The silence between the two of you was suffocating.
So much tension, so many unspoken words – excuses, lies; empty words.

                Gazing at him, your eyes roamed over his features. Those wide set of eyes, strong jawline, defined cheekbones. Plump, parted lips and that tan flesh – all familiar. All Jonghyun.

                His eyebrows furrowed, his body shifting as he put most of his balance on the other foot, staring down at you with a curious gaze.
He looked tired, obvious bags under his eyes, and his shoulders were slumped. His hair was messy and unkempt, unlike the normal style it takes on when they perform.

                “Sunyeon-ah,” He breathed, chest falling from the long exhale of your name. “What are you doing here?”

You said nothing. You simply stared with your expression void of emotion, the grip on the folder in your hand tightening with each second that passed by.
                Your lack of a response caused his mouth to twitch down, making him step forward and reach an arm out towards you.
You watched his approaching hand, stepping back to create more distance as you shifted your gaze back to him; the look on his face – confusion, made you angry. The tiny bit of hurt behind it made your heart sting and your eyes water.

Behind him, you could see his companions, glancing over at the two of you with curiousity and worry. They were uncomfortable, you noted. Torn between the decision to stay with their friend or leave this to the two of you.

                You hoped they would leave. You weren’t very fond of the idea of them seeing you break down.
“I’ve been calling you.” You stated blankly, looking down at Jonghyun’s shoes with a tired gaze. “You haven’t answered one. Not even a message saying you were busy or anything. Just…nothing.”

                Looking to the ground, Jonghyun scuffed his feet, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy. With the tour coming up and promotions – I’ve lost track of everything.”

                “For a month?” You asked quietly. “Even during times of comeback stages, you’d text me to tell me you loved me. What happened to that?”
                He stayed quiet, and you didn’t look up at him to see his expression. You didn’t want to.
“I told you, Sunyeon. I was busy—“
“Don’t you dare lie to me, Kim Jonghyun.” The tone in your words was sharp and vicious, and you brought your head up to glower at him, your fingers digging into the smooth material of the papers in your hand. “I know you better than most. And I know that you’re not telling me the truth.”

                Looking up, he met your eyes boldly, staring you down as his eyebrows furrowed and a deep frown marred his face. Your heart wrenched at the look, but you stood your ground, narrowing your eyes at him as you in a deep breath.
                “Sunyeon,” Jonghyun murmured, eyes boring into yours as you regained a steady breathing pattern. “I’m telling you the truth. I promise you. I’ve been working and working and working. I haven’t had the time to call you, so I’m sorry for that.”

                Lies. Lies. Lies.
                Curling your hand tighter around the folder, you pulled it out and tossed it at him. Papers flew from the item and floated to the ground, the folder hitting your companion in the chest, causing him to stumble back in surprise.
                “Explain to me what that is.” You breathed. “…and you tell me that’s not the truth.”
                You could feel the confusion and shock in the air – feel the gazes of the boys behind Jonghyun staring into you r face. But all you could see was Jonghyun.

Swallowing, Jonghyun looked down, squatting down to pick up the fallen sheets of paper. Scattered across the floor, were pictures and large headlines.
                They were imbedded into your mind – replaying over and over like a broken record. The image burned in your mind every time you shut your eyes.
                As his eyes scanned over the expanse of them, you saw him stiffen, snatching up a picture of a couple with smile. The words above it were bolded and huge – nothing you could miss, and something you knew how to recite.
               
“SHINee’s Jonghyun and Shin Sekyung confirmed to be dating.” The words felt like poison leaving your mouth , burning your lips with the implements and the betrayal. You stared down at your so called boyfriend, your lips. “That’s you in the picture right?”
                You watched the Adam’s apple in his throat bob, and the shake of his hand as he held up the photo, mouth parting as his eyes darted over it.
                Slowly, he tilted his head up, a look of exhaust and anxiety on his face. His eyes met your glassy ones – and you tried to keep your cool as he opened his mouth to speak. “…Yes.”
                You swallowed – your heart wrenching at the confession and your throat drying up. Inhaling deep, you bit your lip and shook your head; strands of your hair flew around your skull.
                Your hands shook, so you clenched one into a fist, and pulled the other up to your head, running a hand through your messy hair quickly. Keep moving, you told yourself. The moment you go still you’ll break.

                “Sunyeon,” Jonghyun started, his tone soft.
                The tone made you sick, your heart lurching at the broken sound to it, and the water formed in your eye ducts, threatening to spill.
                “Don’t.” You snapped, eyes snapping up his gaze as you glared, pulling your fists down to your sides. “I don’t want to hear my name right now – what I want to hear,” You stopped, in a shaky breath. “…is the truth. Are you, or are you not, dating Shin Sekyung?”
                The tone of your voice was raised to borderline shouting, and has gained the attention of the four members behind Jonghyun, all of them gaping and shocked.
                Jonghyun didn’t flinch from the tone of your voice, only gaze at you indifferently, his lips as he formed words in his head that would either break your heart, or confuse you. In all honestly, you were sure you were going to be a bit of both.
                Swallowing the lump in your throat, you looked at him – your stare full of fear and hope.
                Please. You chanted in your head. Please tell me it’s a lie – please tell me what I want to hear. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Please.

                “I’m sorry.” The words that escaped his mouth couldn’t have been more of a hit to your heart.
No denying, no excuses – just an apology.
                You didn’t know what was worse, the fact he didn’t try and defend himself, or the fact you had waited this long before confronting him.

                Two years you had devoted – six if you were counting those years of friendship before your relationship.
Two years – of sacrificing dreams to follow the one you deemed to be everything.
                Everything, all you ever knew – just crashed and burned through means of a stupid newspaper article.

                “…That’s all you have to say?” Your words held no emotion, completely stripped away by his statement. You could only stare at him, your thoughts in disarray. “You’re sorry? That’s all you can come up with?”

                Jonghyun glanced at you through his lashes, his eyes flickering with regret and pain – I’m the one in pain not you. Don’t look like that.

                You opened your mouth to say more, but a choked sob escaped your lips, tears finally breaking through and sliding down your pale, wan cheeks. You stuck your hand in your pocket, fingers grasping the chain at the bottom; jerking it out of its confines, you tossed it at the man in front of you.
                The ring dangling from the silver necklace hit the ground in front of his feet, making a dull noise as it hit the carpet. The action caused his eyes to flicker down toward it, eyes widening by a fraction as his head snapped up, mouth gaping wide as he spluttered, “Wait, Sunyeon! Let’s talk about this for a moment –“

                “I don’t want to.” Your voice was quiet, but the firm tone was there. You were done with this conversation, done with pain.
                Leave. Get out. Get away from him before you fall.
                “I’m leaving first.” You continued softly, gazing anywhere but him, your eyes still releasing liquid sorrow.
“I hope she’s there for you, seeing as my help didn’t work out too much, right?” You scoffed.
                Moving on shaky steps, you pushed past Jonghyun, shaking off his hand when it landed on your arm in an effort to stop you. You moved past all of them, ignoring the hesitant calls of Taemin and Key as they protested your leave – but you didn’t care.

                You needed solace in the form of your home, far away from him.