xara10, I really hope that you'll like it.  /crosses fingers.

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Seunghyun, let’s stop this. Let’s end this. I can’t… I can’t take it anymore. It’s so hard, so hard to live up to their expectations. I’ll never be good enough for you. I’m not pretty enough…not y enough… not talented enough… unlike Bom. The fans… they like her for you… or Kiko, not me.  I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough! He wants to reach her, to hold her hands, to kiss her every tear away but he just stood there, steady and staring.  He wants to tell her that there’s no need to be insecure, to be broken because what matters is her and him; that she doesn't need to be good enough for them for she's more than enough for him. The fans’ opinions wouldn’t change what he sees in her – a beautiful woman in any and every way yet they matters the most to her. She lets them get in her way. She lets them scar her, break her that left her shattered into pieces. Faith, that’s what he wants from her. Have faith on him, he would always say. Just believe on him, believe in his every word. She’s the most beautiful to him. And he loves her… every inch of her.

Where have you been? You went to her! Tell me. You did, right? What can I do so I could be good enough for you? Is she a good kisser? Is she good in bed? Tell me how good she is! Tell me! I knew it! Even you think that I’m not worthy for you. Just how much should I give? Just how much should I suffer more? I don’t think I can endure anymore of this! I’m tired, I feel like giving up. This is too much for me to take. He saw himself standing before her, slapping her. And he gasped. That’s not him. He wouldn’t get drunk and try to hurt her, and yet that man, who he believes that he’s not, managed to. I’m tired of you accusing me of something which I never did. How can you just accuse me like that! Do you think I would go into another woman’s bed and slept with her? Don’t accuse me of something which you do! Don’t you think I wouldn’t know about you and Jiyong? ! Don’t think of me as an ignorant and idiotic man! I have my sources! So… that is the reason why you’re being so damn hard. You want me to break things off with you so you could finally crawl into his bed, huh? This is the reason on why you’re trying to push me away to another woman! Guess what! I could be with another woman right now and make her scream her lungs out with me on top of her but yet I didn’t do it. Want to know why? - Because I thought of this cheater waiting for me to come home. I was on the 2^nd base already, ! And yet I stopped and still went home to you. this brain of mine! What is it thinking? He watched them hurting each other, slapping, pushing. He just watches them for he can’t move and stayed rooted on his spot. They hurt each other until Dara can’t take it anymore and cried her hearts out. Soon, Seunghyun began trembling, mad at his self for hurting the girl he loves so much. Trying to let out all of his frustrations, He punched the wall until his hands bled. Not feeling contented, he slaps his face, hard. - Left and right. Then he broke down and cried. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean everything that I said. Please… Baby, please help me save our relationship.

He became paralyzed on his feet as he drowns onto the scene of his girlfriend and his friend making out on the very same couch that they usually cuddle on when watching a movie. Slapping of tongues and swapping of saliva can be heard. He stood there in front of them yet they’re too busy to notice or to even care. Her moan woke him in his trance and all he could see his black. He trashed everything inside their living room. He threw the vases, flipped the table, and soon landed a punch on his so-called-friend’s face. She tried to stop him from hurting him but she’s too weak. She’s getting worried for Jiyong as she saw his bleeding and almost unrecognizable face due to Seunghyun’s punches. She tried to holdd his arm but he just swatted her away that made her thrown on the floor. She yelped when her skin made contact with the broken glasses. And that’s when Seunghyun stopped.

I’m leaving. Let’s break up.  This would do well for the both of us. He stiffened as her words registered inside his mind. She’s leaving? Then he felt all the air inside his body gushed out. His mouth dries as he pleads for her to stay. Don’t go. Don’t leave me. Please… I’ll do anything. He chokes on his cries as he got down on both of his knees, begging. He hugged her legs tight, not wanting to let go. Please. I love you. Stay with me. He continues to beg but she just ignored him, shaking him off. He shook his head. No. Still, she pushed him away, giving him no mercy. Dara, once you’ll walk out that door, there’s no home for you to come back, understood? She just shrugged her shoulders. I won’t take you back again. I won’t… so I’m giving you another chance while I’m still being patient with you. Dara! Dara! He tried so hard to make her stay. He did but failed, she still walked out the door. She walked out from his life. Stay.

He woke up panting, eyes b with tears.

Those painful memories are still vivid on his mind. It’s scary being scarred by her. He doesn’t want to remember it. He doesn’t want to remember her. He tried so hard to put it on the very back of his mind but still it haunts him. It scarred him so bad that even in his dreams she’s still there; experiencing those were bad enough, but reliving every single pain every time is like experiencing death over and over again.

He keeps on staring. His eyes hallow and empty just like how he feels. He is incomplete without her. He played with his pancake, poking it with his fork.

Seunghyun, wow. This is where we’ll live? It’s beautiful. Her eyes wide with delight. Come on. Let’s explore the house. She smiled and reaches for his hand.

His hand is on the air, trying to reach hers but she’s not there. A bitter smile curved on his lips and he put down is lifted hand.

The doorbell rang.

He instantly stood up to answer the door. When he opened it, he gasped in surprise. Standing right before him is a woman who is breathtakingly beautiful but as he looks longer, he noticed her cheeks lost its glow and she became thinner, much thinner compared to how she looks on TV. The same girl who’s the cause of his misery, the reason of his haunted sleeps, and the cause of thousands of his deaths. Despite all the pain she inflicted on him, her presence made him feel happy. “Dara.” She heaved a sigh and forces a smile. Not to be rude or anything, he invited her in.  An awkward silence surrounded the air, both are measuring each other. After a while, he couldn't take the tension anymore and cleared his throat. “I’ll just get you something to drink. Is orange juice okay?” he starts to walk towards the kitchen when her hand stopped him. When he looked at her, she is on her knees and clutching his hand. She had her head down and trembling bad. “Please… take me again. I realized my mistakes. Take me back. Let me stay again with you. I want to stay with you.” she cried. Stay with me? How long did he wait for her to say that to him? He waited for her to come back but she didn’t, and now? He exasperatedly sighed. “Dara, please don’t do this to me. Stand up.” she forcefully shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I want to go home to you. Please take me back. I love you Seunghyun.” Love? Her words are mocking him. What does she know about love when she left him, crying on his knee and begging her to stay, for another man? “You love me?” Disbelief and anger is evident on his voice. He’s not going to lie, he loves her. He still does. God knows how much, but he can’t make himself happy about what’s happening. Can they give their love a second chance? Is it worth the try? Will it be a chance of happiness… or another chance of heartbreak? But most importantly, can he trust her again? He can’t help but feel doubtful. Why only now? “Are you telling me that you still love me just because you need me... or do you need me, because you love me? Tell me Dara, help me because I don’t know what to think anymore.” He’s way beyond confused and broken. Painful memories keep flashing back on his mind…. all the heartaches... It's unfortunate how they outweigh the good ones. He sighed tiredly. "I think I had enough. I’m tired… too tired of being tired.” Her eyes widened with his words… he can’t. No. he can’t. He must take her back. He’s the only one she got. She can’t lose him. He kneeled and leveled his gaze to her. “I love you… but I don’t think I can love you anymore. I’ve been broken down, trampled upon, thrown away… and I experienced those with you; the very person that I wholly love…the same person that inflicted the most pain in me. I can’t risk experiencing them again. You know how much I worked to save our relationship… I  worshipped you but you didn’t value all my efforts. I’ve suffered enough and had enough. I love you but…. I don’t want to try no more.” A  part of him wants her to stay, a part of him wants to let her go. I guess letting her go is the best choice he could get so he wouldn't end up hurting instead, for he doesn't know if he could love her the same way again without valuing and loving first the person that he is.  

Merry Christmas :)))) 

Hengsho!! 

I hope this story is okay. 

This is based from the song Don't wanna try by Frankie J.