Chapter 1:

“Well, I won’t be able to marry her!”

His father glared at him, “And why not?”

“Because I’m gay!”

And with that, Siwon turned and left his father who seemed to be suffering from apoplexy at his announcement. He wasn’t worried though since he knew his father was in good health. Besides, his mother was right there, soothing her husband.

He got in his Audi and left the house. He should have done something like this long ago. It was bad enough that he had let his father dictate his studies and career and his mother choose his friends, now they also want to manage his marriage too? What next, were they also going to plan the birth and what his children were going to be? What if they had also planned for his death, was his headstone already ready at the family mausoleum with his name on it? It was a morbid thought but Siwon smiled wryly that he wouldn’t put it past his parents to actually do something like that.

He was still driving aimlessly around the streets of Seoul twenty minutes later when he got the call from his mom.

“Are you coming back?”

“No. I’m going straight back to my apartment!” it was the first time he talked like that to his mom and he felt a twinge of guilt. But not enough to apologize.

“My son…” his mother seemed to be at a loss for words before she asked, “Are you…when did you…”

“Find out that I was gay?” When you just paired me up with someone I would never love and we’ll probably spend the rest of our lives making each other miserable. But Siwon only answered, “Just recently.”

“Is that why you’ve never had a girlfriend since high school?”

Siwon winced. He didn’t need his mother to remind him that his love life wasn’t exactly that exciting. Yes, they controlled his life but they were okay with him having a relationship. After all, how could he pick someone unsuitable when he went to the most expensive schools and was friends or acquainted with people among their own social circle?

Unless he actually went out of his way to pick up random strangers in questionable neighbourhoods, which was a rarity in itself. And while he did meet all kinds of people in New York, where he had resided for the past two years, he never went beyond knowing about them than what’s more than necessary for work. Also, his parents weren’t that snobbish to turn up their noses at well-educated, middle class girls as long as they were brought up well.

So really, his lack of a girlfriend for years was really just…umm, why exactly then?

“Siwon? Are you still there?”

He roused himself from his thoughts, “Yeah, umma. Look, tell appa I’m sorry but this time he went too far. I’ve been his obedient son all my life. I studied well, I let him decide what to take in college, I work for the company because he wanted me to. I never gave him or you any reason to worry about me. And now, you also want to dictate who I’ll spend the rest of my life with?”

His mother was silent for a few minutes before she answered, “Your father and I know that. Well alright, I spent the last 20 minutes reminding your father about that. But you being gay…can you…can you please let your father get used to the idea first? He loves you but this is a big revelation to him,” she added pleadingly.

Siwon’s eyebrows rose up. Wait a minute. Did his parents actually believe he’s gay? And what’s more, they seem to be quite willing to accept it…given enough time.

“Uh, umma, actually...you don’t seem to be quite shocked,” Heck, I’m even more shocked at your lack of hysterics.

He could hear his mother clucking her tongue in a most unlady-like manner. Really, his mother was surprising him each minute in this conversation. “Well I’m your mother. Of course you can’t hide anything from me even if you don’t tell me,” there was now a sort of exasperation in Mrs. Choi’s voice, “I’ve been suspecting it for some time now. Of course, I used to cry myself to sleep thinking about it but what was I to do? I even broached the idea to your father once or twice you know, just to prepare him.”

Siwon decided to slow down the car and pulled over at the side of the road. This was now more disturbing than shocking. His mother! His mother actually thought he was gay!

“And really, I was throwing all those girls in your way and you were never interested. I had actually thought it was because you were traumatized by the breakup from your first, and might I add, only girlfriend,” his mother managed to insert sarcastically before continuing, “but that doesn’t seem to be the case since you’re good friends with Stella.”

Siwon was now rubbing his temples. The urge to confess that he only said he was gay to spite them because they were high-handed enough to also plan his marriage was now getting strong in the face of his mother’s rant. His mother was still going on about the things that made her suspicious about her son’s uality. What the heck?!

“So when are we to meet him?”

“Huh? Who?”

“Your bo- boyfriend.” Mrs. Choi stuttered on the word but she had decided she must be strong.

Now. Now was the best time to end this absurdity. He can confess now about what he did and talk it out with parents how he wanted to at least get a say on one of the most important decisions in his life. It was actually the first time he did something like this, openly rebelling, and their reaction wasn’t as bad as he thought. Maybe he really should have been more strong-willed long ago rather than focusing on not wanting to disappoint his parents all his life.

“I’ll bring him to dinner next weekend.”

*************

“But I also thought you were gay.”

“WHAT?”

Jiwon looked at her brother squarely as she placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “I may not have what they call a gay-dar but there were just signs that you weren’t really that interested in girls at all. I mean you treated Stella like you treated me, it was painful to watch. And after her, nada. So I figured you were either gay or you were planning to be a monk. But monks even get attracted to girls too even if they don’t act on it.”

Siwon ran a hand through his hair in vexation. His sister had visited him that evening when she was apprised of the situation by their mother. He had told Jiwon the truth of course but here she was, telling him that she actually believed it. She was as bad as their mother!

“I’m not gay,” he now said through gritted teeth.

Jiwon again looked intently at his eyes then she just shrugged, “Alright, fine. If that’s the way you want it.” Then she remembered something, “But umma said you were going to introduce your boyfriend to us. What did you plan to do about that?”

It was now Siwon who shrugged, “I don’t know. I had thought about asking Heechul-hyung or Hangeng-hyung to pretend to be my boyfriend but I figured it was risky. Mom and dad know them too well and it might get awkward later on,” he coughed embarrassedly, “I think, I think they might actually be going out.”

“So you don’t have anyone to bring next weekend?”

Siwon shook his head.

Jiwon sighed, “You are pathetic, dear brother. A face like that and you can’t get anyone?” She looked at him contemplatively for a few moments. There was a certain twinkle in her eyes as she suddenly said, “And I was thinking of also introducing my new boyfriend this weekend.”

“What?! Who?!” Siwon asked in full protective older brother mode.

“Oh oppa, you probably know him. He was one of my good friends in college. Do you remember him? Cho Kyuhyun?” Jiwon asked excitedly. 

Something heavy sank in Siwon’s stomach.  

Tall, slim, very pale skin. Fluffy hair. Beautiful eyes. Nice nose. Mesmering lips. Cheeks you want to pinch when he smiles. Smirks as if he knows everyone’s dumber than him. Long, slender fingers. Sings like an angel. Talks with a sensual voice. Really, really cute laugh.

“I don’t really remember him that much.”

“Is that so?” Jiwon was a little disappointed but then she brightened up as she suddenly got an idea, “Hey, why don’t I let you borrow him for a while?”

“Excuse me? What do you mean let me borrow him?” Siwon’s eyes widened.

“You know, to the dinner.”

Siwon was aghast, “Are you out of your mind?! And how would you explain to our parents that the boy I introduced to them as my boyfriend this weekend is your boyfriend when you bring him home, I don’t know, next month?”

Jiwon just flicked her hand, nonchalantly dismissing her brother’s misgivings, “We can just tell them that you broke up with him. And I was the one who helped him get back on his feet. Long and short of it, he fell in love with me as a consequence.”

Siwon smiled wryly, “Nice try. And how exactly does Kyuhyun go from being straight to being gay then back to being straight again?”

‘We’ll just tell them he was going through a confusing time when you met him. You took advantage of him when he was weak but after you broke up with him and with my help, he was able to bounce back so to speak.”

“And why exactly am I the villain in this story?” Siwon asked sarcastically as he crossed his arms.

“Why oppa,” Jiwon widened her eyes at him innocently, “Aren’t you going on with this charade of becoming the most rebellious son?”

*************

“Run that by me again. And this time, try to make sense.”

Jiwon rolled her eyes at Kyuhyun’s sarcasm. She had immediately dropped by his office the next day after she convinced her brother last night about her plan. Of course, she should have known that Kyuhyun was also going to be difficult about this. But she sighed and tried again.

“Alright, my brother…you remember him don’t you?”

Tall, muscled and toned body. Majestic eyebrows. Pretty lips. Chiselled face. Chocolate abs. Nice calves. Cute dimples. Always walks like a model. Looks good in anything. Prays a lot. Wants to convert everyone to Christianity. Really, really melting stare.

“No, not really.”   

Jiwon sighed again but she continued, “My brother is getting pressured by my parents to marry someone. Well he finally cracked which is good for him since I’ve been hoping since forever that he gets the stupid idea out of his head that he needs to please our parents all the time. Anyway, he told them that he was gay and he was going to bring his boyfriend to dinner this weekend.”

“And?” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow, prompting Jiwon who had paused.

“And well,” Jiwon blushed as she bashfully explained, “he doesn’t really have a boyfriend so I was wondering if you could, you know, pretend to be his boyfriend for the time being? We already talked about it and he’s game if you are.”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, he was pretty sure he was going to come down with a migraine anytime soon. Of all the most absurd, ludicrous, stupid ideas!

He cleared his throat and asked in a very silky tone, “And just exactly why do you think I’m going to agree to this?”

Jiwon flashed her most adorable smile, “Because I’m asking very nicely? And because I’ll probably pester you about it?”

Kyuhyun snorted, “I love you but not that much!”

“Please Kyunnie, please?” Jiwon pleaded as she suddenly grabbed his hands and squeezed them, “For me?”

Kyuhyun looked at her intently before he sighed and said in resignation, “Alright, but just so you know, you owe me a lot.”

Jiwon smiled happily and kissed his cheek, “I know.”

Kyuhyun tilted his head to the side as he surveyed her thoughtfully, “No, you don’t know how much you owe me for this one.”

*************

They met for lunch the next day.

“Oppa, this is oppa,” Jiwon said ingenuously while giggling.

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes but managed to shake hands with Siwon with more confidence than he felt.

“Hey, how have you been?” Siwon asked neutrally.

“I’ve been great. How about you? Well aside from this debacle with your parents, of course.”

Siwon smiled, “I’m doing fine.”

Jiwon was looking at them back and forth then she suddenly exclaimed, “Well! I thought you guys didn’t know each other that well.”

“We don’t.” Both of them said almost at the same time.

“Uh-huh,” Jiwon raised an eyebrow in suspicion but she just smiled again. “It doesn’t matter, it’s actually better if you do. Anyway, I gotta run. You two work out what you need to do,” she turned to Siwon, “Oppa, I’m entrusting him to you and oppa,” this time to Kyuhyun, “As of now, you’re his boyfriend, okay?”

“You’re…you’re leaving us?” Siwon asked, slight panic rising in his throat. Kyuhyun just frowned but said nothing.

“Well duh, if you’re both going to pretend you’re in a relationship, you need to get comfortable in each other’s presence. Besides, I’d rather not be here watching,” Jiwon explained as she stood up and gathered her things.

“But…but…”

“But what? It’s not like you need a chaperone,” Jiwon jokingly said to her brother, “Or do you? You don’t plan to jump on Kyuhyun, do you?” she teased.

After seeing him again all these years in the flesh and he just managed to become more adorable? “Of course not,” Siwon said.

“Okay, have fun!” Jiwon said cheerfully. She turned to Kyuhyun and said, “I’ll see you this Sunday,” and gave him a quick peck on the side of his lips. “And oppa,” she turned to Siwon but then her eyes widened, “Hey, what made you angry?”

Siwon quickly put his clenched fists under the table. “What? I’m not angry.”

“Okaaay,” his sister replied hesitantly then she just gave a quick shrug and also kissed her brother goodbye.

The two boys watched her walk out of the restaurant before both underwent the embarrassing process of trying not to feel shy.

Siwon cleared his throat. He was the one who had planned this, he should be the one to take charge, “Uh, so how do you want to go about this?”

Kyuhyun slowly stretched out his hand to Siwon, “Why don’t we try holding hands first?”

“H-huh?”

Kyuhyun just shrugged, “We’re going to meet your parents in a few days. We need to practice things like this.”

“I suppose so,” Siwon said as he closed the gap and linked those long, beautiful fingers with his. He felt the other’s hand twitch a little but thought it was just his imagination. Kyuhyun was already looking at the menu and seemed to be unself-conscious about their linked hands.

Unlike him, who was praying to calm down his nervousness because surely, it will make his palms sweat and he didn’t want the younger boy to take his hand away. Kyuhyun’s hand felt nice and warm and just wonderful.

He wasn’t gay, not really.

He just kinda thought Kyuhyun was beautiful ever since he met him three years ago.

*************

Jiwon called him that evening. Surprisingly, she didn’t ask how the lunch date went. She had another agenda. It’s the let’s-try-and-make-oppa-admit-he’s-gay agenda.

“Come on, oppa. I’m pretty sure you’ve been attracted to another guy before,” his sister said, “Like you know, a man-crush.”

“No, not really,” Siwon wasn’t going to admit it.

Jiwon however wasn’t convinced, “Are you telling me that you’ve never found any guy other than yourself cute or handsome? Are you that vain?”

Siwon sighed at his sister’s persistence, “Ok fine. There is one.”

Jiwon asked excitedly, “Well, who is it?”   

Your boyfriend.

“Jung Woo Sung.”

Jiwon gave a snort, “Not a celebrity! Name someone we actually know.”

Cho Kyuhyun.

“Kim Kibum.”

“Oh, Kibum-oppa,” Jiwon was delighted at hearing her brother’s high school best friend, “He is cute! Is he still available?”

Siwon narrowed his eyes, “What is it to you? You already have a boyf-… ah wait, would you be interested to date him?” he wished that he hadn’t sounded too eager that his sister found someone else attractive. Because he was also utterly confused why he would be.

“Maybe.”

“What?!”

“Hehe, just kidding,” Jiwon giggled, “I only see him as an older brother and besides, I’m pretty sure he only sees me as your younger sister.”

Siwon didn’t know if he should feel relieved or upset about it. After all, Jiwon dating another guy would mean breaking Kyuhyun’s heart. And if that was the case, then…

“You know oppa, I miss our talks like this.”

Siwon was surprised, “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Oh you know, just talking about ordinary things,” he heard Jiwon sigh, “You were far away in New York and now you come back, you’re still always busy.”

Siwon now felt guilty. It was true; he had gone away and immersed himself fully in his job because he was unhappy. If you were always busy, you tend not to remember that your life .

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he said softly, “You know you’re right, I’ve been a neglectful brother.”

Jiwon quickly assured him, “You don’t need to apologize, I know you’re doing this for umma and appa,” then she added hesitantly, “But really oppa, you should live your own life too you know.”

“I know that now.”

Jiwon tried to lift up the mood, “Well anyway, at least you built a reputation for being Mr. Perfect. I’m proud that you’re my brother but sometimes I just hate you.”

“Why?!” Siwon whined.

“Because you seem to have it all. I feel envious sometimes.”

He smiled wryly, “And I feel envious of you. I’d rather have what you have.”

“Really?” Jiwon sounded unconvinced, “What do I have that you want?”

Siwon laughed self-consciously, he had actually blurted his last statement without thinking, “I’d rather not say.”

“Hmp! Anyway, I need to hang up now. How about you take me out to dinner tomorrow?”

Siwon instantly felt his cheeks flame and was glad his sister couldn’t see him, “Ah well, Kyu and I, um, kinda planned to…”

“Meh, okay. I understand. I guess I’ll see you both on Sunday then.”

“Wait! You don’t mind? He’s your… he’s not really my boyfriend,” somehow he hated saying that as well as Kyuhyun being his sister’s.

“Well, he’s your boyfriend as long as you need him. Don’t worry about it oppa. You need to get to know each other to pass appa’s grilling. I’ll see you on the weekend. Saranghae!”

Jiwon had long hang up but he was still clutching his phone. His sister’s words still echoing in his mind.

He’s your boyfriend as long as you need him.

Well, that’s nice. And totally cruel because it wasn’t true.

*************

Siwon wondered how Kyuhyun did it. The younger boy looked cool, calm and collected in the face of his parent’s questioning. And here he was, a nervous wreck. Maybe he would have felt more comfortable if he didn’t have his arm around Kyuhyun’s waist as they sat side by side on the sofa across his parents.

Scratch that, he actually felt very comfortable at the other’s nearness. It’s just that he felt too comfortable that he was actually giddy and excited especially when Kyuhyun laid a possessive hand on his knee. He was pretty sure there was a weird expression on his face right now because his mom kept glancing at him with pursed lips. She only did that when she wanted to remind him not to show extreme emotion in front of other people like being angry, nervous or upset. Well, he wasn’t any of those things so his face probably looked like something else.

He quickly fixed the expression on his face, willing it to look a normal happy. It wouldn’t do to look like a lovesick, happy puppy. Not that he looked like that, did he?

“So, you’re a junior partner at Park and Kim,” Mr. Choi said trying to sound unimpressed. It was the name of the most prestigious corporate law firm in the city.

“Yes, sir,” Kyuhyun replied in his velvety voice.

“And what does your father do?” Mr. Choi continued with his interrogation.

“He runs a private academy.”

Mr. Choi raised an eyebrow, “Runs? You mean he owns it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And your mother?”

“Appa told her to retire from working. She was an administrator at an art school.”

“Hmp!” Mr. Choi tried hard to look unmoved but it was getting difficult in the face of the more than decent background of his son’s boyfriend. If this boy had been Jiwon’s, he would have welcomed him with open arms. The boy was handsome, smart and well-off. As it is, he was still trying to hold on to the crumbling walls of denial he built because of his son’s uality.

Mrs. Choi decided to interrupt, making sure that she stops her husband from working himself into a fury that he didn’t really feel. “Jiwon told me that you were a classmate of hers in college, is it true?”

Siwon’s hand tensed a little around Kyuhyun’s waist but Kyuhyun just patted his knee as he answered, “Yes, ma’am. We met in our senior year and we became good friends. I have actually been here before. Jiwon invited me and a few of our friends to dinner here,” the elder Chois were surprised to hear this but before they could ask, he continued, “I believe you were both abroad in Japan but I met your sister, Mr. Choi.”

Siwon of course remembered that. With his parents out of the country, Jiwon was left to their aunt’s care. He had already moved into his own apartment that time but he went over to visit at Jiwon’s insistence that he come over to meet her friends over dinner. And he had met Kyuhyun then for the first time.

“Don’t you like our Jiwon?” Mr. Choi asked almost plaintively and Mrs. Choi tried hard to refrain from rolling her eyes at her husband’s attempt to steer Kyuhyun’s interest to their daughter.

“Dear, didn’t you hear him? Of course he liked Jiwon, they were good friends,” Mrs. Choi emphasized the word as she casually sipped her after-dinner coffee.  

Mr. Choi scowled and he was back again to interrogation mode, “How long did you say you’ve been together?”

It was Siwon this time who answered his father’s queries, reciting the memorized details he had worked out with Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, on the other hand, inserted some witty comments here and there, his hand still lying comfortably all the while on Siwon’s knee. 

His father finally ran out of steam after a few minutes and announced that he was going to retire for the night. He didn’t bid Siwon a good night but he did go to Kyuhyun and shook his hand before going upstairs. His mother followed after a few moments, kissing her son good night but more importantly, letting Kyuhyun kiss her cheek. 

“My parents like you,” Siwon said, half in wonder and half in pride, when they were finally alone.

Kyuhyun just shrugged and smirked, “Old people like me. Your aunt did too.”

“How do you do it?” it wasn’t meant to be a rhetorical question because he really wanted Kyuhyun to answer it. He wasn’t interested to know the answer though; he just wanted to keep Kyuhyun talking so he can stay for some more time in their present position. He wondered if the other boy realized that he still had his arm around his waist. And if Kyuhyun also realized that he still had his hand on Siwon’s knee.

If Kyuhyun didn’t, he sure as heck wasn’t going to remind him. It felt very nice. Alright, it felt more than nice. It felt wonderful really. Like it was more than natural to be this close to Kyuhyun. As if he belonged to him…and not to his sister.

This sudden last thought was like a bucket of cold water thrown at him. What the heck am I doing? You can’t do this to Jiwon! Besides, you’ve already convinced yourself you’re not into men.

“I can’t believe this was your sister’s scheme and she couldn’t make it,” Kyuhyun muttered loudly as he finally moved away from Siwon and took out his phone from the pocket of his slacks.

No, Siwon thought as he looked at the younger boy who apparently was sending a message to Jiwon on his phone. He had never convinced himself that he wasn’t into men. There had never been a need to.

Until of course that fateful evening three years ago when Jiwon introduced this boy to him. He never thought of denying that he could be homoual because he never thought he was. But he had denied that he could be falling in love at first sight with a boy who had greeted him with a playful smirk and just a quick handshake.

And now here was that boy again.

And this time, he was now his sister’s boyfriend.

Think about her Siwon, think about Jiwon! Siwon took a deep breath and when he was sure his voice wouldn’t break, he said, “She didn’t anticipate that her boss would drop the project on her lap at the last minute.”

“I know but she should have at least tried to come by even for a few minutes,” Kyuhyun sighed as he ruffled his hair in frustration.

“Kyu?” He waited for the younger boy to look back at him. “I’m really sorry about this.”

Kyuhyun just raised his eyebrows in confusion, “Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong.”

Siwon just smiled bitterly. Not yet but I will if I don’t stop wanting you. “For putting you up to this. I-…don’t worry, after next week, we can stop this charade. I’ve decided to go back again to New York.”

There was a silence for a few minutes.

“Why did you come back if you’re just going to go back again?” Kyuhyun asked so softly that Siwon couldn’t almost hear it.

“I-…I think I’m more needed there. Appa still runs the company here smoothly, umma has her hands full with her social work and of course Jiwon. She-…you-…you take good care of her, don’t you?”

Kyuhyun frowned and tilted his head to one side, “Of course, she’s very precious to me.”

Siwon almost laughed but thankfully, was able to stop himself from going into hysterics, “So you see, I should just go back. I was doing a good job of running our company’s interest there. I mean, it’s good to be back here but everything here seems to be taken care of anyway. Everything’s still the same. Nothing changed.”

Siwon could see that Kyuhyun was confused at his last cryptic remarks so he just hastily suggested that he should accompany him home since it was already late. He was thankful that Kyuhyun didn’t protest that much that he didn’t need an to go home. He wanted to spend every minute of the available time he had with the boy now that he had decided that he’ll be going away again.

Because he was right, nothing had changed. He was a fool to think otherwise. That time abroad didn’t do anything.

He hadn’t gotten over Kyuhyun after all.   

----TBC

A/N: It's officially 1013 in my part of the world! *pumps fist* Thank you to all the subscribers and hello to my fellow WonKyu shippers/writers and friends. Happy WonKyu day! ^^ And now to sleep first...zzzzzzzz.