Someday
Unrequited: Someday [One-shot]
Light, soft, deliberate, her cold fingers pressed down on the ivory keys, each movement on her hand precise and poignant as a light melancholic melody diffused across the piano practice room. Like the world weighed down on her shoulders, she slouched on the piano frame, left forearm flat against the wooden sheet stand, and her right hand flat on the keys. Her muscles twitched with the effort it took her not to smash her fists onto the keyboard; inside her was a maelstrom of emotions she couldn't quite put a label to. Her chest heaved with the strain in her heart, and she knew no other way to release the building pressure inside her ribcage.
Breathing deeply she ran her fingers across the smooth keys, feeling the hard material under the thick callouses on her fingertips, almost as if she were asking this piece of creation to lend her the spirit of every master who had played this instrument before her. She began playing one note at a time, the sound of tiny hammers on icicles filling her senses like icicles digging into her heart.
She continued to coax music out of her instrument as if it were a living thing. A soulful melody full of pain and anguish emanated from the strings of the grand piano, each pounding of the velvet covered hammer on each steel string resonating, reverberating around the acoustic room producing clamoring vibrations that mirrored the state of her heart. Note after note, she drew out a heartbreaking tune and note after note her heart broke a little more.
Mouth agape a soft, resigned sigh escaped her lips, and her slouched back leaned back to sit properly. Her other hand found its position on the middle register automatically and she repeated her main melody until her first triplet chord, and the words began to form themselves on her lips.
Someday, you're gonna realize
One day, you'll see this through my eyes
By then, I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
Her breathe hitched and croaked at the memory- at the pains of unrequited love. She scoffed bitterly at her weak and fickle heart. She should have known better, she should have been more careful, she should have learned to guard her heart. So many should haves, so many things she knew beforehand, yet when he came along it was as if everything she had held on to had crumbled into dust with just a smile. She blamed him of course. She blamed his eyes that seemed to know so may mysteries, she blamed his lips and the way he called out her name, she blamed him, solely for being him.
Under the soft afternoon light, her head bobbed up and down as her music came to life, her body rocked with silent sobs as each chord progression built up the same way her feelings had for him. Slowly, and stealthily, until it was too late and she was in too deep. Until there was nothing else she could do but watch him from afar knowing he had no feelings for her. Not when he was in love with somebody else.
I know, you don't really see my worth
You think, you're the last guy on earth
But I've got news for you
Though I'm not that strong
But it won't take long, won't take long
Perhaps it would have been easier on her if he had been mean to her. Perhaps she would have moved on by now if he felt absolutely no concern for her. Didn't he know how much more it hurt when he was nice to her? Didn't he realize that every act of kindness was a stab to her soul knowing that she could never hate him the way she felt she should. Every gentle smile was poison drawing her deeper in love with him, until her heart festered in the pains of not being loved in return.
Like a sick addiction, instead of turning away, she continued to remain by his side, hoping upon all hope that he would turn to spare a glance at her. Wishing upon all stars that he would see her worth and realize what's been his all along. Like her, he suffered a broken heart wrought by his own unrequited love, and like her he chose the same path as her, choosing to love, not once turning away. They were both fools.
Right now, I know you can't tell
I'm down and I'm not doin' well
But one day, these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry sweet goodbye
Because her heart was filled with traces of him, the fragments of his kindness left thorns in making it hard to breathe. When breathing was a chore, life seemed like such a fantasy as well. The afternoon sun faded into a dark night colored by a faint moonlight glow. Waiting for his love was inescapable, and she knew she was waiting for a miracle to happen, a prayer she already knew all the answers to. He was the moon, and all she was, was a star hiding behind the clouds unable to make her confession.
I love you she would say, and her painful profession of her innermost desires would only linger on her lips, melting into tears on her face. It would hurt as if she were to die, but he was a thorn stuck in her heart, a tourniquet she could not survive without. Because it was love, she told herself. Because it was love, painful and debilitating.
And she the star, would fade into the clouds and turn into torrents of teardrops on her piano keys. She was content being in a place where she could watch him watch her,at least she told herself she was. Until she wasn't anymore, until it became too hard and there was no more left of her. Because during those times, she couldn't help but love him.
Someday, someone's gonna love me
the way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
I know, I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday
Someday might be a day so far away, but she needed to heal. Because even though she loved him, there was a part of her that loved herself as well. And as her body quivered and her voice broke, the piano understood all she wanted to say. Telling her it was okay to not be strong.
Drained, her body sagged and fell into the piano's welcoming arms, a loud discordant crash of sounds marring the lonely room. Someday.
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