No one really hears a heart breaking. Kris knows that for a fact so he must be delusional when he thinks he can how his own is shattering right now.

     He looks at Lay and Luhan and wonders just how stupid he actually is. He doesn’t know why he thinks he can compete with the closeness the two of them have. Just look at the two of them. Only Luhan and Lay could pull off that best friend vibe while edging towards something more. He swears that the two of them could talk so close to each other, their lips almost touching and not blush at the close proximity. They could stare into each other’s eyes and understand what they want to say without saying a single word. Kris finds it ridiculous beyond belief and he tells himself that he was never going to be like that ever.

      Or maybe, Kris grudgingly admits, is that he’s ing jealous of Luhan. It doesn’t have to do with the fact Luhan didn’t look a day over his adolescence and that he made the mistake of actually calling Luhan gege one time during recording and all the people looked at him like he was crazy. Last time he was doing that by the way. It was more of because Luhan actually has the best of two worlds:  on and off camera. Hunhan is real as well as Layhan. It’s unfair that he’s with both of them and yes in a lover way. Yixing knows about Sehun but he’s pretty sure Sehun doesn’t though.

         Yet what makes him upset the most is that Yixing doesn’t mind. Whenever they’re back at Korea, Luhan would attach himself to Sehun and he would just turn away, pretend like it’s not happening. When they’re in China, they’re practically married. The thought makes Kris’ heart falter more.

“Dude, you sound so bad. Don’t tell me the great duizhang has been crying.” Chanyeol teases him when they talk.

Kris groans, sniffing. “ you. Why do I even call you?”

“I’m the only one who listens to your .” Chanyeol waits, expecting a sarcastic remark and when it doesn’t, he understands just how much kris is hurt. “Hyung, you’re never going to get over Lay hyung if he’s all that you look at.”

“He’s not all I look at, Chanyeol. He’s all I see.” Kris breathes.

“Xiuchen is real. Layhan is real. Why not make Taoris real too?” Chanyeol suggests quietly.

“Tao’s my dongsaeng. I won’t use him like that. Besides, Baekhyun’s got him hooked.”

Another suggestion almost leaves Chanyeol’s mouth but he pushes it back. It’s not yet the right time for that.

“Duizhang ge?” Chanyeol could hear Lay’s gentle voice on the other end.

Kris probably stares at him and sighs. “Chanyeol, I . . .”

“You have to go. I understand.” Chanyeol hangs up before Kris could.

      Kris walks over to Yixing taking in all of his features. Has he always been this beautiful? Kris couldn’t help the thought from his mind. All of a sudden, Lay grabs him in a hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck and he stays frozen for a few seconds until he slowly wrapped an arm around the younger. He pulls the two of them on the couch while rubbing circles on Yixing’s back. He waits for the younger to explain to him why he was crying but nothing comes out. There’s only silence. Yixing is the first one to pull away and he looks at Kris with such sad eyes that it hurts him more.

“I don’t know if I can take it, gege.” Yixing whispers.

Kris wipes away some of his tears. “It’s going to be okay.”

Yixing shakes his head. “We’re going to Korea tomorrow. He’ll be with Sehun again.”

Then kris understands. Yixing was scared. “L-luhan loves you.” Kris manages to stutter after a whole three minutes.

“But I love him more.” Yixing says as he stares into Kris’ eyes.

“I know, lay. I know much more than you think.”

       Yixing is confused and when Kris tries to explain, he feels a pair of warm lips against his own. Kris thinks he must have fallen asleep and that this was all a wonderful dream but when he hears his own name from Yixing’s mouth, he dismisses the thought. He kisses the younger back, slowly as if trying to show him how much he loves him. He tries not to show his face when Yixing pulls away and runs to his room without looking back. Kris sighed. Yeah he was definitely stupid.

      The trip to Korea is quiet and awkward. It was even funny if you think about it. Nothing makes Kris smile though. He finds the familiar heads of the K members in the airport and he goes to Chanyeol without hesitation. Chanyeol expected the action so he quickly guided the whole group back to the van. The awkwardness of the Chinese counterpart was covered by the K members’ noises. Kris tries to smile at them because to be honest, he had missed them too but it becomes a grimace that Jongin gets scared of. Upon walking in the dorm, Kris heads towards his room with nothing said and Chanyeol follows him.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Chanyeol said, throwing a pillow to the leader’s face.

       Kris tells him everything and Chanyeol listens. The happy virus regrets throwing the pillow because he wants to see the older’s face. Not to make fun of him but to see how hurt he is.

“I think I can hear my heart breaking, Chanyeol.” Kris mumbled, rolling to his side.

      Chanyeol nods because he understands. He understands it so well. He could hear his own breaking as well as he watches the man before him.