「review」: Christmas Story I: Jung Seyoon's Christmas Hero || Jinjinjin
「missy cookie reviews」
Christmas Story I: Jung Seyoon's Christmas Hero
by: jinjinjin
Title — 1/5
Your title was boring. Plain boring. It didn't grab my attention at all. Readers tend to find titles a pretty accurate predictor of whether they will enjoy the fic, so work on your title.
Description/Foreword — 8/10
It accurately portrayed the content of the story and it was captivating. I wouldn't say it was great, but the description was honestly pretty well written. I detest A/Ns, I really do,
but your A/N was absolutely adorable and I enjoyed reading it.
Originality/Creativity — 8/10
'angel' fics are common here on AFF, but this fic was special. It was adorable and sweet and I really like it.
Plot — 8/10
Even though the plot itself is cliched, it always narrows down to how the author conveys the story. Baekhyun was properly characterized, and both of their personality and
maturity level seemed appropriate for their stated age. However, I felt that Seyoonwas a little too perfect. She didn't have any flaws.
Grammar/Spelling — 9/10
Both your grammar and spelling are alright, save a few typos here and there. You tend to miss out a spacing between to words.
Writing Skill/Flow — 18/20
You do not misuse words, and you do write sufficient details for the readers to imagine the situation. The only thing is that you do not use a range of vocabulary.
As for the flow, the order of events made sense, and your story didn't feel rushed or dragged. There's something I don't understand though.
How did Seyoon die right after meeting Baekhyun? Is it because she lost too much blood or...? I feel that there's a need to address this to your readers.
Apperance — 18/20
I didn't find myself getting a headache while trying to read your story. The font was presentable and neat, but the colors you used were unnecessary and distracting. Get rid of
them.
Overall Enjoyment — 7/10
I enjoyed your story, but it didn't impress me enough to get 10.
Extra/Comments — 3/5
Everything made sense within context and nothing seemed illogical or random. I was impressed by how you presented the story as this story was beautifully written. I enjoyed
your story, but I wouldn't particularly remember it or recommend it to others. All the best and thank you for choosing me as your reviewer! I wish you good luck for the contest
you're participating in! :D
Overall Total: 80/100
Reviewer: Yongoppa
Reviewed in: 06.01.13
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