Author - SujuElfSS501Fan4Life 
Status - Not rated, On-going
Pairings/Idols - Donghae, Kyuhyun, Yoona, Jessica
Genre - Romance, drama, student teacher
Ratings - ★★★✰✰ (3 out of 5)

Plot  

The story unfolds with Yoona on a phone call with her mother. Her mother was urging her to sign the disowning agreement papers as soon as possible. Hah. She ended the call with this sentence. 
           "From this moment on, we're complete strangers. I don't know you, you don't know me. I lost my parents in a fire when I was 5 and you never had a child that went by the name Yoona, this is the last time that I'm going to answer your calls and this is the last time that you're going to see me, we're complete strangers as soon as this call ends, but I'd like to you know that there's someone out there that holds an unbelievably amount of hatred towards you, I'd like you to never forget that."

The story then flips to another scene of an after-lesson classroom where Yoona and Donghae were the only ones left in class. Donghae appears to be a Math teacher in Seoul University and had been Yoona's teacher for three years. He was interrogating her. Asking her why does she hate him, why does she not smiles, what could he do to make her smile. To which she replied, "nothing you can do, nothing can anyone do, can or will make me smile" Donghae then left the classroom, cursing himself for being late for dinner with Jessica, leaving Yoona with envy, hoping that she herself had someone making dinner for her, waiting for her. 

Moving on, the next chapter begun with a letter, yet not a confession from a guy named Kyu. Stating that he had been trying to befriend Yoona since 8 years ago and was okay with the fact that Yoona does not know who Kyu is. Yoona was curious though. 8 years, which meant he had seen her when she was still bubbly, all smiles, studying hard and her skin was still not inked. Who could it be as she left everything behind in Jeju Island three years ago? A heart shaped lollipop was attached to it and she happily unwrap the plastic and gave it a . That scene happened in class. In fact, Donghae's Math class. He yelled at Yoona for interrupting, asking her what does she thinks she's doing eating in class, giggling and smilling all by herself. In fact, he never cared when she ate last time, and he was definitely curious. Who could have gave a love letter to the scary Yoona ? With a lollipop on it! Plus, she was smiling. She never smiles! 

Once the class ended, he apologised to her. Halfway through, Yoona received a phone call, from the bubbly Sehun. Telling her that Kai, the older brother flew to Seoul two years ago, and now Sehun, the younger brother is 18, he could fly alone it. If you know what he meant... Yoona was mad at him for when she was beaten up in Jeju, non of them stood up for her. Sehun explained that it was because their parents sabotaged them.  Sehun then ended the call when he figured out that his mother is done having with someone and might come out from the room any moment. She hung up and realised Donghae was still in class. They continue bickering and Donghae realised he was late for dinner with Sica again. That left Yoona furious. Chapter 3 ended with Yoona screaming down the halfway. Scolding Donghae for blaming her for being late to dinner. That left Donghae chuckling. “Who said that I was blaming you Im Yun-ah? Aigoo, you’re so cute when you’re mad.”

Halmoni's nag

Ahh. There's just three chapters so far. This is difficult. The reason why you get a three out of five is because, theres only three chapter and you're just at the beginning of the mountain. There's no conflict yet, there's no drama or whatnot, yet. But, not bad, bro! So far, so good. You have a very interesting plot, though student and teacher is very common in AFF, teacher and teacher (HaeSica) is very rare. Somehow I find HaeSica really cute here, though there's nothing between them except "OH IM LATE FOR DINNER AGAIN AND SICA IS GOING TO KILL ME". Still, I can feel their love. I don't know how. But you managed to do it. Grats. Between the siblings, Sehun, as usual, bubbly in every fanfic, is very close to Yoona, huh? Hah, I could fly on a plane on my own now... I wonder what would happen if he appears knocking on Yoona's apartment door in the middle of the night... I would love to see Kai in the future though. Would like to know how you would express him. As for Yoona and her parents, dang, yo, she hates them huh ? You expressed it well. I could feel the loathe. Good job. Yoona and Kyuhyun basically has nothing yet except for the letter.

So finally, YoonHae. I do not know how but I don't get the Yoona and Donghae thing. He cared for her. She hates him for being a busybody. But does he like  her yet? I mean, why is he mad when he sees her with the lollipop? IMO, everyone's relationship with Yoona was stated clearly except for her's with Donghae. I dont know, tbh. I couldn't judge yet. There's only three chapters so far. I'm sure you planned it out.

There's a part in the first chapter where someone called her and she left. Who is that? You said her boss does not call her even if she's late to work so who could that be? Were you planning to explain that person in future? Or was is someone not important? One of the flaws would be, how do I put this in a sentence yet you can undersand? Since you use a lot of dialogues, maybe you should somehow state like where there scene happened. The part where she was reading the letter, I thought she was reading by her locker until DongHae calls her. Stupid me. Because, out of no where, she will be talking on the phone with her mom at somewhere, then she would be in the class, then she's by her locker then she's back to the class. 'Nam saying? No? Nevermind... 

TBH, there's not much I could point out. This story is pretty interesting. Im sure you would get better since this is only the beginning. You are actually a very good writer and I look forward to read your other stories. -shows gummy smile- I will subscirbe to your story and when you complete writing it I will re-review. :) I hope by that time, the story is already featured and I could give you a 5 out of 5. :) Again, this is just a review from someone not important. Do not get too stimulated, alright ?

I couldn't really give you marks as its not done but roughly, this is what I manage to get. 

Story - 70%
Originality - 10% 
Overall - 7%        
Total - 87%

Deduction; -1. There were a few grammar mistakes but they could be overlooked.

Final marks - 86/100 

I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY REVIEW!  And remember to credit us in your foreword!
 

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