Because all my songs begin with you

The idea occurs to him while reading an article on INFINITE. Even after 5 years of their debut, news articles sometimes get things wrong; the most insulting is when they spell their names wrong. The article he’s currently reading boldly proclaims, ‘INFINITE, the 6 membered group, are expected to comeback soon…’

Sungyeol’s sneaky mind starts to race. And the target of the prank is of course Sunggyu; the members all agree. It’s their comeback soon and Sunggyu is being a real pain in the behind, his nagging reaching the highest degree of unholiness. Their strict leader is not appeased until every bit of their sweat and blood is rolling on the practice room floor. It’s honestly the worst thing in the world, and all the members unanimously agreed that Sunggyu should taste the salt this time.

As with all of Sungyeol’s plans, it’s elaborate. This time though, he’s taking it a step farther by involving managers and stylists, even the CEO – in short, anyone Sunggyu can get hang of. He actually wanted to include the INSPIRITS as well but it’s probably a bit too imaginative. Besides, Myungsoo suggested that a workaround for the biggest problem they’ll probably face. So all is good.

While Sunggyu sleeps late on Sunday morning, the members put the plan into action. Sungyeol has received the printed posters he’s ordered and put them up with gusto. The other members work enthusiastically, forgetting their creaky backs from late night practice. Watching them all do his bidding so willingly fills Sungyeol with satisfaction. Clasping his hands behind his back, he watches, his lips stretching into a wide smile. Yes, that’s why he is the mastermind. Come to think of it, he should have been on The Genius, not Sunggyu. Their leader is about get a fitting lesson.

---

Sunggyu likes breakfast in bed but no one ever does that for him. Maybe if he could make some of the fans into his maids, he would be served breakfast the moment he wakes up. He’s not arrogant, it’s just he knows for a fact that some of the Inspirits want to be his maid. For free.

He likes to think he has 6 maids though – his ever annoying, disobedient maids, a.k.a, s. Too bad they don’t feel the same way.

At the kitchen, he finds that all the members have sat down for breakfast, all of them, including the ones from the other floor. Rubbing his eyes, he sits down among them. Someone passes him a bowl of cereal and he spoons a mouthful in, chewing slowly while listening to the din the members are causing. Every time they are eating together, there is a huge ruckus. So much for enjoying his breakfast peacefully. He only half listens to Dongwoo babbling and Sungyeol laughing like a psycho.

“Hyung, we’re all going out later. Just the 6 of us, no manager hyungs,” Sungyeol informs him midway through his meal.

He dimly nods in acknowledgement, but then stops chewing.

“Six? Who isn’t going?” he queries.

Sungyeol gives him a confused look.

“What do you mean? All 6 of us are going.” He waves at the members seated in a circle beside him.

Blinking, he tries to spot who’s missing.

“So Woohyun isn’t going?” he asks, noticing the missing member.

His tallest member gives him a blank look.

“Who’s Woohyun?”

“Woohyun, our member, you idiot,” he chides, resuming eating again. Maybe Woohyun isn’t feeling up for it. Maybe he’s tired. Oh wait, he had a football practice yesterday, did he pull a muscle or something. He worries a bit, and decides to visit him later.

“Ah hyung, we don’t have a member called Woohyun,” Hoya says quietly, almost too quietly.

Annoyance sparks inside of him. Why are the members playing dumb? Or is this a new joke?

He huffs as he looks at all the members, their eyes set at his direction. They’re all staring at him like he’s playing the prank.

“Yeah, sure. Tell Namu to come down alright.”

“Hyung, who are you talking about? Who’s Namu? Who’s Woohyun?”

Sunggyu wants to say ‘Et tu, Myungsoo?’ to the visual, but stops because each member sports an identical expression, that of utter confusion and disbelief, probably like the one he is wearing right now.

“You’re joking right? Our main vocal? Do you all have amnesia now?” he barks, wondering why he has to deal with these insufferable members. What has he ever done wrong?

“Hyung, did you eat something weird? There are some drugs that can make you hallucinate…” Dongwoo pushes the dagger in farther and he has half a mind to box all of their ears. Seriously, there’s a limit to how far they can take a joke.

“Hyung, you’re our main vocal,” Myungsoo adds emphatically, concern apparent in the creases between his eyebrows.

“Oh yeah, and who’s in charge of the high notes?” he challenges, dropping his spoon.

The members look at each other like they are deciding if he’s crazy or not. Any time now, they’ll probably break into laughter and shout, “April Fool” or something. But the laughter doesn’t come.

Whipping his phone out of his pocket, he calls Woohyun.

The phone doesn’t connect.

---

He almost sprints to the dorm on the other floor while s shadow him cautiously, like they think he’s going to break into a rampage anytime. Punching in the code, he rushes into the flat and without wasting a moment, dashes towards Woohyun’s room. Seonho manager looks up at him from a bed, Woohyun’s bed. But even as he looks around, he knows something is missing. More specifically, some things are missing. Woohyun’s things. No sign of the main vocal remains in the room, only Seonho’s belongings.

“Where’s Woohyun?” he asks breathlessly, but it sounds like he’s pleading. Where is he, I need him now.

Seonho gives him a peculiar look.

“Who’s Woohyung?”

He dashes out of the room again, walking into Sungyeol, who was probably listening on the other side of the door. He holds his arms and looks at him with concern.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

The poster on the wall behind Sungyeol catches his eyes and he can’t believe what he’s seeing – it’s the Season 2 poster with just the 6 of them. Just the 6 of them. No Woohyun.

He approaches the poster – INFINITE it claims in large, bold letters. Gritting his teeth, he rips the poster from the wall and throws it on the floor. Six is not INFINITE, seven is. There is no INFINITE without Nam Woohyun.

---

They are all gathered in Sunggyu’s room, even though he’s told them to leave him alone. The past couple of hours have been stormy. Sunggyu has searched the internet and to his delight, he found Woohyun everywhere. Victoriously, he shoved his phone under their noses, only to meet with their confused expressions.

“What are you talking about hyung, it’s just the 6 of us. Look at this, Kim Sunggyu, Jang Dongwoo, Lee Howon, Lee Sungyeol, Kim Myungsoo, and Lee Sungjong.”

Every picture he shows them, he can clearly see Woohyun but they can’t. Have they all been brainwashed at the same time? They can’t see Woohyun dancing in their performances, singing. Mad at them, he had quizzed them separately, but they all stuck to their story.

But really, is this their fabrication, or am I the one imagining?

No, that is impossible. Woohyun’s existence is not up for debate. He is just as real as Sunggyu is and he doesn’t care what the other members say. He will gladly sign the form for them to be taken away and locked up in mental facilities. If they don’t know Nam Woohyun, they belong in a mental asylum.

“Is he your imaginary friend?” Sungyeol dares to suggest and at that moment, he could have crushed his big head with his bare hands.

“Do you think I’m lying?” he finally asks, no, pleads.

The members exchange glances and as Sungjong opens his mouth to say something, Sungyeol cuts across him.

“No hyung, but there is no Nam Woohyun.”

---

As a leader, he shouldn’t have favourites. He likes to think he’s neutral, that he treats everyone fairly, but maybe he treats Woohyun a bit more fairly than the others, just a bit more. They can’t complain though, Woohyun is his right hand man. And even though he’s sometimes his left foot and sometimes his right foot, he’s mostly closer than that, closer to his heart.

“There is no Nam Woohyun.” Sungyeol’s voice rings in his ear like the cries of a banshee.

Why do the members look so sure when they deny the existence of Nam Woohyun? Why are they so cruel? Can’t they see what they are doing to him?

He has to exist, he has to exist for me to exist, he repeats to himself but even as he tries to find any rhyme or reason as to what’s happening, his heart starts racing. It’s ominous, the hammering of his heart against his ribcage. Nam. Woohyun. That’s how his heart beats. That’s the rhythm it follows because it knows no other. There has to be a Nam Woohyun for his heart to keep beating.

“Hyung, whoever this Woohyun is, is a figment of your imagination,” Myungsoo announces.

He feels a searing pain in his chest, like his heart is being ripped into pieces and the pieces are clogging his throat, while he’s trying to hold on to the rhythm of life – Nam Woohyun. He notices that he is hyperventilating, but only dimly. The world seems unreal to him, the world without their main vocal. His main vocal. He’s about to pass out, he registers mutedly; maybe he will wake up to the smiling face of Nam Woohyun. Maybe he will wake up and the nightmare will be over.

“Oh no, he’s shaking like crazy, is he alright?” he hears Sungjong’s high voice, laced with concern.

“Shoot, no, is he going to faint?”

“Call 119, quick! His pulse is bounding!”

“Hyung, hyung!” someone shouts but by now, he has no idea who’s talking and who’s not.

There’s a lot of shouting but the only thing that registers in his mind is the name of Woohyun. If he says his name enough times, will Woohyun appear?

Woohyun, Woohyun, Woohyunnie…

As the jumbled faces of s peering at him vanish from his sight, he smiles a little, because he knows one thing for sure, Woohyun is real. He has to be, because if he isn’t real, nothing is.

---

He wakes up to the smiling face of Nam Woohyun. It’s more than he’s hoped for. He knows he’s in a hospital because he feels terrible. And also because the walls are all white and he is not lying on his own bed. The other members are standing against the wall, looking like a line-up of criminals.

“You gave us a scare there,” Woohyun says, no he sings, at least that’s what it sounds like to Sunggyu. His voice sounds like bells at the gate of heaven, but of course he’s not going to say anything like that and embarrass himself. Nope, that’s Woohyun. Woohyun’s the one who says ridiculous things and embarrasses himself.

“I thought I lost you, never ever do that to me again!” Sunggyu blurts out before his senses can apply the brake.

Before he can scold himself enough for the slip, Woohyun wraps his arms around him, well not all the way around him since it’s not possible, but it is sort of a hug and Sunggyu melts into it happily.

“I’m sorry hyung, and so are the others. We shouldn’t have…”

“More like we didn’t know you’d hyperventilate to your death at the thought of losing Woohyun. We thought you’ll be happy to know you’re the main vocal now,” Sungyeol blabbers from where he’s standing, a safe distance away from Sunggyu’s bed.

Woohyun turns around to glare at the member. Everyone sinks in a bow in unison.

“We’re sorry and we’ll never do anything like this again,” they chorus apologetically.

“Just wait till we get to the dorm-”

“Hyung, I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Damn Woohyun and his honey voice because how can he say anything when Woohyun looks so damn adorable and he’s being so sweet too...

“Fine,” he grumbles. Everyone looks relieved, but wait till they get to the dorm…

There is nothing new about the way Woohyun shepherds the other members out of the room when he’s feeling annoyed. But he still watches him with interest, interest and mostly happiness, because Woohyun is the best right hand man ever.

So maybe he’s feeling a bit too emotional right now and strange thoughts keep cropping into his mind, but overall, he’s glad Woohyun is here, by his side.

Woohyun returns to the room alone and sits down on the bed. Sunggyu’s thinking their hands are too close and Woohyun just scoops up his hand in his, like it’s the simplest thing he’s ever done.

“So what happened?” he asks. He roughly recalls his heart racing and his vision going dark but why did he end up in the hospital?

“Panic attack,” Woohyun informs him. “Didn’t know you get that.”

“Me neither,” he admits. And maybe, he would have never gotten it if a certain Nam Woohyun hadn’t suddenly gone missing.

---

“I am actually surprised hyung. Because I thought I was nothing to you.” Woohyun chuckles, but Sunggyu can see that he’s enjoying every moment of it. The sly smirk that he’s sporting tells him that he knows, he’s known even before him. The way he looks at him, it’s pretty obvious Nam Woohyun knows that he has Kim Sunggyu wrapped around his finger.

Sighing, he figures he should say the truth instead of denying. Woohyun’s probably been waiting to hear it from his mouth for a long time. It’s not gentlemanly to keep him waiting.

“You are something, Woohyun. You are something,” he says slowly, deliberately.

The smile the younger gives him is worth a lot of things he can’t count in his head. It’s a shy, cheesy sort of smile. He doesn’t admit it but he’ll probably give up his month’s earning to see Nam Woohyun do aegyo for him, call him, “Gyu hyung” and smile at him. It’s safer if he doesn’t know.

“So I am something, huh?” Woohyun throws at him with a tight-lipped smile. Before Sunggyu can reply, the nurse stomps in, brandishing a clipboard and pointing at the clock, and almost shoves Woohyun out of the room. Apparently, visiting hour is over.

Sunggyu watches forlornly as the door closes and he’s alone again. He wonders when he will come back again. Or when he will be released.

“You are something Nam Woohyun. You’re the something within me, without which, I become nothing.”