The crimson red blood pouring out from the wound on the boy's chest stained the wispy white snow on the ground he tumbled down on. He still kept a firm grip on the handle of the knife which stabbed right through his heart moments ago, as his eyes blinked shut against all the people crowding around him.

 

 

10 YEARS AGO

 

The toilet door slammed shut with a loud “bang”, making fifteen year old Luhan jerk his head towards the noise. His eyes widened at the sight of the boy in front of him – his features betrayed his youth, despite the harsh lines of tiredness on the face, Luhan could conclude that the boy must definitely be younger than him; his hair was a mess that looked as if he just climbed out of bed but Luhan smiled in spite of himself and thought that it looked cute; his school uniform was untidy, the kind you'd see a school gangster wear in dramas and though Luhan never liked people like that, he thought that the boy looked manly. The sight he took of the boy in front of him, who had started to shove people out the toilet but him, was against all the usual perceptions he had for someone he had just met.

 

Luhan did not realize that he was still staring at the boy when the latter shifted uneasily and mumbled something. The toilet is now empty except for the two of them – Luhan staring with eyes like a doe and the boy shifting and coughing uncomfortably.

 

“You-”

 

“I-”

 

Both of them spoke at the same time after a period of painful silence which dragged between them. The younger boy ruffled his hair, and looked at the tiles under his toes; in which Luhan took in as a cute way and he smiled again, despite telling himself that the boy in front of him might be up to no good and he should remain cold and clear-headed.

 

“Well, if you are not going to speak then I will be-”

 

“Sunbae!” the younger boy blushed furiously as he grabbed Luhan's shoulders and pushed him onto the wall.

 

Luhan widened his eyes in surprise at the sudden intimacy – the younger boy had his legs closed in on either side of Luhan – and he made fierce attempts to get the younger boy away from him but the boy was surprisingly strong, an attribute that belied his soft features and tiny build.

 

“What-”

 

“I-I'm Oh Sehun from Class 2 a-and sunbae, I think I might h-have fallen in l-love with you.”

 

 

2 YEARS AGO

 

Luhan took one last look at the Polaroid he took with Sehun 8 years back, before keeping it in his drawer for safe custody. At first, he had planned to tidy his room; but when pictures of him back when he was still a student came up, the memories of the past flooded back. He smiled at the lingering memory of Sehun's confession.

 

After the incident of the confession, Luhan could not meet Sehun's eyes every time he saw him on campus. He had rejected him outright. Luhan assured himself constantly that it is impossible for him to date someone of the same and furthermore, Sehun's just a stranger.

 

But after several attempts of Sehun waiting for him after school and walking home with him although they live in completely opposite directions; Sehun standing up for him when Luhan gets bullied; Sehun constantly following Luhan on campus like a stalker; but deep down, the older enjoys the attention; Sehun buying ice-creams for them both when the summer heat threatened to fry them up like pancakes, but it turned out that he shoved the vanilla ice-cream right on Luhan's face, infuriating the latter to do the same to him and causing chaos outside the ice-cream shop; Sehun sharing the same bed with Luhan after walking him home late; they became a couple, lovers.

 

It had always been Sehun doing something for Luhan, making the older one feel as if he did not love Sehun as much.

 

“Well, it's not going to be the same anymore,” Luhan mumbled to himself.

 

“Baekhyun, I’m going out a bit, to buy something for Sehun. Look after Jongin for me, okay?” he called out; as he pulled his coat from the coat-rack and left the house he shared with Sehun. He barely caught what his neighbor, Baekhyun, had replied with, but he knew he wouldn’t decline.

 

Recently, Luhan had read an article titled “Ways To Spend Christmas With Your Lover”, which inspired him to do more things on his part for Sehun and to shower the younger one with more love and warmth. He had decided to buy a special gift for the younger, as recommended by the article.

 

Sehun had stated that he had work on that day, despite it being Christmas; and would only be back in the evening, at the earliest. Sometimes Luhan really wanted to write a letter of complaint to the manager, but thought better of it – he would most probably get Sehun fired, and that wouldn't do, because Sehun is the only one working to provide money for the financial needs of the household – Sehun, Luhan and Jongin, a child they had adopted just two years back. Luhan had told Sehun that he could work; after all, he had a higher education degree than Sehun and could secure a better job, but the younger one would not allow “someone so precious” to get tired and overworked.

 

The cold wind chewed at Luhan's cheeks as he locked the door behind him. He skipped to the garage, and jumped into the car that he and Sehun had just bought that year. The car flared to life, and pulled out of the driveway.

 

Pushing his fringe away from his eyes, Luhan walked into a gift shop that hung sparkling decorations of teddy bears and Christmas trees.

 

“Welcome!” the cashier behind the counter chirped in a highly practiced voice.

 

Luhan moved between rows and rows of exquisite gifts, trying to find something special, as read from the article.

 

Searching for a gift for an hour or so at several different shops, Luhan finally settled on a pocket watch. He had realized lately, that Sehun's watch had been scratched and the fake “diamonds” at the side were starting to come out, revealing an ugly plastic. Sehun had said that it didn't matter, but Luhan knew that some way or another, you'd need to find out the time. Isn't that the main reason why a clock was invented?

 

He walked out of the shop; feeling contented with what he had just bought. He looked up as he heard a cough in front of him, and stared at the person before him.

 

“Sehun…?”

 

The said person smiled warmly at his surprised husband, before showing a confident smirk while holding his phone in his raised hand. It clearly showed an app with the name “Cell Tracker”, and Luhan inwardly cursed. No wonder Sehun knew where he was.

 

“Wait a second… Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

 

The realization suddenly struck him. He started worrying about the cost of Sehun’s doing, what would happen to him, would he get fired for just ditching work like that, but wait, did he even ditch his work?

 

The soft, melodic chuckle which Sehun emitted brought Luhan back his composure.

 

“Don’t worry hyung; I didn’t ditch work or anything like that. I actually lied to you about work being on, on Christmas,” Sehun reassured the older.

 

“…Why?” Luhan questioned, a clear frown plastered on his face. All his worries were washed away, though, when Sehun smiled his angelic smile, once again.

 

“To get you this.”

 

Sehun held out his hand, which held a small, colorful box. Luhan looked at the small treasure, and then looked back at Sehun, as if mentally asking him what he was supposed to do with it. Sehun nodded slightly in return, the smile on his face never subsiding. Luhan slowly took hold of the box, and opened it cautiously. Though he assumed it would be a Christmas present, he definitely wasn’t expecting a silver, chained bracelet to be staring back at him. He stared at it in complete awe, before slowly taking it out with trembling hands. He only then realized that it had both his and Sehun’s name carved on a metal plate in the middle of the bracelet, glistening prettily from the light reflecting off of the snow surrounding them. Luhan smiled at the piece of jewellery with watery eyes, trying his best not to cry at the sincere thought. Sehun took the sparkling bracelet off his hand, and clipped it around Luhan’s slender wrists. He then raised the same arm he was raising while he was showing his phone to Luhan; to show that he had the same bracelet as him. Luhan wondered how he hadn’t noticed it before.

 

“Oh! I also got you a present… Sorry it’s nowhere near as pricey as this gift,” he exclaimed while motioning to the chain wrapped around his wrist.

 

He quickly took the wrapped watch from his bag, and thanked himself in his mind that he had remembered to get it wrapped when he had purchased it. He handed it to Sehun, who looked at it, surprised. He opened it carelessly, ripping the wrapper covering the gift. He stared at the gift for a few moments, before smiling happily, and cheerfully. The sight was so cute, and Sehun looked like a 5 year old who had just received a packet of candy, that Luhan had a huge urge to just pinch his cheeks.

 

“Thank you so much hyung! It doesn’t matter that it’s not as expensive as my gift… I’m just really, really happy that you actually bothered to buy me a new watch.”

 

Luhan smiled at the younger, and ruffled his hair lightly. He was just too cute to resist.

 

“Let’s go home now; it’s so cold out here.”

 

While both of them loaded in the car, Luhan silently clicked his tongue.

 

“I didn’t spoil him this time either… but he seemed extremely happy. Oh well, I’ll spoil him more at a later time,” he thought in his head.

 

He looked at Sehun, who was happily fastening the new watch to his wrist. Luhan decided that he definitely liked seeing Sehun so happy over such a simple present.

 

He loaded the car up, and drove onto the road.

 

They were happily singing to a song on the radio, when Luhan nearly lost his control over the car when it skidded against the road. He cursed to himself, knowing fully well that the road was probably frozen, and icy. He only just dodged an upcoming car, and he looked back at the person in the car who was swearing continuously as he drove away.

 

“LUHAN!”

 

Luhan only had enough time to turn his head to see another car heading straight towards them, but it was too sudden for him to try and make a move. The car crashed into his; and with the speed both cars were going at with the iciness on the road; it wasn’t going to end good.

 

The glasses of both the cars smashed into a million pieces; the tiny pieces stabbing at both Sehun and Luhan’s skin. Some of the pieces pierced Luhan’s eyes very badly; but he didn’t care about himself enough at that moment to even tend to it. He tried to shield Sehun, but it seemed as though Sehun had thought of the idea before him, because Luhan felt himself being covered with a warm body; which he soon recognized as Sehun’s. His eyes widened when he realized what was going on; but it was too late; Sehun had already taken massive loads of the damage. They stayed frozen, not knowing how to defend themselves safely; until the car finally stopped skidding on the road. Luhan couldn’t open his eyes, as it had started to hurt tremendously; but he did hold onto Sehun’s hand, very tightly, and that’s all the reassurance he needed.

 

“…I love you, Sehun. Don’t you ever forget that,” Luhan managed to rasp out.

 

“I know, Luhan. I love you too… Forever and ever.”

 

The pocket watch clicked open, the time stopping. Their visions blackened right then.

 

-

 

“…Urghh.”

 

Luhan stirred slightly in his slumber. He heard incessant beeps emitting from machines; or, what he assumed were machines. His head was banging, and the beeping honestly didn’t help. He tried to open his eyes, but only received complete blackness in return.

 

“Mister Lu, are you awake?” someone, presumably a doctor, questioned him.

 

“…Yes,” he croaked. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep for; but it was obvious that he hadn’t used his voice for a very long time.

 

“Okay. You’re probably wondering why you can’t see anything, yes?”

 

Luhan could only nod his head the slightest bit, which he couldn’t even tell if the doctor knew he had made the movement.

 

“Please don’t be panic-stricken when I inform you this. You must promise me, Mister Lu, that you will stay calm.”

 

Luhan nodded his tiny nod once again.

 

“You’re blind.”

 

“…What?”

 

“Yes, you’re blind. The glass of the car pierced your eyes very badly, and the best we could do was make the blindness temporary.”

 

“What?!?” Luhan screamed as he thrashed around on his bed, shoving things down to the floor with a loud “clang”. The sound of glasses shattering was so overwhelming, that memories suddenly came rushing back.

 

Memories of how he heard Sehun shout, how he shielded Luhan, how they confessed their love for one another.

 

…Anyway, where was Sehun?

 

Luhan moved his hand to touch the cold, chain metal on his wrist. He was so relieved it was still intact; but he was more worried about the owner of the gift.

 

“Where’s Sehun?”

 

There was no response, probably because the doctor had left him alone just a while ago while he was still screaming.

 

“Sehun...?” The voice was laced with concern; he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for failing his duty of protecting Sehun, if something bad had happened to the younger boy.

 

“...I'm here.” A voice croaked out, cold hands grabbing Luhan's.

 

“Sehun!” Luhan reached forward and enveloped Sehun into a hug. “S-Sehun, I-I was so worried; I-I thought y-you-” Luhan sobbed, burying his face in Sehun's shoulders.

 

“I'm alright, the shards only injured my back a little... Anyway, how are you...?” Sehun patted Luhan's back, trying to comfort him.

 

“The doctor said I-I'm blind! Sehun, what am I going to do? How am I going to dance, how am I going to meet people, and most importantly, how... am I going to see you?” Luhan cried harder, the impact of the accident dawning on him.

 

“Well,” Sehun pulled back, and placed Luhan's hand on his chest; where the pumping organ beat rhythmically, and placed his own hand on Luhan's chest, “some things can be felt with the heart and I feel yours in mine, just like how you would feel mine in yours.”

 

Warm tears splattered onto the hands they clutched tightly together; while they remained silent for a while, until Sehun broke the silence with another reassurance that Luhan badly needed.

 

“Remember how you changed the wallpaper of my house from black, to rainbow colors, how you added brighter clothes to my wardrobe, and how you pulled me out from my darkness that I've always lived in; until I met you? Now I'm going to do the same; I'm going to brighten your dark world.”

 

1 YEAR AGO
 

After Luhan had been discharged from the hospital, their neighbors; Chanyeol and Baekhyun, moved in with them. Sehun had said that it'd be better for Luhan's condition as he had work to do, and the “chodings could use some time to take care” of him. Their adopted child, Jongin, was being sent away, despite Luhan's protests; the reasoning, it being too tough to take care of both the child and Luhan. Luhan didn't like it when Sehun spoke of the phrase “take care”, as if he was just a child; but nevertheless, he allowed Sehun to arrange things for him.

 

Luhan was dancing in the room which he and Sehun shared, when the door opened. It was Chanyeol's voice he heard.

 

“Luhan hyung, B-Baekhyun, he-” Luhan could sense the anxiety and could hear sniffles of sobs from the taller man.

 

“He what-?” Luhan walked over to him slowly, feeling his way around. He grabbed Chanyeol's shoulders, feeling panic bubbling up inside of him.

 

“...He was found d-dead in an abandoned warehouse. The police said that a passerby saw Baekhyun being hung, and there was also a knife stabbed right through his heart,” Chanyeol's voice trembled unsteadily.

 

Luhan had stopped listening to Chanyeol after he had uttered Baekhyun to be “dead”. His hands fell and his knees buckled, leaving him sitting helplessly on the floor.

“I-I don't understand. Why is it that something happens every Christmas? Last year was-” Chanyeol hesitated beforecontinuing in a whisper, “was you, and now Baekhyun...”
 

1 WEEK AGO

 

Luhan barged into the room of which he and Sehun shared, and climbed into bed.

 

“Sehun! Guess what? The doctor just called to tell me that there's a cure to my blindness!” Luhan said cheerfully as he bounced up and down on the bed, unable to keep his excitement from showing.

 

There was a long silence, a silence which stopped Luhan from bouncing further and his mouth was shut immediately. The mood didn't feel right; Luhan didn't remember angering Sehun the night before, instead they were chatting happily about Christmas yesterday.

 

“...Do you have to go?” Sehun finally spoke, his voice controlled and stable.

 

“W-What do you mean? Of course I'm going! I can finally be cured of my blindness! Aren't you happy for me, Sehunnie? I can finally see you, feel you-”

 

“Didn't I say that we can feel each other with our hearts? Just why are you so desperate to recover?”

 

“Why shouldn't I be desperate? This is about my sight! Well then, I'm not recovering my sight for your sake, it's for mine, okay? There's no need for you to interfere with my business!” Luhan climbed out of bed, but in the process of doing so, he tripped, landing flat on his face.

 

“Ouch...” Luhan felt the slightest touch of Sehun's hand on his arm, but before the latter attempted to pull him up, he had already gotten up and limped out of the room.

 

“Leave me alone!”

 

THAT MORNING - CHRISTMAS

 

“Heh, Chanyeol, you looked like you have aged a lot, look at your jaundice skin.” Luhan poked the cheek of Chanyeol as the latter drove out of the hospital with Luhan.

 

“What? You're insulting people right after you've regained your sight?” Chanyeol joked, but Luhan immediately became serious, and sighed.

 

Three days before, Luhan had underwent the therapy for blindness and had stayed in the hospital ever since. Luhan mulled at the thought that not once had Sehun been to the hospital to find out his condition or whether he was okay, nor did he even speak to him after their quarrel the week before.

 

Luhan had thought that their anger would be appeased the next day just like how things usually were, and they would patch things up and be back to their normal loving selves, but none of that happened. For three days, Luhan couldn't find Sehun at the house and Chanyeol always avoided his questions, so he called Sehun and upon the tenth ring did the younger man pick up, and said that he had “decided to stay in a hotel” quite curtly before hanging up.

 

“You're thinking about Sehun again?” Chanyeol's deep voice brought Luhan back to reality.

 

Luhan pursed his lips and kept quiet. Chanyeol sighed before deciding to switch the topic of conversation.

 

“Hey, look,” at the traffic lights, Chanyeol took a shopping bag from the backseats and passed it to Luhan, “before fetching you from the hospital, I went to the grocery and brought food to celebrate your recovery. Don't worry, I'm not the one cooking, Kyungsoo will be the one.”

 

When Chanyeol swerved left suddenly at green light, the items in the shopping bag tumbled out in a mess.

 

“Let me pick them up, you focus on driving.” Luhan mumbled before edging forward in his seat and shoving the items to where they belong.

 

“This,” Luhan held a fruit knife to eye level; the last thing he's shoving into the shopping bag.

 

“Oh, that. I realized that we actually don't have a fruit knife at home so I went to buy it too.”

 

Feeling a sense of deja vu, Luhan shook his head clear and threw the knife back into the bag.

 

After Chanyeol pulled into the garage minutes later, the two of them stepped out of the car, Luhan holding onto the shopping bag.

 

“I wonder what's wrong with Sehun. He didn't even bother to fetch me from the hospital like you did. He's become so cold to me after I told him about the blindness therapy a week ago,” Luhan sighed as they neared the house door.

 

“W-What are you saying?” Chanyeol's voice trembled, panic apparent.

 

“I'm saying Sehun-”

 

“Sehun died two years ago in the car crash.”

 

The wind whipped mercilessly as Luhan stared at Chanyeol, the two of them frozen in place on the snow-filled walkway. Chanyeol's words felt like sharp knives piercing and slashing against Luhan's heart. Hot tears escaped, heat and warmth left and Luhan felt his knees go weak. Statements and questions like “I saw him” and “I heard him” were stuck in his throat as he realized the impossibility of such things – how could he be so sure that he had felt and heard Sehun when he was blind? He swallowed the bile rising in his throat as his hands dug into the shopping bag instinctively.

 

Grabbing the fruit knife he had left on top of everything in the shopping bag, Luhan plunged it in the spot where his heart was located under the protection of layers of muscles.

 

“You can feel me in your heart.”

Sehun's voice echoed all around Luhan as his world swayed, before he resided into darkness once more; this time, recovery being an impossibility.

 

-
 

Life is like a game of hide and seek – lies after lies blurring your vision so much that you just can't seem to find happiness that is hiding right in front of you.

 

 

 

 

---

 

HOHOHOHOHOHO MERRRY KRISMOUSSE GUYS! To everyone reading this, sorry for this fail fic of mine. This is my first time attempting the horror genre, well because someone loves horror soooo much. ;A; /coughs

To sari duck umma, thanks for betaing my fic and listening to me rant about this and that I know I'm chatty /bangbang. ;~; Oh and also for helping me write like 1/7 of the fic, yesh I calculated it lulz OTL. Oh and I don't love you because you already have your fish. /spits

AND OF COURSE TO HYPER-VIRUS! HAHA ILY BABY EVEN IF IDK WHO YOU ARE. 8D I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY FAIL FIC AND SORRY FOR NOT MAKING IT ANY SCARIER. I GET NIGHTMARES FROM PLANNING THIS FIC, YOU KNOW. ;A; /slapped

Have a blessed Christmas, everyone! <3