#8

Chaerin was silent beside Kim Hyun Joong as they drive to get to their destination; the Kim’s Flower Farm. The sights that they passed by should have taken her breath, especially when miles and miles of colorful rows of a variety of flowers stretched like land base giant rainbows but nothing made a single positive reaction from her.

She would just check her phone, minute after minute, for messages but was always disappointed when she saw none. “Hey,” Hyun Joong greeted with a smile – last two nights’ conversation forgotten. “If you greet the flowers with that kind of face, I am sure they will all wilt because of the sourness.”

Chaerin looked at him and gave a small smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try my best to smile when we get there.” She then turned back her gaze to the outside view and sighed again before checking her phone.

“If you’re worried about Jiho, I am sure Aunt and Uncle Kwon are taking a good care of him.” He guessed as he turned the wheels to the left. “The couple adores the kid like their own grandson.” It was a hidden tease – one that almost urged her to agree that Jiho was like a grandson to the Kwon couple.

“That’s the problem.” Chaerin replied with a little force.

“What is?” Hyun Joong asked back.

“I didn’t leave him with Aunt and Uncle.” She admitted at last before giving out a labored sigh. “I left him with Jiyong.”

Her companion almost stepped on the brakes after he heard that she left her son to the man he thought last of. He quickly hid his shocked reaction and offered a comforting voice.

“Um, why worry?” He asked. “As I have witnessed that night I came for our meeting,” He heard Chaerin hideaway a chuckle. “Jiyong and that photocopied boy of your are rather close. I’m sure no harm would reach Jiho as long as he’s around.”

She didn’t have to say anything or move a bit – because he felt it. Chaerin tensed and immediately retreated to the shell she protected herself with.

Thinking that he’ll try to talk her to telling him the truth later on, he finally stepped on the brakes and smiled at her, “Well, welcome to The Haven.”

**

Jiyong looked over from his MAC and watched the little boy on his offices’ couch play with his iPad. He smiled before he stretched. “Jiroo-ah,” he called as he started his walk towards the little boy who was too happy to be staying with his uncle.

Jiyong sat beside him and patted his dark brown hair. “Appa,” Jiho called before he moved closer to the older one and showed his score on Temple Run. “If you top my score in Templed Run, I’ll give you a hug.”

Jiyong raised his brow before giving out the grin he was hiding. “A big hug?”

“A big hug!” Jiho said before he gave his iPad to his uncle. “How do you play this?” He asked with a small laugh before he randomly tapped at the supposed to be instructions and started playing. “Wah—Appa, low, low, low!!” the boy announced while Jiyong started to play hysterics as his character went over the bridge.

They both shared a laugh before Jiyong said that he would try again.

The talk that he and Chaerin shared two nights ago was forced on the back of his head so head could keep up the almost civil relationship they both had. But that doesn’t mean that the matter was forgotten.

He never tried to force the truth from her again even it made him curious day by day. Never tried to question who little Jiho’s father was. He didn’t even voiced out his want to be the little boy’s standing father while she look and fall for one – even though the mere thought of him made him approach depression.

“Oh, I fell again.” He thought as he his character fell again. Jiyong pouted and looked at the smiling boy beside him and said, “I guess I lose that big hug, huh buddy?”

Jiho shook his head and gave his Uncle a big hug, “Aigoo, appa, aigoo.”

He returned the hug of the boy, asking himself again why he can’t be the father of this sweet child he now considered as his very own.

“Jiho-ah.” He called at the boy whose arms were still around his neck. Jiyong was answered by silence but knew that the boy was listening. “Appa really loves you.”

He felt as slight tension from Jiho and was quickly afraid if he said the wrong words. But when Jiho released him and faced Jiyong with a smile, he knew everything was okay. “Appa, I love you too.”

Though, Jiyong didn’t know how much Jiho treasured the mere words he uttered. The worth of the affection was more than any material gift he received in his little lifetime.

**

Chaerin recalled the night before – the one where she was packing some clothes on Jiho’s little back pack for his small stay with uncle. Her son was calmly sitting on their bed, patiently waiting for his mother to finish so they could go to sleep together.

They tried to play it normal for Jiho, so the little boy who was already too happy to have someone to call ‘appa’ won’t feel the awkwardness between his beloved ‘parents’. Also, she never forbid or distanced Jiho from Jiyong because she knew how much the man meant for her boy. It was now more than a simple friendship between them, it was deeper. And her heart ached for the unknown.

“Omma.” Jiho called before she cleared her thoughts to face her cute son, “Yes, baby?”

“Why don’t I have a real appa?” If she wasn’t looking at Jiho, she could have been fooled at his light tone, but she was looking at him and saw that some hints of sadness were on his little cat eyes. And somehow, she wondered if she would have to be angry towards his question – or maybe to the man who made him realize that he have to ask that question.

But she knew better; knew that both of them were innocent of it.

She abandoned her packing and sat beside him. Chaerin gathered Jiho on her arms and asked why he was asking his question. “Why do my friends have a Mama and a Papa and I only have an Omma?”

A question answered by a question, “Am I a bad boy that Papa God gave me only one while my friends have two, Omma?”

Her heart ached at his question… because honestly speaking, she didn’t know what to say to even ease the small hurt in Jiho’s eyes.

“Lee Chaerin-ssi?” A woman’s voice disturbed her thoughts before she forced herself to look at the kind looking woman who called her. “Um, yeah?”

“Are you okay? You look a bit unwell.” The woman told her with a smile. “Of course, ahjumma. The sun is a little bit high but I’m okay.” Chaerin smiled and the woman returned it. She was Hyun Joong’s farm caretaker and was touring them for a while.

But despite their age difference, Chaerin was the one who got tired first and asked for a break. But she regretted it because right when she was enjoying the view of the lilacs that stretched until her eyes could see, her mind dragged her to thought she preferred to store in the deepest part of her unconscious.

The woman joined her on the seat, “The lilacs are blooming this season, aren’t they?” the elderly asked and Chaerin agreed for the nice full colors of the lilacs shone bright and wonderful against the bright sun.

“Hyun Joong oppa used to give me lilacs back in college. I made fun of him because he liked flowers which I thought was too girly.” She offered a chuckle as the woman nodded. “Flowers hold wonderful meaning, Chaerin-ssi. Do you know the meaning of lilacs?” The woman asked as she looked at the man approaching them. The man who smiled and held a set of lilacs in his hands.

Chaerin followed the woman’s gaze and back. The woman’s eyes held a motherly gaze and for that, Chaerin smiled and answered the question with a no.

“Lilacs stand for the emotions of an early love, the love that is thought and considered to be the only love that is never forgotten in one’s heart.” Her words made Chaerin thought of the boy who captured her heart for the first time before.

She thought of them possible but like the huntsman in the Snow White fairytale, he gained her trust and broke her heart one faithful night.

“Have you loved like a lilac, Chaerin-ssi?” The woman asked and Chaerin gave her a bittersweet smile.

“I have – and I’ll never forget that.” She smiled before the woman stood up. “I see, but please take care of our Hyun Joong, he has the habit of giving you lilacs.” Then she left before Hyun Joong stepped in and made Chaerin wonder what she could mean of it.

“I see Nana is quite fond of you.” Hyun Joong said after he gave her the flowers. “So I have arranged it already, a thousand white roses and six hundred fifty tulips for that engagement party of your client.” He smiled.

“And will I have discount from you?” she asked and Hyun Joong thought that she was playing with her aegyo unconsciously.

“Of course, anything for my dongsaeng.” Oh how can he resist her?

She gave a quick laugh but as fast as it came, it left – making him thought that she was back on her thoughts again. “Chaerin, what really happened five years ago?” He asked carefully, making sure that he asked smooth enough not to make her retreat to her defenses and block any comfort offered of her.

“I want to know so I could help.” He added and thought of the pain in her eyes whenever she looked at Jiho and Jiyong. The pain held a lot of confusion and guilt that it hurt him.

“Jiho is…” Hyun Joong started and inhaled deeply before he completed his words he knew would only add to both their hurts, “Jiyong’s – isn’t he?”

They didn’t look at each other.

He stared at the massive flower farm he inherited while she kept on looking at the lilacs. My first love.

He heard her give a nervous laugh. “Even before we became friends, you know that I already liked Jiyong right, oppa?” She asked but he didn’t answer. One thing she liked about him is that whenever she talked, he didn’t interfere. He was supposed to be there to listen, not hear her reasons.

“I liked him for a very long time, but it was in college I understood that it was deeper than that.” She reminisced their moments together. How close they were – how much she covered for his follies and him being forced to answer her Math homework.

Many had thought they were going to end up together and secretly, she hoped they were right. But then, “But then he always liked her…remember Park Min Hye?”

Oh, that girl. Hyun Joong thought as he nodded to acknowledge her question. Park Min Hye was Jiyong’s girlfriend for the entirety of their college lives, the girl who was too social and flirty for her own good. It was quite a wonder how they lasted that long.

“She was the one for him he said. And I, as his ever loyal best friend, had to support him even though we all saw how bad she was for him.” She said and he almost see the memories play right before her eyes as if her eyes were a flat screen TV and her memories, a dvd to be played all over again.

“Min Hye was perfect except that her only flaw was her vanity.” Chaerin sighed as she remembered how the girl with her snob self ignored Chaerin because she dressed like a boy before – being part of Jiyong’s group of friends who were all boys as well.

“And because of that she thought that everybody was willing to kiss the floor she was walking on.” Jiyong used to follow her like a lovesick puppy and how much Chaerin had to put up for his silly gimmicks whenever the couple fought and he had to beg for her forgiveness even though she was at fault.

“Jiyong was the only one who was blind.” Chaerin said as she didn’t allow the one tear to escape her lids. “He was too blind to notice that I was there, as in really there for him who could appreciate and love him more…

“But he never saw me until she broke his heart with a slap of a cheating kiss with another guy that night.” Chaerin looked at Hyun Joong, “That night was the start, oppa. Everything went downhill and I had enough.”

A/N: A small hint on what happened five years ago.