I stood outside the door, wondering what to do. What Seunghyun had said was still ringing in my ears, haunting me. I finally took a deep breath, and walked inside. I was going to do this normally. I could do it.  

 

As soon as I opened the door, Haneul jumped into my arms, as if she had been waiting for me. She probably had. 

 

"Minki~! I missed you. How was your walk?" 

"Ah...it was okay..." 

"Is something wrong?" She asked me, tilting her head. She always did that whenever she asked a question. 

 

I thought swiftly to myself. There was still enough time to back out, I didn't have to go through with it. No, I finally decided. This was for her. 

 

"Have you ever thought about going out with Seunghyun?" 

Haneul laughed magically. "Of course not! You don't have to worry silly. C'mon. Let's go eat something," She started to take my arm, but I backed away. 

"Haneul...I," I readied myself for whatever could happen next, "I think we should break up." 

"W-what are you talking about?" She laughed weakily. 

"I think we should break up," I said again. Please, I thought, please stop making me say it. 

"Yah......stop joking around..." She reached for me but I dodged her again "This isn't funny Minki..." 

"It's not supposed to be. I think we would both be much better off if we just broke up and didn't live together anymore." 

 

The pain in my chest was overwhelming. It took all of my willpower and then some to not burst into tears. I wanted so badly to just hug her. It was obvious that I was hurting her...badly. But I was going to be hurt a lot more in the end. Because I loved her though, I felt like it would be worth it. If she was going to be happier then she is now, then I would be happy too. Or I would at least try.  

 

"How...? W-why? Did I do something wrong? If I did, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Minki, I'll change I swear! Just-" No...you're not doing anything wrong. You're perfect and I never want to let you go. But if you stay with me, you'll just get hurt. If I tell you that though, I know you won't leave. So I'll do the leaving for you. It's all for you Haneul. So please don't think it's your fault...

 

"No...you didn't do anything wrong. I just think-" 

"Why?" She cried loudly, startling me. She took a deep breath and started again, "Why all of a sudden? After more than a year of us being together......why now? How could you...." Haneul was crying harder than ever now. Seeing her eyes pour out water...it was like watching my heart pour out pain. She collapsed onto her knees, and I almost rushed forward to catch her. I stopped myself before I could take a step, reminding myself that if I did, it would all be over. 

 

"Goodbye Haneul." I turned around and headed for the door again. 

"Wait! Minki!" She cried. 

 

I stopped, dead in my tracks. I didn't dare to turn around. I could hear her sobs, but if I looked at her, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. 

 

"Don't go...." She pleaded in a whisper. Just barely making a sound. It made my heart twinge with pain. I closed my eyes tightly, as tears rolled down my cheeks. There was no way I could turn around now. She couldn't see my tears. I took one trembling breath, and walked away. Leaving my entire reason for living behind me.