A/N: Thanks guys! I love you all! 

My dormant brain stirred, asking myself if I would succumb to Kai and give up, letting this liplock continue. It would be better for both of us, continuing this callous battle. My thoughts had been muted, tossed away and locked in a cache. Kai suddenly pushed me away gently, heaving heavily. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, pondering my actions. His hand was still wrapped around my waist.

I felt more different and alive than I had in a long time. I actually felt bliss. I felt satisfied. Yet utter disgust ran through my body too. It was a battle, feeling ashamed and chagrin yet feeling wild and free. Released from stressful bonds.

“What happened?” he asked, grinning shamelessly. I liked it when he used those lips to kiss and not talk.

“What are you talking about?” I replied nonchalantly. I was going to play the “I don’t know” card in this game.

“I definitely wasn’t expecting you to do that,” he says more to himself than me, running his hand through his tousled hair in that annoying way. God, the more I looked at him the more I realized how drop-dead gorgeous he was. I observed his ovular, tanned face in detail, admiring the curve of his firm jaw, the planes of his face, his almond-shaped eyes framed with luscious lashes. I growled at myself in displeasure, an embarrassed blush of chagrined pink reached my cheeks.

Before I could push myself off the bed and demand that it would have been easier if we forgot this moment of stupidity and selfishness, Kai tugged his shirt off.

Holy .

Kai was skilled at this, experienced in unbuckling the belts of girls, deftly unfastening bra straps. He wasn’t going to reject me any time soon. I had to.

“I don’t want to screw you,” I said blatantly, sitting up and straightening my hair with my fingers. It was difficult not to admire his lean muscles, the smooth stomach bulked with a six pack.

He smirked, admitting defeat subtly and sitting on the edge of his large bed. “So, what did you want to do then?” he asked, grinning. The sun slipped through his floor-to-ceiling windows, igniting dark flames in his mussed locks.

“Let’s work on our analyzation, shall we?” I sighed, getting up and seating myself on his desk. That quick moment of insanity allowed me to forget about my parents. I was going to be callous of this situation and forget it ever happened. But I’m quite sure that Kai will continue to pester me.

“Sure,” he sneers, but with amusement instead of harshness.

“Look, I’m not sure where that outburst came from. And if you ever tell anyone, I mean anyone, I swear I will bury you alive and smack you with a shovel.” I pulled my hair back and tied it in a ponytail, a signal that I meant business. I didn’t want anyone to call me a hypocrite for sleeping with the most notorious playboy of Incheon, especially considering that I was supposed to detest him so much.

“A gentleman never kisses and tells afterward, dear _____. But if anyone found out, you’d just be doing yourself a favor. I mean, its not usual that a girl gets to kiss Kim Jongin in his house.”

“I don’t want anyone to find out because I hate you. Got it?” I said, crossing my arms.

It was that flash of pain again, a little distant thing that exploded in his pure chocolate eyes, crashing through the collectedness and smashing havoc. But it vanished into a distant memory the moment they appeared. “And I hate you too,” he says, grinning with amusement.

“Look, we should be doing the paper,” I said, swiveling in his chair. “It’s going to be due soon and I expect an A.”

“Sure,” he replied. His bare chest was getting quite distracting. I glance at him, waiting for him to notice the discomfort his half- body was causing me. He didn’t seem to understand.

“Put your shirt on!” I practically shout, gesturing at his torso.

Kai grinned at me, that annoying little twitch of the lips that I despised. He grabbed his T-shirt from the floor and pulled it on with agonizing slow speed.

It was around six when we completed a rough draft of an analyzation on Hester with some protests from Kai, who still wanted to write about Shel Silverstein’s wonderful book. He promised to email me a copy so I could edit it. I couldn’t trust this playboy a lot after all.

He followed me down to his elegant foyer where I tugged my shoes on. He watched me with interest, leaning against the beige wall. “Don’t you trust me to help you get your A?” he asked.

“I can’t trust you with anything.”

“And yet, you trust me enough to practically manhandle my lips and toss me onto my bed.”

I grunt, pretending not to acknowledge his presence as I tied my shoelaces.

“So, do you want to meet up again? Or will this be an almost one-night stand?” he asked.

I snorted, about to tell him off. But that packet at home, the wreckage strewn around the floor of my house, a father that expected me to care for him drunk on the couch, possibly hungover in the morning and retching in the toilet. For a moment, I even considered staying here.

“Hey, _____, are you okay?” Kai asked, coming over and gently placing his hand on my shoulder.

I shoved his hand away, moving for the door.

“Wait, listen to me. Are you honestly all right?” he asked, tugging on my wrist he managed to get a hold on. I wondered if he genuinely gave a . About how I felt, and what I did. He probably wanted to screw me. I gazed at him, directly in his eyes and all I saw was pure honesty.

I sighed. I wasn’t ready to spill anything to him and I wasn’t going to anytime soon. I had Min and Sooyeon for that. After a moment of hesitation, I answered him. “It doesn’t matter if I’m okay or not. Satisfied? And about that thing of meeting up again, we’ll see.”

I ran down his marble steps, into the blackness that would guide me home. But unlike the rest of the world, he decided to give a damn about my answer. He followed me to my car, as I jerked the door open. I didn’t want Kai to see my face, because if he did, I might have crumbled and blubbered every detail of my private life to him.

“Look, _____, if you ever need me or whatever, I’m here,” he said. I nodded, even though we both knew I could never come to him to reveal my troubled life. I moved to sit in the drivers seat, leaning in when Kai suddenly jerked my wrist, pulling me out of the car. There was no cocky smile, arrogant lips, confident smirk.

“_____, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing! Look, just leave me alone!” I demanded, stuffing myself into the car and slamming the door in his face. I didn’t dare glance at his figure in the driveway again as I pulled out. I was sobbing by the time I arrived home.

After opening the door to my house, I immediately began to clean the mess that littered the floor, trying to prevent myself from screaming. I avoided looking at the table, which gingerly held the divorce papers. I gulped every time I passed it, pushing the urge to cry. After I finished wiping, sweeping and mopping, I ran upstairs to shower, trying to wash away the lingering touch of Kai.

I wrapped myself in a towel after I finished, dressing in my pajamas when the phone rang.

“_____! How was it? With Kai?” Sooyeon asked.

“Er … the project?” I asked nervously. I felt as if I had exposed myself to the universe, my secrets revealed for those who were interested in tearing down my life. For some reason, I didn’t want my best friend of so many years learn of the events today.

“Yeah, you guys were working on it?”

“It was fine. He was still as snobbish as usual. I went to his house instead.”

“You did!?” Sooyeon squealed over the phone. “His freaking mansion? How big is it anyways?”

“It’s huge all right.”

“Oh my god. Did you go on the balconies? I bet the view is so nice. I heard Eun Mi say to Cho Hee that she wanted to hook up with him again in his house because she wanted to look out the balcony. Apparently, last time she did it with him in his Porsche.”

“Well, I hope she gets her wish,” I reply. Eun Mi could screw him in the janitor’s closet and I wouldn’t give a .

“Yeah, Eun Mi’s so obsessed with him these days. Not that I blame her because he is just a fine—”

“Is there a point to this conversation?” I asked, smiling.

“Oh, sorry. I just called because I wanted to know if you were okay.”

Kai and now Sooyeon? Why did everyone seem to pry into my business and ask me the same question that I had no answer to? At least my reply to Kai was half correct.

“I know you hate his guts. And I hope you didn’t stab him because he’s just so hot and you’d be getting rid of one person off the already dwindling hot population.”

I laughed. “Don’t worry. He’s still alive but he wasn’t as horrible as I thought he was. He was okay.”

“Wow, I can’t believe you said Kai was okay.”

The words lingered on my lips, on the verge of confessing to her that Kai and I almost did something more and I felt so disgusted yet absolutely free of troubles … at least at that moment. I wanted to tell her and I wanted her to comfort me after, telling me with her motherlike coos that he was completely fine to use your enemy for your pleasure.

But I couldn’t.

“Hello? _____?”

“Um … he’s actually pretty smart …  I guess?” I quickly said, trying to cover up any evidence that I was about to spill.

“That’s good. Smart boys are supremely y.”

“I’ve got to go _____. See you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah. Bye Sooyeon.” I hung up. And I didn’t feel as weightless as I did when Kai had kissed me.

I never restrained myself from telling every single detail to Sooyeon or Min, but tonight I kept my tongue back and didn’t even utter a single word concerning Kai. I’d never done that before. But I hoped that they both never found out.

The next day, most of my thoughts revolved around Kai. How was I going behave around him? Would my actions give away that I had almost gone all the way with the biggest teenage manwhore in Incheon? Or worse yet, would he go around claiming that he nearly got in my pants if I had not stopped it? It would be right to treat him as before, right? Or should I even attempt to be friendly? I scoffed at myself. As nice as his body was, I wasn’t ready to be kind to him.

I settled on avoiding him.

Min and I were walking down the halls and laughing when I spotted that familiar tall head was heading our way. Tousled ebony hair, tanned forehead. Kai.

I steered Min and I one-hundred-eighty degrees, trying to escape Kai’s path as much as possible. But I couldn’t ignore him for eternity. I had him first block. Nevertheless, I pushed past the stampede of students, shoving everyone out of my way, ignoring the not so nice name-calling.

“What happened _____?” Min asked, looking at me curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said, smiling reassuringly at her. I hope she didn’t see past my strained facade.

“Well, anyways, I’m so excited! Baekhyun’s coming home today! With Myunghee!” she squealed, grabbing on my arm and hopping about. Meanwhile, my heart dropped to my gut, churning. I felt like I was about to vomit, but I kept it in.

“R-really? That’s nice. I thought he came back already,” I said softly.

Min nodded. “Yeah, I know. But he got delayed. He’s here now. And Mom’s been discussing with him about getting married with him here at home.”

I let out a shaky breath, shutting my eyes against the rampage of people, of the breaths down my back, of the constant shouts, of the unrelenting frustration, of the world collapsing, dripped in the blackness of sorrow. Maybe if I didn’t care, everything would be rebuilt. But I couldn’t.

“O-okay. That’s great. Look … I have to get to class Min. See you at lunch.”

“Oh, okay. Bye _____!”

I pushed past everyone and tried to head to the bathroom, to lock myself into a stall and to just pull everything that I kept inside out.

“Stay the hell away from Baekhyun, do you hear me?”

“Baekhyun? What—”

“A freshman who can’t stop talking? That’s great.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Stop acting like a clueless bastard.”

My face burned as I rushed through the crowd. I was practically asking to be trampled as I sprinted to AP English. And slammed into someone’s chest. I looked up, scowling to see Kai’s amused face. The smiled immediately disappeared from his lips however and he looked concerned. A posse of adoring girls were around him, hanging onto his every word. Eun Mi was there, apparently the head of his little fanclub. She was speaking to Cho Hee on the side, giggling about the time she almost ed Kai or some other drama in her perfectly polished life.

I glanced at her, listening to how she thought getting in his car and fooling around was such a major achievement and how accolades were necessary. I was pretty sure I went farther with him.

I could go even farther now … can’t I?

Before I could even say a word, I grabbed Kai’s hand and pulled him away. He followed me without a protest. I heard one of the girls mutter as we walked away, “What a ing !”

I pulled him to an empty hallway and into the library. In the mornings, the library was closed and therefore, I thought it would be best if I was seeking privacy. I pulled him in and shut the door behind me, locking it.

“What’s this about _____?” he asked and I could see his lips grinning in the dimness.

“Oh, just shut up.”

I guess he saw it coming and before I could even lean in and press my lips to his, he was already there, shoving his mouth on mine. He was more aggressive than last time, more intense than before, pushing his hand into my hair and pulling at it as I wrapped my arms around his neck to push him closer. God he was tall. He gently put me onto a table but his lips were violent as ever.

I don’t know how long we kissed as I fought for air. But I didn’t want to let go, to break my lack of attention because escaping for a few moments felt so relieving.

His hand suddenly broke the spell as he reached for the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it up. I slapped his hand away and broke my lips from his. “Not now, all right.” It wasn’t a question, it was a command.

“When?” he breathed into my ear, my skin tingling from the touch of his breath. He didn’t even sound tired or breathless, like me. He pressed against me, hand supporting my back.

“Later.”

I squirmed away from his touch, ducking under and crossing my arms against my chest. I felt so exposed. I reached for the doorknob and thought about it. Hell, who gives a . “Maybe at six.” And before he could answer, I ran down the hallway to English.