written on 121003; edited on 130329; 1,083 words long

It was like any other day; the alarm went off and Changjo would groan in annoyance as his head threatened to explode from the lack of sleep. He’d push himself off the bed and hit the snooze button, crawling back into bed, lying with his eyes closed as he counted the day. Twenty four.

Changjo sighed as the alarm went off five minutes later, growling in annoyance as he shifted in his bed keeping his eyes closed. It was like any other day, where he’d go through the routine of the day, dreading the idea of having to be anywhere near his ex boyfriend, let alone being seatmates with him in homeroom.

After what seemed like forever, Changjo pushed himself from his bed a second time to turn off his alarm. He read the red LED letters: 5:24 am. He’d have at least an hour to get ready and leave for school. It wouldn’t be a problem for him; he enjoyed school for its classes and his friends. If it wasn’t for the fact that his ex boyfriend went to the same school as him, he would be at least more sociable. His ex was pretty well known, so it was hard to avoid him and anything about him. So it was even more painful to deal with.

Changjo sighed as he pulled on his school uniform, ruffling his bed head into something seemingly more decent and pulled his bag over his shoulders. The most he’d have to deal with was the fact that his name can be heard by his friends, who ultimately were Byunghun’s as well, and that was it. It wasn’t like they meant it; they just assumed everything was better after the week full of crying in classes. It wasn’t the stereotypically manly type of thing to do, but he’d done it.

In his trail of thought, memories of what had been, Changjo found him standing at the entrance gate to his school with the building not too far away. Straightening his posture, Changjo walked through the schoolyard with a straight face. Nothing too happy, but nothing to show any hint of depression.

He let out a sigh as he reached the entrance to the building itself. He didn’t know if it was intentional on the other person’s part, since there were three pairs of doors, but he felt someone run into him as he reached for the door. Out of habit Changjo whispered a faint, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, Jonghyun,” The familiar mumble caused him to freeze in place. Don’t get him wrong, Changjo had fantasized of the day Byunghun would come crawling back to him, but this… he definitely wasn’t ready for it.

He stayed quiet, staring at their reflections in the tinted windows. Byunghun was staring at either him or the ground but mostly him, and he was staring straight into the doors. His own reflection was, simply put, pathetic; he was about to cry, and it looked like he wasn’t trying to keep his calm exterior pieced together with his nose wrinkled as his eyes watered, he unconsciously sniffled.

“I know you don’t want to see me, but hear me out alright?” Byunghun paused, probably forming his next sentences in his head carefully before speaking out again, “I’m sorry about what happened. I shouldn’t have done that to you. I hurt you, someone I cared so much for, and I’d get if you’d hate me and not want to talk to me anymore.”

He hesitated to speak, and left a long silence between them as he waited for a reaction, “What are you doing here? Why are you talking to me…?”

“I want you back,” Byunghun sighed, looking down at the ground, “I know you won’t trust me, but I love you. I regret what I’ve done to you. Seeing you hurt so much, thinking about how much you’ve probably cried, and remembering how you reacted… I’m sincerely sorry, Jonghyun. You might not believe me, but I still love you.”

Changjo hesitated this time. Out of all of the scenarios that he’d have thought up of when Byunghun would be crawling back to him begging for him back, like now, he’d never thought he’d be the first to say it. To say that he’d still love him. In all honesty, Changjo had convinced himself that the reason his ex boyfriend left him was because the older was tired of him. He was convinced Byunghun stopped loving him.

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Why should I trust you?’ or ‘This is ing bull’ but it’s true. I really do love you, Jonghyun.” Changjo looked back when he first met Byunghun. He didn’t really like his name, it was too common, and so he came up with a nickname that all his friends had grown accustomed to shortly after. Even Byunghun started calling him that, but out of nowhere he was given a small pet name or just called ‘Jonghyun’. He was the only person outside of his family that did. “Just give me another chance, please.”

“You hurt me,” Changjo blatantly pointed out the obvious; “I shouldn’t trust you, but I do. I don’t get why. I should be ignoring you and sitting in homeroom right now… But do what you want. If you want this, I have no control over that realistically, just know that you’re going to have to start off as a friend and convince me of how serious you are.”

“Are you saying I might have a chance?” Byunghun perked a bit, staring curiously at the younger male. There was something about him that changed. It wasn’t the fact that he wasn’t smiling, there was a time where in their relationship he had stopped smiling, at least it felt like he did. It wasn’t the obvious physical appearance of course, Byunghun knew Changjo had insecurities and it was only normal that he changed the way he looked until he felt comfortable in being himself (not that it mattered to the older, he loved him regardless). It felt like, and he had noticed this watching him around the school, no matter how close you stood close to Changjo, he was never close enough. He was distant, like he was somewhere else. It crushed him to see that was what happened to his ex boyfriend. He’d rather the boy hate him than build up thicker walls.

“Maybe,” Changjo reached for the door, holding it open for Byunghun as they both walked into the building.