Do Kyungsoo smiled brightly. He was walking while humming some songs. He was bringing a meals box in a plastic bag on his right hand and a flower bouquet on the other hand. He felt so happy, he thought he was happy. He kept smiling while glancing at the flower bouquet in his hand. His smile was gone for a while as he saw the elevator door closed slowly. He ran toward it and he succeeded to get in and join with other people. He was with other three people, an old man with a white coat, a young lady who was standing beside the old man, she bringing many note books, and the last another old man who had a fruit parcel with him.

“Kyungsoo ssi, how are you?” the old man with white coat greeted him.

Kyungsoo smiled politely. “Good as before, Sir.”

“I’m glad to see you with those beautiful flowers. Are they for her?” he asked, smiling a little.

“Yes.” Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smiled widely.

The man smiled again. “You bring her meals, too.” He glanced at the plastic bag Kyungsoo bringing.

“Yes, she hasn’t eaten breakfast yet.” Kyungsoo replied. “I think I will bring her meals for lunch as well.” He added.

The man smiled again, a bitter one. “You’re such a great guy, Kyungsoo ssi.”

The elevator door was opened. Kyungsoo, the old man with white coat and the young lady headed out the elevator. Kyungsoo then went to the opposite direction.

“I’ll see you around, Sir.” He said to the man while bowing. The man once again smiled, bowed a little and he then was out from Kyungsoo’ s sight, he entered a room in the corner of the corridor.

Kyungsoo was alone. He looked around and saw some people in white pajamas walking slowly, some of them were walking alone, and the others were with their relatives. Kyungsoo’s face brightened up as he was thinking about you. He tried to plaster the best smile he had, before he walked to a door which was a bit far from the elevator.

He opened the door slowly. He smiled brightly, when he saw you. He quickly approached you.

“Dear, good morning!” he greeted you in very cheerful way, way too cheerful, but he didn’t care. He was too happy to see you. He ruffled your hair lovingly after planting a kiss on your forehead. “Are you waiting for me? I’m sorry I’m bit late. You know, I missed the bus twice! Can you imagine that? I had to wait the next bus for some minutes.

“But, it’s okay, Dear.” He said as he placed the plastic bag on the table near the window. He looked at you. “At least I got here, even I needed some extra times. You don’t mind, do you? Am I too late? You don’t wait for me too long, right?” he asked while chuckling.

He stopped chuckling suddenly. His face’s expression changed all of sudden.

“I’m sorry to make you wait.” He said sincerely. “I’m really sorry.” He sighed. “Here, I bring you flowers. Do you like them?” he put the bouquet on your lap. He smiled at you, still with those bright and huge smiles he had. But he didn’t hear you say such words. You just kept silent. He didn’t have you replying all what he said. He didn’t have you smiling back at him. All he saw was you closing your eyes, with pale face. You had your blanket up about your chest. Your hands were at the sides of your body. One of them was connected with a long tube of infuse bottle.

Kyungsoo’s smile was gone slowly.

No, he would never believe that you were in coma. At least he never thought about that, he prevented that fact that you were in coma. It had been four years. You still haven’t woken up. But he never stopped to hope, never stopped waiting for you to wake up. He wanted you to see him again, to smile at him again. It hurt him to see you like this. It hurt him to have you like this. It hurt him so much.

He never felt so happy, he was not that happy. He pretended to be happy in front of you. He didn’t want you sad to see him that way, but actually he was really in sorrow.

He spent most of his time with you. He always came in the morning, bringing meals which you never ate. He also brought you bouquets of flowers which wilted every night. He always talked to you, even you never seemed to reply him, not once. People, even doctors and nurses, probably thought that he was crazy, he was desperate. He pretended that you were okay, that you woke up, you could talk to him, you could make a move. It was the opposite. Everyone told him that you would never wake up, but he never believed in what they said easily. Doctors said the possibility of you waking up was only 4%. They actually gave up on your case, but Kyungsoo stubbornly said that you would wake up someday.

“I believe she will wake up! She will not give up her life like what you all say. She’s strong, I know she will wake up someday!” that was he said at that time, four years back, when you were defined in coma after a car crash.

But until today, there was no sign that you would wake up.

Your body was skinnier day by day. Your face and skin were paler each day. He was sad to see you like this. But there was nothing he could do. He was glad to have you here, he still could see your face every day. But something was still wrong if he didn’t have you wake up and he didn’t hear your voice. Something was wrong.

“Wake up, will you?” he whispered. He slowly reached your hand and held it. He could feel your cold hand in his. You still closed your eyes, didn’t even say anything. He bit his bottom lip and he got his eyes teary. He rubbed his eyes with his other hand. He took a deep breath. He leaned in and planted a kiss on your forehead once again.

“I miss you, I miss talking to you. I miss hearing you laughing. You sleep way too long. I almost forget your voice. I need you to talk to me. Will you wake up?”

No answers.

What more could he expect?

He caressed your face. “I’’ll be back later.” he said. And then he turned around and walked towards the door. He closed the door behind him and once again took a deep breath. Oh, dear, it was still hard for him to know that you still didn’t wake up. He hid his face with his palms. He felt so frustrated. He still got his eyes teary. He rubbed his eyes once again as he walked. He didn’t know where to go. He let his legs took him anywhere. He turned to a corridor without him knowing. He heard some sound of dropped things and he quickly opened his eyes. Yeah, there were many things falling on the floor and they were some silver coins. The sound was bit noisy. He quickly bent down and collected the coins.

“Oh, thank you for collecting them.” he heard a voice.

He straightened his body and looked at the owner of that deep voice. It was a boy who was standing in front of him, a boy with bored and sleepy face. He was bringing a pouch in his hand and Kyungsoo was sure he heard some noisy sounds from it. Is the pouch full of coins?

“Are they yours?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Yeah.” The boy said. He had his other hand in his jacket’s pocket. “And those coins in your hand, they’re yours now.” The boy said again.

Kyungsoo looked down at some coins in his hand. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Seconds later he looked up and stared at the boy standing in front of him. The boy plastered a bored expression.

“What can I do with these coins?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Buying some chocolates, candies, sweets, or…” he smirked,”calling, I guess?”

Kyungsoo blinked. “Calling? Calling who?”

“Your girlfriend, of course.”

Kyungsoo was frozen. He blinked many times. What does he mean? What is this boy talking about?

“What do you mean by saying that?” he asked the boy. He furrowed eyebrows in confusion and he then narrowed his eyes while staring at the sleepy boy.

“Oh, come on. You miss your girlfriend, don’t you?” the boy asked.

Kyungsoo gritted his teeth. He took a deep breath. “You should know that my girlfriend is…” he breathed out,”…my girlfriend is in a coma.” He added bitterly. “How could I give her a call?” he asked the boy back. He still didn’t understand why he should meet a sleepy random boy with lots coins. And the boy asked him to use the coins for giving you a ring. That was not possible. You were in a coma, right? How could he phone you?

“Anything is possible.” The boy replied.

Kyungsoo shook his head. “You’re lying.”

The boy laughed slightly. “If it’s a lie, it’s like what you’ve believed. You believe that she would be awake, right? You’ve waited for four years. Even no one believed she would wake up, you’re the one who believe. You love her, you want her so much to wake up. You want to see her open her eyes again to see you. The doctors told you there were no possibilities for her to wake up and live normally. There’s no chance for her to live. But why do you still believe in her then? Why don’t you believe what the doctors said to you?

“It’s because you still want her in your life and you don’t want to let her go, is it right?” the boy said while chuckling.

Kyungsoo didn’t believe what he had heard from this boy. Why did he know too much about him? Why did he seem like know him? Who was he actually?

Kyungsoo was sure he didn’t know this boy. He never met this boy before. And why did he talk like he knew Kyungsoo well?

“Who are you?” Kyungsoo asked. He glued his eyes to the boy. He looked at him with a distrustful expression written all over his face.

“Me?” that Kim Jongin boy pointed at himself. Kyungsoo’s annoyed stare didn’t bother him at all, seemed like he used to it. “My name is Kim Jongin. I’m just a coin seller.”

“Coin seller..?” Kyungsoo wrinkled his forehead. Is that occupation needed in this hospital?

 “Yeah, I sell coins to people.” Kim Jongin replied simply.

“For what?” he asked again. it was weird to see a weird sleepy random boy with many coins told that he was a coin seller. Coin seller? In a hospital? Kyungsoo didn’t get it what the boy meant. But seconds later he got the answer.

“I sell coins, not really sell, I exchange them with some chocolate bars, or sometimes I don’t need anything. I just give coins to people.” Kim Jongin said while shaking the pouch in his hand. And he pointed at coins in Kyungsoo’s hand with his chin. “Like I gave those coins for you.”

So he sells coins to people in this hospital? Why must be in hospital?

“What can I do with these coins?”

“I’ve said to you that you could call your girlfriend.” Kim Jongin looked annoyed. “That’s the coins are for.”

Kyungsoo stared at him while widened his eyes. “For calling?”

Kim Jongin didn’t reply and he stepped aside. He showed behind him a corridor—which Kyungsoo never seen before or he had seen it but it changed now?—a corridor full of telephone boxes. They all were white, and they got some snow on them, also around them. The telephones in them, the interior inside were also white painted. Each the box was been filled by a person, a guy, a lady, old and young. There were even kids in the box. They were like busy talking on the line. Kyungsoo couldn’t hear what all they said but he could see their expressions. They all looked happy.

Kyungsoo was still surprised to see such view in front of him as he realized that one person was out of the box. The person was a guy with red hair. He smiled brightly while walking. He looked so happy.

“How was your day, Kim Joonmyun ssi?” Kim Jongin asked when that guy walking toward him and Kyungsoo.

That Kim Joonmyun guy smiled brightly. “Brilliant.” He replied cheerfully. “I and my wife talked for hours. It’s really fun. I’m so happy.” He added and chuckled.

Kim Jongin smiled politely. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Thank you for giving me the coins, boy.” Kim Joonmyun said once again. He tapped Kim Jongin’s shoulder. “Thank you so much. That means a lot to me.” he said in a deep low voice. He smiled happily. He smiled to Kyungsoo before he walked away.

“Where’s his wife?” Kyungsoo asked when Kim Joonmyun turned to other corridor and was out from his sight.

“She’s in room 319.” Kim Jongin replied. “had been in coma for ten years.”

Kyungsoo was shock. His eyes widened even wider. Ten years?

“Now it’s your turn. There’s one box empty.” Kim Jongin pointed at the box from where Kim Joonmyun headed out minutes ago. “You can go inside.”

“What?”

Kim Jongin pushed Kyungsoo’s body. Kyungsoo walked uncertainly toward the box. He looked back and saw Kim Jongin ponting at the box, and making gesture like calling with his right hand. Kyungsoo got it, and at last he arrived in front of the box. He saw mound of snow on the footlane to the telephone box. He reached the door knob and opened the door slowly. The air in this box was warmer than outside. This box was maybe only a small box, but it was the warmest place he ever entered in. Kyungsoo looked at the phone. It had buttons for the numbers, and a small space for the coins. Kyungsoo didn’t know how many coins he had to put into the phone. Kim Jongin didn’t tell him anyways.

Aish, that was a problem.

He himself still didn’t believe about what Kim Jongin said, that he could give you a call. But he also didn’t want to miss this chance. Who knew he could hear your voice again, who knew his wound of longing for you could be healed. It was not enough only to see your pale face every day. It made him suffer. He needed to hear your voice also. It had been about very very long time that he could probably forget your nice voice.

Maybe after hearing your voice, his heart would be healed.

Maybe after hearing your voice, he would feel better.

Maybe after hearing your voice, he would feel more alive.

But, he still didn’t know what kind of conversation he would get. Would he really call you and have you talk usually to him?

He put all coins into the space. He had the phone handle on his ear. He waited for hear some voices in other line. He cleared his throat. He became quite nervous.

He waited, he waited, he waited.

“Hello? Kyungsoo?”

He widened his eyes. No, can’t be, he thought. I must be dreaming. I must be dreaming!

“Kyungsoo, this is me.” you said on the other line.

His hand was shaking. His eyes got teary. He called your name and right then he heard you laughed.

“Yes, this is me.” you answered.

He couldn’t believe his ears even he knew that the voice were yours. He still remembered your nice voice. He knew this was you. He knew this was real. He was in the phone talking to you. A tear fell down on his cheek.

“Hey, I miss your voice.” He told you while wiping out his tear. Once again he heard you chuckling.

“I miss yours as well.” You replied without any hesitation. Kyungsoo curled a smile even you couldn’t see it. “Even I heard it every day, I still miss your voice. Is it weird?” you said while chuckling.

“No, no. It’s not weird.” He shook his head. It was like a dream that he could hear your voice again. If it was, this was the most beautiful dream he ever had in these past 4 years. “I’m happy to hear your voice again.” he said.

You replied with cheerful voice. “I’m happy to have you always there for me.”

Kyungsoo and you talked about many things. It was like usually he talked to you in your room, but it was different now. Now you were replying all what he said, he was not talking alone. It was like a real one, you always commented any of his stories, replied all his questions. He had someone to talk to, finally he had you talk to him again. What should he ask for more? It was enough for him. Having you talking to him was enough for him. He wanted to hear your voice forever.

And now there was something inside him that he wanted you to wake up, this feeling was strongest than before. He wanted you to wake up, so he forever could have you with him, talk to him, smile at him.

But it was too good to be true, right?

“Do you know what I always do in my sleep, Kyungsoo?” he heard you asked. Kyungsoo shook his head. Smile still curled on his lips.

“I don’t know. What is it?”

“People who are in coma are always dreaming. Yeah, it’s like dreaming. We dream about many things.” You told him while chuckling.

“Is that so?” he blinked. Actually he didn’t ever know about that fact. Is that true?

“Yeah.” You said. “And I always dream about you. No, it’s not like a dream. It looks so real. It’s like I see you in reality.”

See me…in reality? Kyungsoo blinked. He didn’t get it.

“So, you see me?” he asked.

“Always. You’re the only one I see.”

Kyungsoo got warm feeling into him. He smiled. “So, what am I doing in your dream?”

“You did many things. You smile, you laugh. It’s nice to see you laughing and smiling. It’s been a while.” He heard you chuckled. Slowly you stopped chuckling. Silence for some seconds between you both. “Are you happy, Kyungsoo?” you randomly asked.

“Why are you asking that all of sudden?” Kyungsoo asked back. Before he spoke again, you said

“In these past four years, I thought you were not happy. Is that because of me?”

“No. I’m hap—“

“Don’t lie to me, Kyungsoo.” you cut him off. He heard you took a deep breath. You sighed. “I know you’re not happy. I am the one who makes you sad. You felt unhappy because of me.”

“No, no, no! I’m happy! It’s not like what you think.” Kyungsoo said stubbornly.

“Kyungsoo,” you called him. You called him with your soft voice. It sounded weird for Kyungsoo this time. It sounded weak. “I know what you always do for me. You are always with me. You cook and bring me meals, bring me flowers every day. You’re the one who still believes that I will wake up. When people think that it’s impossible for me, but you always think the opposite. You believe in me. You wait for me to wake up. You wait…” you paused,”for a long long time.”

“Are you not tired of waiting for me?” you asked.

Kyungsoo got frustrated this time. “What are you talking about?”

“Aren’t you tired, Kyungsoo?” you ignored him and asked the same question. “Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m not.” Kyungsoo said firmly. No, he never thought that waiting for you to wake up was tiring. He never thought of it. He always thought positively about you, that you would wake up someday, even he didn’t know exactly when it was. No, he never thought that waiting for you was tiring. Never. But when it was talked about how happy he was, he couldn’t say the truth. He was never happy to see you in a coma. He was never happy to see your pale face and stiff body. He was never happy to see you didn’t wake up. You have been sleeping for a long time.

“You’re so kind, Kyungsoo.” you said. “How lucky I am to have you. I’m so happy.” you added. Kyungsoo could hear your cheerful shaky voice. Kyungsoo wanted to say something but he heard nothing come out from his mouth.

“Can you promise me one thing?”

“What is that?” he asked.

“Please be happy.”

Kyungsoo felt his tongue dry. He didn’t get the right feeling for this.

“I will. I have you. Is there anything can make me happy?”

He heard you laughed. You sounded so cheerful.

“You will wake up, won’t you?” he found his voice shaky. He was afraid of asking this to you. But he did want to know about this. He needed an answer for this. This was what he had been questioned for very long time. He needed to know the answer.

He just heard you laughing. “I love you, Kyungsoo.”

“I love you, too.”

“Thank you.”

Then the phone was hung up by you in the other line. He heard a long monotone sound. It was too sudden and it made Kyungsoo surprised.

“Hello? Hello? Hello??” He called out your name.

He blinked many times and checked the phone. He presses some buttons and he realized he didn’t put any number. He was so panicked. He rushed out the phone box and approached Kim Jongin who was still standing in the same place as Kyungsoo saw hours ago.

“Kim Jongin, give me some coins!” he said. “My girlfriend, I still need to talk to her. The phone suddenly was hung up and I didn’t know what—“

“I can’t give you more coins, Do Kyungsoo ssi.” Kim Jongin cut him off. His sleepy face showed a sad expression. He looked sad.

“What do you mean? You have lots of coins! You can give me some, can’t you?” Kyungsoo started to shake Kim Jongin’s shoulders. “I need to talk to her!”

“I’m sorry, Do Kyungsoo ssi. You just were given coins for once. You cannot have them again.”

“What are you talking about?” he shook Kim Jongin’s shoulder even tighter. When he was about to say more, he heard another long monotone sound. It was like from the phone, but this one was clearer than before. Kyungsoo looked around. Everyone was still busy talking on the phone and the sound didn’t come from one of the boxes. Where does the sound come from? He thought. He was shivering when he heard the sound louder than before and clearer than before.

And now he knew where the sound came from.

He shook his head, he let go of his hands from Kim Jongin’s shoulders. He ran quickly, too quick even he couldn’t feel his legs anymore. He needed to run faster. He needed to go to the place where the sound came from. He needed to make sure that what he thought was never true. He got his eyes teary. He kept running, running and running.

He saw your door room was opened. The sound was clearly and loud. His eyes widened in horror. No. No. No.

He saw some doctors, including the doctor he met this morning in the elevator, gathered around your bed. He rushed to them, he pushed them aside to see you. He saw your face paler than before. He glanced at the box that showed your heart activity but he only found a long straight line. Your heart was not beating anymore.

“No. It can’t be…” he mumbled. He took your hand. It was cold as an ice. He found his hands and body shaking. “No….” he glanced frustratingly at the doctors. “What are you looking at? Save her!” he screamed.

“There is nothing we can do, Kyungsoo ssi.”

“You have to do something! You have to save her!” he started to shake the doctors’ arms. But they just looked at him sadly. “Save her, will you?” he pleaded while his eyes were teary. “Please save her!”

“It’s the time for her to go, Kyungsoo ssi. Let her go.”

“NOOOOOOO!!!!”

He fell to the floor by his knees, sobbing. He held the side of his head with his two trembling hands. Slowly but sure, he remembered all your phone conversations minutes ago. It was the very last time that he could hear your voice. He would never hear your voice anymore for all his life. Not even once. And he never had you wake up and saw him here. You would never open your eyes anymore. You were already gone from his life.

Fin

December 17^th 2012