Even though it was the warm rays of the sun resting nicely over his and the birds singing their love-songs outside the window that woke Hyukjae up that morning, he didn’t feel any specific happiness.

Honestly, he hadn’t been feeling very happy any of the days earlier this week on the mornings, since he always woke up alone after Donghae had left his side and leaving the spot next to him on the bed cold. At the beginning of the week the other had at least been considerate and left a nice breakfast prepared and even a rose placed next to it, but for each day passed he didn’t get anything special, not even a tiny cup of coffee.

But today felt the worst. Hyukjae had expected Donghae to actually be right next to him as he woke up today, because today was a special day. At least that was what Hyukjae thought. He turned to lie on his back, arms lazily hung in front of his face to hide the sun from blinding him, as he cursed his supposed-to-be-good boyfriend.

Hyukjae thought he had made it very clear, though in an implied way, that he was very keen on anniversaries. To him, it was something symbolic and precious, that a couple has made it to a far point and from there they would know how much further they would be going. It was something worth celebrating, but a few days earlier when he asked if Donghae had wanted to do something on their anniversary, he had simply replied “yeah”, smiled that dazzling Donghae-like smile and gave him a fast peck before taking a shower, never saying anything more about it.

Today, one year had passed, 365 days, since Donghae and Hyukjae had become a couple. The younger had laughed at him before when he had told Donghae he counted the days they had been together as one, but he also gave him that heart-warming gaze and said a small “thanks”. Hyukjae blushed hard at that time.

He heaved a sigh as he literally rolled out of bed, dragging his feet along with some new set of clothes into the bathroom to take a shower. Even under the splashing water, Hyukjae kept on wondering if Donghae simply didn’t care about anniversaries or that he just forgot about it. Maybe it was too childish? But since it was their first, shouldn’t Donghae think it was a little bit special as well?

Eventually, Hyukjae gave up. If Donghae didn’t care, then why should he?

Sulking, Hyukjae proceeded to going to work, glaring at the pack of cereals his boyfriend had been so considerate to put on the dining table for him, as he passed the kitchen.

*

“Hey, you’re spacing out again Hyuk!”

“Damn, let him grow some long hair and he would totally look like Sadako. Seriously, he’s even creepier than Jongwoon.”

“Hyung!”

“Just look at the guy! He’s like a living dead!”

A blond male picked the book out of Hyukjae’s paralyzed hands and hit the latter’s head with it. That managed to wake him up, now having him whining at his hyung.

“Heechul hyung! That really hurt!” Pouting, he pulled the book back from Heechul and put it on its right place in the shelf, then proceeding with the rest of the books.

“Well you’re the one slacking off work.” The blond male stuck his tongue out and walked down the literature aisle and took a left turn with a pile of books in his arms.

“Don’t let him get to you Hyuk, he’s just teasing.” Another male comforted him while patting his shoulder consolingly and put up one of the books in the cart in its ordinary shelf. They both lowered their voices as they realized the whole library had been quiet and Jongwoon glided past them with a glare, telling they were too noisy.

“I’m not, Ryeowook, I’m just not in the mood right now.”

The younger male pushed the cart in front of him, Hyukjae following just like Heechul had said: as a living dead.

“Something’s happened?” Ryeowook asked, continuing doing Hyukjae’s work of putting back the books, since the latter seemed to be incapable of that at the moment. “As long as I have known you, you’ve always been a mood maker. It’s kind of creepy to see you like this.”

With a whine stuck in his throat, Hyukjae waited with answering. Several times he had checked his cell phone for any texts or calls from Donghae, and it wasn’t until after lunch-time that the latter actually sent a “Happy anniversary” text, with a heart following. Typing back, Hyukjae felt a little bit better, but he still hadn’t got to see Donghae, nor heard his voice, making him even more depressed.

Even as he tried to call his boyfriend back first, he didn’t get any answer so he turned off his cell phone - equally decided if Donghae was to call him back he wouldn’t be able to pick up.

The day passed too slowly, Heechul continuing mocking his depressed behaviour and Ryeowook giving him pitying glances. The latter had to bother Hyukjae a lot to make him spill his problem.

“Donghae doesn’t care about our first year anniversary.” He said lazily as he laid his head on top of the reception desk, the few customers who passed gave him un-approving gazes. “He’s even been too busy with his work the whole week.”

Ryeowook gasped quietly to himself. “Donghae... That fluffy-haired guy? You’re still together?” Hyukjae raised an eyebrow at Ryeowook’s weird definition of his boyfriend, but nonetheless he nodded.

 “It’s our first anniversary and he still didn’t even bother to wake me up before leaving.” Restlessly, he started ripping a piece of paper into smaller bits just to take out his nervousness on something.

“And I though he looked like a nice guy. He’s not breaking up with you is he?” Ryeowook suddenly burst out, making Hyukjae rise from his sloped position to stare at his co-worker.

“What?! Why do you think he’s doing that?” Near to tears, Hyukjae looked at the younger male with a quivering bottom lip.

What if that was the reason?

“I’m sorry, Hyukjae.” Ryeowook said softly, feeling bad to have said such a thing. “I didn’t think he is, it just slipped my mind.” The younger gave Hyukjae a fast hug as an apology.

“If he’s been avoiding you, he might just want to stay away from the celebration so he wouldn’t feel bad for dumping you afterwards.”

Heechul who was standing on the other side inspecting his manicured nails smirked, until a book was thrown out of Ryeowook’s hand and hit the elder’s head.

“You’re not helping!”

*

Turning his phone back on as he sat on the bus back home, he was hoping that there would be any other message from Donghae he had received but there wasn’t a single one. Maybe, Donghae really did want to skip any celebrations to not feel bad if he wanted to end their relationship any time soon.

Hyukjae gave up.

He stuck the key into the hole of their shared apartment and pulled his shoes off in the middle of the hall room (because he knew Donghae hated when people did that) and let them be, along with his jacket.

The clock was after seven; still no Donghae was visible and in was starting to darkle outside. He walked into the kitchen, noticing a light blue post-it sticking to the fridge which hadn’t been there this morning. Moving closer, he took the piece of paper, immediately recognizing the sloppy handwriting of his boyfriend.

‘Hi baby. I guess you’re hungry by now, so I prepared-‘ Hyukjae stopped reading and instead wrinkled the paper in his hand and threw it in the trash bin.

“You had the time to go home and make something, but not just giving me a quick call or visit to apologise or make up any plans with me today, no, no.” Hyukjae cursed once again. He felt almost more sad that Donghae even talked with him through post-it stickers instead of talking with him directly. All he wanted was just to spend a small amount of quality time together with the other, but obviously Donghae wanted to stay at work for longer. He works as a lifesaver on a beach, why would he need to stay until this late? With a lowered head, he left the kitchen and went directly to the bedroom and crashed on the bed, only to get a second light blue post-it scratching his chin.

‘Dress warmly, it could get cold.’ Hyukjae read from the post-it, frowning.

“It’s summer Donghae, it’s freaking 20 degrees in the evenings, how do you expect me to get cold?” He spoke to the paper before tossing it away to the floor.

Instead, he got up and walked to his closet to change into pyjamas before crawling into bed, but just as annoying as the other ones, he saw a third piece of light blue paper stuck to the inside of the wardrobe.

’Meet me at my work.

I love you.’

His heart beat increased rapidly as he read the sweet three last words. A smile decorated his lips instead of the pout which had been there all day. Still, he felt a little bit sour towards the other. Bringing the paper in his hand back to bed, Hyukjae lay down and pressed his face into Donghae’s pillow.

If Donghae asked them to meet he couldn’t keep on ignoring him. This was what he had wanted all day, to finally see Donghae.

Letting his smile stay, he looked over the words “I love you” once more; he knew that he never should listen to Heechul anymore because Donghae wouldn’t say those magical words if he wanted to break up.

*

The sun was still a bit warming in contrast to the air which was providing chilly breezes. Hyukjae regretted not obeying Donghae’s second note to get dressed any warmer, because t-shirt and a leather jacket didn’t warm up very much. But he had gone too far to turn back now, knowing it was just a few hundred meters left to his destination.

He slowly walked down the road, because if he hurried Donghae wouldn’t know he was still a little bit angry for being ignored so much lately – especially today – and was after a long walk able to see the beginning of the path downwards to the beach.

Finally as he had reached his destination, Hyukjae sneaked off his shoes, placing them on the porch of the familiar wooden house where the workers – lifesavers, beach watchers and cleaners – had their little gathering place, and dug his feet into the chilly sand, smiling a bit to himself.

He pulled out his phone and texted Donghae that he had arrived, since he couldn’t spot the latter anywhere and the house was empty. The breeze and sound of the sea made Hyukjae smile, envying Donghae for working down at such a relaxing place while he was stuck in a boring library, though he ki