I am sitting at my favourite coffee shop, doing some assignments with BIGBANG's song is played in my ear. I feel like Jiyong is as close as my vein though billion miles away is where he is at now.

I miss you, Jiyong. I would never argue about his busy schedule, I know how excited he was when he explained his world tour plans. "Can you imagine that? London, New York, China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia. Damn, I would meet many people over there",explained him excitedly. I smiled while listening him but inside, I feel burden in my heart.

This means, I won't able to spend my weekend for many times with him. This means, he would be angry toward me if he got tired. No, he is not a bad person but as a Leo, he wants to be respected much. You know, when people get tired, they will be more sensitive. And that is what happened with me and Jiyong during these few months. He got angry easily, sometimes at small reasons, he got angry to me. Most of all, he got angry because I went out with my boy friends.

"DO YOU THINK THAT I AM PLAYING AROUND NOW?! YA, THERE ARE SO MANY GIRLS IN HERE YET I DON'T EVEN SEE THEM",yelled him on the phone once. I cried, not because he was yelling at me, but because I know this would not happened if he was not away. It would not be this worst if he were in Korea now, hugging me tight under the same blanket, sharing the heat of his body to make me feel warm.

I hear the door is opened, so I look above. I see a couple, holding each other's hand and the girl's hand is inside the pocket of her boyfriend's jacket. I sigh, I wish I could do the same to you Ji. When you will get home?,whispered me silently. Suddenly my phone is ringing, I see the caller ID, Kwon GD <3.

"Hi girl, missing me?",said him seductively with the most seductive and addictive voice. I am blushing, is this called fate? when you think of someone and suddenly he feels you are thinking of him. "Baby? You are still there?"

I am shaking my head, the heat of embarassment is making my cheek being reddish. "Um.. yeah. I miss you Jiyong"

"Why I feel sad and not feel happy listen your voice, and um that kind of tone..."

"Ah no, don't feel like that. How's your concert in London? Went well?",asked me excitedly. To change the atmosphere, I don't want him to know how much it hurts to missing him this much. And listening him tell me about his concert always make me happy. Me, as his long-term fangirl, always being fascinated with his way to loving his fans.

He tells me a lot about his concert, how he went to many places, how he spent his days with Seungri, the birthday boy and many other things. "I wish you were here, babe..."

My heart feels hurt, the pain shows directly on his tone. He feels the same as mine.

"When you will be back Ji?"

I hear his long sighs, "Though I am back, I still have tons of things to do"

I close my eyes, and the tears are falling. Silence explains it all. No words can define how hurts it is for me. "Ah really? As long as you are in Korea, I am fine Ji. We still have many years to stay together"

"I am sorry..."

I shake my head, "Don't be Jiyong, I love you. Since the first time I met you, I took a risk to loving a celebrity like you, I will be getting used with your schedules. I am good Ji"

"You can kidnapped me anytime. I don't mind"

"Ji... stop it",no matter how old his age is. His childish image is such a lovely side that I always miss, how he often asked for more ice cream on his waffle, how he does not let me take a bath when waking up in the morning because he wants to get more sleep. "Just see you back soon in here, I miss you much much. Love you Jiyong, take care"

"Fine, I love you too my idol",a word that never fail to make me smiling the whole days.

Because he always says,

I am an idol for many girls out there, but I am surely knowing what my heart wants, you are my idol. I am your forever fanboy that would love to spend my whole life to liking you.