The mood and the sun never meet each other.

They never see each other but they need each other. The moon needs the sun to give off light that can light up earth and give us strength and hope during the dark night.

As I sat on my balcony, staring at the large moon that felt so big and yet so lonely, I let a tear drop.

The sun is on the other side of this moon…and yet…why do I feel like its so far apart…?I thought to myself.

Staring at the moon, I thought about all the happiness that I have had with him. It was so alike.

“Yah~ Hyejae-ah~!” He called out to me with a bright smile on his face. This whole thing was internet based.

The relationship…the everything.

But every day, we would web cam with each other and talk to each other even though we didn’t live in the same country and he found it hard speaking English.

But, he still tried.

“Oppa! Hey~ How are things going there? School okay?”

Kikwang pouted and I felt my heartbeat quicken.

“No…it’s…hard? Is that the right word?” I giggled and nodded.

I touched the part of the screen and wished that he was really standing in front of me, blood and flesh so I could hug him and feel his heart beat against my own and I can hear him breathe.

But this was all a dream.

I knew it was to be shattered.

But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, every time I talked to him, my resolve cracked a little and now, having been going out with him for only a few weeks, I had no more resolve left.

I loved him.

More than anything in the world.

“Hyejae…what are you thinking about…?” I suddenly heard Kikwang ask, his smile slightly worried.

I shook my head and removed my hand away from the screen.

With a big smile, I said,

“Nothing!”
“Really?”

“Yup!”

“Ah! I have to go! I’m sorry Hyejae! Homework…you know I’ve told you about my parents right…? Sorry! Bye!”

Before I could say anything, he left. Leaving me with nothing but an empty MSN screen.

From that second on wards I knew, I knew that this was going to be hard…very hard.

I stopped looking at the moon as I got up and went back inside my apartment where my laptop was laying on my bed, the bubbles screen saver everywhere.

I touched the key pad and the bubbles left.

“How I wish that my problems could be solved that quickly…” I whispered to myself.

I signed out of my own Facebook account and logged into friends Facebook account. She trusted me enough with her password and I too, trusted her with mine.

I looked down to the left and caught my breath when I saw that he was online. Before I could react, a tab had popped up at the bottom.

“Hiya Sheila!” Sheila is my friend.

I didn’t know what to do…

“It’s Kikwang! Are you there?”

With shaky fingers, I put my fingers on the keyboard, posed to type but I couldn’t get my fingers to move.

“Helloooo~! Sheila~~ You there or not?!”

I used all my will power to type back,

“Yeah…”

“What’s wrong?” He instantly replied.

I honestly didn’t know what to say.

Sheila and I had been friends with him for years and he could tell easily that it wasn’t Sheila he was talking to.

I decided to sign out.

Apparently, my fingers didn’t need much convincing since just as I was thinking about that, I was already signed out and back on my account within seconds.

I felt all the energy drain out of me.

I turned around and saw the opaque curtains blow out softly and gently with the balcony door open widely and the cool air coming in gently as if it didn’t want to break open the wound that was already there.

The moon was covered by a few slithers of clouds now but I could still see it, as clear as ever.

-Kikwang is video calling you / Accept? Decline?-

I pressed “accept” with a large smile on my face and when I saw him, all the worries I had the other day disappeared as his own smile covered his screen on my computer screen.

“Oppa!”

“Haha, missed me eh?”

I didn’t want to admit it but I really did.

So, I nodded. I decided that it was time to act weak in front of a guy instead of always acting the head strong side of me in front of others.

“Aww~ You’re so cute!” I blushed and prayed he didn’t see it…

“I saw that!”

I pouted and looked away, pretending to be angry but I knew that I couldn’t stay angry at him for long. He seemed to know that but he still tried his best to get me out of my…”trance”.

“Yah, Hyejae, I have a joke!”

“No.” I said strongly.

“Oh please?! With a cherry on top?”

“I hate cherries.”

“…” That is always the best comeback you could do with a request like that and it always took the requester by surprised before they finally recovered.

“Oh come on! One little joke isn’t going to hurt!” I decided to test my acting skills.

I turned to him with all the anger I could manage flowing through my face and gave him a glare.

He stared at me, thinking that I was angry for real.

He moved his laptop away from him so that the webcam was at an angle towards the floor. Suddenly, without warning, he was kneeling on the floor and was pleading me with sad and hurt eyes.

“Hyejae! Sweet Hyejae! Please don’t be angry with me!”

I really couldn’t help but laugh then.

“I knew you were acting!” Kikwang instantly said and then he got up and moved the laptop back into normal position.

“Sorry! I couldn’t help it…” I said that in a fit of giggles.

He pouted but he was smiling and I could tell. His eyes said all and that’s all I ever look to; his eyes.

“I love you Hyejae…” My eyes widened and I couldn’t help my heart beat in a faster motion than normal.

“I love you too…oppa…”

I closed my laptop lid gently and picking it up, I put it by the floor near the balcony. I left the door to the balcony a centimetre open for the wind to come in to help me drift to sleep.

I slid into my soft and light covers and put my earphones in my ear.

I listened to Kiss The Rain by Yiruma for a few minutes as the scenes of he and I fast forwarded before my eyes as if I was in a movie centre.

The last scene especially, made an impact.

“Hyejae-ssi…why do you love me?”

“Eh?” I looked at him, startled. It had been a long time since we’ve talked to each other because of he and my studies and a question as serious as that took me by surprise.

“What…?”

“I just want to know…” He had a faraway look in his eye for a second and then, I realised something.

“You don’t trust me.”

He was back to earth in one millisecond with a VERY startled look on his face but I also noticed a hint of guilty-ness in his eyes.

Eyes are the doorway to ones heart and soul.

I was born to be able to look at ones eyes. I always thought that that was a gift. A gift I highly treasured.

But now, I wished that I couldn’t.

“NO! That isn’t what I meant! I-“

“You’re worried because I might cheat on you behind your back. You’re worried that I would break up with you the second I find another guy here who is better than you. You’re worried-“

“I’m not worried!”

“that I don’t love you enough.”

He didn’t say anything and I knew that I had hit bullseye.

I didn’t say anything else but signed out of MSN and slammed down my laptop lid a little bit too hard and left my bedroom, wishing to never set foot in it again.

The sun. The moon.

Two different forces.

The sun is independent, it radiates energy by itself without much help.

The moon however, is completely dependant on the sun. It emits light from the sun.

That’s how it can shine so brightly in a dark and eerie night.

The sun…the moon. What if both were dependant on each other?

What if…so much what if’s.

But all I want to know is if you can be dependant on me…or if I can be dependant on you without worried about getting hurt.

Can I…? Will you let me…? 

*** 

im afraid im disappointing you...this one-shot is kinda for my own use only...its just for me to express my sadness...thank you for subscribing regardless ^^