Ever since 1st grade and until now in highschool, I have a crush on Junhyung, my best friend. But I haven't had the nerve to say it to him but. . . but. . .

"Junhyung! You joined a frat?"

"Yeah"

"Why?"

"Nothing. . . I just want to join"

"But-"

"But what?? You're worried I might get hurt?"

". . . "

"I can handle myself okay? No need for you to worry"

But I worried. Since he joined the frat, he started being absent in school everyday.

One time, I went to the park. I was thinking of Junhyung. Why doesn't he show up? Was it because of the frat he joined in? Is he just sick?

Then I saw Junhyung. I called out his name, hoping that he'll notice me. But he didn't look around to see who it was. he just kept walking. I followed him. I tried to call him by phone and I just watched him ignore it. We ended up in an ally. I hid beside a wall and watched Junhyung. Junhyung was greeted by three guys and was greeted by ten more guys. I was guessing. . . It was the frat.

"HEY!" a booming voice said. "Soo. . . Let's get started!"

Then I saw what they were doing. they were hazing. I can clearly see in Junhyung's face that he was in pain. He wasn't  making any noise of pain, but clearly. . . He was in real pain.

I can't stand it anymore. I got out from hiding and faced them.

"STOP!"

They stopped. They looked around only to see me. I just realized they were many of them. I froze. Fear came to me. I tried to move, but it's as if I was glued to the ground.

"Stop. . . Stop" My voice was weaker than I expected

"HEY!" It was their leader. " It seemes we got a girl here!"

They cheered maliciously.

"How gorgeous!"

"Let's "play" miss!"

"Let's DO her!"

"WAIT! let's do it until she gives us a strip show!"

They cheered more loudly. Now I was more afraid. I was breaking into sweat as they approached me. They circled around me, idioticly shouting.

"Strip show! Strip show! Strip show!"

I closed my eyes, not knowing what would happen. I felt someone touched my clothes. They shouted louder. But then it ceased. I opened my eyes just to see the crowd departed, showing me a guy on the floor hurt, and Junhyung standing there ready to punch the guy.

It seems the guy who touched my clothes was punched by Junhyung.

"Just try!" Junhyung said " Just try that again to her, and I'll make sure that you-"

"Hey Junhyung" Their leader said. "Stop it. You don't want someone to get right?" Then he looked at me and smirked. "Go" he said. He stil looked at, smirking malicously. i didn'y know why he let us go just like that, but we left.

I was still scared, but then Junhyung was there.

"why did you do that Tiffany? They couldv'e done something to you!"

". . . I'm sorry"

He sighed. ". . .Are you alright?"

". . . I was scared"

"Hey. . . It's okay. We're fine now. . . I promise they won't do that ever again"

". . . I missed you"

". . . I missed you too"

The next day, he didn't go to school. After a few weeks he still didn't show up. I tried to text and call him but he doesn't reply nor answer. I've always waited for him since, wondering why he doesn't show up. Is it because of the frat? Is he sick? Did he move to another school? Is he on vacation? Why?

One day, he appeared in school. I was happy and at the same time, concerned.

"Junhyung! JUNHYUNG!"

He didn't look to see who it was. He just continued walking.

"Hey! Junhyung! What's happening to you?!"

"Nothing"

"You're hiding something from me"

"I don't need to hide something from you"

"What do you mean? Why are you always absent? Why aren't you replying to my text? Why don't you answer my call? WHY DO YOU IGNORE ME?!"

Junhyung walked away, leaving me with no answers.

I followed him.

"WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO YOU!"

He stopped and faced me. He spoke:

"Who are you to bother me?"

It gave me a moment of siilence when he said that.

What am I to him? Am I really just a bother to him? Does it just end there?

He walked away, never showed up to me and in this school. I don't even call or text him anymore, just because of what he said : "Who are you to bother me?" But why do I still miss him? Why do I still wait for him even if he's not going back? Why do I still love him though he said those things to me? Why?

One time, I strolled down in the park, then I saw him. He was looking worse. He looks really tired and exhausted. And he was looking like he was really sorry about something.

"Junhy-!" I stopped. I remembered what he said. I backed away. I tried to stop myself from following (again), but I followed him, We ended up in the same place in the ally. Junhyung was greeted by their leader.

"'Sup?"

". . . " Junhyung didn't say a word.

"Hey" The leader called out the other guys. "Did he followed the deal?"

The guys smirked at each other and nodded.

"Good" their leader said. "Well, let's begin."

They did it all over again. they were hazing. On Junhyung's face, I can clearly see he's in pain, only it was worse. He aws in pain that I can't even describe. I wanted them to stop. But if I did, It'll be the same thing, or worse. He might just ignore me , and let them do what they want to do with me. So I just helplessly watched them. But everytime, it grew worse, and worse. And acrazy thought came to me. I don't care what happens to me. Just as long Junhyung is alright, I'll be fine."

"STOP!" It was the same thing all over again.

I ran, shoving the guys on the way to junhyung. Junhyung was there, sitting helplessly in pain.

"JUNHYUNG!" I hugged him. "Are you alright?!"

I held his hand.Come on! We've got to get out of here!"

"We won't let you do that miss" it was their leader.

He sighed, looking at junhyung. " I guess you didn't keep the end of oour deal. . . Oh well! This is much more fun!"

They surrounded me. I was scared. They were snickering, laughing, and whispering in a malicious way. I tried to shove my way out, but they just shoved me in.

"Don't go miss!" they said "We haven't started yet!"

"S-STOP! Don't touch me!"

Then it happened so fast, junhyung knocked out two guys from the crowd. The crowd turned to Junhyung.

"What the heck did you do to them?!" they asked him.

Then it started. they were fighting each other. I tried to stop them but it was no use. they just shoved me out of their way. So I helplessly watched them fight. It was frightening. Seeing Junhyung got hurt was killing me.

"Hey!. . . " A guy said hoping to stop their fight. "HEY!" The guy shouted enough for everyone to hear.

"We gotta go!" He said. "Right now! Like, really right now!"

The fight ended. The frat left, leaving me and Junhyung. Junhyung was badly beaten and bruised. "Junhyung!. . . Junhyung?. . . Junhyung!!!"

He passed out.

"Help!. . . Help!. . . HELP!"

Now I was at the Hospital, waiting. The Doctor came out of the room.

"Doctor! What happened? Is he alright!?"

". . . He's in a critical condition because of hazing. . . and, he wants to speak to you.

I went inside the room. There lied Junhyung. he was bruised and he was pale as a sheet.

" Tiffany. . . Come here" His voice was weaker than ever.

"Yes?"

". . . I'm really sorry"

"W-what are you saying? You have done nothing to say sorry to me!"

"Yes I did. . . I ignored you and hurt you. . . But I did that to save you."

"Save me?"

"Me and the frat had a deal. . . If I just ignore you, they won't do something crazy to you. . . I'm really sorry"

"No, no! it's okay! It's okay!"

". . . Tiffany?"

"Yes Junhyung? I was close to tears.

"I've wanted to say this to you for a long time. . . Ever since 1st grade and until now . . . I love you"

He smiled and closed his eyes.

"Junhyung, I love you too!. . . Junhyung? Junhyung? JYUNHYUNG!"

Junhyung was dead, not hearing what I said. . .  I should have known what he did to save me 

•   •   •

“I love you,” the words I won’t be able to say anymore

“I love you,” the words I can’t say anymore

“I love you,” the words I can’t say as I look towards you

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you