I was stranded alone at the bus stop, waiting for the rain to stop. It seems like Mother Nature is portraying what I am feeling today. I stared hard at the road in front of me. My tears were blurring my vision, but no matter how many times I wiped them away, they just could not stop forming in my eyes. Suddenly the road in front of me turned into a movie screen, playing back the memories I had of the incident that cause my life to tumble down. If only I could turn back the time, I had do anything to prevent losing him.

“Jay! Can you stop controlling me?! I have a life to lead! Just because you’re my brother, it does not mean that you can control and decide what to do with MY life!!!!” I gave him a piercing cry.

“The reason that I am your brother, gives me every right to choose what you can or cannot do! And because you are the only family I have, gives me every reason to be protective of you….” He whispered through his last sentence, but was still loud enough for me to hear.

“I know that you care Jay, but this time you have crossed the line. You beat up some random guy who was asking for direction, for goodness sake! You’re lucky enough he didn’t want to press any charges against you!! I WISHED YOU WERE GONE FROM MY LIFE!!!!!!!” With that, I ran out of our apartment, left Jay stunned. I guess he got back his soul when I heard him calling out for me. I did not acknowledge his screams and ran across the road without taking notice for an incoming car.

“JESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” That was the last call I heard from him, before realising that I was pushed aside to the pavement. I heard a loud thud following his scream. I was not in the right state of mind to figure out what just happened until a crowd gathered around a body. My mind was in a whirlwind when I saw the body lying on the road.

“Jay...JAY!!!!!!” I pushed away all the passer-by. To my dismay, Jay was lying on the ground, breathing hard, and his blood was flowing profusely from the back of his head. I kneeled down beside him, shaking his body, crying uncontrollably. Just like in the movie, rain came crashing down to earth.

“SOMEONE! ANYONE! Call the ambulance! PLEASE!” Words came out from my mouth in panic. I was drenched in both my tears and the rain.

“Jess, you’ve gotten your wish. I’m going away, to see mom and dad. I hope they are happy to see me.” He spoke with so much difficulty breathing, but he still managed to smile.

“Stop talking! You will be okay, no wait, YOU NEED TO BE OKAY JAY! Please! I’m sorry Jay! Just wait awhile more.” I could hear the faint ambulance siren.

“No, I’m… one who… should be saying… sorry… I’m sorry baby sis. You don’t have to hear my nag… naggings anymore. Goodbye Jess, I love you baby sis.” His voice was disappearing, his breathing slowly stopped, and his body was motionless.

“No Jay! You cannot leave me! Jay, you were the only family I have. Jay!” I shook his body harder, my tears with was rolling hard down my cheeks.

The sound of the thunder made me came back to reality. I looked up to the sky and back to the road in front of me. It feels like it was only yesterday that I had seen him lying motionless on the road. Every rainy day never fails to remind me that I had lost someone so close to me.

“Jay… I hope you are at a better place right now, watching over me.” I smiled as I climbed up the bus.