PERFECT

You're so mean when you talk about yourself
You're wrong

“But mom, they called me names.”, cried the 7 years old Chaerin, her eyes wet and her face still a bit red.

“Don’t let people put you down, darling.”, her mother said, cleaning the kid’s face with tissue.

“But…”, Chaerin tried.

“Na,na,na!”,  her mother interrupted. “Go wash your face and hands and come to the kitchen. I’ll make us something.”, she pushed the kid lightly by the shoulders.

“Mom! I’m here!”, said the kid, entering the kitchen, taking a chair at the table.

“Here, darling. A sandwich for you.”, her mother smiled, showing her a plate with two delicious breads filled with chopped hot dogs, cheese and spicy ketchup with olives and broken chips.

The little CL lifted her hand to take one of the sandwiches but her mother stopped her, tapping her hand lightly.

“Ouch!”, Chaerin exclaimed. “Mom!”, she yelled, a face of who would cry soon.

“This is a Chaerinduish.”, her mother said like Yoda told Luck about the Force. “This is an awesome sandwich.”, she explained. “ You can have it only if you’re awesome enough to handle it’s awesomeness.”, she finished, facing the kid with a serious expression.

“Are you that awesome, Chaerin?”, CL heard with attention.

“I…”, she started, insecure of her words.

“To be awesome you must be confident.”, her mother interrupted.

“I’m awesome, mom!”, the little CL replied after some seconds of deep thought, putting her small hand into fists. “I’m awesome!”, she repeated.

Chaerin happily accepted the Chaerinduish her mother handed her.

XxX

“Mom! Please, don’t go!”, cried the 15 years old Chaerin, begging her mother not to leave her.

“I love you, Chaerin. Please, be strong. I love you. You’re the awesomest person I know.”, her mother said before closing her eyes, leaving Chaerin desperately sobbing in that small hospital room.

“She’s been holding on for too long.”, the doctors said. “Her cancer was too strong…there wasn’t much that we could do.”, they explained.

CL hid her puffy eyes with sunglasses. It was raining and she believed even the skies were sad for her loss.

“I’ll be awesome for you, mom.”, she looked at the ground. “I promise.”, she whispered as silent tears fell from her tiny eyes.

XxX

“Hey, Sanghyun!”, the 21 years old CL tapped a male’s arm, approaching the table he was with some friends in a cantina.

“Hey, Chaerin.”, the guy shyly replied.

“Woa! Won’t you introduce your friend to us, Thunder?”, said another guy, looking from Sanghyun to CL.

Chaerin eyed the boy up and down, removing her sunglasses. “Sorry, buddy, I’m with Thunder.”, she said, pecking Sanghyun on the cheek. The boy getting as red as the sneakers he had on his feet.

“What were you thinking?”, Thunder asked, still embarrassed, when they left the cantina.

“I was just being defensive.”, CL shrugged simply. “Dara asked me to pick you up. Let’s go.”, she finished, entering her orange jip.

“Come on!”, she said. Thunder entering and sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“Your phone is ringing.”, CL noticed when they reached the avenue.

“It’s nothing.”, Thunder replied, not minding the mobile.

“Get it!”, she exclaimed, the ringtone annoying her.

“No need.”, the boy said, sounding a bit too disappointed. “It’s a girl… we’re over.”, he explained. “Guess I was not that good for her and…” Thunder didn’t finish his sentence.

CL had stopped too suddenly, causing Thunder’s head to hit the front part of the inside of the jip. “THE HELL!”, he exclaimed in pain, a black spot forming on his forehead.

“Don’t ever say you’re not good enough for anyone!”, CL yelled in anger, not giving mini attention to Sanghyun’s hurt.

“You could have killed us!”, he defended himself pointing her suicidal action.

CL didn’t say a word. For an unknown reason she was mad. She looked at him, a mix of emotions in her eyes.

She drove them to Thunder’s house. They entered without speaking to each other.

 “We’re home.”, Thunder lazily moaned as they entered the house, throwing himself in one of the three sofas in the room. He noticed Dara, his older sister, with her boyfriend in the couch.

“Ehem!”, he cleaned his throat, trying to stop the male’s hand to go anywhere else on his sister’s leg.

“Come to the kitchen.”, Chaerin told him, taking him by the arm to the kitchen as she had said.

“Is she his girlfriend?”, Dara’s boyfriend asked, stopping their kissing section.

“Not really.”, Dara answered, shrugging. “Let’s go upstairs?”, she asked, changing the subject, biting her lower lip, facing her boyfriend.

“Oh, you make this baby dragon go crazy when you do like this.”, the male playfully bit Dara’s cheek.

Booth of them laughed hard.

“You hear?”, Sanghyun whispered, scolding CL in the kitchen. “GD is taking my noona to the dark side of the Force!”, he completed, washing his hands in annoyance.

“She’s an adult. She knows what she does.” ,Chaerin didn’t even look at him. She was busy taking stuff from the fridge and containers .

“Here.”, she said after some minutes, taking the apron off, calling Thunder to the table. He followed  the catchy smell in the air.

“What’s this?”, Sanghyun asked while drying his hands with a small towel after washing them again, looking at the two breads filled with chopped hot-dogs, cheese and spicy ketchup with olives and broken chips.

“Dinner.”, CL said simply, getting herself a chair.

Thunder stopped. He looked at her, feeling guilty for scolding her minutes ago.

 “T-thank you.”, he said sincerely. CL knew how to be sweet when she wanted to.

His mouth was watering. Thunder lifted his hand to take one the sandwiches but couldn’t even touch it.

“Ouch!”, he exclaimed when CL tapped his hand with a wood spoon. He was shocked.

“This is a Chaerinduish.”, Chaerin explained not minding Thunder’s gaze on her, her tune very light and calm. “You can have one only if you’re awesome enough to handle it’s awesomeness.”, she repeated her mother’s words.

“Are you awesome enough to eat a Chaerinduish?”, she asked after a pause, pulling the plate closer to Thunder.

Sanghyun didn’t answer. That was not a hard question for him. He looked down to the table, not knowing what to say.

“Don’t ever think you’re less than anyone deserves.”, Chaerin told him, causing Thunder to look back at her, their eyes meeting.

“I…”, he tried to find the words, the situation making him think of everything he’s done in his life.  Thunder was not sure of which words to speak. Why was CL being like that to him?

Sanghyun sighed. In his opinion he was not even close to awesome.

“You’re… perfect.”, CL whispered, rooting for him not to hear her, but he did.

Thunder looked at her instantly. His eyes with a shade of surprise and amusement.

Cl smiled shyly.  She took one of the sandwiches in the plate and took a bite.

 “Woa! Awesome!”, she said with full of Chaerinduish, enjoying the taste of happiness.  Her eyes on Thunder as he kept looking down at the table.

 “Think about it.”, Thunder heard Chaerin saying when she got up from the chair. She left him behind, staring at the Chaerinduish in the plate.

Pretty pretty please
Don't you ever ever feel like you're less than…
less than perfect