaked face by his window, ready to jump down.

Jinki gasped in horror, the axe in his hands fell onto the tiled floor. “No! Don’t jump!”

That was all Taemin heard from before he felt his body collide onto the hard concrete ground.



Now, Taemin really felt like a lost puppy. It all had happened too fast.

Just a few moments ago, he jumped out of his window and ended up with a broken leg and bruised forehead.

But…why is it that Jinki is currently on his lap with a bloody head? Why is there so much blood on Jinki? Why are there so many people around them? Why is Jinki acting like he was going to die?

He remembers crossing the road and hearing a horn blare, and he prepared himself for the expected impact. But it never came.

Instead, he was pushed and collapsed onto the ground as Jinki collided with the truck, flying a few feet away while his blood painted the road a ghastly crimson red.

“Tae…min…” Jinki’s voice was barely a whisper, “I’m sorry...” A lone tear fell out of his eyes as he tried his best to not choke on the red, metallic substance forming in his mouth, clashing with his tastebuds. “I’m sorry Taemin-ah. Hyung has hurt you. Forgive me... forgive hyung for causing you so much pain–”

Taemin was crying uncontrollably, covering Jinki’s mouth to stop him from speaking anymore. But Jinki didn’t heed his beloved brother’s silent command.  

“–and now, you won’t need to feel any more pain. Because I took it for you.” Jinki tried to smile, but he coughed out blood instead. He could see Taemin’s eyes widening and he sees him shout in his ear, yet, he can’t hear anything Taemin says. He feels so sleepy and he sees a white light not far away from him too. 

“Taemin…” he calls as he held Taemin’s hand, “I love you…”

“No hyung, no!” Taemin sobs but Jinki still can’t hear him, “I love you too. Don’t leave me… You promised that you won't leave me.” He shakes Jinki’s shoulders but the older boy couldn’t stay awake for long, he is too sleepy. The white light seems to be calling out to him that it is becoming so tempting that he went to it immediately.

He didn’t know that he left Taemin crying as he desperately tried to bring him back to life, although the younger boy knew his actions were futile. He didn’t know that he left his parents and friends grieving over his death.

He didn’t know that Taemin loves him just like how he did.

He didn’t even know that he had passed away just like that not knowing anything.



“Jongin, can I be honest with you?” Taemin sat on the bench in the park he used to go and play at with Jinki when they were still young. Jongin looked at him for a moment, and nodded. The park is quiet; it was late in the evening, just a few hours after Jinki’s death. They had just got back from the hospital; it was a tiring day for Taemin. But he didn’t want to go back home and insisted on coming to the park, Jongin offered to accompany him.

“I loved Jinki-hyung.” Was all Taemin said.

Jongin nodded again, “I know.” Taemin looked at him with grieve-filled eyes. “Say, was it my fault that he has become into a bad person?”

“No,” came Jongin’s short reply. “He chose this on himself. It wasn’t your fault at all.”

“If I told him I love him, would this still happen?”



“He loves you, Taem. He loves you. He will still do all of this to keep you to himself.”

Silence falls on the pair; they averted their gaze from each other to the sky, which now is starting to change slowly from the orange and red streaks across the sky to the dark blue sky decorated with beautiful stars. Taemin decides that he likes this type of silence; it’s pleasant.

“Aren’t you mad?” He finally asks, breaking the pleasant silence.

“Why should I?” Jongin’s looks at him with his eyebrow raised in confusion.

“I just said I love Jinki-hyung.”


“Why aren’t you mad?

“…” Jongin keeps quiet. “I shouldn’t be.”


“Because, it’s so ing cliché. I like another person too. I want him to be jealous that I could move on quicker than him.”

“I see,” Taemin nods then chuckles dryly, “You are like me, huh? You wanted to make that guy jealous; I’m trying to forget Jinki-hyung.”

“No wonder I find you as my best friend so quickly on the first day.” Jongin laughed, Taemin followed after him.

“But I did like you, do you know that?”

“Yeah. I did like you too. That’s why we kissed, didn’t we?” Jongin winked at Taemin, which the latter scoffed and made a face at him.

“So, friends forever?” He brought his left fist up and Jongin connects his fist with Taemin’s immediately with a playful smirk. “Yeah, friends forever.”

“I love you, bestie.”

“Of course. I love me too.”

“Conceited jerk.”

“Brat. Shut up.”



Their first meeting was when Jinki was 6 and Taemin was 4.

At that time, he could remember how he looked at the man standing up tall in front of his mother and the shy brown haired boy gripping his slightly worn out jeans so tight that his knuckles went white. How he liked the smile on the man’s face because it was so loving and kind and it was as if he was looking at his real father, not his imaginary father that passed away before he was even born. How he stared at the tint of pink that spread across the older boy’s face with his heart starting to beat slightly faster.

At that moment, he felt his young heart flying towards the older boy.

I love you.

He thought that he was sunshine and rainbow that will appear after a storm. Existing in this world to make him feel better if anything bad ever happens to him.

“Jinki, go on. Go greet your new mother and brother.” He heard the man usher the boy he now knows called Jinki with a smile and pushed him all the way to the front. He stood there, all awkward and shy, Taemin didn’t know how to describe the cuteness the older boy was showing.

Minutes passed and the older boy had yet opened his mouth to speak, so Taemin took the initiative to do it instead.

“Hi, hyung! I’m Taemin. Nice to meet you!” He appeared in front of the older, beaming widely as he introduced himself to him.

The older boy stayed silent for a short moment, opening his mouth with a big grin when he no longer felt shy, “Hi Taemin. From now onwards we are going to be brothers and I’m your hyung.”

“Yeah! I’m so happy that I have a big brother now!”

He has limited vocabulary, he knows that, but hey, he is happy. Nothing keeps him from shutting up, nothing.

Perhaps what made him fall in love with him were his smile and the carefree twinkle that always appeared in his beautiful brown orbs.

Or maybe it was his mature yet goofy personality.

But either way, Taemin fell in love with Jinki. His sunshine and rainbow.

At that time, Taemin swore that he would make Jinki happy and never make him sad.

But he did the opposite instead.

“I love you, hyung. Rest in peace.” He lands a kiss onto Jinki’s cold, pallid cheeks before Jongin pulls him away from the body ready to be cremated.


A/N: Ouch, my heart hurts. Listening to Yiruma is just adding onto the pain. And this made no utter sense, I know. /sobs Oh, and the 8 subbers! I thank you so much, let me love you down. ; A ; /showers you all with my infinite love


Like this story? Give it an Upvote! Thank you!

Comments (9)

You must be logged in to comment
jessicamaylee #1
hi i love this story
do you mind if i put it up in my recommendation book?
Chapter 1: Oh NO why did Onew die
Chapter 1: QQ.
So Tae loved Onew all this time? D:
asdfvff D:
PrincessLime37 #4
Chapter 1: I cried reading this.. So sad.. TT.TT
Chapter 1: TT.TT Oneww *sniffs*..
please keep writing! this was simply amazing!
[deactivated] #6
Wow so scary but cool. I like Taemin I think (though I do not really know who he is) he DOES sound very innocent, though. Keep Up!

[deactivated] #7
Wow, this is a nice one~ Never was one for shinee pairings... guy pairings in general really, but this.. this was awesome... I wonder how it would've been as a full length story... anyways, keep up the good work~ ^^d
des2bfree #8
Chapter 1: WHY WHY.....YOU LET ONEW DIE SOB...SOB...SOB I LOVE ONTAE,but it still good story even with sad ending....i hope when u make another story you will end it with hapy ending....however tq for ur story
parang-96 #9
Chapter 1: Ahhh author your story was just......*sobs* why did jinki become a maniac and worse why did he have to die :( idk how to feel for this ontae it's just too sadddddddd. And it's really weird esp after watching shinee's wonderful day and jinki's so happy and all. Author I love your writing; when I read ff and it's all rubbish grammar and spelling I automatically assume the story is crap. You're really good!:) write more okay!:)