“Aaahhh!!! Get off of me, hyung!!” Kyuhyun yelled as he squirmed around in the snow.

“No way!! Now give me that carrot!!” Siwon continued to tickle Kyuhyun, delighting in the sounds of his giggles.

“I want to put it on the snowman!!”

“Okay, fine. You win.” And with that, Siwon released his grip on Kyuhyun.

The younger male stood up quickly and dusted the little snowflakes off his jacket, too absorbed to notice that his lover was slowly creeping up towards him.

“Got it!!” Siwon snatched the carrot away from Kyuhyun and waved it in the air. He ran around, lifting his knees high up to avoid getting caught in the blanket of snow.

Kyuhyun stumbled after the older, “Hey!!” He desperately tried to keep up with the other, but to no avail.

Siwon stuck the carrot straight into the middle of the gigantic snowman’s face. “There, all done,” he wiped his hands and smiled to himself, before turning back to see a very exhausted Kyuhyun panting behind him.

The younger boy looked up, his cheeks red from both the cold and his tiring chase. “It’s crooked,” he pointed out, pouting slightly as he walked towards the sculpture and adjusted the carrot.

Siwon simply crossed his arms and stared at Kyuhyun, absorbing every single detail of his lover standing before him;

The way his eyebrows furrowed when he arranged the carrot back into his desired position.

The expression woven deep into the soul of his eyes, as he concentrated solely on the work in front of him.

And the little smile that carved his lips, when he stood back and stared at the marvelous creation in front of him.

Siwon could stare at his beauty for ages– hell, he could stare at it forever– and still not find the answer as to why his lover was so perfect.

“What?” Kyuhyun asked, breaking the elder’s reverie.

“Nothing,” Siwon shook his head subtly, realizing that he had been staring at the other for too long. Slowly, he walked over to Kyuhyun, placing his palms over the younger’s shoulders and gripping onto him tightly. “You’re just… so perfect, you know?”

As his words left his lips, he noticed the little smile broadening on Kyuhyun’s lips.

And Kyuhyun could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks once again, warming his skin as he turned a bright red. “Stop being cheesy, hyung,” he ducked his head down as he muttered.

“But it’s true,” Siwon retorted, using his index finger to hold the other’s chin up.

And for a while, it stayed like that.

No words were exchanged; no movements at all.

The two simply stood still, lost in each other’s eyes– their dark brown orbs a reflection of each other’s emotions.

Love was hidden so deeply inside the rich colour of their eyes, that it was nearly impossible to point out its existence.

Yet, the couple could figure it out so easily.

And like magic, they could read each other’s thoughts– instantly bringing their faces forward and closing their eyes.

Their fingers gradually interlocked; their lips quivering slightly from the cold; the cool air that left their mouths as they breathed heavily–

“THUMP!!” a soft crash broke the two’s heaven almost immediately.

They quickly pulled apart, shock at the sudden noise.

Looking back, the couple slowly surveyed their surroundings, searching for any intruder.

And there stood their once-beautiful snowman. It’s twig arms and old buttons still perfectly in place, but with it’s head completely decapitated and squashed on the ground.

Sitting on top of the mutilating head, was a large branch that seemed to have fallen off the tree above the snowman.

And Kyuhyun’s beloved carrot was found to be broken.

Siwon turned to stare at the younger, who had his mouth agape in horror at the scene in front of him.

“My carrot!!” The younger hollered as he stomped on the ground, “it took me ages to find the perfect one!!”

“Well, it seems like you’ll need to find yourself a better carrot,” Siwon smirked, before bursting out into laughter.

Kyuhyun gritted his teeth, before whacking his lover hard on the back of his head.

“Ouch!! Hey!!”

And with that, the two spent the rest of their day hitting and chasing each other, with the occasional throw of a snowball or two.

~~~

Kyuhyun knelt down on the cold pile of snow underneath him.

It felt more like hard coal to him, though.

The small snowflakes looked almost like dust, and the smoke from the nearby factory had stained the beauty around him with a dark, ugly shade of grey.

He looked around in disgust, trying his very best to ignore the presence of dirt and filth around him.

Kyuhyun could hear the faint echoes of a familiar Christmas carol from the distant city.

He sighed.

Somewhere far away, a family was roasting a turkey in the oven, singing songs and dancing together.

Somewhere far away, a couple was cuddling on a couch, embracing each other in their warmth.

Somewhere far away, children were having a snowball fight, laughing and chasing each other.

And somewhere far away, Siwon was waiting– simply waiting.

Kyuhyun stared at the large stone in front of him. It had taken him painstaking hours to actually gather up enough courage to drag himself to this place.

But now, he seemed to be regretting it.

He remained silent and still for moments, minutes, hours.

Kyuhyun couldn’t bring himself to read the words that were carved deeply into the stone.

He couldn’t.

No, it was wrong.

This was all wrong.

He shouldn’t be here.

It was Christmas, after all.

He should be somewhere else– probably in the bakery, yes. His boss definitely needed him during this crowded season.

Or he should be at home, watching a Christmas tale that repeated itself over and over again on that same particular channel– the only channel he could afford to pay for– on that rotten, old piece of junk that called itself a television set.

Yes, Kyuhyun shouldn’t be here.

Something bad was going to happen– he could tell.

But yet, the boy didn’t seem to care.

Or at least, that was what he told himself.

The truth was, Kyuhyun cared.

He cared way too much.

And that was why he had let his guard down.

Right then, he still couldn’t let it go.

It was the reason behind many sleepless nights.

It was the trigger for the constant tears that streamed down his cheeks.

And today was no different.

Kyuhyun threw his head back as he succumbed to the overwhelming feelings that invaded his weak and sensitive heart.

Once again, he let his tears fall.

But, it wasn’t like the soft and delicate crying that he had done everyday as he laid down on his bed.

This time, it was more like a loud and piercing scream.

He flung his arms around frantically, wailing and tearing at the air around him.

He was right.

He shouldn’t have been here.

This place was all too familiar.

Kyuhyun could remember the pain, the shivering, the lingering cries of others and worse of all, the numbness that overcame his heart.

He could remember everything.

And as time passed, Kyuhyun found himself recollecting the broken memories that were left in this miserable, haunting cemetery.

~~~

“Go on honey…. he really wanted you to be by his side,” Mrs Choi, Siwon’s mother, nudged the young boy, crystal-like tears b at the rim of her eyes.

A few blocks away, the cheers and laughter– that were somewhat like a declaration of the start of Christmas– were dying away.

The sky was darkening and the wind was blowing strong.

Kyuhyun fumbled with his fingers, his flesh constantly poking the thorns on the white rose that he was holding.

He nodded his head subtly, his teeth chattering from the cold around him.

Moments passed, and Kyuhyun gradually got up from his seat. He picked at the petals of the flower in his hands, deforming it a little bit.

The people around him pretended not to notice the dried blood on his lips, which had cracked from the freezing temperature.

And Kyuhyun himself, pretended not to notice the skin that had peeled off his fingers, a result of him not wearing any gloves.

As the boy neared the grand, wooden coffin that was placed on the centre of the table, he could feel his bones rattling against his skin– almost as if to warn him; to tell him to turn back, because he wasn’t ready to see this.

Nevertheless, the boy ignored his brain’s constant plea to run away.

No, he had to stay.

He had to see it for himself.

Because he didn’t believe the rest.

He didn’t trust their words.

They were wrong.

Siwon was very much alive.

Wasn’t he?

“S-Siwon hyung?” Kyuhyun whispered, his breath forming little clouds of mist in front of him.

Nothing.

“Siwon hyung?” Kyuhyun tried again, firmer and louder this time.

Nothing.

~~~

Kyuhyun shook his head violently, trying to rid himself of the memory of Siwon’s funeral.

His screams gradually grew louder and crazier.

He had lost his composure; his control.

“SIWON HYUNG!! YOU LEFT ME!!” Kyuhyun shrieked, the reality of it all finally sinking into him.

Hours passed as the boy continued to wail and throw himself against the stone in front of him.

Only when the first of the small hail pieces had hit him, did Kyuhyun actually try to calm down.

And soon, the little storm had turned into a full-scale blizzard.

Kyuhyun was left sitting in the middle of the graveyard, his vision blinded by the abundance of white in front of him.

He clutched Siwon’s tombstone frantically, gasping as his cries slowly died down.

He used his fingers– which were now frozen and numb, under his black gloves– to brush away the bits of hail that had landed on the tombstone.

“It had been like this for a whole year, hyung…” Kyuhyun shivered, desperately trying to get his words out.

Siwon needed to hear him.

“And… and I really thought I could get over it,” Kyuhyun rubbed his nose, “but I was w-wrong…. I couldn’t get over you… No, I couldn’t. Because I loved you too much, hyung…. I s-still love you…. And I don’t want to stay here anymore, I want to be w-with you….”

Kyuhyun was shivering now.

His body was shaking chaotically and he couldn’t feel or move his toes.

His movements were slowing greatly; his muscles frozen and his tissues dead from the cold weather.

Before he lost all ability to move his fingers as well, Kyuhyun hurriedly fiddled with his jacket pocket.

And he retrieved the bottle that he had hidden.

Sleeping pills.

That was all he needed.

He sat with the bottle cradled in his hands, staring at the tombstone in front of him.

He had said his final words.

And his life was complete.

Truth was, his life was complete one year ago– the moment the coffin was lowered into the deep, hollow pit.

So, Kyuhyun sought no reason to live any longer.

With that, he swallowed the pills, emptying the contents of the bottle down his mouth.

His eyes never left the tombstone, or should he say, the words engraved onto the tombstone.

“Here lies Choi Siwon.
An amazing friend, son, and lover.
May you rest in peace.”

Yes, his lover was resting in peace.

And Kyuhyun was going to join him.

As he felt the drowsiness take over him, he slowly closed his eyes.

Just before he completely out, he swore, he swore, he could see Siwon at a distance. And Siwon turned around to smile at him.

It was a comforting smile, almost as if to say, “Come with me. We’ll be together again. I’ll take you to paradise.”

“Merry Christmas, hyung,” Kyuhyun heard himself whisper as he smiled back.

And then, he fell into an eternal slumber.

~~~

 AUTHOR'S NOTE 
This isn’t the end, don’t worry.
I’m making an epilogue for this.
Because I DEFINITELY can’t end it here, right?
I mean, it’s Christmas after all.
They deserve a happier ending lol ^^