Jung Mi Jin is just one girl in the billion population on Earth. People always say, “Everyone is unique because there is only one you on Earth.” However, she had been searching so hard all this time. In the end, she had arrived at the conclusion that there is nothing special in her. She was just an ordinary, nothing special. Just like a little prickly grass strand in the meadow, she never stood out.

∞

“Jung Mi Jin.” The teacher called out from the attendance roll.

Mi Jin raised her hand meekly from the back of the class.

“Jung Mi Jin?” The teacher tried again as she scanned the students.

This time, she raised her hand a bit higher into the air and the teacher finally took notice.

“Next time, raise your hands higher.” She reprimanded gently.

Biting her lips out of embarrassment, she nodded.

The bell rang a few minutes later and their English teacher marched into the class.

“What are you guys doing standing around? Take out your textbooks and get ready for English class!” He commanded.

The students, like fearful mice that met a ferocious cat, scrambled to their seats. Settling down his teaching materials, the teacher looked up with a satisfied smile. The class was ready for lesson. Then, the door burst open. Snapping his head to the side, he saw the usual group crowded at the door. All of them entered the class and bowed before him.

“Sorry Teacher, we’re late.” Jieun took the lead and apologized.

The teacher flicked his wrist, signaling for them to hurry and settle down.

“Thank you.” She said with a slight smile.

The group hurried to their seats, exchanging sneaky smiles and glances under his nose. The boy seated near the window, returned his attention back to class. Meeting eyes with Jieun, he broke their eye contact almost immediately. With that, lessons officially began. The day was no different from the normal ones. Learning new concepts, practicing with some questions and having new homework added to the pile. It has always been a sickening routine anyway.

At some point of life, everyone would feel like running away from this fixed cycle. Regardless of whether it is school life or work life. Having everything regulated gets too peaceful at times. They would feel like doing something very different to inject new fun in lives. Others might want to just grab a backpack and run away. However, at the end of the day, how many really manage to do so? The number is pathetic.

Mi Jin sighed as the day ended just like the usual. Looking over to the whistling, cheering and howling occurring on the other end, a weak smile graced her face. It was Jieun and her group being surrounded by some students. The popular group sauntered over and walked past Mi Jin. Jieun met eyes with Mi Jin for brief moment and she greeted, “Hey”. Unlike novels and movies, she was not a victim of bully by the popular ones. She was merely part of the crowd.

A part within her said, “Mi Jin, you’re boring. Unlike them.”

Waiting at the bus stop, Mi Jin took her cellphone out. She sighed as there were no notifications from her friends. The conversations would always cease after some time and she refused to send them another message, not before they replied to her previous one. It was not being stubborn. Instead, she hoped to feel wanted. Just like in the game of hide-and-seek, it gets tiring to always be the seeker. Sometimes, the seeker would yearn to hide away and wait in anticipation to be sought after too.

Slipping her phone back into her pocket, she looked onto the road. The vehicles drove past the bus-stop at high speed, seemingly rushing to somewhere else. Although she didn’t know where they were speeding off to, she scoffed. She was envious of the fast-paced life of others, unlike hers.

Someone stood beside her, apparently waiting for the bus to arrive too. Mi Jin stole a glance at the person and realized who he was. It’s her classmate, she recognized. Keeping her head down, she fiddled with her fingers nervously. A wise thought stuck her. She had decided to move away without anyone’s realization so she turned away from him. Then, she walked off in quick, small steps. Away from his sight, she heaved a sigh of relief. It would have been awkward if they got onto the same bus. At least, she thought so.

“Perhaps, he doesn’t even know who I am.” Mi Jin thought as the bus drove off.

Sungyeol glanced out of the bus window and chuckled lightly when he saw Mi Jin lingering behind the pillar.

∞

Jieun was carrying the box of materials for an upcoming school event to its venue. Out of carelessness, she tripped on the uneven ground surface. Falling forward, the box’s cover fell open and the contents spilled. Rolling her eyes in annoyance, she picked herself up and moved over to the mess. As she picked up the flyers and other materials, someone joined her. She smiled fondly at the helper squatting before her. It felt like a drama scene.

“Thank you, Sungyeol.” She thanked him with a bright smile.  

“Y-You… Know my name.” He pointed out in amazement, eyes slightly widened.

“Why would I not know your name when we’re in the same class?” she questioned his ridiculous statement and giggled.  

“I see.” He didn’t know how he ought to respond.

He was still in midst of regretting for letting his previous statement slip his tongue. 

“And I realized…Sungyeol-shi, you are really tall!” Jieun remarked as she tip-toed and compared their height.

Sungyeol gulped down his saliva uneasily as he backed away.

“I got to go.” He informed before hurrying off.

Glancing at his retreating figure, Jieun smiled and left in the opposite direction.

After break, all the students gathered back in class. The next lesson teacher rushed into the classroom, panting slightly.

“Professor Park must be getting on age.” Sungyeol thought to himself.

“Professor Park is getting old.” The sunshine boy in class joked lightly.

Everyone else in class burst into a resounding laughter, especially the popular clique. Sungyeol sighed softly as he looked out of the window one more. There was no garden or anything to see from his view. All he could see was the field with a tree rooted near the school building. There was nothing special about the tree but Sungyeol always gave his attention to it whenever he was bored.

“Because we’re the same.” He thought as he looked at the tree with a sad smile.

“Sungyeol, I would appreciate if you pay your attention back to my lesson.” The teacher called out from the front.

Sungyeol stiffened at his words and hurriedly returned his attention back to the teacher. He could vaguely hear some of the other students giggling and chuckling at him for being caught slacking off. Sungyeol absolutely hated being in the limelight, both in the bad and good way. He had always felt uncomfortable whenever the spot light lands on him. He preferred to be in his little own world, kept away from the others. All along, Sungyeol thought he enjoyed the comfort of being alone and he needed no change.

 In the deepest part of everyone’s heart, we always need someone. Someone who we know will always be there for us, listen to us and support us on our backs. To be alone, could be the saddest and hardest thing to maintain. Alone but not lonely, how many people can truly achieve that? Come to think about it… Even animals go in packs out in the wild.

“Mr. Lee and…” The teacher scanned the class and students averted his gaze.

“Miss Jung at the back, would you help me carry all this to my office?” he requested politely.

It was not as if they could refuse actually but it was still courteous to ask as a teacher. Mi Jin cursed herself for not looking away when the teacher said he needed help. She was too busy looking at the board. Sungyeol groaned inwardly as he walked up to Professor Park. He carried the stack of workbooks while Mi Jin helped to carry his briefcase and teaching materials. With that, he handed the two his key and rushed to the meeting room.

The pair walked in silence throughout the journey. Mi Jin looked down and smiled when she realized they were walking in the same pace. Sungyeol noticed it and deliberately messed up his regular steps for fun. He smiled in amusement when he spotted the small frown forming on her face. When Mi Jin looked up, Sungyeol hurriedly wiped the smile off his face.

Reaching the staff office and dropping Professor Park’s stuff, including the key, they left. The two were walking back to the class without a single word said. Mi Jin thought she had correctly figured that they would remain quiet throughout. When they were about to reach the classroom door, Sungyeol said, “You changed your hair tie.” With that, Mi Jin stood there in shock as she digested his words. Heat crawled up her face as she walked into the class from the back door. She had changed her hair tie just today, from black to brown. It was the slightest change that no one ought to discover. But he did. At that instant, she did not know what she was feeling. Perhaps it was happiness for finally being noticed by someone.

∞

Mi Jin did not say anything else since their first conversation. It would have been weird if she walked up to him and questioned why he noticed her. On the same note, she was dying to know. However, she preferred to keeping things this way for the better. Stuffing her hands into her skirt pockets, she looked up at the sky. It was boundless, with the sun and clouds decorating it. When night comes, the moon and stars would be its companion. The sky was never lonely, she thought.

“It could be lonely though since it is merely a canvass to the sun, clouds, moon and stars.” She rebutted her own stand mentally and nodded in agreement.

“Mi Jin.” Someone called out.

Turning to the source of voice, she realized it was Jieun. A joyous smile crept up her face as she skipped over.

“My cousin, we have not had a good talk since forever.” Jieun whined with a pout.

“Blame it on me having a popular cousin. I can’t even come near you in class with your fan girls and fan boys around you.” Mi Jin teased with a smile.

“Yah.” Jieun made a face at her statement.

“Why don’t you join my friends and me?” Jieun asked in a serious and less playful tone.

“I like the way things are now.” Mi Jin rejected her offer with a smile.

“I got to go, Mi Jin. See you on Saturday at Aunt’s house!” Jieun said before running across the road to join her friends.

“Why don’t you join my friends and I?” Her words rang in Mi Jin’s ears once more.

She felt slightly offended although she knew Jieun did not mean that way. The statement seemed as if it was mocking at her for being a loner, forever alone. Therefore, she needed Jieun to ‘share’ her friends with her. Mi Jin shook her head with a sigh, stopping herself from thinking that way. She knew clearly that Jieun didn’t mean that way. Well, because of that, Mi Jin hated herself more. 

“You actually know Jieun very well.” A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

Mi Jin gasped as she saw Sungyeol sitting beside her.

“Jieun is my cousin.” She admitted.

“I knew. Heard it from elsewhere.” He said.

Mi Jin was taken aback as to how he knew their relationship since the start.

“She’s a nice girl.” He added softly.

Mi Jin heard his words clearly, so clearly that every word stabbed at her heart. At that instant, she couldn’t help but question whether he noticed her, her hair tie because of Jieun being her cousin.

∞

“Have you done your English homework?” Jieun asked as she rolled on the bed.

“I’m halfway done.” Mi Jin replied with a nice smile.

“What have you written so far for the report?” Jieun asked.

“I have decided on the idea of…”

“That’s brilliant, girl!” Jieun complimented as she clasped her hands together.

She blushed at her compliment and looked down.

“Mi Jin-ah, do you mind if I steal some of your ideas? I am kinda lost for this report…” Jieun asked for her permission with puppy eyes.

She bit her lips in consideration. Mi Jin wanted to refuse but Jieun was rubbing her hands together, pleading her earnestly. With a soft sigh, she nodded her head.

“You’re my best cousin!” Jieun beamed as she enveloped her in a big hug.

Mi Jin smiled at her sweet actions.

∞

“I am done marking your English report.” The teacher said with his heavy American accent.

The students stirred at his words, all excited about their grades.

“Before I give out the reports, I would like to say that…I am utterly disappointed with two students.” He continued.

Mi Jin froze in her position when she felt his gaze fell on her.

“I have warned you guys time and again that I take plagiarism issues very seriously, didn’t I? Then, tell me… Why do I have two similar report here in my class?!” The teacher questioned as he threw the papers down on the table.

The class fell silent as some students exchanged glances worriedly.

“Jung Mi Jin, Lee Jieun…”

The class started a small commotion.

“Both of you are getting an F this time. I’m not pursuing who’s right and wrong because whatever the case is, both of you are at fault. I hope you learn from your lesson and this must not happen again. Come forward and get your papers.” Mr. Johnson said in a stern voice.

Mi Jin bit her lips real hard to prevent those wronged tears from falling. She looked down as some of their classmates shot her distasteful glances.

“I’m sorry, Mi Jin-ah.” Jieun mumbled as she walked past her to retrieve her paper.

Mi Jin looked down and said nothing.

After the lesson, Mi Jin left the classroom as many students crowded around Jieun.

“Jieun-ah, are you okay?” They asked in concern.

She nodded and some tears fell from the corner of her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have taken Mi Jin’s ideas.” She said in remorse.

“It’s not your fault. Don’t be upset anymore. Blame it on the stupid Johnson being such a strict pig.” One of her friends joked.

Jieun smiled between tears at his funny statement.

“Awww~I so missed your beautiful smile.” One of her fan boys said causing the others to howl.

With clenched fists, Mi Jin walked off to the school gate. She wanted to get home as soon as possible. She felt like crying so badly. Everyone swarmed to Jieun after the incident happened but no one came to her when she was the innocent party. She was the one who needed the comfort, needed those jokes to brighten her up and companionship.

“Just because I am not popular…” She thought in her heart.

Reaching home, Mi Jin went straight into her room. She cried her heart out into her pillows until no more tears came out. She was so tired of crying and being alone. Being ordinary seemed like a sin out of a sudden. Taking her phone out, she opened Twitter and read her classmates’ tweets.

@lily199IU: Hwaiting! Don’t be affected by a fat pig!

@lily199IU: You look ugly crying so chin up, girl.

@lily199IU: Smile~ See you in class tomorrow!!

@lily199IU: Don’t worry, be happy. ^^

Another tear dripped onto her phone screen as she saw no tweets in her account but Jieun’s one being flooded. Mi Jin wanted so badly to type a tweet and tell the world, she was the one who needed those words of comfort. However, she did not. It was pathetic how she did not dare to speak up even in social media. She hated herself so much that night.

Trying too hard

She tweeted those three words which had hidden meaning to her. All this time, she felt that she was trying too hard to be recognized, seen and appreciated by the others. Now, she was tired. She was tired of being ordinary, having to try so hard. She put in so much effort to have her work praised by the Mr. Johnson but ended up getting an F. It was especially sickening to see the stark difference in treatment because she was the less popular, as compared to Jieun.

Hours passed and Mi Jin kept staring at her phone screen. For her tweet, there was no re-tweets, no favourites or anything. It was as if her tweet had never surfaced in the others’ account. In contrast, Jieun’s ‘Thank you’ tweet for their concern was all over the social media.

She felt transparent.

(To be continued...)