005

"cut..perfect, siwon-sshi…you can rest till your next shoot".

"ok, thanks sir". Siwon smiled and bowed politely to the director before going to his room.

As soon as he closed the door, he sighed heavily and threw himself on the leather couch. He was exhausted; he has been shooting since the morning.

There're just two shoots and you'll go..he kept stimulating himself, but boring boring boring. he didn't want to rest..he just wanted to leave..c'mon what would he do in those 30 minutes?. he wasn't hungry..and if he had tried to just close his eyes, he'd have fallen asleep on that comfortable couch. And if he had done that, he wouldn't have been in the mood to continue working.

He sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket and kept transferring between the contacts' names till the selector button stopped on leeteuk's name…he stared at it.

Call him

His thumb was about to press on the green button, but he moved it backward quickly..no no, of course he'll be busy. And if not, he'll call me down for calling him during my work time and he'll say that I don't pay attention to my work. He sighed and put the phone aside.

Siwon dragged his laptop from the table lazily and opened leeteuk's folder, he was hiding in his laptop, so if someone uses his laptop, he won't see it. Siwon kept smiling to each picture, he has missed Leeteuk..he had been away for two weeks for shooting his new drama. In that folder, siwon was keeping leeteuk's pictures…his pictures in the dorm..when he wakes up..with his messy hair and wearing his ducky pajamas..when he was sleeping peacefully..when he was just sitting or stare at the TV.. he was keeping them all. All the natural pictures..not the photo shoots..not like the photographers told him how to look, how to smile, how to frown..not how they wanted him to be. siwon liked Leeteuk…No, he has loved him. he loved the real Leeteuk..the natural one..the natural and the pure face without any makeup.

Siwon signed in twitter..maybe posting some tweets, some pictures about his upcoming drama, or even reading the fans' replays would kill the time. In writing box, he started to write..

"In the location for shooting the ne- "

he stopped as he saw Leeteuk hashtag. he stared at it..he started to delete what he was about to write..stupid tweets or pictures he'll post..it can wait and he pressed on the hashtag.

Actually, siwon was always doing that. He was always going to leeteuk's hashtag not his personal account. He already memorizes by heart every tweet Leeteuk posted and he knew Leeteuk had a busy schedule these days, so he wouldn't be on twitter. Plus, he liked to go to that page. He liked to see how the fans were talking about Leeteuk.. he liked to see the fans love Leeteuk more day by day, or how they describe his cute and beautiful features. His big brown eyes when he blinks or gets shocked..his small sculpted nose..his deep red cheeks when he blushes..his small cute pouted lips when he pouts or when he even bite them..his little dimple when he grins happily..his silky locks that everyone dreams to touch them. His cute dozing when he feels asleep..how they see him a fallen angel.

Siwon felt himself one of those fans, but he wasn't an obsessed.. He was a man in love.

He didn't feel jealous or angry when they described him like that...Never..he felt happy..full. he wanted all the people in that world to love Leeteuk..to support him because he deserves to be loved, but he wished he could have had leeteuk's heart. That's the only part he wished it was only his.

As the hashtag's page was downloaded, his eyes caught some tweets..not like the normal tweets..

- No #Leeteuk.. don't go plzzzz  ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

- @special1004 I do hate October >.< #leeteuk

-Super junior can't be without #leeteuk ;;;;A;;;

- RT @sup3rjunior  Super Junior’s Leeteuk will join the army on Oct. 30

He froze like someone shot him with a gun. Of course, it was a joke..a ridiculous joke..it couldn't be. Siwon grabbed the mouse with his shaky hands. He opened SM official site..the news was there.

Noway..the tears started to fall on his cheeks  uncontrollably and he ran his fingers through his hair nervously..it can't be..I didn't tell him yet

And without wasting any other second in thinking, he called leeteuk's number.

"Anyasayo?". The soft familiar voice came from the phone.

"L-Leeteuk hyung". He  managed to control his sobs.

"Oh!..Hey siwon-ah…you forgot your hyung since you're with  Jung Ryeo-won-sshi". Leeteuk joked.

Siwon shut his eyes firmly and gritted his teeth to not collapse in his crying. "Hyung, I want to see you".

"ok siwon-ah, let's meet after a week when you come back".

"No no hyung, I want to see you Now".

"but-"

"meet me after an hour in serien, bye".  And before Leeteuk could say anything, siwon hanged up.

Leeteuk narrowed his eyes as he stared at the phone's screen. "what's wrong with him?".

Leeteuk pushed the door of the café siwon told him to meet him in. his eyes traveled around the busy place until his eyes caught a familiar muscled back in the corner was leaning his arms on the table. He approached him

"s-siwon". He hesitating voice made the other guy turned…you

"Leeteuk hyung". Siwon whispered.

"siwon-ah, are you okay?". Leeteuk turned his attention from siwon to the two bottles of soju on the table..siwon was half drunk.

Siwon stared at him..no, I'm not..he forced a smile "yes, hyung..i'm happy to see you".

Leeteuk smiled warmly "me too, siwon-ah".

"oh! Please sit, hyung". And Leeteuk sat in front of him "so how the things are going with Jung Ryeo-won-sshi? I heard she's beautiful and kind..of course that didn't make you have time to call your poor hyung up". He said jokily.

"Hyung, u'll leave?". Siwon ignored leeteuk's joke.

Leeteuk took one of the soju's bottles and took a sip..he closed his eyes in irritating "it's bitter".

"answer me please, hyung..u'll leave?"..please don't leave me..please

Leeteuk kept playing with the bottle to avoid his dongsaeng's eyes that were looking at him "yeah, but it's still the whole month u know".

Do u think that month is enough for me? didn't you think how will I even spend that month? How will I spend it and I know you'll leave me after that? Do you think it's that easy to wake up and find out that you're gone!..i live my life because you're in it..because of you, I have a reason why I want to wake up tomorrow..what if that tomorrow comes and you won't be here?..i know I didn't have you, but at least you were here..beside me.

"do u really have to go?" siwon's obtrusive voice obliged Leeteuk to look at him. He tried to smile and hold back the lump that attacked his throat. "yes siwon-ah, I have to".

Siwon squeezed his hands together and looked at the table. "I'm…Leeteuk hyung…I'm".

I'm in love with you since the early beginning. Please stay with me..or please take me with you. Maybe it looks so stupid to even say that, but if the stupidity is the only way, I'm stupid then..but don't let me here.

"you are what siwon-ah?".

"I-I'm..I'm afraid hyung".

"yah! They're just 2 years..i'll go to the army..i won't die or something". He laughed trying to cheer his dongsaeng up.

"I'm afraid I can't handle that, hyung". Siwon mumbled.

Leeteuk smiled warmly and his eyes fixed as he was talking to the air. " I'd be afraid if I left my kids alone, but since your appa kangin came back, I don't have to worry anymore".

Siwon gritted his teeth, he inhaled heavily from his nose soundly and hit his fist on the wooden table. Siwon couldn't take it anymore.." kangin kangin..it's always kangin, what's with him?..why can't you feel me"..his last words were strangulated from the anger, so Leeteuk didn't hear them. Leeteuk jumped in his chair when he heard the loud voice of the struck wood.. he blinked it wasn't siwon..siwon won't do something like that.

"s-siwon, what's wrong? Did I say something bothered you? I'm sorry".

He froze and stared at his hyung..he couldn't believe he didn't that..he shook his head. "uhh..hyung, I'm so sorry..i'm just stressed because of working..please forgive me..please".

Leeteuk nodded in understanding. "I know siwon-ah, it's ok".

Then, they sat in silence for several minutes..siwon was thinking about whether Leeteuk heard the last words or not and Leeteuk was drown in his thoughts.

" are you still upset of me, hyung?". Siwon asked in worry.

Leeteuk smiled warmly and patted his dongsaeng's shoulder. " of course not, siwon-ah..i can't be upset of my favorite dongsaeng". Siwon smiled back, but Those  words were always killing him inside.

"so what's wrong?..you seem deep in thoughts, hyung".

Leeteuk forced a smile. "nothing important".

You're the important thing in my whole life.."how come don't you tell you favorite dongsaeng what bothers you..c'mon hyung tell me".

leeteuk sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. " I'm just worried about my hair. How will I look?..how will the elfs react?..i didn't shave it before..you know".

" it won't vary much hyung..don't worry..nd if so, what with that hyung?..we don't love you because of how you look..you love jungsu more".

I swear I do.

Leeteuk tried to smile, but his tear that fell on his left cheek came to disappoint him.

"oh!". He said as his shaky hand tried to wipe his tear in embracing. He hated when he seemed weak in front of his dongsangs. Siwon wanted so bad to hug him..to squeeze his body in his arms..and just let Leeteuk hale.

But he couldn't..he couldn't do that.

Siwon placed his hand on leeteuk's and gave it a little pat. " please don't worry..we'll always be here for you"…he wished he could have done more..he wished leeteuk could have known how much he means to him..how much he's weak without him..how much he's more afraid than him.

" shall we go?". Leeteuk's voice cut his thoughts off.

" oh!, o-ok!".

Siwon's car stopped on the other side of the dorm. He eyed the building before turning to Leeteuk.

Leeteuk smiled. " are you coming with me?".

Siwon smiled back alitle. " no hyung, I have to get back".

" I know siwon-ah, take care of yourself". and siwon nodded in respone

" will you be there when..when I go?".

No, I can't..i can't..i'm not that strong to do that.

" I…I-I don't think so, hyung..there'll be shooting and-".

" I know siwon..it's ok". And he smiled warmly.

Siwon stared at him…I'll miss your smile.

" good night siwon-ah". Leeteuk said softly and grabbed the knob to open the door, but siwon stopped him.

" what is it, siwon-ah?".

" please hyung, I didn't mean what I said earlier..please forgive me..u know how I can be stupid sometimes".

"you're not, siwon-ah". Leeteuk softly said and smiled.

" forever brothers?". Leeteuk opened his arms widely and his smiled winded.

Siwon stared at him.. I'll love you forever.

" forever hyung". And he hugged him.

Siwon felt the tears started to fall, but he manged to wipe them before Leeteuk could break the hug.

" good night, siwon-ah".

Siwon felt his voice throttled in his throat. " good night hyung".

Siwon eyes followed Leeteuk as he was walking to the building..

If I'm louder,Would you see me?

Would you lay down in my arms and rescue me?

"where were you?". Leeteuk jumped as he felt a hand was placed on his shoulder.

" oh kangin-ah!". He sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

" you made me worry..you know". Kangin scold in a gentle tone.

" sorry kangin-ah, but I had to do something before coming back home".

kangin approached him. " never mind..at least I know you're fine now". Kangin wiped leeteuk's sweat from his

forehead and smiled. " are you tired?".

Leeteuk smiled. " not much".

" let's go to the park then!".

" ok!". Leeteuk blushed and took the offered hand.

They walked to the park, that was 2 blocks away from their dorm.

Leeteuk looked at the moon and drown in his thoughts. Kangin put his arm around leeteuk's shoulder pulling

him closer to his chest.

" don't worry, angels don't go to hell". He whispered in his ear.

Leeteuk lifted his eyes and smiled. " thanks for being here".

" you're always welcome". Kangin smiled and kissed his nose. 

Siwon was watching the scene from his car..

When he opens his arms

And holds you close tonight

It just won't feel right
 

Cause I can't love you more than this..

Cause I can't love you more than this.

He pulled the white velvet box out of his pocket and took the silver ring that was in it approaching the slight

written words on it to his eyes.." J's my Every "

Then, he looked at the typical ring in his ring finger .." thing ".

_____________________________________________________________

this one shot should have been uploaded since Ages, but i didn't have p.c to upload..sorry for that =.=

nd I'm so sorry for the lame upload TT_TT