I woke up early in the morning looking at the clock in front of me. Another day came…another day with Heechul. Everything was in black and white because of the darkness that filled my room. I waited and waited some more…ahh…soon he will be coming. And I listened to the ticking of the clock, a few minutes more and he will be here.

Soon enough, the bright light hit my face as he opened the door and the lights. I smiled and looked at him. Only him.

“Good morning,” he walked closer to me and touched my head in the fondest way. “How was your night SooJin~ah? Did you sleep well?”

Good morning Heechul~ah… I answered silently. I slept well and dreamed of you last night…

“That’s great.” He said with a smile. “Let me fix your hair, araso? Oppa, came earlier today have you noticed? It’s because I missed you already.”

Huh? Chincha? I looked at the clock again and saw that he was really earlier than the usual. Somehow it made me feel glad that he thinks of me as well.

Slowly, he touched my hair in the most intricate way. Brushing it in the gentlest way. Before, I was disregarded…but when I met Heechul…I felt...blessed…

“I need to change your clothes as well…ayyyy…don’t worry. You know that I’m not a ert right? I’m just doing what I have to do.”

I totally understand. I smiled at him again.

As he removed the dress I was wearing I didn’t feel bad. He’s been doing this for over a year now. Doing my hair, getting my clothes on. He was never awkward, never treated me less than careful. His eyes focused on what he was doing and not on my body that I felt nothing but comfort. In his hands, I won’t feel uncomfortable or feel being used. He was sweet…gentle…kind.

He smiled in contentment as he looked at me, fully dressed and prepared for another day. He touched my cheek softly and said, “You’re really pretty SooJin~ah…you should not feel inferior to those people that look down on you. You’re beautiful.”

Those complements filled my heart with joy as I do nothing but stand there and smile. I wanted to reach out my hand and touch him. Lean over and kiss him. Wrap my arms around him and stay there forever. But those things, I can never do.

The door opened with the sound of a chime, a woman entered the room and joined him, looking at me contentedly.

“You did a great job again today Chul~ah.” She said in amazement.

“SooJin is pretty easy to work with. She’s nice and calm, unlike you.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her close to him, their lips touched and I felt the world crash under my feet. I wanted to cry and run away, but I can’t do nothing but stand there before them and watch everything happening.

As their lips parted, she smile and looked at me once again. “Ah, sometimes I still wonder how you really feel about her. It’s really weird to name a mannequin.”

“Wae? People make names for trees…why can’t a mannequin have a name?” He removed his arms from around her waist and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “SooJin~ah, don’t worry. I will protect you.”

I smiled yet again. Even if I want to cry, I cannot do so. I don’t have a heart and a mind. These feelings…I don’t really know where they came from. But as I watch the two of them talk and cuddle on one side of the boutique he owns, I envied her. I wanted to be there for him. Smile and laugh with him. Call his name…but…

He was all I ever wished for in this world…

He was all I ever needed…

But…

Even if I wished a thousand times, there will be nothing but an empty room at night…the ticking of the clock…the endless dreams of a doll…

All I ever wished for…

Was him…