Let’s Talk About Love:

Are you waiting for him to say sorry? Are you hurting because you can’t understand his complicated heart? Don’t expect him to change, just accept him as he is. Someday he will try harder on his own for you.

I leaned my back on the sofa and sighed, ‘Not a single phone call.’

“Tiffany,” I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Taeyeon smiling brightly.

“Ne?” I said lowly.

She looked at me with worried eyes and lips starting to pout. I looked away and sighed once again, I don’t really want to talk to anyone but him right now.

“Did you guys fight again?” She quickly asked after sitting beside me.

I just nodded and stared back at my phone.

“Well, why don’t you call him?” Taeyeon asked.

I shook my head. “I want him to call me this time.”

 Taeyeon stood up and tugged on my hand, “Let’s wait for the elevator. Cameras are around, be sure to smile. We don’t want everyone to worry, yeah?”

I nodded and put on a fake smile. It was December 9^th, night of the Golden Disk Awards 2010 which is also known as ‘Grammy Awards of Korea’ where idols were given recognition of the album sales and successive ratings. I am usually excited about these kinds of events but somehow, I can’t seem to cheer myself up.

SNSD members gathered around and chatted non-stop. I stayed in the background, trying to hide from the cameras that were capturing our every move.

Look for the light far from the darkness that dwells in this separation. That name shining brighter than anything else in this world.

When we reached the floor in where we will broadcast, we were immediately shown to our table. I looked at him as I pass by his table, just beside ours. He looked away and I can feel my heart sting. I bowed my head down and sat beside Seohyun.

Even if your pain grows as much as you’ve loved, don’t give up.  

“Unnie, are you alright?” Seohyun asked when she grew aware of my sniffing and wiping of tears secretly.

I nodded, “Ne, I’m fine.”

Seohyun gently rubbed my back for comfort. I tried hard to stop my tears or else it will just ruin my makeup and people will finally notice that I was sobbing. I don’t want them to see that at all, especially with all those cameras and Heechul oppa.

Do you grow farther apart as you get closer? Don’t make any more excuses that will cause pain through unspoken reasons and just embrace her. She’s the most precious girl in the world, don’t ever lose her.

Leeteuk hyung nudged at me, “What?” I looked at him.

He had that serious face on, “That poor girl is crying.”

I stole a glance at Tiffany who has her head on her palms and their maknae rubbing her back soothingly.

“How sure are you, hyung?” I asked, trying to avoid his glare.

“When did you start taking her for granted?” Ouch. Was I really that bad for Leeteuk hyung?

“You don’t know that whole story, okay?” I mumbled.

Hyung held my arm, “Exact same words, Chul. You keep saying that when I know exactly what you are fighting about. Don’t you know how much pain Tiffany is feeling?”

“Doesn’t she know I’m feeling pain too?” That question shut Hyung up. I looked away and chatted with the other members.

This love that the world can offer is always by our side, in our courage.

“2010 Golden Disk Award Daesang goes to..” I was thankful that this is about to end. I really want to go home and let my feelings pour out freely.

“Girl’s Generation!” I shot my head up and looked around to my members, all were shocked and some were close to tears. I was happy but.. Heechul oppa.

I turned to Super Junior oppas, fake smiles on as they stand up and clap their hands. Seohyun dragged me to the stage, my gaze never left Super Junior’s table. ‘I’m sorry, Jungsoo oppa.’ Knowing that this is his only wish, I felt really bad standing there and accepting his heart’s happiness. Heechul oppa didn’t look happy either, I let go of Seohyun’s hand and went down first. I just hope no one notices this.

Super Junior oppas went out first, maybe because of their disappointment. I tried to follow them but I was stopped by their manager.

“Mi young- ah, please talk to Heechul next time.” He gently said.

I nodded, “Arasso.” I walked away.

With your patient faith and gentle heart, please forgive her mistakes.

I feel sick but I tried to comfort my members as they cry. “We can win this next time.”

We left the floor and were about to leave the building when I heard manager hyung talking to Tiffany.  I was about to walk back to Tiffany when manager hyung turned to me and signaled me to proceed to the van.

I sighed, ‘Tiffany-ah, wait for oppa.’

With unchanging love and eternal happiness, we will become blessed as one.

 “Tiffany, let’s sleep.” Sooyoung called out. I looked up and shook my head.

“I’ll finish watching this.” I pointed at the television set.

Sooyoung hissed, “You are just staring blankly at the television, don’t lie to me.”

“You should sleep, Sooyoung-ah. “ I said.

Sooyoung disappeared in the kitchen and went out to sit next to me with a large bowl of ice-cream.

“Here,” She put it in front of me. “Eat this.”

I got the bowl and scooped the strawberry ice-cream hastily.  Sooyoung was silent; I can feel her observing me.

“Fany-ah, don’t hold it back.” She finally said.

I didn’t think any further and let my tears cascade from my eyes. Sooyoung got her arms around me; she gave off that feeling of security. I cried my eyes out, letting all the pain out with my tears.

Even if pain comes to us once more, I strongly believe that we will overcome them.

After minutes of crying, my phone rang. I looked at Sooyoung who got her hands off me and got the bowl of ice-cream from my hands.

I smiled unsuccessfully and picked up my phone, “N-ne?”

“Mi young!” I heard Heechul oppa’s voice. I looked at Sooyoung with tears threatening to fall. She held my hand and smiled in assurance.
“Oppa, why did y—”

“Mi Young- ah, forgive oppa.” My tears fell once again. Why is he being like this? Is it really his habit of hurting me? I can’t think straight anymore. I can’t figure out which side of him to believe.

I stayed silent at the other side, waiting for him to say something.

-

Aish, silence; how I hate it. Tiffany must be really hurt.

“Please open the door.” I said.

Still, no response but I can hear her footsteps coming nearer each passing second.

She opened the door, her hair was messy,  her lips were shaking, she had washed away all of her makeup, she was in her over-sized pajamas, hand on her phone which was beside her ear and her cheeks were stained with flowing tears.

“Tiff,” I stepped closer and embraced her tightly. “I’m really sorry.”

She sobbed in my arms, “Oppa,”

I wrapped my hands tighter around her, “Jagiya, I love you.”

She stopped sobbing and murmured an ‘I love you too.’

I smiled and bent my head down to kiss her, slowly and passionately. How I love this childish and clumsy girl, she’s my happiness and that for sure, I will never let go of. 

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AHH, comments please! >< ♥