Seohyun’s pov

I tried so hard to conceal the excitement within me, my favored subject has arrive, I hold the strap of my backpack tightly, so tight that if it has a capability to speak, it will utter a protest towards the owner.

 I’m just excited that is, even though I am not good at expressing it, but deep inside I know I am.

Really, and any other words that contains the same meaning as that.

I took the last seat at the back, near the glass window, I put my bag down like the other students who went in with me, it’s close to lunch but I don’t feel hungry at all.

My stomach is filled with dancing butterflies in the garden of a striking meadow.

I’m not that romantic that’s why I failed at such stuff.

Just hopeless romantic in a way.

I extend my left hand on the window, wiping the dust for a good view, for my reflection to be more visible.

Even though it’s not a mirror at all, but Mr. Window, has always useful for me.

For months, being a senior, being in this particular subject, whom I consider the best gift I’ve ever received, I owe Mr. Window something big.

I have no idea in what way I can repay him.

A cleaning fee? Maybe.

Wiping before I leave the room using a clean 100 percent cotton towel?

 I smile at that thought; I think that’s the only way.

“There she goes again, that nerd, I told you she’s really a psycho,”    

I heard that comment from a girl, from her mirror image using this window; I can clearly tell how she looks, beautiful but her attitude ruin that beauty, and with those heavy make ups, she looks like she’s going in a drag party’

Why does the school let such students? 

I arrange my glass, yes I am wearing one, like the nerd they called me, I chose to ignore every words that comes after that insult.

It will lead me nowhere.

It will gain me nothing in return.

They are oblivious, they knew nothing. 

The chattering and squealing from the girls grew stronger, I clearly knew the reason.

His entrance.

Kris Wu’s arrival, one of the popular guys in school.

Desired by many girls, envied by most of the boys. 

The chair beside me moved, seeing his reflection, makes my heart beats noisily, so loud that it will be compare to the ring of the bell.

That’s too much and too stupid comparison right?

Chuckling…

He glance at my direction and took his seat, then the teacher came, greeting everyone.

I’m still not paying attention.

I’m still busy looking at Mr. Window, glancing at Kris reflection while he is busy looking in front. Who won’t like him, he belongs on the Top section, and he’s athletic, good looking and rich, despite the cold aura that he facade.

Who wouldn’t like him?

Even teachers love him.

In a teacher way.

I’m a smart student, although not as smart as him, but in this particular subject, I failed,

I seated at the back, since I knew no one, those who knew each other occupied the seat in front, I had no choice but to seated at the back, because of that I  can’t hear the soft voice coming out form my strict instructor.

The only compensation was that he took a seat next to me.

Yet having him as my seatmate, never help at all.

He occupied my brain in the entire period, him doing just nothing amuse me.

Him making that strange look, his simple finger tapping in his desk, him playing with his black colored ball pen, I find y. Him gently combing his golden colored hair, using his long fingers every time he’s irritated made me swallow hard, him creating those small yawns. Him raising his brows if one of our female classmates tries to rob his attention.

Him making those silly smiles every time he received ridiculous notes from one of his best friends sharing the same period.

I can write a comic book base on these observations.

I feel like a complete retard, I think I can pass the mental examination with flying colors because of my obsessions with Kris Wu’s mannerism, my seat mate during my math subject.

Back on math, my brain will process again after this subject, whatever that discussion was, I just opt to study everything at home.

My math subject becomes my Kris wu subject form the very beginning.

I’m deeply fascinated by his charm and no one until now had notice it.

Only Mr. Window whom I trust knew that secret.

And I know he will never tell anyone about me liking my seatmate.

Mr. Window doesn’t have a mouth and he will never have.

Only crazy human like me what other normal being can’t see.

At least I am aware that I am not normal.

Or to simplify everything.

I’m just a coward.

Yes, I am a coward, a big one, but I have no intention of letting him know my feelings, I have no motivation or the power to do so.

I never really expect anything; I know he will never like me.

That explains he never talk to me,

I never did.

He never made a move,

 I never did.

That’s why I’m just contented on me liking him.

Its starts and end with that.

Me. Liking. Him.        

No past.

No present.

And definitely no future.

I sigh.

I’m happy though, to realize that I am not a stone, like how my suppose friends called me, I was never really good at expressing.

Maybe because I am motherless, she died when I was ten, and my father is always busy with his work as a police officer.

Only a few knows, I also thought that if I tell them that my father is a police officer will they still bully me?

I guess not, because such cycle exist, the bullies and the victim of those bullies.

Let me remind you I am one.

How can I boast about my father if we never really talk often, he only comes home during the day when I am at school, we only share dinner one a week, Saturday night to be exact.

I can’t blame him, that’s the only way for him not to think about my mother, he was hurt and still since my mother’s death.

I never really expect a love from him since then, so now don’t blame me if I won’t expect love in return from the person that makes me happy.

Expecting, I removed that from my dictionary.

Just so you know.

In the middle of the boring Math discussion, in the middle of me gazing at Mr. window, I light tap from my seatmate caught my attention.

I’m surprise and crook my brows at him, this is the first time.

He pointed his lips on top of my desk, though my eyes still wanted to savor how beautiful his lips is.

I can’t do so. Or my cover will be blown.

I saw a folded note on top of my open math book in a not particular page.

I slowly unfolded it, worrying about my heart beat.

   “I never envy someone or something on my entire life,”

The first line read, I look at him, confuse, is this really a letter for me?

But before I cloud ask something, he pass me another one, seems like much longer than the first one.

Maybe the solution for the first puzzle, I don’t really do good on answering puzzles, I am not Luhan. The Rubik cube genius.

The source of Sehun’s envy.

“But because of you,

 how I wish I was that window,

So that the whole time,

 you’ll just be looking at me,

But unluckily I am not;

I am just someone who’s seating beside you,

It won’t hurt right?

If from time to time,

 you will look to your right?

Because that where I  am at…”

I swear my eyes were as big as those anime characters.

 Unsure if he’s just playing on me.

But I just receive a smile from him in return, while scratching the back of his neck.

Cute side of Kris.

“Ms.Seo!”

“The teacher is calling you,” he whispers.

I gasp and look in front staring at the angered teacher. I nervously stand up; I don’t know if it’s because she is calling me right now, or because of what Kris had written on this note together with his cute reaction.

Or maybe a mix of both.

“come in front and answer the problem number four now!” you can really tell how angry she is right now, it seems like she just wanted to swallow me, I look at the problem, I really have no idea how to answer it since I never really listen from the very beginning.

Another humiliation for me.

I can view clearly the annoyance in the faces of my classmates, I can see them all looking at me.

Like I am a pest in their eyes.

“What are you still standing there I ordered you to come in front!” she shouted again, tapping the desk in front.

Authority! Authority!

If I told her that I don’t know the answer, she will starts ranting me in this spot beside Kris, if I go in front, I will look stupid, but at least I will bravely stand in front.

But whatsoever means, I will still look like a fool.

Fool Seo Joohyun,

I made a step forward,

“If you don’t answer that problem correctly, you will start going out with me,” Kris whisper

“Eh?” I look at him, he’s really strange today. His words make my brain confuse even more.

“Mr. wu, don’t tell her the answer!” the teacher shouted again.

“Don’t worry sonsaengnim I will never,” he answered confidently,

Without looking back I walk in front, the fact that’s the hardest thing to do, I never really imagine that walking will be this difficult.

Maybe if he never told me such silly jokes, maybe I can think of the closest answer.

Maybe not the right one, but the closest one.

But no matter how I look hard at the problem written on the board, Kris face is the only thing that I can see.

Making myself doubt my sanity for the second time in this hour.

“That’s what you get from not listening!” she hollers again, since I am closer to her, her voice had hit the sensitive part in my left ear.

“I’m sorry,” I bow at her.

“Detention after your last subject!” she shout making the numerous student cheered.

This is my first, but I can’t do anything but just accept it, my punishment.

I walk back to my seat to see Kris smirking at me, she called another student to answer the problem.

I ignored Mr. Window for the mean time and gaze in front; the notes on my seat were gone.

I know that was only a joke, he will never dare to look at me.

What did he gain on bullying me?

I don’t really know.

Or simply he just wanted my attention because he thought that I don’t look at him like how the girls in school desire him.

He has no idea.

But he is the reason why I am afraid to make a conversation, on our first day, I tried to greet him, but he just ignored me and disregards the handshake that I offered.

That’s how I realize he hates talking to strangers.

That’s why I kept my distance, that’s how the thought of Mr. Window appeared.

I got the idea from a Korean drama, because I have lots of free time at home, I have nothing to do but just watch anything, excluding of course.

There was this guy who secretly falls in a girl, to the point that he enjoys her hitting him, he still can laugh every time he received the beating.

But I am not that type of girl all right; I’m talking about the man,

So he always waits for her in the bus stop when she finished working, saying some excuse, of course for not the girl to notice, and then it’s starts when they both ride the bus, the guy seat close to the window, because he loves gazing at the street, he enjoys watching the busy streets of Seoul, he came from Busan, the girl was too tired that’s why she felt asleep during the ride, she borrowed his shoulders, then the guy turn to her, she threaten that he will hit him if she keep on looking at her sleeping figure, that’s why the guy turn to the side, of the glass window, and there he saw her reflection.

Beautiful that’s what he thought and from then on, every time they ride on the bus, he will still sit beside the window, but not because he is gazing at the Seoul street lights, but he is busy looking at her reflection rather.

And as the day goes by, he fall in love to her deeply.  

And in the end, they ended up together because he is brave enough to confessed.

Unlike me, I prefer to just be like this.

I’m sorry for copying your idea Mr. lead of that drama.

A round of the clapping filled the room, when the problem was solved, earning me another humiliation, and thank God the bell rang I can run away from here.

I grab all my things and as fast as I could I left the room, without looking back.

I just want to eat my lunch,

Now hunger wraps me, my stomach growled in protest.

Before my last subject for the day ended I was reminded again that I have a detention, I guess I can’t really escape. I look for the strict teacher and once again, I earn another rant, before she told me what to do.

She told me to go to the library since the librarian needs some help.

I guess I’m still lucky; at least the librarian will never nag at me.

I helped the librarian pilling and arranging some books, I’m good at organizing so I know what to do and I might consider helping her if she still needs me in the future.

After more than an hour she called it a day, that I can go now, it’s tiring but, it’s good that I could help. I went to the restroom first I need to wash my hands and face  before I will go and get my backpack, I removed my glass and put it in my blazer pocket, I tied my hair so that it will not get wet.

I look normal without my glass on, but that became my habit that’s why I can’t remove it.

When I came out I was shock to see my backpack hanging mid air in front of me, and what shocked me the most is to see Kris wu staring at me,

You know the reason of my detention.

“what are you doing here?” I asked getting my backpack from his hold, nervously

“waiting for you, what else?”he casually answered with that mischievous grin.

Stop now, you keep on smiling make me lose my little sanity.

“why are you waiting for me?”I tried so hard not to stutter

“you owe me something,”he answered back with a smile,

“What did I owe you?” I tried so hard not to stutter, again,,,,

“you didn’t answer the problem earlier, that’s why I won,”

“what? I don’t understand,”

“come with me and you will understand,”

“why are you doing this to me?”

“why? if you come with me, you will understand,”

Seriously I am blank at the moment, I am bad at processing things, or I just wanted for him to say clearly his intention, that’s why I am playing dumb.

Maybe that’s the latter.   

 “what if I don’t?”

“I’m warning you , you will hate what‘s in my mind right now,”

“and what is that?”I acted brave, let’s see where will it take me.

“you will know if you continue resisting,”

“my father is a police in case you don’t know,”

“I already know that, “he showed no fear . At least he is aware that my father will be after him , whatever bad deeds he has in mind.

“why me?”

“why not you?”

“but”

“if you open your mouth again, I will kiss you”

Because of that warning I covered my mouth.

“good angel”

He tapped my head.

“Let’s go,” he smile and hold my hand.

Still unsure and ignorant but I let him drag me somewhere.

Hoping that he will explain why me,

I just hope.

Deeply hope.

That it is not a joke.

I’m putting my heart on the line.

It was a dream, my dream every Math subject, I extend my left hand touching Mr. window, in that way I can feel like I am touching Kris face.

Though for some I am the weirdest person on the classroom.

I told you I stop minding that.

“From time to time look to your right because that’s where I am at,”

I suddenly remember and I look to my right. I see kris, more that what Mr. Window depict him.

Handsome and more.

I smile at myself, I became showy of my feelings unknowingly.

Then I feel someone squeezing my right hand,

I looked down slowly,

I forgot my right hand intertwine with Kris,

in the middle of the boring discussion of our strict teacher.

Everything was not a dream. And he had warned me that he will punish me if I always thought that everything that happened were my illusion.

Who would believe that he likes me, that on that same day he confessed, that after that day, we started going out, that the next day, the whole school knows that I am his girl? That after that day I became popular but I am not thankful on that.

I asked him why he likes me, he said that I am different, and that makes him attracted to me, that I never paid attention to him that’s why he considered me special.

Kris must be crazy, if he only knows, I am one of his fan girls, just the silent one.

However,

I promise that I will be a good girlfriend for him, but I will never tell him the secret that I share with Mr. Window.

Maybe if we reach our 70^th anniversary, maybe that time I will change my mind. So then we must stick together if he wanted to know. 

cr; to the drama that i used. http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Oh!_Pil_Seung_And_Bong_Soon_Young