He knew an idol’s life was like this, in theory. Even if someone had told him he’d cry and sweat and constantly feel like there was no energy left on his body he wouldn’t really know because, what’s knowledge compared to experience? Now he got it-or was beginning to. He spent days, weeks practicing and barely hours sleeping or eating or simply attending his basic needs. Sometimes he’d miss home so much that he felt like a little kid again because all he wanted was his mother’s embrace and her soothing voice making everything better. Sometimes he wished he wasn’t living on a horrible dorm with five guys when he could be sleeping comfortably on his room and wake up at 1pm for lunch.

He couldn’t complain though, because this is what he worked so hard for and he was thankful, so thankful that he was on that room with those 5 guys that felt just like he did and were following the same dream. Those five guys that cried with him, shared their lives with him. Those five guys that became so close to him without any of them noticing. Specially this one member who was always there for him more than the others, more than anyone: Hackyeon. Ravi thought he was good at everything, but maybe his opinion was biased.

Sure, Leo and Ken were had amazing vocals, Hongbin was officially the visual and Hyuk was the cute maknae of the group but to Ravi’s ears N’s voice was perfect, to his eyes N moved powerfully, his expressions were the cutest and his looks were superior to Hongbin. Hackyeon always treated everyone well and did his best at all times, even when everyone was stressed and exhausted he would always wear that honest, wide smile. He didn’t have Hongbin’s dimples but his cheekbones went so high making his eyes look tiny and adorable. But if he had to choose one thing he loved the most about Hackyeon, it’d be his warmth.

He discovered that warmness one day as he was lying on his bed rather uncomfortably. His body sore and his head hurting as a result of an entire week of intense practice for their comeback. He wanted to get away, escape, have peace just for a day but…he couldn’t. Just as he was beginning to believe that thought the door opened, revealing N’s tired face.

¨Can I come in?¨

¨You’re already inside though¨, Ravi said with a grin slowly forming on his face. Being with Hackyeon always made him happy. He didn’t exactly know why, but he wasn’t going to question it anytime soon.

¨I guess I am…¨ N says in a playful voice. ¨Ravi Ravi Ravi!¨

Suddenly he flops into the bed. For a moment Wonshik thought he had fainted and he panicked but then he heard a muffled laugh.

¨Yah! You scared me, why-¨ he was cut by his own laughter. N started tickling him on every spot he knew would make Ravi surrender.

¨Don’t-ha ha ha-don’t talk to your hyung like that!¨. After loud laughs, kicks and rolls of their bodies they ended side by side with their chests heaving for air.

Moments like this made Wonshik think he was in fact very lucky to have a bandmate who was so close to him like this. They could play like little kids and be silly without judging each other, they needed this sometimes too. All these thoughts were interrupted when he felt Hackyeon hugging him and putting his head on his chest like a kid. In that moment he felt warm inside, even more when Hackyeon said with a shy voice ¨Can I hug you like this?¨.

¨You ask…but you’re already hugging me¨

None of them said a word after that, the only sound that could be heard was their steady heartbeat. Wonshik realized that he didn’t need to go anywhere to get peace when he could always do this. Instead, he wished he could stop time and hug his hyung whenever he felt drained. Selfishly, he also wished that warmth was only for him. He wished-

¨Wonshik-ah, thank you…¨ N said almost whispering against his chest. The sultry voice made his heart skip a beat and a smile appear on his face. his hair lightly, he fell asleep leisurely.

That was the first time he felt that comfortable heat all over his body, making him feel fuzzy in a good way. As he remembered it he felt those weird things on his stomach…but he didn’t wonder what it was. He didn’t because for him it was no use, he knew what it was yet he couldn’t afford that feeling while he lived as an idol…right?

¨Ravi Ravi Ravi Ravi!¨

Yeah, he’d rather enjoy the bliss of being able to spend his life with that cheerful person who made his life better in every way.

a/n: Kind of bittersweet ending...I got so distracted when I was in the middle and when I willed myself to finish writing it became this short ): I changed the ending SO many times too ugh. Anyways, I hope you like it! As always, comment if you like it and if you have any advice or anything to say just comment haha~