Review | LandOfBrownSugar
Dark Desire Shop Batch 3 [CLOSED & Hiring Trailer Makers]"Femme Fatale" written by LandOfBrownSugar
Reviewer: Hannie
Title: [5/5]
Well the title explains the story perfectly. Like PERFECTLY.
Story Poster/Background: [9/10]
It had the two main characters and it had the blue drink, which was kind of one of the main points in the story. It was dark and mysterious just like the title.
Foreword & Description: [6/10]
The description had a fraction of the story in it, which, in my opinion, I don't really like. I like things that aren't too long (which you portrayed well actually) but something that would want the readers to keep reading. If you put even a small fraction of the story, it could spoil it. Even if it is scattered, people can put it together.
Plot: [17/20]
Nothing to say. Sunny went to a club and drank some weird stuff and met a girl. But what really got me and made me want to read more and more and think WHY CAN'T YOU WRITE A FRACKING SEQUEL?!?!? Was the ending. When Sooyoung and Sunny introduced themselves. Even though this can be a typical plot, you portrayed it very well and it really isn't something I read everyday, I must admit.
Characterization: [4/10]
The characterization isn't very that descriptive. The only thing that is descriptive in the characterization is all about Sooyoung, I would appreciate if the others got a good description, even if they're only supporting roles.
Originality: [4/5]
Simple. Something I don't usually read. At all.
Flow: [5/10]
I thought that the flow was going a bit too fast, maybe I thought that it should slow down a bit?
Grammar & Spelling: [18/20]
Your spelling and grammar was great. I could hardly find any mistakes at all.
Overall Enjoyment: [5/5]
Bonus points: [3/5]
Total:
76/100
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