Review For: amusingmudermachine’s ‘Drunk’

Title – [2.5/5]

Your title is a little lacking. There isn't anything there that really draws the reader in. It doesn’t sound unique or original. Therefore, it isn't very eye-catching. However, it matches your story perfectly – so points for that.

Description + Foreword – [14.5/15]

Your description really got me interested. It was very well written and caught my attention from the first sentence. By repeating gulp at the start of each paragraph/sentence was really clever. It showed how Chanyeol desires to be drunk as fast as possible.

Your foreword is an author’s note, so no points were added or subtracted from your score.

Originality – [7.5/10]

There are plenty of stories on AFF that have storylines that revolve around alcohol, so full marks here is impossible. However, I really enjoyed the spin you put on it. Also, I’ve never read anything with Chanstal, so points to you for originality there.

Storyline + Flow of the Story – [20/20]

Well done! Your storyline was simple, but clever. I thought that by repeating the ‘what can shut Park Chanyeol up’ line, you used it very well to show Chanyeol’s changing feelings for Krystal. He went from bordering on sick of it to realising that he still loves her.

Your story flowed well. It wasn’t fast, it wasn’t slow. Well done!

Character Development – [7/10]

Chanyeol’s character was excellent. You portrayed him well. However, as a reader I don’t know anything about Krystal. All I know is that Chanyeol think she’s a when she talks to her. You could have expanded more on Krystal’s character. This would have made your story more complete.

Grammar + Spelling – [25/25]

I couldn’t spot any errors. I love it when I get to review stories with excellent grammar; it really makes reviewing the story a lot more fun and easier.

WELL DONE!!!!

Enjoyment – [8.5/10]

I enjoyed your story. Your grammar was excellent and I thought your ending was quite clever and unique.

Bonus [4.5/5]

Your grammar’s just that good.

TOTAL – [89.5/100]

Armablakken's comments: You were sooooo close to being featured...

Your grammar is seriously excellent. Well Done!! What let you down the most was your title. It was too generic and plain for my liking. 

Your writing style was great. You write well, with excellent grammar (I honestly cannot say that enough) and you obviously thought your story out well before you wrote it.

Well Done!

Good luck with your future writing endeavors~~

Don't forget to credit me and to link back to the shop if you use this review in your fic.