Each day is gloomy, though. The sun seems to never shine, it always seems like a storm will blow over but the winds are clam,
the grass is green, and the stars still come up at night. There are a lot of people on the streets too, most of which don't seem to hear
me, while a few do tend to notice me... 

I go to a school that seems to appear and disappear with students that keep to themselves and seem almost as clueless as I do; all having
a purpose and will to fight to live yet gloomy and un-energized on the outside. Have I always lived in a world like this? A world with such
sorrow, despair and agony yet an urge to keep moving on not always because you want to, but simply because you have to?

The friends I make always appear cheerful which makes me cheerful and bright but the second they become cheerful, I know; the second
they become cheerful they disappear three days later. No one seems to notice or ask why; I don't ask why because I'm afraid of the answer
or maybe the fact that nobody asks why they disappear is because the truth can't be handled or if you ask such a question you'll disappear
too. He told me I could not question things, certain things. But in reality he is my only friend.

He stood by the gate at the edge of the school, dressed in an all black uniform which I saw him wearing on more occasions than not,
his brown hair was soft and straight, swooped to one side with his hands in front of him, collapsed together as if he had been waiting
for a long time. My eyes didn't seek him until I felt a strange presence in the air, letting my tired yet rested eyes raise up to look at
his handsome features that never seemed to age. He smiled. The gentlest of smiles and yet the most sincere. The most for-sure smiles.

"Have you business, here?" I merely questioned as I let myself stop a few feet in front of him, my head slightly tilted to one side.

His smile remained on his lips and closed his eyes, tilting his head every which way as if he was searching with closed eyes for
something you can only find with out seeing until his chuckle broke my train of thoughts. His laugh was the warmest thing
I could feel within these few months of losing my memory. His chuckle was even warmer than the ramen I ate every night
after boiling the water and pouring it in the cup, steaming hot and sweating. His laugh was something... unexpected.

"Did I amuse you, some how?" I asked, a confused expression evident on my face, my hands tightening on my back-pack
straps that hung over each shoulder.

And then he spoke, his voice warm yet chilling with truth as he spoke, "I seem to always run into you when I have business.
Seems like death follows you."

I guess a normal human being would react in such a way of confusion they'd question what he meant or if someone was dying
and if I would be next, but I felt calm, confused, but calm. I questioned him inside my head but didn't speak a loud.

"I'll see you around, Ahn Ju Ah." He spoke each of the syllables in my name direct, getting closer to my face before grinning
like a little boy as he pat my head and headed off towards the school as kids still pilled out in groups or by themselves.

I stood, watching his slender legs yet cocky walk, hands in his pockets as he headed to the school. I wouldn't lie, he felt like home,
he felt so warm and so alive unlike the other people I've come into contact with. Their bodies were so cold... I was so cold....
is it just me who is cold as winter? Is this why I can't attach myself to someone without feeling a chill then a throb in my heart?

His warmth I wanted to keep ahold of, grasp, embarrass, and sleep into. Maybe if just one night... he'd let me sleep in his arms,
and maybe then I'd actually be able to sleep... if only maybe.

And with the slightest chance of hope, my legs rushed after him, my arm extended for him and grasped his arm and instead of
asking him to come over, my shaky words kept him from leaving me for too long, "Yoon Doojoon-ah... lets get dinner together,
please?"

His over flowing warmth almost washed over the land as if it was the best invitation he received, resting his hand over my
own, squeezing it gently before releasing my hand from his black jacket, his voice ever so still, "I'd love to. Wait for me by the gate.
I have business to take care of, you understand, right?"

With a nod of my head I gave him the best smile I could, hoping it looked more genuine than it felt before returning to the gates,
waiting for his return. As I waited with a still mind and emotionless face, I let my eyes play tricks on me, as they do countless times when Doojoon seems to be around me. The one and only ray of light I have seen in this dusted world cracked through the dark clouds above me,
shooting from the school and to a destination that seemed much warmer than here.
 

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author's note
• so just a side note for those of you who are confused,
ahn ju ah is a ghost, only she doesn't know it. 
she doesn't realize that the world she is living
is between the human world and the ghost world.
which is why people ignore her on the streets, why 
her world is so much more gloomier, and why people
who are cheerful disappear three days later
because their souls can finally be put to peace.
I won't say any more; just wanted to clarify that,
oh and i figured since Kikwang was gonna be in here,
why not all of B2ST be in here?!
so ... I won't tell you Doo joon's role but lets just say
if you've watched 49 days, you might know.

Hope you liked; and excuse typos or  smth, i haven't 
checked this yet for mistakes. Enjoy~ ^^