Payphone

Kyungsoo hung his head low. Those were his last set of coins, even the change he got from buying lunch was all used up.

There’s no use, why the hell do I still do this, he wouldn’t pick up.

Kyungsoo thought, just like he did every single day.

-

Kyungsoo sighed as he stared at the specific date on the calendar. It was encircled in neon orange, adorned with hearts and other party symbols. He fished out a red marker and crossed out the day.  It has been six months. Six ing months of pure agony, wasted time and pathetic lifestyle – how miserable is that? Kyungsoo knew well. He has been living, breathing and eating it. How the hell could he not know?

Kyungsoo picked up the piece of paper peeking underneath his desk. It was on the edge of ripping apart, marks of being opened and folded again and again was really visible.

KaiSoo’s Time Table!

The letters were carefully written in cursive, underlined once. A smile tugged on Kyungsoo’s slightly trembling lips yet at the same time, a tear escaped and silently rolled down on one of his cheeks. He traced the writing with his fingertips. All those aims, all those plans…

All were made for two, but now left to be done by one.

-

Kyungsoo sat on one of the benches at the local park. He took a sip of his coffee as he watched the small children run around the area playing tag. He let out a soft chuckle; he tried to remember how the old times were – back when he was as happy as those kids…back when he didn’t have to sit all alone by himself. He ended up scrunching his nose and wrinkling his brows. He never knew it would be that hard. He has always been one of those who have a very vivid and alive memory. Well that was before he got into this situation.

Bloody hell. Kyungsoo cursed.

Sometimes, his mind would cooperate well and he would curse himself for being able to remember certain details of his life in full color, in full vividness, in full 4D experience. Everything would rush in like a huge tidal wave. And once this begins, Kyungsoo can’t help but remember all his times with him. All those precious memories, all those sweet times he cherished and longed to touch once more. And it pains the out of him.

And he guessed this was his lucky day. Hello instant flashbacks!

It ing hurts because this time, he isn’t there anymore. He wouldn’t be there anymore. And every string Kyungsoo held that connects them two, were nothing but ashes against the stone cold truth.

-

“Too late, Kyungsoo. You’re just a little bit too late.” He strode out of the room with a duffle bag; the last set of his clothes contained them.

“But Jongin, please…” Kyungsoo quickly followed the lad, trying hard not to stumble down with his wobbly legs.

“…can’t we just try?” Kyungsoo’s eyes were b with tears.

But Jongin didn’t reply and just strode out of their – wait, of Kyungsoo’s flat… burning every bridge that connected them together with every heavy step on his way out.

-

Baekhyun shook his head. Never had he seen Kyungsoo so wasted in his entire existence here on earth.

“So this is what you would look like when you’re faced drunk.” Baekhyun groaned as he dragged Kyungsoo to his bed. The lad has been lying on his apartment’s stone cold floor with litters of cans of beer.

“Damn, you weren’t kidding when you said I wouldn’t want to see it.” Baekhyun muttered as he finally tucked the sleeping mess behind the sheets. Baekhyun went to the kitchen and grabbed a plastic bag.

As he was picking up the litters that scattered all over the place, he couldn’t help but grimace. Kyungsoo was never a drinker. He would only drink a can of beer whenever the group goes out to have fun. Really, just one, nothing more than that and seeing the amount of cans everywhere certainly tells Baekhyun something was hell wrong.

The next morning, Kyungsoo woke up with a head shattering migraine. He mentally cursed for waking up on the wrong side of the bed – wherein the sun rays directly hit him square in the face. Now even his eyes hurt like hell.

“Finally! Just when I thought you’d never get up!” Kyungsoo froze in his place. He was alone, he was pretty sure he was. He didn’t remember calling anyone in. The voice didn’t register to him so he slowly turned his head to check who it was.

“Well…sorry to burst your bubble. It’s just me.” Kyungsoo saw the hurt in his bestfriend’s eyes. A pang of regret hit him.

“Sorry.”

“I made you some soup. Wait, here.” Baekhyun stood up and soon returned with a bowl of creamy pumpkin soup and a glass of water.

“I know this isn’t as good as yours but hey! This is Yeol’s favorite.” Baekhyun said as he spoon fed the still hung over Kyungsoo. He ate silently and Kyungsoo prayed that Baekhyun would not ask the billion dollar question.

Kyungsoo’s prayer was answered but sadly it was a no.

“Why the hell did you decide to get faced drunk last night?”

“…”

“Do Kyungsoo, if you think I would let you get away easily then you’re wrong. Answer me.” Baekhyun’s voice was firm and Kyungsoo can tell that he really can’t shut his mouth any longer.

“Well…”

“Well?” Baekhyun placed the bowl on the night stand and stared at Kyungsoo, noticing how fidgety the younger suddenly got.

“Is this about Jongin?” Baekhyun breathe out. Kyungsoo could just look down and nod. Kyungsoo shut his eyes and prepared himself for Baekhyun’s outburst. To his surprise, the older just grabbed his arm and pulled him into a rib breaking hug.

Baekhyun knew Kyungsoo was suffering from their breakup but he never knew it was this bad. After all, Kyungsoo never opened up about it, he never showed them his pain, and he always pulled up a façade in front of anyone.

“Soo-ah, how long have you been doing this?” And that was all it took to break the wall Kyungsoo had built up. He broke down and became an instant sobbing mess.

“I-I forgot…m-months I t-think. Drinking a-about two-o months.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t help the tears that were streaming down. He kept this from everyone else for six months. He freaking faced every single day alone for six freaking months. This was the first time he ever let someone see him wail and crumble down. He wasted his nights, his days, and his weeks in so many ways that he thinks he had done every possible thing to put those times of his life to nothingness and of no good use. From crying all throughout the night to being faced wasted to pigging out with his favorite snacks to even splurging in shopping. He did everything, everything un-Kyungsoo just to escape the harsh loophole of reality. He threw most of his time to trash.

But in the end, he just ends up hurting himself more. It was like putting and rubbing salt in an open wound.

“I-it’s like I’m w-walking in an endless p-path of darkness.” Kyungsoo said in between sobs. Baekhyun could only grip tighter to Kyungsoo, too afraid for the lad might literally crumble down if he loosened his grip.

“I f-feel so paralyzed Baeky! H-he was my light. He was e-everything. N-now that he’s gone…I-I d-don’t know anymore. I-I’m stuck.” More tears were shed.

“Soo-ah~” Baekhyun soothed the back of Kyungsoo. He didn’t know what to say anymore. He wanted to tell him it’ll be okay but he knew lies and sweet nothings aren’t what his best friend needed at the moment.

So this is what they meant. Baekhyun finally understood what those people had said, those unpopular opinions they had. You can live in paradise, do all you want – be merry, and be on cloud nine! But just like any other day, the sunset comes and things come to a halt.

-

“Say what?” Kris said as he almost spat out his drink. Tao immediately handed him a napkin.

“You heard what I said duizhang.” Baekhyun said plainly.

“Since when?” Luhan butted in, impressing everyone that he was actually listening to the discussion. “What?! I do listen!”

“He said it was months ago. The way he looked, I’m guessing a month or two after the break-up.” Baekhyun sighed and took a sip of his coffee.

“Well, it’s been a week since that happened. So anyone got news on him?” Suho asked as he shifted in his seat.

Everyone was silent and shook their heads.

“Oh! Well…isn’t that Kyungsoo hyung?” Sehun pointed to a distance. All heads turned and Sehun was indeed right. It was Kyungsoo and he didn’t look like anything Baekhyun has narrated to them.

“Hey guys! What’s up?” Kyungsoo beamed and took a seat beside Suho. Everyone cringed a bit and held back a grimace. Knowing his situation, they couldn’t exactly bear how sunshine and rainbows it was for Kyungsoo.

“We know. Stop pretending.” Yixing blurted out. Everyone glared at him.

“What? I can’t bear seeing him pull up a façade. And I know you guys don’t either.” He defensively said with both hands raised up.

Kyungsoo eyed Baekhyun and earned an inaudible sorry. Kyungsoo sighed and slumped in the chair with his head hung low.

“It’s okay hyung, we’re here for you.” The maknae reached out at patted Kyungsoo’s shoulders. Kyungsoo looked up to see all his friends with warm encouraging smiles and silent comfort.

From another table they could hear a child squealing and jumping with glee.

“I’ll be her prince! And we’ll live happily ever after!” The child shouted as he took a bite of his pancake.

“Well, I don’t believe in happy ever afters anymore.” Kyungsoo blurted out all of a sudden.

“Why not?” Chen asked and immediately regretted why the hell he even asked.

“Well, if they ever do exist, I would still be with him right now, Chenchen. We’d still be together, holding onto each other.” Kyungsoo said monotonously, unsuccessfully hiding the pain as his stare bore through the cup of ice tea he was holding.

“All those fairytales are full of …” Kyungsoo gulped down on his iced tea. “…they give people the wrong mindset. They put people in a high expecting lifestyle – that someone would come and save them from their misery, and love them, and marry them and live happily for the rest of their lives.” Everyone falling into silence was starting to become a habit.

“Those fairytales made everything look so easy, so quick yet in reality everything is so complex.” Kyungsoo chuckled. “And those stories actually skipped a hell lot on the excruciating parts.” Chanyeol grimaced, he loved fairytales.

As if on cue, a fairytale love song started to play in the coffee shop as a background. It was the perfect mood setter. A nice romantic song over a nice cup of coffee, it sounds promising actually.

“Oh god. If they play another ing love song after this one, I swear I’ll get sick.”

-

Kyungsoo knew he was still stuck to where Jongin had left him. It was more like cemented on it, as little Sehun had commented. But he was determined to step forward. He wanted to move on, to be whole again even though deep down he knew that would be like turning watermelons to peaches. The group suggested a lot of things, from overnights at Suho’s to beach escapade at Tao’s exquisite choice. They booked recreational trips and literally went out of their leagues just to help mend the wide eyed boy’s heart. Really, even duizhang sacrificed his morning sleep for him and that’s saying something.

Just when he was finally getting occupied, starting to laugh genuinely, he stumbled upon someone. A certain someone he’s struggling to detach himself to.

“Kyungsoo.” The rich velvety voice he had longed to hear.

“Jongin-ssi.” He composed himself as hard as he could. He didn’t want to waste his friends’ efforts even though he just wanted to throw himself at the man before him and beg him to come back. Jongin, on the other hand, felt a stone cold pang in the heart due to Kyungsoo’s new found term of honorific towards his name.

“Hyu-...h-how have you been?” the younger asked, hastily looking on the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Do you really expect me to be fine, Jongin?” Kyungsoo was surprised that he managed not to stutter. The younger snapped his gaze towards Kyungsoo. “I didn’t really expect you to care, well since you were the one who wanted this.”

Jongin couldn’t speak. He was just gawking at him; he never knew Kyungsoo was capable of actually seeping out angst that much.

“So how was it, Jongin?”

“How’s what?”

“Giving my love away.” It rolled out Kyungsoo’s tongue perfectly; his iness went up a notch. Jongin cringe at the sharpness of it. Jongin didn’t know what to answer, he was taken aback. Never had he imagined meeting Kyungsoo again would be like this.

“Still the same old gobsmacked bastard you are eh? Fine!” Kyungsoo made his way towards the exit. He couldn’t stand it anymore. It was suffocating. He felt like exploding like the big bang.

“Kyungsoo, wait!” He stopped dead on his tracks. He didn’t dare face Jongin. He knew he’d crumble down if he did.

“I-I just hope…in the future we can be friends again.” Jongin mentally facepalmed himself. It was not what he wanted to say.

“Future? You turned your back from the future Jongin.”

“Wha-“

“Coz you forgot everything about the past.”

Kyungsoo then walked out of the place, he walked faster and faster which in the end turned into a sprint.

“Damn it. Damn you, Kim Jongin.” He muttered as tears streamed down his cheeks.

 He stopped when he reached the far end of the park. He took a seat on the empty bench. He wanted to congratulate himself for being able to hold everything back there… yet he can’t. He wiped away his tears with the collar of his shirt.

“Damn you. After all this time, I still love you. I still want to be with you.”

And who would’ve thought that that one incident was all it took to bring Kyungsoo back to where he started.

And he was back to square one.

-

“Why don’t you make a video Soo-ah?” Baekhyun suggested out of the blue. All eyes suddenly focused on him as they all sat in quietness in their trademark corner of the coffee shop.

“Video of what?”

“You.” Baekhyun said casually.

“M-Me?” Kyungsoo’s eyes went big as saucers.

“Yes, of you – singing.”

“What?!” Kyungsoo’s getting more lost than ever.

“And then you’ll upload it to the internet.”

“Good one, Baek! Use youtube Kyungsoo-ah! It’s much known and commonly used by people.” Chanyeol commented, the rest were starting to get where things were going. Kyungsoo was still oblivious.

“And then he’ll see it.” Minseok continued.

“And then he’ll realize everything!” Tao almost squealed.

“Wait, wait, guys what?” Kyungsoo was starting to get frustrated over his friends.

“And then they’ll get back together!” even Suho was going with it.

“No, no! He’ll ask forgiveness first! He’ll be on his knees, begging, and crying for forgiveness. And he’ll be welcomed with open arms and lovely kisses!” Luhan said with his voice going a pitch higher, not even trying to hide his excitement.

“And then that’s the part where they get back together.” Yixing’s voice was laced with such amusement and deviousness it actually sent shivers down Kyungsoo’s spine.

“Damn right!” Chen gave Yixing a high-five.

Kyungsoo stared at his friends with realization dawning on him. The sudden realization made him froze to his seat and his eyes grew even wider – if that was even still possible.

“What the actual hell guys?!” Kyungsoo snapped. The commotion of his friends halted, all of them freezing in mid-air.

“Don’t you like the idea, Soo-ah?” Baekhyun said calmly but with a hint of hurt in his face.

“It’s just that…I’m trying to move on here guys! Weren’t you guys even the ones who actually wanted me to move on? What’s with the sudden change of heart?” Kyungsoo didn’t get it. The other day, those boys were actually willing to do death-defying stunts to help him! And then all of a sudden, there they were fanboy-ing and wickedly planning on a scenario of them getting back together. Oh the irony of it all!

“We know what happened, Kyungsoo.” Tao said gently.

“We actually saw and heard every single thing.” Kris said in an as-a-matter-fact tone. Kyungsoo stared at them with disbelief.

“You were kinda mean to him actually.” Tao said with a slight frown.

“It’s more of y to me.” Chen said, earning a smack in the arm from Minseok.

“Kyungsoo has all the right to be! That man ing broke his heart, remember?” Luhan spatted in defense, Sehun quietly held on to his boyfriend as he tried to calm him down.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough! The point is we saw you guys and we saw how much you still love him and we know he loves you as well despite all the harsh things said.” Suho said in a fatherly tone.

“You still love him right?” Chanyeol questioned the still frozen boy.

“I…I know you guys went through a lot just to help me get over him...but yes, I still do.” Kyungsoo said in a small and almost inaudible voice. He was fumbling his fingers against the hem of his jacket.

“Then it’s settled. Everyone, you know what to do.” Kris said as he stood up and made his way towards the exit. Everyone else did so, with Kyungsoo being dragged by Chanyeol, Sehun and Yixing.

“Yah!!! Where are we going?!” Kyungsoo demanded as he struggled to get away from the grips of his friends.

“To the studio.”

-

Kyungsoo sat in the swivel chair as his friends buzzed around trying to set the studio. Baekhyun never liked his studio being reorganized but today was an exception.

“Chanyeol please set the microphones here. Sehun and Yixing bring the couch to the left. Thank you!” Kris barked from the corner of the room as he sets up the lights.

“Chen and Tao please bring those boxes to the side. Luhan, is the camera on set already?” Luhan gave a thumbs-up. Kris hovered over to the controls Suho was still fixing.

“Everything all right here?”

“Yep, just a bit more mixing and we’re set!” Suho said without averting his gaze.

As Kyungsoo watched his friends tidy up the set and make it look like “their” old apartment, he started questioning whether it was really a bright decision to actually agree to their master plan.

“Where’s Minseok?!” Duizhang’s voice resonated in the room. Everyone else shrugged.

“Uhh..Kris..” Baekhyun pointed his thumb towards the pantry section.

 “Minseok stop eating the steamed buns and get your over here!”

“Yh-esh!” Minseok said with his mouth still full.

“Baozi!!!” Luhan squealed and immediately reached out to pinch Minseok’s cheek. The other boys saw them and immediately joined in. It’s not everyday that they get to mess around with their ‘Baozi’.

“Okay kids, we’re all set!” Suho announced. Kris broke off the commotion but not without giving a pinch himself.

“Come along Soo~! I know how much you’ve dreamed of becoming a singer. Now, now, we’re gonna put that into good use. It would be like hitting two birds with one stone!” Baekhyun pulled Kyungsoo from his seat and onto to the middle of the set. Chanyeol focused the camera towards him. Yixing picked up his guitar, all set and just waiting for his cue. Everyone else on their posts, all were too serious in a blink.

“This is your chance Kyungsoo-ah! Let him know the real thing.” Kris said warmly and raised a thumbs-up.

Kyungsoo sang with all his heart. It was as if telling a story, telling him that everything he said the other day was just a part of the big picture. And he tried hard not to cry.

“And it’s a wrap!” Suho clapped and gave everyone a pat on the shoulder, telling them they did a good job. He went up to Kyungsoo and gave the lad a warm hug. “You did so well today.”

“Thanks.” Kyungsoo smiled faintly.

The others were hogging the computer as Chanyeol uploads the video. Kyungsoo just slumped back down to the swivel chair and spun himself a couple of times.

It’s done and there’s no more turning back.

-

“Soo-ah!! Soo-ah!!! Come here and take a look!!” Baekhyun motioned Kyungsoo to come nearer with his hand. Chanyeol was hugging him from behind, peering in at the commotion his boyfriend made.

“WOAH!” Chanyeol gasped. The others got curious and looked as well. Different emotions burst everywhere! Luhan and Tao was squealing and jumping in glee. Kris and Suho were smiling brightly to themselves like how an “appa” would. Chen and Yixing bragging around at how their works contributed to the success while little Sehun munched on his chips as he squirmed in to push the replay button.

It has just been a while and his video was booming with views and comments. Kyungsoo instantly became an over-the-weekend sensation. He never thought it was possible and damn, maybe the odds really are in his favor. He squished in between Baekhyun and Chanyeol to get a good look on the screen.

“Look! Look! Read the comments! They’re so lovely!” Luhan really seemed to have an inclination when it comes to fluffy and adorable things.

“Woah! Someone even wants to marry you and your voice.” Tao pointed out.      

“Heck! Someone wants to make love with your voice.”

“Okay, now that’s creepy.” Yixing was laughing while the others cringed in their respective places.

“Do you think he saw that already?” It was Chen and everyone was starting to wonder why the hell is it always him that asks such questions.

“Maybe.” Suho’s always the one who saves them at such crisis.

“I would like to believe so.” Of course, the duizhang loves adding positivity and support for everyone’s calmness.

Careless, careless! Shoot anonymous, anonymous!

“Hello?” Baekhyun was on the phone and everyone eyed curiously including Kyungsoo himself.

“A guest? Where?”

“Radio show? When?” The other boys looked at each other and back to Baekhyun.

“Neh, neh, we’ll be there. Kamsahamnida!” Baekhyun stood from his seat and ran a hand through his hair.

“Kyungsoo, we’re going shopping!”

“What for?”

“You need to look good on this.”

“Excuse me, but I believe I do look good already.” Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow.

“I know. But you have to look really really good on this if you want to lure a certain tanned man back.”

“What?”

“You’re requested as a guest by one of the leading radio shows in Korea. And it’s on the day after tomorrow and no, you can’t ditch this.” And with that announced, Kyungsoo’s face went three shades of color down while a flood of high-fives, cheers and laughter swarmed around him.

-

Kyungsoo gripped the microphone in his hand as if his life depended upon it. He let out a sigh and looked straight at the camera positioned directly in front of him. This was his chance. One of the last few bridges he still has. He can’t afford to commit any mistake.

The radio Dj gave him a nod and hit the play button. This was it. It wasn’t about his long-time dream of getting a break and finally being acknowledged as an artist, as a singer. It wasn’t about proving that he deserves all the likes, shares and views he got from his youtube videos. It was not about impressing people.

It was about him getting his message out. It was about him reaching out to that one specific person. It was about him pleading the heavens that with this one song, in the next few minutes, he would reach that person’s heart and maybe, just maybe everything will make things right. Kyungsoo sang the song as if there was no tomorrow.

He poured everything into each word with a ing burning passion. All his feels were reflected and it would be a ing lie if the DJs and everyone in the set would say they weren’t move the slightest bit.

This was the last thing he thinks could actually work. It was his last resort. Their last meeting was so messed up and he hoped the song would clear things up.

“Wow! Kyungsoo-ssi~ you really have a very very nice voice!” One of the DJs said.

“He’s right! And you sang it so well! We were all so moved! Are you sure you never had voice training before?”

Kyungsoo let out a soft chuckle. “Aniyo. Thank you very much.”

“Aigoo, so modest! But tell us Kyungsoo-ssi~, who did you sing this song for?” Kyungsoo was surprised by the sudden direct question.

“Pardon?”

“Well, with the way you sang, we’re pretty sure it’s coming for something and most certainly dedicated to someone.” The DJ elucidated.

“Ahh, neh. It’s for my special someone.” Kyungsoo’s lips curled to a faint smile.

And the night went through in a breeze. Occasional laughs, questions here and there and yet Kyungsoo’s heart was still racing. He was still pondering on his performance earlier and wondering if the only person he intended it for heard him.

It wasn’t long when the broadcast was over. Kyungsoo did get a calling card from an entertainment company and some other contacts regarding his “bright future” to which he just smiled and bowed at. It was least of his priorities as of the moment. The bus ride wasn’t as long as he thought it would be, anyway it is the middle of the night and the streets were almost cleared. He decided to walk towards his apartment, just to buy enough time for him to think and composed himself before facing the empty flat.

As Kyungsoo turned at a curb, he saw the familiar looking payphone he usually resides to every morning and evening. He took a deep breath and went in.

Last time…just one last time.. Kyungsoo repeat the words into his head. He has to try. He must try. He reached for his pockets and fished out the exact amount. He reached out for the phone and before he even lifts it up, it rang.

“What the actual hell?” Kyungsoo almost jumped out of his skin. There was voice in his head that pushes him to answer the call. “There’s nothing to lose, right?” And Kyungsoo placed the receiver in his ear.

“Hello?” Nothing can be heard other than the heavy breathing from the other line. Kyungsoo was about to put the phone back when he got startled by a panic-stricken voice.

“Wait! Wait!”

“Who’s this?”

“Hyung…I…”

“J-jongin?”

Kyungsoo looked up and squinted. He thinks he’s hallucinating that he’s seeing Jongin across the street in another payphone booth. He then took a step outside with the phone still pressed to his ear. Imitating what he did, Jongin stepped out as well.

“Hyung...”

Kyungsoo stared at the man across the street. It was the man he has longed to see, still with the same sheepish grin that pull his facial muscles up automatically. This isn’t a dream now, is it?

“...can we try again?” 

○A/N:
I hope you guys like it, thank you for reading, and well...yeah. Please don't mind the spelling and grammar errors. :D