It’s seven o’clock in the morning , all members are training in the practice room , but there was a mess , someone wasn’t there …. , Donghae wasn’t there .

Hyukjae asked for permission to go out the practice room and reached Donghae’s room .

“ Hae .. are you still sleeping ? “ asked Hyukjae approaching the sleeping’s boy’s bed and checking him lightly and was shocked with the latter’s state , he was burning and sweating in all over his body , his face paler than a ghost and his was slightly freezing .

Hyukjae get lost , it was the first time seeing him like that , what’s wrong with him ? why he doesn’t answer me ? why he is like that ? he thought fear eating him alive .

He decided to still with him and take care of him , and even if the others members were as worried as him they couldn’t have a day off due to the rude preparation they must have to be ready for them future supershow.

“ Hae .. Hae!! Please wake up .. “ hyukjae’s shaky voice begged , his condition is getting worsen , he ran and came back with small towel that he pour it with cold water and lean it in his sick fishy’s forehead ; he remained doing the same operation in almost an hour till his temperature decreased slowly yet he was still shaking so hyukjae decided to make him warm by his own warm and sweet body as he slipped under the blanket and hugged him .

Later on , Donghae started to wake up and was surprised to see his monkey holding his waist carefully while he was resting his head on his protective chest . He lifted his head slowly facing the sleeping angel beside him and leaned toward him pecking his soft lips , thus that little gesture was enough to wake the elder up and be welcomed by a bright yet confuse face .

“ Oh Goodness you’re finally awake , please don’t do that to me again you freaked me out earlier! “ Hyukjae said almost crying and tightening his hold on the other’s waist .

“ I’m sorry hyukkie … I’ll not do it again .. “ Donghae managed to answer his dancing boy even tough he don’t get the whole situation .

“ You better go see a doctor , don’t worry to you’re sceldule I’ll take care of it “

Thus Donghae could just nod in agreement .

The next day, Donghae get himself ready and went to his brother’s private hospital , after the checkups and analyses , Donghae put on his clothes and waited for the results while pressing a little bandage in his arm , where the syringe a little of his blood earlier .

After a some hour , the doctor comes back to him with a blank expression on his face .

“ I-is everything allright ? “ Donghae asked getting no answer from the doctor , who just bite his lips and looked down .

“ Is there a problem?!”  

~*~*~

It was impossible , no it’s no way it can happen to him .. especially , he read and reread his health fiche thousands of time , hoping , wishing … begging that there is a mistake yet every words of it guided to the same conclusion , after he got the fiche from the doctor shock , surprise , sorrows and news feelings he didn’t know it’s name filled him , as he tightened his grip on the folders he ran out from the hospital building , tears flowing from his red eyes , still not believing what they just read .

He didn’t want to back to the dorms , he didn’t want to see anyone , hear anything or speak out something , all he wanted was some isolating time , he wanted to be alone and think about his destiny .

It was 3 past midnight , he get into the dorm quietly to not wake up the others and directed straight to his room , switched the line on and almost jumping from surprise and fear seeing that somebody was there .. waiting for him. As he turned to close the door Hyukjae hugged him from back burying his chin in the other’s back neck whispering right behind his ear “ I missed you “ .

Donghae didn’t react , and Hyukjae felt something different , the former was cold and immobile as if he held a … death body , yet he didn’t comment .

 As they sat both on the bed after hae changing into his pajama , Hyuk began

“ So you went to the doctor ? “

“ Y-yes.. “

“ so.. ? what did he say ? are you … sick ? “ hyukjae asked with a worried voice

“ N-no .. no I’-I’m not.. it’s just a general tiredness , and that I must rest .. “ Donghae answered quickly looking at everywhere but Hyukjae.

“ Ah fishy please don’t force yourself too mush , I talked with the manager and he accepted to give you 5 days off “ hyukjae believing each words declared smiling to him.

“ Arasso..”

The next day was a so tiring and exhausting day for Hyukjae , as he finally could rest in the evening he went straight to his room taking a shower , after finishing he got out from the bathroom to be welcomed by a topless Donghae sitting on the bed , his back facing him , who could resist ? Especially that Hyukjae hadn’t be so close to him those days and that he missed him so damn mush , he missed his smooth skin and magic touches , his soft lips and how they taste in them passionate kisses , he missed Donghae .

Thus he walked closer to him , sitting beside him and cupping his face , leaning closer so that his soft lips finally found them other part , Donghae who seem just waking up from his deep toughts pushed with all his strange hyukjae away and ran rubbing hardly his lips _ hyukjae’s lips _ like if cleaning them from something so dirty .

“ W-what’s wrong with you ? “ Hyukjae who was sitting on the floor asked confusedly .

“ D-Don’t you ever touch me again!! “ Donghae yelled at him

“ W-what? are you aware what you’re saying ? you’re my life ! “

“ Then you’re life will turn into death “

Hyukjae just stare at his lover trying to get his his incomprehesible words

“ If you do approach me some other time , you’ll never see me again .” Hae finished wearing a stern face .

“ Dong..hae…” hyukjae managed to call but was left dumbfounded with all his confusion , Donghae reached the door begging his tears to not get out of them places .

Hyukjae was lost , he repeated the scene again and again trying to find a mistake he did , trying to understand Donghae , trying to find excuses for him … but nothing , he couldn’t put the finger on the reason .

While he was in deep toughs , his eyes spot some unfamiliar papers under some books on the desk that attract his curiosity , he instantly checked them and while browsing them his eyes widened at what they read.

He froze and his hands as his whole body started to shake , it was Donghae’s health analysis’s result, No way it was impossible … Donghae had …. Aids.

He reads the lines many times , eyed the name and betraying his looks to tell it was another name , yet it was clear as the water “ Lee.Donghae “ .

Why it had to be him ? The dearest person to him , the more lovable , his lover .

Before he knew it rivers of tears ran over his cheek , he wished he was in his place because he just couldn’t leave without him , his death was better to his life without the other .

Hyukjae decided to keep it secret for himself , to not hurt the other .

~*~*~

Donghae’s holidays were off , and he rejoined the members , they were cleaning the house because new furniture will be buying to replace the old ones and decorate the place , everyone was busy , and the later wanted to help as he lifted a wood desk but he didn’t moved it since Hyukjae ran quickly toward him and took off the heavy thing from him “ you should just sit you still weak “ he smiled to him and as he turned tears graved his smoothy face .

Hyukjae started to take care of Donghae so mush that what he did before , he was too over caring , he insisted that he’ll be in charge to cook his meal himself , and used to help him in shower , and also to be awake all the night .

Donghae didn’t notice anything , and even if he protested at first he just let him be but making sure he will not eat with him or shower with him or share with him something , and to his big surprise Hyukjae didn’t .

It was the last day before the big show , Suju didn’t rest a second and spent all the night practicing , everything must have be perfect for tomorrow’s show , everything was prepared , everything was prepared , but in the very last dance when it come to Donghae’s part all were shocked to see blood running out of his nose while his thin fragile body bumped with the floor .

“ DONGHAAAAAE!!!!! “ screamed Hyukjae .

All members ran to Eunhae’s room , all having worried face to the boy laying in front of them, Donghae went and hugged the later trying to calm him , he was screaming like nobody and shaking all over his body .

“ No .. n-no…” he shouted in the younger’s chest eyes bloodshoting getting used to the tears .

“ I think he must go visit the doctor “ Leeteuk declared worryingly

“ what’s going on here ?! “ the Manager asked panting as he quicly ran to them when hearing the loud screams.

“ Eunhyuk was late to our daily practices , until we heard him scream , I think he need to rest “ said Donghae patting Hyukjae’s back lovingly .

“ Oh , I see it’s okay I’ll give him 5 days off “

“ NOOOOOOOOOOOO not 5days, NOOO it’s like the dream NOOOOOO” Hyukjae cuped the manager and started shiver in his screams .

He was crying like crazy and the members hadn’t any idea to how help him ; and after a day of convincing him to get checking by the agency’s doctor he finally agreed and the doctor said that he hadn’t anything bad and just need to rest .

At night in Eunhae’s room , Donghae was sitting on the tip of Hyukjae’s bed , and was surprised to feel a big hotness wrapping his body , Hyukjae who was lying in the bed woke up and hugged him

“ Hae … “ he whispered in his ear as the other hummed enjoying the elder’s warmness

“ I love you “

“ I do too “ the younger smiled and turned to kiss him .

That night they both slept holding each other , for now let’s forget everything hyukjae thought closing his eyes and warming the younger’s fragile body .

It was early , he woke up very quietly trying to not wake the other up , a bag on his back , he looked a very last time to that angel before going and whispered

 “ You’re the important thing in my life , and will never put your life at risk “

----------

I don’t know how it ended like that !Oo it was supposed to be a happy ending ..

( and just for not get cofuse all that was hyuk's dream:) hae hadnt that bad illness :) )

But you must understand hyukjae too …

Do you think he did the best thing with his decision?