This Chapter is splitted into two

Eunhyuk POV

From a tiny rosebud to become a full flower

We unfold it sweetly

Then in your hand it dies

Withered with falling petals

It’s ended. Yeah, this is the thing I wanted from beginning when Yoona came back to Korea, isn’t it? But why does it feels hurt? Like a ton weight has pressed down to my chest. Is it because our affair was ended not by me but him?

“I Loved You”

I giggle. How he could say thing like that so easily. If only he knows how my life is been messed up after meeting him. Like a bottle of whine. The more you get drunk, the more it cloud up your mind. I have a best wife I have ever met who’s willing give her all and fall to my arms for the rest of her life yet here now everytime I blink my eyes, I only could see him.

“Honey?”

I am jerked up in a second after she called my name “Hm? You’re awake, Yoon”. I stared to the woman in my embrace. She hit my chest lightly “Silly, I’ve called you many times but you’re busy spacing out with opened eyes. What were you thinking? Don’t tell me you had someone else when I was away”.

I carress some strands of her hair and place them nicely behind her ears “I am thinking of... you”. I cup her cheek gently then run my fingers to her hip but I am startled as all of a sudden her face changes to become him again.

I quickly sit from the bed, feels a sudden headache. I run my hands through my hair then massage my temple. She holds my shoulder “You’re okay?”.

I look at her eyes. I keep telling myself that this is the woman of my life. She’s the one who really I fall in love with.

I met her five years ago. We bumped to each other while walking through our campus corridor. Her smile was like an angel. She’s so popular among students especially guys. Everyone believed the guy who could date her was the luckiest person ever since she was not only beautiful but also a daughter of a wellknown chaebol in Seoul. Later I knew she was one of my fan who often watched my soccer practice. How it’s fluttering me so bad when I first received her love letter and told me that she liked me. Then we dated. She always made me smile and had special ways to wipe my sadness. I felt like the happiest guys on earth. At that time, I was sure that it’s love. It’s our true love. That’s why we decided to get married at such a young ages.

But later I also met him. A man who had me in his hand then crushed me like a withered leaf. His eyes were like a sharp blade tearing a thick shell of my secure heart, his smiles penetrated inside and left it’s poison in the deepest place which even Yoona never could make it. But I never let he know the fact that he‘s the one who made it beating crazily only for him even until now.

Everyday was torture as I tried so hard to hold my feeling. Loneliness of getting far away from Yoona never helped either. When knowing he had the same feeling as me, I couldn’t bring myself as my body moved by itself and breaking any seals of any forbidden things for a married man.

He knew from beginning he couldn’t expect much from this relationship. He said he understood. But his eyes told me otherwise. That’s why I couldn’t give my all to him so when the time come to an end, neither both of us would be much hurted. But day after day together with him made me upset even more because thanks to him I gradually doubted my own feeling toward my wife and even keep asking myself what actually ‘love’ is.

With Yoona it’s calming and comfortable as if I could life forever with piece. While with him,  it’s like an endless addiction. Every seconds were like being chased by something invisible which never let my heart take a break even for a short moment. I have tried many times to get out, but everytime I took a step to leave, it’s like I lossing my breath and something inside my chest stinged even more. It’s hurt. Really hurt. So I turned around and fall to his embrace again which felt like a bandage for a broken bone. His every touch and kiss were worth a million lifetimes.

I know I had hurt him many times with my actions and it made him thought I had used him only as a partner all this time. If only he know how much I feel for him. How much it hurt me seeing his eyes whenever I left his place. How many times I tried to hold an urge to go back then hug him, kiss him, and say ‘I love you’ to him.

I know I don’t deserve him. He deserves better. That way I let him think of me as a bad man. But in the end, he’s the one who casted me away. I thought I was more than ready when he said a good bye like that. But I am wrong...