Ok, so this is the beginning of my story.
I'm going to start off by saying that I am just a normal teenage girl.
Not from a wealthy family, didnt go to some fancy pants school and dont have everything just handed to me.
I was born and raised in Brisbane, Australia.
I had to work hard for everything I have, which isnt alot.
Like I said before Im normal, average, typical.
I am not the skinniest girl around, but im not obese.
I have horrible skin and unlike most Australian girls I am pale.
But that is how I like to be.
My personality and my inner goals, I guess, are probably what sets me apart from the stereotyped Aussie teen.
I am usually very closed.
I open up only to those who I trust and know have my best interests at heart.
I've wanted to be an author my whole life, because of this, I kind of like to isolate myself at times and stay indoors.
I'm deeply emotional and wont ever speak out my feelings.
I'd rather write my feelings out and share them with the world, rather than telling one person to their face.
Because of my slight introvertedness, I spend alot of my time on the computer, surfing the net.
I say I'm a slight introvert because occasionally I do like to go out with friends clubbing or hanging out or whatever, just not too often.
Back to what I was saying, I spend alot of time on the internet.
I mostly try to get my work out there and I like to meet people and make friends with people who are just like me.
Something that I look for in a friend is a common ground on music.
I really LOVE asian music.
Even if I dont understand what some of the songs are saying, I still know what they mean.
In fact I dont just love asian music, I love the movies, tv shows, the men, the culture, the history, the men, the food and did I mention the men??
Anyway, through alot of fan forums, fan pages, fan sites and fan groups for alot of my favourite KPop bands I met alot of awesome people.
I made alot of cool friends from all over the world and made friends with a few people that lead to me being engaged to my fiance.
The first group of girls I have to give credit to are my wonderful and beautiful friends that I met through fan sites for two of the five members of DBSK (one of the hottest bands on the Asian scene), Yunho-sshi and Xiah-sshi fan forums.
Those girls quickly became like family to me.
The love that bounded us together was our love for DBSK.
We all exchanged MSN and facebook accounts to keep in contact with each other outside of the sites.
One of them, or a few of them, added some people as friends that I thought I wouldnt EVER meet.
Four out of five of the members of DBSK.
Knowing my luck, the one I most wanted to meet at the time didnt have an account.
It was all okay because I still got to meet the others who were all also big inspirations to me for my work.
I was happy to know them, to be more than a fan, to be a friend.
I added all four of them not expecting to be accepted, but I was.
I introduced myself to all of them, except Jaejoong, not expecting a reply, but they did.
I didnt have to introduce myself first to Jaejoong because he beat me to it.
He was very happy and excited to meet a new person!
I thought it was really cute.
The one of them I least expected to get a reply from, or even be friends with, was Yoochun.
I dont know why I thought that way, I just did.
I guess it might have been because the replies from Yunho and Junsu seemed more friendly.
Yoochun was nice, dont get me wrong, but i just didnt get the same vibe.
He was different, he was always different.
Perhaps thats why I started to like him.
Well one day, I was commenting through some of their photos when I met the wonderful Kihaku Setsuna.
We got into a conversation on one of the photos and soon became friends.
Over the course of a few months we found out that we had alot in common, she was an awesome friend.
Through those same photos, I met another wonderful girl named Annie Va.
We too got to talking and found we were very similar, we even have a trip planned to Seoul, but more on that later.
One of the things we had in common was the love we had for these men.
We had really fallen in love with these men.
The love of Annie's life was Yunho, my honorary big brother, they make the cutest couple.
Kihaku however was more drawn to Jaejoong, my other honorary big brother, those two have a close yet strange relationship.
I'm not saying its a bad pair, I'm saying that there is obvious chemistry there, but both parties are unsure of the others feelings towards them.
Then with me.
I fell for the person I least expected.
I slowly but surely started to fall deeper and deeper for Yoochun with every passing day.
I dont know, but there was just something about him that I was drawn to.
He was like something you know you werent supposed to look at but did anyway.
To me he was forbidden, he was never going to work.
I had doubts right from the moment that I had acknowledged that I loved him.
Every single day I would think of him, he would be stuck in my brain.
I remember the first instance that we grew closer was when I dedicated to him the song 'Hey Mickey' by Toni Basil.
It was stuck in my head and I think it also got stuck in his head.
We were talking about it and I mentioned to him that I think of him everytime I hear that song and jokingly suggested that maybe I shouldnt listen to it anymore.
He totally took it the wrong way and told me that he'd feel pushed aside.
I never intended to make him feel that way so I quickly tried to make him feel better.
Then came my birthday.
It was one of the best birthdays I had ever had.
I was flooded with birthday messages from my friends and family via text and facebook.
One of the messages I appreciated and loved the most was the one I received from Micky.
It was the sweetest message and it certainly made my day.
That was also the day he decided he was going to be more nice to me.
We have had many words that I cherish.
He always sounds so kind and genuine and sweet.
He can always make me laugh and smile.
Although he can make me so happy, he also makes me cry alot, but it isnt is fault.
He doesnt know it, but he broke my heart on more than one ocassion.
The first major time is probably the time he referred to me as his sister.
You cannot even imagine how bad that made me feel.
I mean I was just torn apart.
For me that confirmed my doubts that we would never work out because all he saw me as was his little sister.
Right then my mind wanted to give up, but my heart wouldnt let me.
I still kept on loving him.
Other times were just over little things.
Petty little things that arent even worth mentioning, so I wont mention them.
I was kind of twisted because he did show signs that he cared.
Or maybe that was just him showing is kind natured side.
See what I told you about my doubtfulness??
He came up with possibly one of the cutest/cheesiest nicknames ever for me.
Micky's Nikki.
Which in turn lead me to give him the nickname Nikki's Micky.
It's stuff mooshy stuff like that, that would make me a little queezy, but I wouldnt have it any other way, I love it.
He once told me that I am Micky's Nikki and that means that I am his Nicky.
That was the sweetest thing I think I ever heard.
I cried alot.
I cried because I was happy, I cried because I felt bad that I made him worried and I cried because I felt doubtful.
I've had alot of one sided ups and downs with that man, meaning I was the one with the ups and downs.
I was the one feeling happy whenever he is near and so, so upset when he isnt.
It's hard to explain, but that's how I felt.
About a week or two before my trip to Seoul with Annie, Micky went M.I.A.
Only the oppas and his family knew where he was, and I think that Annie, Kihaku and our other wonderful friend Bee knew aswell.
Nobody would tell me where he was.
I was really worried about him and I had no idea where he was or what had happened to him.
When I found out where he was I freaked out...