The End

Our last bow…

Girls’ Generation last bow happens a few seconds ago in front of millions of SONES who’s waving Pink neon stick back and forth.

If it wasn’t our last performance, this would probably be one of the highlight moment in our show.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

After years of achieving dreams together and living our life to the fullest, it has come to an end by this very own Girls’ Generation Ultimate concert.

I can see that our kid leader was holding her breathe, whilst holding her ‘wife’ for eternity, Tiffany unnie who’s in tears.

Having our last performance does that, but the other reason on why tiffany unnie was practically flooding the stage was the fact that knowing one of the Royal Ship, TaeNy, has finally ended.

Why? It is sad to say that, Tiffany Unnie is no longer staying in Korea after this. She has decided that, she wants to move to her hometown and follow other dream that she long to do, as a fashion designer.

Taeyeon Unnie, on the other hand, still pursues her singing career.

And that’s makes everything complicated.

TaeNy is real alright, its just that, they never really got together.

Being gay in Korea is definitely a NO-NO.

All this years, they were committed to one another… unofficially.

They never really dated people, the most that dating time consume would probably be around 3-4 months top.

With Taeyeon and Tiffany unnie jealousy of each other’s respective so-called-date, that 3-4 months was the longest that they could go on.

Both of them love each other to the core, it’s sad that some people doesn’t really see the love, instead only hating the thought of the same gender end up together.

And,

There’s Yuri unnie.

I scrutinize her as tears falling from her eyes.

She is still awkward.

Standing still, with her left hand hanging loose whilst right resting on her forearms.

Occasionally, I caught her, glancing at the left side of the stage.

I wasn’t sure what was she looking at so I move a little.

Jessica unnie.

Ah, the Sapphic story of the Royal ship, entitle “Yulsic”.

Aside from TaeNy, Yulsic made me cry more than once.

Why so?

Yuri Unnie, change a lot… like A LOT because of Yulsic.

She used to be this fun, kkab person.

But, as the times goes by, she change into a person that most people wouldn’t expect her to be.

Shy, graceful…. And feminine.

She wouldn’t talk too much during variety shows and some sorts.

It was tiring to look at, well, for me it is.

Sure, growing up is an obligation, means you become mature and all.

But, it wasn’t the way she is, and I m sure Sones realizes that.

 She loves Sica Unnie deeply.

And so does Sica-Unnie.

The thing is, the management and the society doesn’t think that way.

The way they express their love to one another was a little bit too much, they say.

The handholding and the hugging

The sweet name calling, ‘seobang’ and ‘baby’

They were called by the management numerous times because of that.

And at some point, it makes Jessica unnie cry.

Yuri Unnie hated that. She hated the fact that they were scolded because they love one another,

She hated the fact that society were beginning to doubt Jessica and her’s uality.

She would do anything for her, and that includes

Staying away to make Sica Unnie’s life easier.

Thus, the sudden transformation.

Now, the disbandment of Girls’ Generation would either make her or break her. It will make her in a way that, she finally frees herself from being chain by the upper level thought and opinion regarding her life. I know that she’s getting tired of pleasing others and attain people’s expectation. Yes, being an idol does that to people. Nobody is going to fathom the pain and misery that we been through except ourselves. This even would halt her too, in a way that, she is going to be forever away from the one her soul yearned for. The love that her ambiance wishes she could have and the soul that she desires to own.

She was too in love to realize that she’s falling from the crystalline sky. She was blinded by the wings of friendship and the pedestal of sisterhood.

I guess, she would never grasp that. I wanted to knock some sense in her head. I really do. But I can’t. it’s just impossible. She isn’t going to listen to me anyway. My words are only going to vanish into thin air that she couldn’t make out.

Turning my gaze from Yuri-unnie, I lock my stare upon my ‘twin’.

Sooyoung Unnie.

My Shikshin buddy

She was practically downpour the stage with her crystal liquid, as it didn’t show that it’s going to stop anytime soon. She’s clutching her tall frame onto my beloved sunshine Unnie.

Those two are weird in away, but they complement each other a lot. They’re The Soosun couple. The taller and the showty pairs as people would say.

There’s not much of interactions that going on between them these days. Nevertheless, their love never weaver.

I remember that one time when Sunny Unnie had her boy cut look, and when Sooyoung Unnie had her long wavy tresses, they really reminded me of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. Its funny and cute at the same time.

And, there’s Hyoyeon Unnie.

She’s smiling all the way. Don’t be mistaken by her beam, as I know and as we all know, that it’s only a façade.

Covering the immense unhappiness that clouded her mind.

She love Soshi down to the core. All of us do. I remember that she used to states that she doesn’t really care whether she’s at the back nor front formation in our numbers, as long as she’s doing what she love and with sisters that she adore. Nothing would hold her down.

She’s the dancing mechanism

She’s the entertainer of our group

And I’m going to miss her soo much.

She told the management and other soshi’s members that she is going to pursue her career as a dancer in the United States.

Heading for the Hollywood limelight, as she would say it.

I assure you that she is going to be the next star from Korea.

Perhaps she would be the lead role of Step Up revolution comeback. Who knows?

Jessica Jung

One of my favourite Unnie’s in SNSD,

You got to love the hair.

Seriously, she has one of the softest tresses that rarely woman could possess nowadays.

Anyway, I’m off the track.

I don’t really know what is she going to do after this. One thing for sure, she is not going to leave Krystal behind.

She doesn’t want to be a singer as well, nor actress.

Perhaps a writer or even being a director for some famous magazine, since she love that square cut tree recycle thingy.

And yes, I was referring to books, ladies and gentleman.

She’s still single though, not sure why.

Maybe she still is looking for the one. Or, she still waiting for THE ONE who’s in front of her and blind, I might say, to make a move.

She misses Yuri Unnie, she told me that every night before she went to sleep.

She used to tell Yuri unnie that, as they get older, she didn’t want Yuri Unnie to change. She dislikes the fact that her ‘Kwon Seobang’ is getting quieter. She misses the old Yuri. I bet all of soshi members and Sones misses the kkab Yul too.

Now, at this very moment, I could tell that what Sica Unnie needed the most is, her ‘husband’ comfort and warmth.

Yuri unnie is reluctant. So, Sica Unnie clutch herself into Seohyun and Hyoyeon’s embrace.

Seohyun

My Seohyunnie

My Hyunnie

My Seororo

My beautiful lovely dongsaeng.

Nothing can describe how beautiful you really are right now. Even when your eyes sparkle because of the tears.

Last night, before you went to sleep, I could hear your whisper, telling me that you are going to lose your sisters by the end of the performance, which is right now.

No, do not think of it that way. I wanted to tell you that this is not the end of the relationship that we have after all these years.

I wanted to say those things to you, but I bet my voice was too soft that it lulls you as the sandman grasp you right after.

For years, until now, I would always and still telling myself that how amazingly stupid I am for not showing you how I really felt about you. I wish I could go back in time and practically hit my head-using shovel so that I could realize how this feeling that I had, is foreign and nothing similar to sisterly love.

I regret it a lot.

I miss the time that we used to share together during school session

During, college life

Even alone time when we were free from our frenzied agenda as SNSD.

I miss the smell of your sweet potatoes that you love soo much

I miss the late night watching re-run of Keroro’s that you deem to watch even when you’re dead beat.

I regret a lot not having the chance to feel those soft and tender lips against mine

I regret that the time that I had you in my arms, the feeling doesn’t really shows.

If only I knew, I would cherish it forever.

If only I knew, I would try my hardest to put a smile on your face each and every day.

As I was about to reach your hand, the stadium roars by the chant of our beloved Sones.

ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!

My heart fills with pride. And that goes for other members too.

Taeyeon Unnie took the stance, holding the microphone secure in her petite hand, whilst her other hand was occupied with encircling Tiffany Unnie’s waist.

“Thank you… thank you very much” she murmurs, holding back her sob “We could never done it without you”

She turns to her sides, looking at all the members, seeking for permission to grant Sones wish, for one more last song.

Then, Taeyeon Unnie’s tears rolling down her check. It must have been painful for her to say the next line.

Believe me, I would know.

Then suddenly, on the big screen behind us, shows a picture of Im YoonA. Yup, a picture of me.

I turn to look at Taeyeon unnie once more.

“Our last song, we wanted to dedicate it to our 9^th member”

The stadium was in silence almost immediately.

The Kid leader took a deep breathe,

“The loss of our beloved 2^nd Shikshin, Im Flounder, Him-yoonA and the prankster of Girls’ Generation is a great defeat in our life”

She stops, Tiffany unnie tighten her grip onto Taeyeon’s waist, encourage her to finish the speech.

The members was already burst in tears.

I smile at the scene. This will forever be the most memorable picture in my heart.

I was there in every step that they made after the unfortunate accident that happened to me years ago.

I was there when Taeyeon unnie couldn’t speak a word that night, whilst holding on to Tiffany’s Unnie who’s couldn’t stop her tears from over flowing.

I was there when Yuri Unnie comfort Sica Unnie who’s wailing by the sudden news.

I was there when Sooyoung Unnie stares at the ceiling, with the tears in her eyes, whilst Sunny Unnie burst into tears.

I was there when Hyoyeon Unnie shuts her eyes, bearing all the pain inside at the same time holding my Hyunnie who’s in despair.

I was there,

I saw all of it.

And it hurts a lot.

”YoonA-ah… we hope that you would be here with us. We really do, we love you soo much, and SNSD is nothing without the nine of us”

Eight members bow down upon SONES…

And I smile,following their lead

then the melody fills the air