B.A.P’s manager was looking less than impressed with the two eldest members of the TS rookie group sitting as far away from one another on the couch in front of him. Neither would look the other in the eye, and their hostility was more than obvious to him. Taking off his hat so that he could run a hand through his hair with a seethed, exasperated expression, he sighed heavily. Looking up from the desk he was leaning on in the small office he’d ‘borrowed’ for the occasion, he glanced at his watch. It was precisely four hours until they were due at Music Core and the two of them were now refusing to cooperate. He was feeling relatively uninspired as to how he was going to tackle the current situation, tired eyes switching from one to the other before he finally spoke.

“Please,” He managed to breathe one, solitary and desperate word before the time bomb between Yongguk and Himchan finally exploded.

“If you think I’m going anywhere near him, you’re wrong!” Himchan was the first to snap, ensuring he got his opinion in their first, as his arms folded tightly across his chest in determination. His eyes were swimming with annoyance and what looked like hurt, but it was clouded by the anger he was exuding, back turned towards his ‘leader.’ Yongguk scoffed, eyes wide and a look of sheer disbelief on his face as he stammered, struggling over his words after Himchan’s outburst.

“Excuse me!” He sneered, “you say that like I want anything to do with you! You’re pathetic.” He rolled his eyes, crossing his leg over the other with pride and nonchalance. Himchan’s head spun around although he remained as far away from Yongguk as he could when his dark eyes shot daggers towards the older.

“I’m pathetic? You’re the one who’s afraid of his own-“ Himchan’s sentence was roughly cut off by the blonde’s forceful hand pressing firmly over the younger’s mouth, pushing him further down, growling under his breath, upper lip pulled back in a snarl, his gums all the more on show.

“You may be willing to yourself out, throwing yourself at other men and begging for them to defile you, but I’m nothing like you.” Yongguk’s face was so reddened in fury that the third, impartial party in the room thought he’d actually have to intervene before the older boy resorted to genuine, physical violence. It wasn’t, however, necessary. The fully aggravated blonde stood up, no longer towering over the younger member who was still frozen in his previous, surrendered position, and straightened his collar on his way to the door. A hand over the door handle, he paused and glanced over to his manager. “If you expect me to gay it up with him, you can do this without me.” He spat, leaving quickly, leaving the door carelessly ajar.

Neither Himchan nor his manager said a thing for what seemed like hours until a small voice sounded from the couch where the remaining B.A.P member was trying to smooth out his shirt with trembling hands and a shaken expression.

“Please don’t make me do the performance ending with Yongguk-ssi.” He asked in the smallest of voices. His eyes were swimming with tears as he wrung out his hands in his lap, legs not staying still. The older man leaning on the desk felt riled to a point he wanted to walk out the door and drive to wherever. Fortunately for him, he wasn't needed to make that decision as the sound of a throat being cleared in the doorway caught both his attention and that of Himchan. Jongup was looking sheepish, holding a hat in his hand as he scuffed his feet awkwardly against the floor, cheeks a little pink having heard the conversation from outside and witnessed the leader leaving so abruptly.

“I’ll do the ending with Yongguk-ssi.” He mumbled, sending Himchan what he hoped was a reassuring glance but only succeeding in forcing the other’s gaze away from his. Himchan left the room swiftly, blotting his teary eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.

If asked who, amongst the group, he was the closest to, Himchan would always answer with Yongguk. And, in turn, Yongguk would answer with Himchan. The two eldest members shared a lot with one another and were happily fitting into their roles of Mother and Father of B.A.P. Himchan would like to think he was manly enough to fulfil the position of Dad, but even he knew that he was their loving and doting Mommy. It was a personal joke amongst the six group members, for their very own parent couple were to appear linking hands, foreheads touching as their finale during the CRASH promotions.

It was no secret in their dorm that Himchan leaned more towards the male gender when it came to ual preferences which had never bothered any of the other members. It was also never questioned that Yongguk’s taste was restricted to women, because he was just one of those manly men who had an impressive collection on his laptop and appreciated the female body. Being together with 5 other guys, however, made it impossible not to tolerate all the testosterone in his company, and he was okay with that. Skinship was not restricted to fanservice, and affection was a part of their daily life.

It wasn’t abnormal for Yongguk’s hand to slip from Himchan’s shoulder to the small of his back whilst he spoke to the other who was busily chopping vegetables at the kitchen sink. Nor was it unusual if Himchan were to stop whatever he was doing to fix the older man’s hair or wipe something from his cheek, straightening his clothes with some sort of adoration in his eyes. Nobody found it strange that the two would always sit together whenever the group watched TV in their small dorm with restricted couch space. Himchan often sat comfortably on the leader’s lap whilst Yongguk’s hand loosely rested around the other’s waist. It wasn’t out of the ordinary if the two were found with fingers interlinked whilst taking a break from their dance practices. It was just the way they as a pair functioned, and nobody had a problem with that.

The group were in full swing of their crash promotions across the various music programmes, their amusing and playful choreography having caused a stir in the discussion threads amongst numerous websites. The members were taking five after rehearsing their recent aegyo-filled dance routine when the younger members had taken it upon themselves to research what netizens and fans alike were saying about their new performances. Whilst Junhong and Youngjae argued over the control of the laptop, Himchan felt his cheeks turn a little pink as he felt Yongguk’s hand lightly brush over his on the laminate floor.

“Yongguk hyung, you’re the talk of everybody.” Zelo mused, scrolling past endless comments regarding the tough and macho leader partaking in such cute and funny dance moves. The leader brushed it off and shrugged. He still hadn’t grown to like their new routine but if the fans liked it, there was little he had to say about the matter. Zelo’s faint smile turned into a frown as he scrolled down another thread of comments, only catching the leader’s attention.

“What is it Junhong-ah, I can take criticism too, you know.” He rolled his eyes, leaning against the mirrored wall, waiting to hear what the fans had been saying.

“Every performance, Yongguk Oppa looks like he wants to be anywhere but on stage.” Zelo looked over at Yongguk with a worried expression. Youngjae elbowed the younger out of his way and scooted over to look at the screen.

“He’s so unenthusiastic. Yongguk Oppa we know you hate aegyo but you don’t need to look like you hate your members!” Youngjae read with his eyebrows raised a little. They all knew their leader had struggled with the choreography being so cutesy but there was never any doubt in his affection for s. “Yongguk’s face at the end makes me wonder if parent couple are divorcing!” Youngjae gingerly shut the laptop screen, deciding their break had consequently come to a fragile end. “Maybe we should practice some more.” He mumbled.

“Even the babies recognize us a parent couple.” Himchan laughed, getting up and holding out a hand to help Yongguk up off of the floor. Ignoring the outstretched hand, the leader hauled himself up and adjusted his belt. “Maybe they just want you to smile more.” Himchan suggested, poking Yongguk’s cheek lightly and laughing, moving over to his spot before they could start the routine. Yongguk, however, was unable to shake the frown from his face and had simply shrugged Himchan’s finger away and moved into position.

Himchan, who truly thought would be helping the situation by making it more a joke, was prepared to play up to the parent couple title and hadn’t expected the outcome that followed from his own alteration to the ending with Yongguk. The former, whose face was that of thunder throughout the entire performance, barely bothered linking his hands for the final pose which then made it easier for him to push Himchan as far away as possible from him. He rapidly and desperately rubbed at the side of his face where Himchan’s lips had pressed whilst he started angrily at the other who was frozen in a stunned position some feet away.

“What the hell are you playing at?” Yongguk barked. Himchan’s expression was pure astonishment, eyes blinking as he remained still, mouth opening and closing, but no words managing to escape. He was truly in the dark as to why Yongguk was acting like this and struggling to understand what he’d done wrong. “Seriously, keep your lips away from me.” He spat quickly. He turned around to run his hands through his hair, nobody seeing the instant regret that swam through is eyes the moment he said what he did. Himchan felt his heart hurtle towards the ground at a thousand miles per hour, shattering at his feet, leaving nothing but a searing pain in his chest where the heart was supposed to be.

“Yongguk-“ He mumbled, mind and thoughts turning numb as he tried to convince himself that Yongguk didn’t just use that word.

“Hyung, maybe you should take a break.” Jongup tried to intervene but Yongguk turned around the glare daggers at Himchan.

“Anything to keep him away from me.” He turned, speaking as if Himchan weren’t in the room. “I’m sick of his homoual advances anyway. I put up with it for the good of the group, you know? But this parent couple garbage has gone too far.” He reached down to pick up a bottle of water which was soon knocked out his hand. Himchan’s teary eyes were full of anger as he stood in front of Yongguk, lip quivering as he tried to compose himself.

“How could you say something like that?” He asked him, words dripping in hurt as he earnestly awaited answer that never came. “You know it’s a joke. You’ve never had a problem with my uality before, so why now?” He asked, still holding the tears back.

“No,” Yongguk looked Himchan in the eye, speaking calmly as if he truly didn’t care. “I just chose not to say something to keep you happy.” He shrugged. “I wish I had said something a long time ago,” He sighed, “I’m sick of you nagging me like you’re my wife!” He raised his voice, wincing in shock as the Himchan’s hand struck him across the cheek. He bit his lip, straightening up and taking a deep breath. “Just know that I have standards for a wife.” He stated lowly, not flinching when Himchan made a quick exit.

The entire Music Core experience had been an awkward one for all of the B.A.P members who were aware of the uncomfortable situation in their group. The performance went ahead with Jongup filling in Himchan’s place during the final part of the choreography, and Yongguk wasn’t one to stick around after the show was over. He’d changed quickly at the dorm before heading out again, telling the younger members not to wait up for him.

Himchan, who had been in the bathroom, emerged with shamefully red eyes and a poor attempt at hiding it with makeup. Jongup, who was waiting for him in the living room shot up from his seat once the former ulzzang entered the room.

“Yongguk hyung went out.” He told the older who really didn’t look like he wanted to hear that name. “I think he’s gone out drinking.” Jongup mumbled. Whenever something had bothered their leader in the past, Himchan had been the one to bring drunken Yongguk back to their dorm and dote on him, always doing his best to hide it from the company.

“That’s too bad.” Himchan croaked, wandering over to the kitchen area. Jongup, who was looking slightly troubled, tailed after him and latched onto Himchan’s arm.

“We have to do something!” He whined.

“I’ll only make it worse.” Himchan retorted, staring into the fridge aimlessly. Jongup groaned.

“But I can’t go out alone, at least come with me.” He begged.

Himchan pointedly refused the younger boy’s request but found himself with a hood over his head, following the younger dancer down the darkened streets of their neighbourhood regardless, just twenty minutes later. He knew that hoping Yongguk didn’t  know about his one sided love was too much to ask, but at least he’d had the decency to pretend like it was okay for all this time.  Himchan didn’t want to believe that it had bothered the older man this much to have been the object of a homoual man’s affections, but he accepted it was his fault to have crossed the line, at least. Jongup stopped to turn back and check Himchan was still with him, waiting for him to catch up.

“Hyung,” He asked after a while as they both walked side by side towards the place they knew they’d find the leader. Himchan looked at Jongup, wordlessly motioning for him to ask what was bothering him. “You know it’s not your fault, right?” Himchan scoffed at the statement and sighed.

“It’s sweet of you to say so, Jongup-ah, but it kind of is.” He stopped in his tracks as his eyes fell on the window of the bar he’d dragged Yongguk out of many times in the past. He could see the man in question from his position on the street, hunched over a line of empty shot glasses, empty bottles on the bar’s countertop. “There, go inside. I’ll just…” He trailed off, not knowing what he would do.

“I’ll go inside and convince him to come outside,” Jongup told the older, “if he asks if you’re here, I’ll just say no, okay, hyung?” He asked. “Then you can surprise him from outside here and help him home like you always do.” He smiled lightly. Himchan sighed and nodded.

“Okay, just go inside. It’s cold out here.” He lied, wishing he was anywhere but here.

“And Hyung,” Jongup looked at Himchan again, “It’s not your fault. You can’t help who you like, right? It’s just the way you are.” He assured him.

“Maybe.” Himchan humoured him for the sake of making the younger happy. “But the way I am is just a little… damaged. That might be why.” He tried to explain, pushing the younger forward. “Let’s just get this over with.” He watched the younger boy venture into the bar, hoping for his sake that he didn’t get thrown out before he reached Yongguk. Himchan moved closer to the window to get a better look and observed Jongup prodding the older boy over and over in the arm, pulling him up from the bar counter where his head was laying. Yongguk visibly said something to Jongup which Himchan guessed to be ‘is Himchan with you?’ Jongup shook his head over and over which confirmed Himchan’s suspicions on what the question had been.

The next few seconds happened in slow motion for the darker haired male in the hooded sweater outside of the bar. He’d holding his arms around his chest in the cold air, eyes glued on the two band mates at the end of the bar when the heart that had previously already been stamped on was now being twisted and ripped into pieces before being thrown into the oncoming traffic. Yongguk had placed his hands either side of the dancer in front of him before forcing his plump lips over his.

Himchan didn’t know where him and his aching chest were going, but his footing was uneven as he stumbled recklessly down the street, trying to keep his composure. He knew he was definitely heading the wrong way, though, and soon found himself in what was most likely the ‘wrong’ part of town. It didn’t stop him, though, the only thing that did was the dead end in the stark, dingy street he’d turned down. Leaning against the crumbling and discoloured wall he stared straight ahead but saw nothing but the slow motion version of Yongguk’s lips on Jongup’s, over and over again as the hole in his chest throbbed.

“Hey, pretty,” He felt a hand ghost over his shoulder and slither down his back. “you look too nice for this part of town, you here alone?” He glanced over to his side, a relatively dishevelled looking man was looking right at him. He had longish hair that appeared to be uncombed whilst his face displayed the appearance at least a week’s worth of stubble. He wasn’t unattractive, but he wasn’t Yongguk. “You know,” He purred in Himchan’s ear, hand slipping down his front and hooking itself in the belt loop of Himchan’s jeans. “There’s a place nearby we can go.” He suggested, tugging a little on Himchan’s jeans encouragingly. Himchan felt the phone in his pocket begin to vibrate. Looking at the caller ID reading Jongup he quickly turned off the device and felt his morals and hopes slip away as he took the stranger’s hand.

This wasn't proof read so~
sad channie makes me sad. 
anyway~ youshouldallreadthis
okgood.

look how precious they are together

even though himup is the best otp idek banghim are just sweet.