Kai pulls off Kyungsoo’s tank top leaving them, half , cross-legged, facing each other in bed. The morning light peeking through the curtains washes over Kai’s tanned skin and Kyungsoo thinks that Kim Jongin is just really, really, beautiful. Kai’s fingers dance up Kyungsoo’s sides, leaving trails of goose bumps behind.  He likes the way Kai touches him, gentle and careful, like he’s something fragile that needs taking care of. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Kai’s neck and playfully pulls him back, falling onto the soft white sheets. They laugh; Kai’s low chuckle makes Kyungsoo’s smile spread wider. Kai nuzzles their foreheads together placing a small kiss on the side of Kyungsoo’s mouth and Kyungsoo squeezes his lips in mock protest. Kai laughs again, placing the palms of his large hands on both of Kyungsoo’s pale cheeks, squishing them, effectively holding his head still as he covers Kyungsoo’s pink lips with his own.  Kyungsoo threads his fingers in Kai’s brown hair, gently combing them through as he melts into the kiss.

These moments are a secret shared between two friends. Kyungsoo is a boy in need of affection, yearning for touches, and wanting kisses, and Kai is there (he’s always there) to give him what he needs. Kai doesn’t protest when Kyungsoo grabs his hand and squeezes. He doesn’t stop to think about what this is, or what it makes him, or what anyone else would think. No. He simply squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand right back and meets him in their room later. Kai always meets him later, showering him with kisses, suffocating him with hugs, warming him with gentle touches. Kyungsoo is lonely and he takes all that Kai is willing to give.

And Kai gives him everything.

Kyungsoo is spoiled. He knows it. But he can’t help himself. He knows he should stop, let his dongsaeng go out and experience this with a nice girl. He feels like an addict, he can’t quit even though he’s ruining the life Kai could have.

Kyungsoo thinks it’s about time to start rehab. He breathes deep and opens the door to his and Kai’s room. His eyes are squeezed closed and his prepared speech flashes once more in the back of his mind before he half-yells his “break-up” of sorts.

“Kai…I-I’m sorry. I think, I’ve confused you into…something. Whatever this is. I’ve tricked you somehow. I’ve messed with your head, and I think it’s time to set this straight. I don’t know…how this happened, but I know it’s my fault. I want to apologize. I want to stop. I don’t….I think it’s best to stop. I think you should go out…or…do things with a girl or, yeah. I think it’s best. I’m being selfish, I keep taking and taking from you. I’m so sorry.”

Kyungsoo is out of breath. His eyes are glued to the floor and his hands are visibly shaking at his sides. He doesn’t know why but his eyes are starting to burn and glisten.

Kai sighs, stands, and walks up to Kyungsoo slowly. He wraps his arms around Kyungsoo’s thin neck, bumps their hips together and places a kiss on his pale forehead.

“Come to bed hyung…”

And just like that, Kyungsoo is hooked again and all his reasons for stopping this fly out the open window.  Their lips connect and Kai’s warmth spreads through Kyungsoo’s body, filling him up.