Chapter 1: The beginning

Baekho's Pov

I was fascinated as I felt his blonde hair tickling my skin. Ren's beautiful feline eyes held too many emotions to bare... I was afraid I would break into hundreds of tiny colourful bubbles if I had to watch his emotions' storm, shining on his angelic face.
"I love you and that's all that matters." I wasn't sure if I just wanted to say these things or whether the words actually left my mouth. 
I nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck, silently saying 'thank you'. Our bodies melted together, the heat between us was more than I've ever experienced. I know that we were made to be with each other. 
Hot skin met, lips moved in sync, as the passion flew through the air of my bedroom. 
- 
The first sight that greeted me in the morning was a space where Ren had been. Empty and cold, like his delicate body had never laid there. Why isn't he here? Our first night (finally!) was fantastic, amazing, much more than I've ever wished for... but it seems it wasn't enough for him.
I sat up in my king sized bed. I felt alone, like a forgotten child, searching for a sign to show me where Ren went. But nothing. Not even a note! After that kind of night he couldn't disappear without any word!
Reluctantly I got up and went to the bathroom. Owww, I didn't want to have a shower. I didn't want to wash away Ren's scent from my skin. It belongs here. To me. Okay, I had to clean myself...
After the shower, I decided to visit my lovely bandmates downstairs. 
"Hey, good morning everybody!" I stepped into the living room, wearing my cheerful smile, despite how I felt inside.
"Yeah, yeah, good..." Minhyun mumbled while he tried to drink his milk properly. Early in the morning, when your eyes won't open and you wanted nothing more than to go back to your warm bed, it's a hard task! If you don't believe me, go and try it. 
But I immediately knew that something was missing as I reached the couch. That something was adorable, blonde, with milky skin that tempted me to touch it. That something was the most beautiful creature in the world. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the missing something was Ren!
"Where is our little maknae?" 
" I dunno, I haven't seen him today. Maybe in his room?" came JR's reply from the kitchen.
" No, I've already checked it." I started to become annoyed. He wasn't in my bed when I woke up, and he wasn't even in the house! Where the hell did he go?
" Maybe he's taking a walk or something." 
I hoped that Aron was right.
" Okay. What's for breakfast?"
" I'm making steamed eggs. Are they okay?"
" JR-umma, we love you!" We said in unison.

After JR told us that we had dance training today, our precious maknae finally came back. And he didn't look very well (pardon!). As I saw the dark bags under his eyes, his extremely pale skin and a sad shadow in his eyes ... I knew that something was wrong.
" Are you alright?" I asked him, trying to touch his shoulder to show that I was there for him. But he rejected it.
" Of course. Everything is perfect."
I knew that he was lying and he knew that I knew. But I saw that I shouldn't cross the line... Privacy is privacy, no matter how much I wanted to help him.
" Good."
I didn't ask him why he left, I was sure he wouldn't answer
Something has changed and I have no idea what, or why.

Ren's POV

Two bodies’ intense touch, two hearts’ desperate throb for each other in the dark night. I wish the morning would never come. 
„I love you and that's all that matters…” These words broke everything inside me, and I could do nothing but kiss him with the force of all the love I had for him. I held him tight, like we only had each other. Baekho’s strong yet soft arms were around me, and I felt happiness. I’d never thought about loving anyone, but after I met him, everything changed.

But happiness does not last for ever…
-
The sun’s cruel rays woke me up. Baekho slept beside me, like a child who has no problems, no fears. I knew that the night before was the most perfect one in my life. I was grateful because I'd found someone who loved me.
Baekho murmured something in his dreams and changed position. I smiled at the face he made, and softly kissed his cheek.
It was early in the morning so the others were not awake. I decided to take a walk.
As I closed the front door behind me, my phone rang in my pocket.
„Hello? This is Ren.”
My good mood faded when I recognised the manager’s voice.
„What do you think you are doing, Choi Minki?” His voice was unpleasant after Baekho’s passionate moans and soft whispers.
„Excuse me, but I have no idea…”
„Well then, let me put it another way. Stop the disgusting things you are doing with your bandmate, or you’ll be fired! If you do anything unnecessary, you can say goodbye to the band and to Baekho! Moreover, he will also be fired, and believe me he will never get another job offer again. I have the power to make sure of that.”
With that, I heard the „beep-beep” sound. Why? WHY? How did he know? And why is this happening to me? I finally felt happiness for the first time in my life, and now… I have to end it? No… I have to kill it, with my own hands. Murder the feelings I’ve waited for. 
People say there’s a chance to correct your mistakes, but I haven’t made a single mistake! Last night was the best thing to ever happen to me, but it seems like there could be no future for us.
I could barely stop the tears from falling. I decided to go home, but the moment I stepped into the living room, I saw him, and felt that awful feeling in my stomach. Please don’t touch me, don’t look at me with those beautiful, deep eyes of yours.
„Everything is perfect.” I said. But nothing was.

Baekho's POV 

I can't describe how terrible our dance training was. Ren skipped breakfast, so was frustrated and yelled at everyone who tried to talk to him. Even me!
" Ren, you shouldn't push yourself too much." I said, handing him water.
" It's none of your business. I'll do what I want!" His harsh tone didn't remind me of his cute little moans from yesterday at all.
"Really?" Is that what you want?

" Please, take a break." JR's voice was surprisingly calm, and it seemed to calm Ren down too. "You look exhausted."
" I need a coffee." It was all that he said before he ran out of the room.
" Does anyone know what happened to Ren?" Minhyun's tone was worried and I absolutely understood it.
" No."
I got bored, so decided to follow Ren. I was worried and confused, okay?
I almost reached the lifesaving coffee machine, when I was stopped by someone's beautiful laugh. Ren's beautiful laugh. Why was he laughing? 
I peeked from behind my hiding place (it was a wall) and saw them together. Ren and an annoying backing dancer. He laughed with him, not with me!
I felt the jealousy throbbing in my chest. Or was it my furious heart?
" Haha, thanks Jeong, you're very nice." came the angelic voice, followed by the cutest smile.
Hey, how can you show that perfection to anyone else? Ren, why are you doing this to me??
That was the point when I decided to appear. Ren's expression changed and his body went stiff as he saw me. Why?!
" JR told me to call you back. The break is over." I lied in an emotionless way, like he usually does.
" Okay. Bye Jeong." Ren. Hugged. Him. Ren hugged a complete stranger, and my heart ached like somebody had beaten me.
" Don't forget your promise! We're going to the cinema at the weekend." This Jeong bastard was annoying and boring. I'm much more handsome than him!
" Of course, of course, I can't wait!"
A date? !
" Don't forget that you're still with me!" I hissed, trying to hide my pain as we walked back to our room.
" We're not in a relationship anymore."
" And who decided this?!"
" Me. We're bandmates and that's all."
An angel broke my heart into billion tiny pieces. 
Life is cruel.
-
We had a photo-shoot that afternoon, but I could hardly concentrate. My miracle with Ren was over. And I still don't know the ing reason why!
" Baekho, focus!"
" I'm sorry." I bowed.
We stood in front of a brick wall covered in graffiti, wearing dark clothes. Cool design, but I was too confused to be excited.
Everything was going well until...
Ren staggered, bringing his hand to his head, his fragile body shook.
" Ren, are you ok?" I couldn't help it. I was by his side immediately, wrapping my arms around his tiny waist.
" I'm dizzy..." He whimpered, clutching onto me for dear life.
" He hasn't eaten anything today!" JR's voice was full of concern.
" I'll get him something from the buffet." Aron disappeared like a ghost.
" We should call the manager..."
" No!" Ren's voice was surprisingly scared.
" Shhhh, everything is okay. Come on, sit down." I helped him sit on one of the pillows.
" B-Baekho..."

Ren's POV

I wanted to tell him everything. The manager’s words, my feelings for him, the reason why was I with Jeong… But I was too much of a coward. As I looked into those beautiful eyes of his, I remembered last night, and then this morning. The cruel things the manager said, the bitterness in my soul…
I have to protect him. If I say anything, the manager will know, and kick us out. Not just me, but Baekho too. And he is far too important to me to let that happen. I have to make him hate me, forget me. He'll find someone else instead of me, I’m sure of that, and I… I'll probably never forget him. No, I will NEVER forget.
Again, I had to hold back my tears. I can’t let him see my weakness. He has to think that I’m already over him.
„Yes, Ren?” His soft voice echoed in my ears.
„I don’t need your help, thanks!” I said in an emotionless tone, pretending to not notice his reaction.
„Okay.” His voice sounded like an abandoned puppy's voice.
Aron finally came back with a chocolate croissant in one hand and coffee in the other.
„Here, eat this.” He gave me the sweet pastry and I started to eat slowly.
„ Why didn’t you eat anything?” JR asked, like the umma he was.
„I had no appetite.” I replied. And I truly didn’t. I had a horrible knot in my stomach and it was still there. I almost threw up. I was disgusted of myself.
-
The rest of the day was tiresome and dull. I was still in a bad mood and kept catching myself staring at Baekho.
„Stupid Ren!” I said to myself. „You want to protect him, don’t you? Then don’t act like a stupid schoolgirl!"
„Hey Ren, everything’s okay?” Minhyun’s voice scared me. I was completely distracted.
„Yeah, I’m fine.”
After a few more minutes, JR stopped the music and clapped.
„Okay everyone, we’re done for today.”
„That’s great, because if I have to take one more step I’ll faint.” Aron groaned. I almost smiled at his tone, but my phone suddenly started to ring.
„Hallo?” I asked, after picking up.
„Hey, Ren, this is Jeong. I just wondered whether you'd finished practice?”
This guy is really cute, but not as y as… NO!!!
„Yes, we've finished for today. Why? And since when do you know my number?”
„I have my sources” he laughed. „I just wanted to check if you were ok or not. I have to go now, take care and see you on Saturday!”
„Yeah, bye!” As I hung up and looked at the others, they were all smiling, ridiculous looks on their faces.
„What?” I asked them, while JR hugged my shoulders.
„Who was that, princess? Our little maknae has a fan?”
„Or maybe a girlfriend?” asked Aron with a stupid grin.
„Or probably a boyfriend?” smiled Minhyun.
„Take it easy guys. It’s just a backing dancer I know!”
I noticed that Baekho wasn’t here. He was in the other corner of the room, packing his clothes. I felt happy and sad at the same time. If I continue acting like this, he'll finally forget me. My other bandmates couldn’t see the tears in my eyes…

Authors' notes: Firstly, we want to say thank you to AmethystD for being my beta. We are very grateful!

Then, thanks for subsribing rickieflower, morikochan, DazzlingOntokki, Dariawolf ♥ We hope you liked this chap ^^

And I (miyocca) want to say thank you to sayuki for being my co-author *-* (check her drawings on dev.art)

Comments and subscribers are our ♥ ~

Baekren Fighting! ^^