it is dark. the only light coming into the room is the set of the autumn sun, an orange tint filtering in through beige window sheers. there is a desk, a bookcase, a bed, a dresser, and a bed frame with two mattresses on it. all of these things (save for the mattresses) are the same deep mahogany, and the orange is good against it, warming the wood slightly, even in the low fifties of the autumn dusk. two boys, kris and lu han, sit on the mattresses atop the mahogany bed frame and look at each other.

kris has his hands under lu han’s shirt, his palms resting flat against the other boy’s stomach. lu han has his hands curled over kris’ shoulders, his fingers digging into the other boy’s clothed skin. lu han’s face is pretty in this lighting, kris thinks. kris’ face is nice in this lighting, lu han thinks. they look at each other and they blink a bit but the rest of their respective bodies don’t seem to move.

they suppose this is their way of watching the sun set. they suppose they can see the light from their window fade as the sun’s filtered streaks also begin to cease against each others’ faces. soon enough, the sun will retire for the night and they will too, long after the moon has taken the sun’s place.

moving for the first time in half an hour or more, kris’ fingers curl against the skin of lu han’s belly. he leans over and he puts his forehead on lu han’s forehead. he sighs a little and then says, “i feel glad to have you.”

immediately, lu han’s cheeks heat up. the sun is already off his face, so he has no excuse. he accepts his fate and says, “i feel glad to have you, too. i like that we can do this every once in a while. it makes me feel good.”

kris keeps smiling until he moves in closer and puts his lips on lu han’s lips. their mouths are barely touching. both their mouths hang open slightly, a single word seeming to have caught between their lips. they don’t do anything for seconds, but suddenly, simultaneously, their eyes fall shut and their lips touch fully in a kiss. they do not look at each other while their lips dance together. they do not see the sun go away.

splaying his hands out once more, kris slowly pushes his hands up, until he can feel the soft indent of lu han’s ribs. he pulls his lips away from lu han’s lips and says, quiet, “i’m going to take your shirt off, okay?”

lu han nods a bit and opens his eyes and lifts his arms. he sees a lot of grey. the orange seems to have gone away. soon, he feels cold. then, he feels fingertips cascading down his skin. he has goosebumps. his hands find their way back to kris’ broad shoulders and his fingers curl once more when he feels kris’ lips against his collarbone.

beneath kris’ hands, lu han feels so small. he feels fragile and handled like delicate china. he thinks he likes the way it feels, likes the way kris presses the heel of his palm against the spaces between his ribs, likes the way it feels when kris’ fingertips brush against his navel. kris keeps his touch light, and lu han likes that.

kris trails kisses down lu han’s chest, scooting backwards on the bed so he can bend over and push lu han back in order to run his lips down lu han’s sides. he presses open-mouthed kisses against lu han’s sticky-outty ribs, and then he mumbles, “the sun is gone, but you’re still so warm. like, weird.. warm. not like.. normal warm or like sick warm, just warm.”

it seems like kris is just talking to be talking, but lu han replies, “but i feel cold, like inside. can you give me a hug. i like these kisses but your face is kind of cold.”

“okay.” kris says. he moves towards lu han and lays down. lu han lays down beside him. kris puts his arm around lu han and lu han rolls over to put his face against kris’ chest.

they hold each other like this and lu han thinks he likes this, too, likes it when kris holds him too tight, like an old, safe teddy bear, likes it when kris tangles their legs together.

i feel bad about this