Her name is Stephanie Hwang Miyoung. I met her for the first time in 2004. My first impression of her at that time, this girl was so cute. When she came and introduced herself, her smile amazed everyone in that dancing room. I have to admit I like her smile that time…..and now. But I was afraid to approach her. Why? It’s simple. She’s American and I was afraid she would talk English. That’s one of my biggest mistakes that I regret few years later.

Jungsoo hyung, Donghae, and Siwon could hang out with Stephanie easily. Jungsoo hyung, is playboy-type who will approach all trainee girls. Donghae is a kind boy who always considers all people younger than him as his dongsaengs. Siwon is a bit good in English so Stephanie could talk to him with her native language. I’m close to Hyoyeon, Yoona, and Sooyoung, but why it has to be hard to close to Stephanie?

I still don’t know back then why I felt a little bit envy to those boys who got along easily with Stephanie. I needed months to get along with her and it’s because of dancing.

She had problem with the dancing steps that was been taught by the trainer. I found her crying alone in dancing room when I wanted to practice my hip-hop dancing. It’s the first time I saw a female trainee cried, though I knew from Jungsoo hyung that Yoona, Sooyoung, and Sooyeon cried on the rooftop. I approached her hesitantly at first. She’s a bit shocked with my sudden presence but when I asked why she cried alone there, she said she’s frustrated because she still couldn’t master the dancing steps. I asked what the dance that she couldn’t dance well yet and she showed some of dance moves to me. I recognized those moves. The dance created by Lee Joomin seonsaengnim.  I offered myself to teach her that dance because I still remember it clearly. She nodded cutely that reminds me of puppy. We spent the night by dancing and even made I forgot that I used to be there for practicing my own hip-hop style. But I thanked that night, because it made me and Stephanie being good friends.

Stephanie already debuted with So Nyeo Shi Dae, oh I have to call her Tiffany from now on. She and SM decided to change her name into Tiffany, because her Stephanie has already taken by Stephanie sunbae from CSJH The Grace.

Her debut alongside with SO Nyeo Shi Dae was a fierce in my eyes. She decided to cut her long hair for the debut, but it looked so cute in my eyes. Her voice is so unique and she dances so well. And yes amongst So Nyeo Shi Dae, Tiffany is the member that I have my eyes a lot though I never said to anyone and to her about. I was shy to tell her that I’m proud with her debut. It’s weird because I told Hyoyeon, Yoona, and Taeyeon easily that they did great job with their debut.

Those girls especially Tiffany struggled so hard. She bashed by many netizens because of her too short skirt and some of her words on variety shows that seemed so rude and have no manner for some of Korean people. I know she cried a lot because of this. All I can do was just gave her courage that and keep fighting so everyone will know how talented she is when the fact was I really wanted to punch all the people who mocked at her.

Tiffany is pretty. She has a good voice. She’s kind. She’s cute. She’s beautiful. Everything about her is perfect. Mmm for me.

She has a lot of fanboys everywhere.  She closes to many male idols also, which made me jealous every time I saw she hangs out with them.

Donghae is my best friend, but also a man that I envy the most. I envied him so much when he was chosen as the model MV of So Nyeo Shi Dae’s Kissing You. And I was jealous to death when I saw the MV that Donghae has a lot of scenes with Tiffany. Even until now, I don’t want to watch that MV anymore.

My jealousy continues because of Siwon. Siwon ‘got’ Tiffany for Sweetie Ade CF. And since then, many fans notice that they are close and begin to pair them up as great couple. Gentle Siwon and pretty Tiffany. Even I know when it comes about Tiffany and her couple in Super Junior, the first people think must be Siwon. SiFany. WonFany. Or whatever it is. I only can my heart pretend it’s nothing, but it hurts me so bad actually. They paired up again for Thailand cosmetic, 12Plus. Since the first time I knew, Tiffany will be their new endorser, I already guessed they will pick between Siwon or Donghae as Tiffany’s partner. And I was right. People will forever think Siwon is the perfect match for Tiffany, not Hyukjae.

 Tiffany is a kind and friendly. She has a lot of friends outside SM. She closes to 2PM the most.

Taecyeon is known as his friendship with Tiffany. They interact a lot at variety shows. Tiffany also closes to Junho and Wooyoung. She even once danced with Wooyoung on the stage, the chance that I never get on TV.

But amongst all 2PM members, I envy Nichkhun the most. Khun is a kind boy. He even the 2PM who closes the most to me. Tiffany also closes to her. So many rumors that they are dating always makes my heart breaks. I don’t know it’s true or not, but once I noticed they had diner together. Tiffany also only smiled when I about her relationship with Khun (I because I want to know so badly, this rumor is just a rumor or true). Deep inside my heart, I want it’s just a rumor. I still can’t accept the fact that the girl I cherish the most in a relationship.

All those boys are kind and perfect. They will be a good couple for Tiffany. But I still can’t accept it. I have dated girls too (though it never last long, because I don’t really love them), but why I disagree if she dates other guys. I’m so selfish. I want Tiffany for myself, but I never ask her about it because I know she will never pick Hyukjae as her boyfriend.

FAME is my biggest chance. Chance to be recognized more. Chance to be the singer who can act. And chance to be closer to Tiffany.

I was so happy when I knew Tiffany was casted in Fame too. But I was shocked when I realized there will be kissing scene of her. And that kissing scene isn’t with me

I only be as Tyrone Jackson,  the partner dance of Carmen Diaz. Tyrone Jackson who only got ballet dance with Carme. Tyrone is not Schlomo who kissed Carmen. My heart really broke into pieces every time I had to watch Tiffany kissed Jungmo hyung. Another reason why I have to envy him, except his skill in music instruments. The Tiffany’s kissing scene made me regret, why I only casted as Tyrone Jackson, a genius dancer.

Despite of Tiffany’s kissing scene, I had to thank to Fame, because I got closer her more because of this musical. People started to realize our friendship. FRIENSHIP. Yess, people will forever consider me as one of Tiffany’s close friends.

I got chance to have dinner with her, practiced all day long with her, took selca with her, laughed and joking with her, it’s all because of Fame. Tiffany always thanks to me because I always teach her patiently about our ballet scene in Fame. And she’s getting attach to me easily while we’re on stage or off stage after Fame. She teases me or just calls me with her loud voice everytime we meet.

Fany Fany Tiffany will forever be my fame~

“Hyuk oppa!!”

I’m about to enter SM building when I heard her voice. I turn myself and the first thing I see is her adorable eyesmiles.

“Fany-ah!”

“Oppa!”

“Where will you go?” I asked her after I saw SNSD’s manager put some luggage on car.

“I’ll have photoshoot in America!” She said excitedly.

“Wooww. Are you going home?”

“I hope I can. I already called my family to come.”

“Tiffany, let’s go!” The SNSD manager hyung called her.

“Oppa, I have to go now. Pray for me!”

“Buy something for me from there. You always forget me these days!”

“Ah Oppa, how can I forget my best Eunhyuk oppa who will always make me laugh? Arasso, I’ll buy something for you. See you soon, Oppa! Bye!”

“Bye. Be careful and have a safe flight!”

I yelled to her. She turns herself and waves while giving me that eyesmile again.

I remember her last worlds. ‘my best Eunhyuk oppa who will always make me laugh.’ I don’t know I should happy or not. I’m happy because she considers me as his best oppa. But it means that I will only be ‘oppa’ for her.

I smile bitterly. This love for her, let me keep forever in my heart. Only myself and God who knows it. Maybe it’s the best for me and my friendship with Tiffany.