Today is a beautiful day.  The sun is shining down brightly, the grass is green, the birds are singing and there is this wonderful warm breeze.  You stand outside right underneath the sun.  You love the warm feeling of the sun rays hitting your skin.  WARMTH!!  That’s what you want to feel since your heart is feeling so cold and alone.  You close your eyes and let your hair fly with the wind.  You spread open your arms like you’re waiting to receive a hug from the gods.  How you wish you can keep this warm feeling forever.

“_____-ah.  Are you going to come inside or just stand out here looking crazy?” screamed Jiyong. 

“Yah! ____-ah.  They are going to start soon!” screamed YoungBae as he is walking into the church after Jiyong.

You open your eyes and look at the beautiful church in front of you.  Today is the day!  The day that the one your heart desires is going to get married.  You fake a smile as you will never let him know how much you love him.  As long as he is happy than you are happy.  You stand at the bottom of steps remembering how hurt you were when he came running to you and told you that he had great news.  You and SeungHyun have been friends since elementary school.  You two became the best of friends as you were the first one to never look away from his intense stares.  After all, you knew you loved him since the first day that you saw him.  SeungHyun has always been there for you and you were always there for him.  You both knew each other’s deepest darkest secrets and even the embarrassing moments.  You smile to yourself as you replay all those good memories that you and SeungHyun had until that moment.

(Flashback)

“_____-ah!  I’m so happy!! I have great news!” screamed SeungHyun while he is running to you.

“Tell me! Tell me!” You screamed back as you are getting out of your chair.

SeungHyun grabs you and gives you the tightest hug.  You took a sniff of his scent and hugged him back.  You just want to stay in his arms forever.  He pulls away and put both of his arms on your shoulders.  SeungHyun looks deeply into your eyes.  You can tell that he has something very serious to say.  You can feel butterflies flying around in your stomach but they aren’t the good butterflies you get when you are happy.  These were the deadly butterflies you get when you known something bad is going to happen.

“_____-ah you are my best friend and I know that you would be happy for me.  I’m getting married.”  SeungHyun had biggest smile on his face while he said this to you.  SeungHyun never seemed so happy before in your life.

“Con…C-Congratulations.”  You answered back quietly.  You bite your bottom lip trying to stop it from shivering.  That’s when you knew.  You knew that your whole world had shattered.  You can feel the tears starting to come but you look the other way hoping that he doesn’t see the pain in your eyes.

SeungHyun pulls you back into his arms.  You can feel his arms just squeezing you.  You take a deep breath and hugged him back again.  He pulled away from the hug and stares at you.  He pushes some of your hair out of your face and tucks it behind your ears.  You look at him and started to trace his facial features with your fingers.  You always loved how strong structured his cheekbones were.  Your fingers glides over his cheekbones, to his jaw line and you make your way to the bottom of his chin.  The whole time while you were tracing the face of this beautiful man, he was starring at you trying to figure out what he did wrong.  You were quite and that is not like you at all.  You feel his gaze but you refuse to look into his eyes.  You just continue to trace his face with your fingers, trying to embrace every second you have with him.  SeungHyun grabs your hand and pulls you in, closer to his body.  You rest your head on his chest and you can hear his heart beating.  He grabs your chin ever so softly and lifts your head up so you can look at him. He leans in slowly and gives you a kiss on the forehead.

“_____-ah.  Don’t be sad.  Even if I am married, you will always be my best friend.”

(Back to Reality)

“Best friend” you screamed out loud.  “I don’t want to be your best friend!”  You shake your head and try to act strong.  You slowly start making your way up the outside steps and into the church.  You look up and see that Daesung is standing at the top waiting for you.  He sticks out his hands to you inside.  You smile sweetly at him and accepted his offer.  Linked arms in arms you two made your way to your seats.  The church is breath-taking.   The ceiling is about 30ft high and there are huge windows on both sides of the aisle that are letting in the perfect amount of sun light.  There are flowers everywhere.  There are rose petals on the floor, on the seats and slowly falling from the ceiling.  This is definitely a dream wedding.

You noticed that everyone has taken their seats.  This can only mean one thing; the wedding is going to start soon.  You sit right in the middle between Daesung and YoungBae.  You can feel your palms getting sweaty and your heart racing.  You look around the church to try to find something to distract you from thinking too much.  You stared at everything, the ceilings, the walls, the guest, the floors, the seats, everything but the altar. 

You see from the corner of your eyes that Jiyong is waiving to someone.  You follow his hand movement with your eyes and there he was.  The man that you were madly in love with, standing at the front of the alter looking like a god.  He has on an all black tuxedo with pink details.  He has his blue hair comb to the side but slick back.  SeungHyun gives you the biggest smile ever.

The music started to play and everyone stood up.  Tears are now coming down from your eyes as this is it.  Everyone turns around to get a glimpse of the beautiful bride but you.  You can’t look at her, NO you do not want to look at her; instead you stand there looking at him.  You pay attention to all of his movements.  You start to get memorized by his flawless skin, his perfect body structure and his gaze. Your heart skipped a beat as you see him reach his hand out to grab his wife to be. 

Your heat is racing and your breathing is getting shorter but faster.  You feel like someone just punch a hole through your chest and pulled your heart out.  You want to SCREAM! You start to CRY!  You just want it all to STOP!!!  You just can’t stop staring at him….

“Let us pray” said the priest.  As everyone bows their head down and close their eyes, you kept your head up.  You watched as he interlocks his fingers into hers and pulls her a little closer to him.  SeungHyun closes his eyes and you can see him giving his wife to be a little squeeze on the hands.  You can’t stand this!  You can’t bear it!

You close your eyes and let the tears fall freely.  You sob quietly until you feel a hand wiping away your tears.  You open your eyes to see that YoungBae is looking at you with the most sympathetic expression. You smile at him and he whispers that it will all be okay.  You close your eyes again and slowly begin to pray….