Author's note: This is kind of short, but yeah, this is one response to the scandal. I'm comtemplating writing another in the viewpoint of Hyukjae but I'm not sure yet. Anyway, please enjoy~

He wasn’t stupid; he knew what he was getting into when he first got together with Hyukjae, but still, having the betrayal posted on twitter where everyone can see? Yeah, that hurt like hell. This wasn’t the first affair, or the last, but he will continue to endure the pain just so he can keep his flimsy excuse to stand beside Hyukjae. It was an accident; their first kiss, a drunken mistake, but it happened and in turn escalated into more than just heated touches and fevered kissing, a one night courtship would be words too fair for such a joining, as it was, bluntly, just raw ; a release of ual frustrations if you will. They held no shame in it afterwards, though. Hyukjae declaring it’d be best if they just forgot about it because it meant nothing. But Donghae could never forget the way Hyukjae’s hands left trails of heat that sent shivers down his spine the way no woman ever did or could.

Their next joining happened a bit less drunken than the first only a week later. Hyukjae had just broken up with girlfriend number five of that month, and Donghae had been there, as any best friend would be, to his hair and listen to his friend’s half hearted declarations of yet another broken heart. Hyukjae initiates the kiss, but Donghae continues it. Just some break up , Hyukjae murmurs, the sweat glistening off his brow as he bends down to kiss the birthmark on Donghae’s neck, don’t worry; it means nothing. But for Donghae, it was already too late; that kiss meant nothing and everything.

It happens a few more times before Hyukjae realizes that they have to place a label on this nothing so as not to get the situation confused; best friends who occasionally get drunk, although not always, and fall into bed together. Not a romantic relationship, but not quite a ‘friends with benefits’ deal either. There is a friendship underneath the lust and passionate touches that neither men wanted to lose, but Hyukjae certainly wasn’t gay, at least to Donghae’s knowledge, and he supposed it was easier for Hyukjae to write off their joining as one of an act of ual frustration; a comfort of sorts. Donghae did not voice his disapproval of the notion, but he certainly wasn’t too eager for a non-committed relationship with his best friend when he knew he had feelings that wouldn’t be reciprocated.

“Donghae...” Hyukjae mumbles in his half-asleep daze from the doorway, “did you see it?”

Donghae simply sighs in response to which Hyukjae takes as invitation enough to sluggishly wander over to the edge of the bed and make his way under the covers. He knows that Donghae will not turn him away.

“It meant nothing,” Hyukjae breathes into Donghae’s hair, finishing the sentence with a kiss onto his forehead, “You know that right?”

Donghae is no longer sure which one of them Hyukjae is trying to reassure, because Hyukjae is no longer looking at him.

“It was a mistake,” He chants with a half sigh on his lips. And so Donghae shifts to cradle Hyukjae’s head on his chest, an arm wrapped around his neck to his hair. Hyukjae shares his worries about his image; if he will lose fans, and gain anti fans, and cries into Donghae’s chest. Donghae hooks his left leg around Hyukjae’s waist to pull him closer to his chest, but remains silent. He wants to say so much, but he knows that it will never be enough, and so he keeps his lips shut, content to just hold Hyukjae for now until Hyukjae asks for something more.

Eventually, Hyukjae’s tears stop, his head turning up to Donghae’s neck to blow air into his ear. Donghae gasps, but does not push him away. Soon enough Hyukjae is on his earlobe, a hand crawling up Donghae’s shirt, but hesitating on the naval in a silent request to continue. Donghe moans, and Hyukjae takes that as an affirmation to pull off his purple v-neck.

Sometimes Donghae wonders if Hyukjae is imagining someone else, perhaps an ex girlfriend, whenever they are intimate. It’s not as if Hyukjae moans another girl’s name or anything like that, but sometimes, especially after he first breaks up with a girl, he will close his eyes or rest his head on Donghae’s shoulder until he finishes. During these times, Donghae closes his eyes, too, only instead of a girl, he imagines Hyukjae looking straight at him and purring that he loves him.

Once everything is done, and Donghae is sure Hyukjae is asleep, Donghae whispers “I am your nothing, and you are my everything. Please let me pretend, for just this moment, that I am your everything, too.”