Kim Joon Myun, or Suho, so I used to call him. Suho means guardian. Yes, my beloved boyfriend is someone who is always watching over me. He is my first love, my boyfriend since three years ago.. My humorist boyfriend, a boy who never looked angry, very considerate and gentle, very clever, very wise, my PERFECT boyfriend, and I love him so much.

God made us met through Chanyeol. Chanyeol is my bestfriend and he close with Suho too. At first I felt silly with this kind of friendship, but the more I know him, the more I feel comfortable with him. I knew him when I was 13 years old, very young right ? We decided to be friends first to know more about each other.

On July 12, 2009, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I accept it. At that time he gave me a big teddy bear and a box of chocolates. Until now I still have that teddy in my room, sleep with me every night.

We have been together over 3 years, our family also close each other. I called his parents “Umma n Appa” so does him. I thought he is my destiny, I hope so. ..

One night, he called me

"Hello baby, what are you doing?" His soft voice asked me

"Nothing, just waiting for your call hehe, how about you?"

"I’m talking to the cutest girl in the world. Baby ~  the day after tomorrow is my birthday, do you remember? "

"Of course I remember dear, why"

"What will you give to me?" Asked Suho, from his tone he looks so enthusiastic.

DEG! O_O I'm still confused what will I give for him on his special day

"Um secret! You may not know "I

"Come on baby ~. By the way, do you know about ML ? "

Suddenly I was shocked to hear Suho asked about it. I was afraid he would ask that thing from me, for now, I'm not ready to do it.

"Making Love? Of course , we've made love, hehe”

"Kyungsoo baby, why are you so innocent huh?"

I just laughed, I actually know what that means. It's just that I do not want to discuss it, I've never even kissed him. Just a kiss on the cheek or forehead -_-

***

The next day he came to my house. The atmosphere was very quiet at my house, no single person in my house. I can only pray that God will help me, to have someone come in and he did not ask me to do that thing. Maybe my mind juss too much, but it seems that God hear my prayer. My mother came home earlier than usual.  Fyuh~~

Joonmyun's Special Day

Today is the special day. I will not give surprise right in the middle of the night like other lovers do. His family celebrated his birthday by inviting me to dinner at his house. After dinner, we sat on the edge of the pool. We dipped our feet in the water, and I  gave him a gift.

"Suho, it's a gift for you. I know this is not much, don’t look at the price, look at my struggle to get it. I bought it from my own money, take it" I smiled and gave him a gift box.

"Thanks baby, you do not need to give me a gift, just you by my side on my special day is the most beautiful gift for me, thank you, Baby” Suho rubbed my hair and asked "Can I open it?"

"Of course dear, open it" I smiled can’t wait to see his reaction

He slowly unwrapped the gift, open the cover box cover, and I saw happiness on his face.

I gave him a pair of white shoes that he liked. Limited edition shoes, so I had to try hard to find, but luckily there are people who sell that shoes even though it was the only one left.

"Baby ................."

"Yes, dear?”

"Thank you. Thank you so much " I saw tears in the corner of his eyes

"No need to thanks baby, it's not comparable to what you gave to me" I smiled and put my arm around his shoulder.

He put the box, looked at my face, and then he kissed my lips gently.

On our third anniversary, he came to my house and give me a ring. He put it on my finger

"Looks cute, and suit with you" He pecked my lips

"Thanks dear" I hugged him tightly

"Happy 3rd Anniversary baby ~ thanks for caring, believing, loving, I love you so much"

"Love you more my guardian angel !”

We spent the day at my house. Watch a romantic movie all day long ~

***

It's been three days no news from Suho, he did not even send me text message. His number also inactive. I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm nervous. I always think about him. I did not even care about my own health so my mom felt worried about how I was doing.

I decided to come to his house. When I reached his home, I asked his mom

"Umma, where is Suho?"

"Suho is going out to other city, in a few days he'll be back"

"Umma, why Suho being like this? I did not even make a mistake " I was showing a sad face in front of his mother

"Kyungsoo, Suho must be missing you too. Be patient ne? " His mom rub my hair gently

“But why he didn’t tell me?"

"Because of an emergency, he went with his father, do not worry dear" His mom trying to calm me down.

I left Suho house, when I met Chanyeol on the way back to home. I didn’t satisfied with Suho mom answer, I asked Chanyeol

“Yeolli, please answer honestly, where is Suho? "

"You must have heard from his mom, right?"

"Do not lie to me! My feelings say another, I don’t believe it "

With a sad face Chanyeol holding my shoulder and said,

"Kyungsoo, I’m sorry ............."

My heart beat faster and faster. What is this feeling? What happened?

"Suho didn’t call you for few days .... He suffered a traffic accident while back from your home. He was not injured, he crashed into a tree, the tree fell to his car and hit his chest. As we know he had asthma. He couldn’t breathe and then.......he.....died " Chanyeol said sadly.

The next day I woke up, my eyes swollen. How can I live without him? I see him everyday and now he left me alone :(

Suho, why do not you want me to cry in front of your body? But your mother can. Why can not I hold you for the last time? But your friends can. If that day you didn’t come to my house maybe now you’ll be right here in front of me singing my favorite song with your gentle voice.

We can’t go to the bookstore together again, we can’t play the piano anymore, can’t cook for you anymore. I never touched the piano again because I'm definitely going to play songs that often you play for me, FurElise, Bethoveen song who played by Leonardo da Vinci for the Mona Lisa. I miss you :(

Suho was gone, leaving me alone here with all the sweet memories of him. While dancing in the rain, eating ice cream, playing bubbles in the park, I often cook for him even though my cooking is not as good as his mother's cooking.

Suho, maybe my love isn’t greater as God’s love, but you have to know that I love you, always, forever. You're a very nice and kind boy, I see you like seeing the most beautiful angel.

God, please keep him well. He's my prince

You’ll be in my heart, my Guardian Angel, Kim Joonmyeon