"Guys, Yuri and I finally decided to date."
A shaky breath of air escapes my lips frantically and i'm staring at Minho, with an expression of shock and disbelief. My heart leaps out of my chest with a cry at his unwanted, bitter words and I find myself staring at him, unable to process anything in my mind
That feeling where it feels like the whole world is crashing down on you? That feeling where you think that you're a waste to this world? That terrible.. heartbreaking feeling where you know that the person you love so much doesn't love you back? Those feelings? They're all shooting holes through my heart, making my chest tighten miserably.
Minho simply stares at me, his eyes filling up with concern and confusion. "Taemin, are you alright? You look a little pale." His hand reaches out to touch my forehead carefully, but with a swift movement, I slap his hand away and take a worried step back, concious tears pricking my eyes. And without hesitation or warning, i'm sprinting to my old, creaky apartment bedroom.
My entire body feels numb and I feel as if i'll black out and collapse to the floor any second, but I manage to painfully make it to the bedroom and fall on the bed, my face greeting the pillow obnoxiously.
When I was small, I used to get teased slightly from my friends about my feminin apperance. They always did things first, making sure everything was safe for me. They used to tell me it was dangerous to go out to the woods at night with them to play. They used to think I was just a stupid crybaby all because of my appearance and soft voice.
And I hated that.
From that day on, I never cried. I showed people that I wouldn't cry if a best friend left me, that I wouldn't cry when people insulted me and that I wouldn't cry for any emotional pain. I wouldn't cry if somebody ripped my drawing book. I wouldn't cry if somebody made fun of my dancing, nor would I cry if I lost a competition.
I wouldn't cry at all and I showed them.
People finally recognized me.. they actually let me go out in the woods. They let me bat first in games. They let me do things first, without worrying whether it was safe or not. They let me walk alone in the hallways where bullies were known to be.
And just look at me now. I'm crying over a guy i'm unbearably in love with. A guy who already has his heart stolen by a girl I hate with a pure, raw passion.
No matter how sweet, bubbly and kind she is along with a big heart, she never fails to piss me off with any action she does.
'When you start hating someone, everything they do pisses the hell out of you.' The words by my wise umma Key come rushing back to my mind. It's true and even though i'm extremely ashamed of hating Yuri, I can't do anything about it.
She never fails to make the largest smile appear on Minho's face.
Sure, I make Minho happy. I make him grin and laugh.. but not how easily Yuri does it. Just one glance Yuri does at Minho and the next thing you know, Minho's shyly looking away with a secretive smile on his face. I've known he always had a thing for Yuri. I mean, he always talks about her and whenever SNSD comes on TV, he's always pointing at her and telling us how great she dances.
It's just always Yuri.
But I never imagined him to actually make a move. I never imagined him.. to be so stupid!
Doesn't he see the way I look at him? The way I flirt with him? But he always takes the pick up lines as a joke and never flirts back.. I hate that.
I wish I confessed my love to Minho earlier.. because now, somebody else has stolen his heart.
And it's not me.
I don't even realize my face is planted in a soaked, wet pillow and I don't realize i've been crying for the past twenty minutes. I keep my head down, though. I don't feel like talking to anybody right now. Even Key.
"Taemin, you know you can't just cry. It's not going to do anything." Key sighs. I can feel the bed shake slightly and I know he's sitting besides me. "You need to-"
"Can you leave?" I mumble, my words slightly muffled by the pillow. I don't want to be rude, but I do not want to even look at anybody. I just want to lock myself up and cry.. alone.
Another sigh escapes the diva's lips and I can feel his hand patting my back. "I know you're not going to come out of the room unless you're okay and I know that wont be anytime soon."
My feelings for Minho grew so much.. that I just had to tell Key and the others (obviously not Minho) about my unbearable love. It felt uncomfortable and dangerous keeping the secret to myself and I knew that I could trust them not to tell the rapper.. the rapper. "I don't want to talk to anyone right now."
A third sigh blows out of Key's lips and I can feel his arms grab my shoulders. With a swift movement, he pulls up my weak, scrawny body and i'm now sitting up straight, facing Key with red, puffy eyes and cheeks. "Like I said, crying isn't going to do anything. Didn't you already expect them to go out, Taemin?"
I shake my head. "I knew that they liked eachother.. b-but," I sniffle. "I never thought he'd make a move on her."
"Well, you should've told him you loved him earlier." Key mumbles, wiping my tears away gently with his thumb. "And none of this would've happened."
I would've rolled my eyes, but i'm too moody to do that right now. "Are you serious? He doesn't like me. Well.. you know, like like me."
"How do you know? He might be keeping a secret like you did ages ago." Key snaps softly. "But anyway, I hate seeing you so weak, lonely and fragile. Should we all go out?"
"I don't want to see Minho." I snap, my eyes darkening slightly.
Key rolls his eyes, patting my cheek like a lovely mother. "Just you, me, Onew and Jonghyun. Yuri''s.. um.. well visiting Minho in an hour.. so I think it's best if we leave the apartment and leave them alone.."
My throat dries up. "S-she's visiting? W-why?"
"Minho wanted her to.." Key trails off, looking slightly uncomfortable. "And I told him not to.. well.. he's Minho and he's never going to listen to me."
My lip trembles and I can feel the unwanted, rushing tears pool the corner of my eyes. Key looks at me with a sad expression and wraps his arms around me, embracing me in a tight, comfortable hug that probably wont make me feel better, unfortunately. "Don't cry. It makes me want to cry too." Key whispers, patting my back gently. He pulls back, his hands on my shoulders. "Now get up and wash your face. I'll tell Jongie and Onew too."
I nod depressingly and hop off the bed, going into the bathroom.
The 'tough' Taemin has vanished, replaced by a fragile one.
"Cheer up, Taemin! Life always has its ups and downs, but you just have to be strong and fight your way through them!" Jonghyun smiled brightly, slinging an arm around my shoulder as we made our way towards the nearest Cafe. I return a forced and very weak smile in return.
Luckily, all the fans were at school so they weren't surrounding us. I mean, I love the fans and all but I can't handle more pressure and screaming. I honestly wanted to stay back home and lock myself in the bedroom, but staying in the same apartment with Yuri.. um, nevermind.
We enter a small, but comforting Cafe which sells hot drinks and different types of biscuits and cupcakes. We take the very back seat, where a small window is perched upon the wall and we lapse into a silence. "So what can I get you?" The silence ends quickly as a waitress comes to us.
"Just hot chocolates and cupcakes for all of us, please." Onew grins sheepishly as Key shoots him a look of annoyance. The waitress smiles in response and spins on her heel, ready to go get our food/drinks.
"So.." Jonghyun mumbles quietly. "Have you thought about what you were going to do, Taemin?"
From the corner of my eye, I can see Onew squirm uncomfortably in his seat. "See.. I told you this wasn't a good idea." He whispers to Key, quite loudly. Oh thy stupid Onew.
Key shuts him up by placing his hand up, his eyes narrowing slightly. "We haven't even asked him yet, you fool."
"What are you guys talking about?" I question, my eyebrows furrowing together.
Jonghyun smiles nervously. "We wanted to.. well, basically, we hate seeing you so.. sad. And we know you wont be sad.. well, until Yuri and Minho break up. I mean, you love him so much, right..?" He trails off, looking away from the hard gaze I kept him under.
"Where are you taking this?" I place my hand on my chin, quite confused. What the hell are they on about?
Key smiles purely. "We want you to do your best and break Minho and Yuri up."
I almost choke on thin air at umma Key's not quite wise words, my jaw dropping. "W-what?! Are you crazy?!"
"See!" Onew yells, pointing at Key with dark eyes. "I told you, he wouldn't want to do this! I told you!"
"Of course I don't want to do it!" I screech, a look of outrage and shock dawning on my face. "Minho will be upset, I don't want to!"
Jonghyun glances around nervously and gives me a look, to put my voice down. "Look, you need to be more quiet. If somebody hears about this.. we're dead meat."
"As in chicken?" Onew questions sheepishly, getting smacked on the shoulder by Key soon afterwards. "I m-mean, anyway, Taemin, you don't want to do it, right? You don't have to!"
Key's eyes shoots daggers at Onew. "Why are you against this?"
"As SHINee's leader, I do not want any arguements and stuff to happen between Taemin and Minho! I don't want their close bond to break, just because of a girl! People will get the wrong impressions of us and might stop liking us and our songs! People might-"
"Will you be quiet?" Jonghyun mutters, a look of annoyance on his face. "Sure, our band needs to be loved but you already know how much Minho likes Taemin! He knows how sensitive Taemin is too, so i'm sure he's not going to start an arguement."
"Exactly!" Key sighs, earning a grin from Jonghyun. "Minho loves Taemin-"
"He doesn't love me." I snapped, my gaze casted on the table. "He loves her.. that stupid.. annoying.. ugh!" Honestly, Yuri really is great. But not so much if she steals my hyung.
Key grins brightly. "And do you want Minho to be with a 'stupid, annoying, ugh', Taemin?"
I shake my head slowly, a grumpy expression forming on my feminin face. "Of course not. I deserve him.."
"And if you deserve him so much, too bad. He's dating the 'stupid, annoying, ugh.'" Key continues, his eyes twinkling with mischief as I slowly look up. "Do you think the 'stupid, annoying, ugh?' deserves Minho?"
I shake my head again, my confidence slowly starting to rise. "No! She doesn't deserve Minho."
"But they're together though. They might even stay together.. forever.." Jonghyun wiggles his eyebrows, a secretive expression on his face.
"And the only way you can get Minho to leave the 'stupid, annoying, ugh' is to break the couple up, right?" Key is almost at the urge of bursting into tears of joy.
I'm about to respond, but the waitress is back with a plate of four chocolate cupcakes and four mugs of hot chocolate, tipped with some marshmellows on the top. She places it down and Onew sadly hands her the money, not happy that the grown up always has to pay. When she leaves, I secretly whisper, "Yes. I'll break them up and I don't care how I do it."
Key grins like a cheshire cat, almost about to explode into happiness. "Yes!" He shouts with excitement, fist-pumping the air. "Yes!"
"Good for you, Taemin!" Jonghyun smiles brightly, all traces of uncomfort now gone as he pats my shoulder. "You have to man up and get your own way!"
Onew sighs, even though a tiny smile is tugging at his lips. "Well, if fights break out, don't come running to me."
"I don't think he will anyway." Jonghyun jokes. "You're always in your room, locked up, with a bucket of chicken in one hand and a remote in the other."
Onew scowls. "Whatever."
Even though i'm quite hesitant about doing this and I do know that this is extremely selfish of me, I want Minho to myself.
All to myself.