“Until when are you going to be like this?” he asked me as I walked past him, ignoring his obvious presence.

There were just us, standing there like strangers. What he doesn’t know was that every time we clashed with each other, my breath was taken away; killing me slowly.

I stopped my pace and took a deep breath before I turned around to face him, the only person who has the power to destroy me emotionally. Why did he have to do this to me? Couldn’t he just ignore my presence like I did?

“What do you mean?” I questioned him calmly. My outer expression just turned off whenever he was around. I appeared emotionless in front of him… by choice.

“You have been skipping class nowadays,” he answered uncertainly, avoiding my stare. “You know that you could have been expelled if you continue with this.”

So he had been concerning about me. The thought did make me somehow… happy.

“I’m saying this because we are still friends.” He continued.

Friends…

“Friends?” I scoffed and start walking away.

Friends… How can you be just friends with the person that you still love? Im Jaebum… What kind of creature you are? Memories flowing back to the day me, Park Jiyeon and Im Jaebum was still lover… until the day he dumped me.

“Let’s broke up.” He mumbled. Life would be perfectly wonderful if he die instead of telling me that he had already fallen out of love with me. He dumped me right at the place that he used to propose me; it felt as if he was dumping all the s right onto me.

Unable to let go of him… I tried everything. I persuaded him, telling him that I will change for him. Just then, what did I do to deserve this? Am I a bad dresser that embarrassed him in front of his friends? I can cook as well as his mother. I am an average student who will have a bright future. So where did I go wrong.

Im Jaebum, where did I go wrong?

A red bean bread and banana milk were suddenly place on my desk. Why did he keep on trying to be normal when the whole world already know that lovers wouldn’t be friends after they broke up, somehow it doesn’t make sense. I grabbed the food and slammed the food onto his desk.

“No, thanks.” I said to him before I walked out of the classroom.

Why did he have to do this to me? Stop being like this when I was about to move on. He should have understood me. He should have stop trying to fix the wound in my heart. He should have let it be healed by itself. If he keeps on doing the way he did right now, I couldn’t guarantee that I will be able to stop loving him because that the reasons why I fall for him… However, I couldn’t tell him to stop what he did right now, just because I am still hoping for his love.

“It has been two years, Jiyeon.” He spoke softly behind me as he was walking behind me. Yes, it had been two gruelling years and I still couldn’t move on. “When will you stop acting like this?”

I looked up the sky and closed my eyes for the while. I swallowed my saliva and opened my eyes… I wished to be disappeared.  We were walking past the garden that we used to love. It had been a while… to be here with him.

“Talk to me…” He requested. “Your silence makes me hurt.”

I preferred to stay silence right after the day he dumped me. He doesn’t know that just because the loud agonizing wail doesn’t come out of my mouth does not mean that I’m not screaming. I am, inside. Silently so he won’t feel the pain he puts me through. My silence is the punishment for him.

My silence was the indicator that my pains couldn’t be expressed with words. My silence was the sign that my heart has already turned numb, that I couldn’t recognize the pain anymore that I couldn’t feel anymore. My silence was the indicator that this person had hurt me to the state that I had forget what it feels to be love again. This one person, Im Jaebum had turned me into a doll.

I smiled at him, a smile that I never show him for two years. “This smile will be the last thing you will see from me. From now on, ignore me because I don’t need you to fix the wound that you had given me two years ago. So stand aside and look at me, I will be able to fix it myself and after I succeed, you wouldn’t be included in my life and that you will regret.”

Sometime I couldn’t pray for your happiness. I’m just a human being. Perhaps, another time. Im Jaebum... Good bye.